Waking Dreams: Book 1
by xEruaphadrielx
Summary: Desperate for any means of escaping her life of depression, Christa turns to lucid dreaming to escape reality. When her dream in the woods of Lothlórien turns out to be a reality, Christa must make the most difficult choice of her life. Haldir/OC romance, eventual Legolas/OC romance. Eventual Tenth Walker. Rated T to be safe. Not Mary-Sue.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello everyone! If you've read my other story (which is still very much unfinished) you probably already know that this story is going to be completely different and unrelated. I've been wanting to write my own take on the cliché "girl falls into Middle Earth" since I joined the website, and now I have too many plot bunnies hopping around in my head to be able to concentrate fully on my other story. So for the time being, I will be chipping away at "A Piece of You", while I attempt to free up some space in my head by writing this story._

 _Hope you all enjoy my take on this overdone plot haha. Even though I'm doing this for fun, I would still love to hear from my readers, so please feel free to tell me what you think. Helpful critiques are welcome. Flames will not be tolerated. I do not need to hear that the plot is overused, I know this already :)_

This story also has a **Tumblr** that will be updated as the story progresses! It's " **waking-dreams-fanfic** ", check it out!

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 **Chapter 1:**

 _"You're everything my dreams have seen._

 _But, what are dreams?_

 _I'm walking where my dreams have been._

 _But, what are dreams?"_

-Enya, _Dreams_

I sat at the foot of my bed, tugging off my socks before tossing them into the laundry hamper to my right. Even though I had already turned off the light in my bedroom, I heard the satisfying sound as the balled up socks landed softly on top of my other laundry. Pulling myself up, I made my way over to the window at the far end of my room and pulled the blinds shut. In darkness, I slowly felt my way back across the room and crawled under the covers, lying down on my back.

Raising my hands to my face, I stared at them, studying the tiny little wrinkles and creases that had developed over my 19 years. Despite the darkness, my eyes had begun to adjust, allowing my gaze to travel down towards my wrists, were I was able to see the dozens of tiny scars that peppered my skin.

"Tonight, I will know when I am dreaming," I whispered to the empty room, not wanting to wake my mom and dad who were sleeping in the room next to mine.

Over the past few months I had been trying to achieve lucid dreaming. This pattern of staring at my hands and repeating the words had become a habit that I automatically did as soon as I was in bed. After doing a bunch of research on the topic, I had tried several different methods, but none of them had been successful so far. My routine tonight was something I had been working on for several weeks already, and I was about to give up the idea of having a lucid dream altogether.

But despite night after night without being able to realise when I was dreaming, I kept trying to master the skill. I wanted to escape the life I was living and be able to do and be whatever I wanted to, even if it was all going to vanish the next morning. Despite my efforts to concentrate on my hands, my gaze dropped one again to the scars along my wrists. A part of my past that I deeply regretted.

My whole life I had grown up around horses, and had loved them from the minute I laid eyes on one. My first real word had been "horse", after "dee-da", which my mom told me was supposed to be the two syllables of the word "daddy" flipped around. I had spent my whole childhood riding my parents' old riding pony, Chubbs, and when I had turned 10, my parents had gotten me my own horse. I could still remember the first time I saw him. I had run up to him and hugged him tightly around his neck, and despite my antics, he had stood still and calm until I had detached myself. Eclipse took my riding to a whole new level. As I grew up, he carried me through cross-country courses, Pony Club dressage tests, and show jumping competitions. We didn't always place, but I always had fun. During 9th grade, Eclipse suddenly fell ill, and was diagnosed with stomach cancer. Despite the best efforts from the vets, my parents eventually ran out of money, and had to stop paying for his treatments. That summer, I made the most difficult decision of my life, choosing to have my best friend put down for his own sake.

After his death, I took to locking myself in my room. I wanted no part of the world beyond my door. For a long while I wallowed in my own pain, refusing to leave my room other than to eat, which I did silently, as though I was not even really there. The one day that sticks with me the most from that period of time was when I had decided that I was going to try and head out for some fresh air. I had woken up feeling much better that morning, and had gone to put on my favourite pair of jeans, only to find that I couldn't pull them up past my thighs. After examining myself in the bathroom mirror, I was horrified to notice the thin red lines that had seemingly materialised overnight covering my upper thighs. Battling depression with no one to talk to about it, I began to self-harm, cutting myself with the razors that I wouldn't be needing to shave my legs that summer, as I clearly wasn't going to be wearing any shorts. Thankfully, I eventually found the courage to speak to my school's counsellor about my feelings, and after many months of therapy, I was able to put down the blade for good.

That was all four years ago, but still I wished to escape from reality to a place where I could control everything. And the perfect solution for me was to hopefully learn how to have lucid dreams.

"Tonight, I will know when I am dreaming," I said, slightly louder this time, as I brought my focus back once again to my hands. As I stared at them intently, I suddenly realised how sleepy I was getting. Despite this, I urged myself to keep concentrating on my hands. I needed to be able to notice when they stopped looking like my actual hands… Despite my best efforts, my eyelids dropped and I felt myself drifting off. Too tired to resist sleep any longer, I relaxed my body and drifted off.

 _Birds sang in the trees as I stood in the middle of a small clearing. All around me were beautiful trees of gold, their leaves shimmering in the sunlight that cascaded down through the gaps in the foliage. The breeze drifted gently through the woods, rustling the emerald grass that tickled my feet. Despite the beauty of my surroundings, everything had taken on a hazy appearance, and it was hard for me to tell the difference between the different things that were around me. Suddenly, I looked down at my hands, and my brain kicked into high gear._

" _I'm dreaming!" I said out loud, looking around in excitement as my surroundings slowly became clearer and more vivid right before my eyes. A huge grin was plastered on my face as I started to walk through the trees, taking it in. For some reason, I couldn't shake the feeling that the location was familiar to me. It wasn't like there were many forests with golden trees anywhere near where I lived, but I had definitely seen this place at some point._

 _Looking down at my feet, I noticed for the first time that I was still wearing my flannel pyjama bottoms and tank top. Pursing my lips, I giggled with excitement as my pyjamas were swapped with my jeans and t-shirt. This was way too cool!_

" _I wonder if I could fly…"I pondered aloud, but by the time the words had left my mouth, I was already being lifted up into the air, the grass quickly falling away from my bare feet. The articles that I had read had warned me against down anything too exciting during my first lucid dream, as it might wake me up, but where was the fun in walking around when I could fly?_

 _Lifting my head up towards the tree tops, I caught my first glimpse of the blue sky above, and made myself float up faster. The wind was rushing past my face as I sped up, gaining speed as I climbed._ Man these trees are tall. _T_ _heir golden boughs whipped by me on every side. Opening my mouth, I laughed as I climbed ever higher. I was almost to the top of the trees when suddenly things started to feel off. I tried to slow my ascent, but found that I had lost control over my speed. Suddenly, I panicked, wondering what would happen if I broke through the trees and kept climbing forever. Slipping from the lucid dream, I lost control of my emotions. Before I had a chance to get too worried about flying all the way to outer space, my problems did a complete one-eighty, and I found myself falling at an alarming speed back down towards the ground. Just as I was about to hit the ground, I felt my stomach drop._

I sat straight up in my bed and opened my eyes wide as my heart pounded. It took me a few moments to catch my breath before I was able to grasp what had just happened. I had been able to have a lucid dream! I had blown it and completely turned it into the opposite of fun, but I had done it nonetheless! Satisfied with myself for the night, I went to lay back down up my back to get some more sleep. Instead of my pillow, my head hit the hard mattress that had been handed down to me by my grandparents. Sighing, I patted the bed around me, trying to find my missing pillow, when suddenly I realised that I was still laying in the grass in the forest. Sitting up again, I looked down at my hands, which looked just like they did in real life. Confused, I stood up slowly, looking around for any signs that I was having another lucid dream.

"I'm not sure if I'm dreaming," I said quietly to myself, unable to decide if I was dreaming or not. Surely I must be dreaming, right?

"Daro!"

I spun around as a voice shattered the stillness of the night air, my heart beating wildly in my chest. No further sounds came, so I stood still in the clearing, looking around myself, still trying to convince myself that I was dreaming. Remembering something that I had read online to help regain control, I stared into the darkness and shouted loudly.

"The sun will come up and I will be safe!"

Sure enough, the haze faded and the forest took on an orange hue as the sun rose quickly up into the sky. Still no noises came from the trees. Sighing, I smiled as I realised that I had regained control of my dream once again. _Man, this isn't at all what I was expecting, but I'll take it._ I inspected my surroundings curiously, searching for the voice that I had clearly heard. My sense of security didn't last long as the trees soon began to blur once again. Frustrated, I watched as several men emerged from the trees and surrounded me. I panicked, unable to see their faces. I felt like I was about to be attacked by at least 20 Slendermen at the same time.

"Wake up, wake up!" I yelled to myself at the top of my lungs, my eyes clamped tightly shut. This is what the wikiHow article had said to do if you didn't like how your dream was going, and I sure as Hell didn't like how this was going.

After a few moments of not being attacked by any of the figures, I decided to open my eyes. To my dismay, all of the men were still standing around me, and now had bows drawn on me from every direction. No longer were their faces blurred, I could make out every detail in alarming clarity. Trembling, I looked down once again at my hands, which looked too real to be dream hands.

"What do you want from me?" I asked in a shaky voice as I looked back up at the figure that stood directly in front of me. The figure did not reply immediately. Instead, he gave me a puzzled look and turned to the man who stood next to him. The man lowered his bow, but none of the others moved a muscle, their arrows still pointed directly at my face. For the first time since they had appeared, I got a good look at the men around me. Silver hair fell down past their shoulders, shimmering in the sunlight, and ageless grey eyes pierced mine. I furrowed my brow, feeling once again like I was having a major deja vue moment. Then I noticed their pointed ears.

"Oh my God," I whispered as the man in front of me turned to stare at me. Only they weren't men at all, they were elves. I knew now where I was. I was in the woods of Lothlórien. My eyes widened and I found myself smiling despite the situation. _Okay, Christa, time to get this dream back under control._

"Take me to Caras Galadhon!" I commanded the elves around me. Instead of instantly turning and leading me off as was intended, they immediately stiffened at the mention of the city. Sensing now that something was very wrong, I began once again to panic.

"Pedil edhellen?" The same voice asked suddenly, startling me out of my panic long enough to focus on what had clearly been a question directed at me. I opened my mouth, but of course had no idea how to respond. I didn't speak Sindarin, or whatever language this guy was speaking!

The man, or elf, gave me a hard stare, seemingly unsure of what to do, before waving two of the elves at his side to go towards me. Holding my hands in the air, I took a step backwards, not wanting to be taken anywhere anymore. I just wanted to wake up in my own hard bed at home.

"Mellon!" I found myself saying suddenly as the word popped into my head. The two elves stopped and the one who I could now tell was acting as the leader gave me an even harder stare. I stood frozen in place, hoping that I had not just said something insulting. Mellon was the elvish word for friend, right? It had been far too long since I had thought about it.

"Pedil edhellen?" The elf asked again, coming forward himself, his eyes hard, testing me. Now that they were closer to me, I could tell that they were all easily 6 feet tall. Intimidated by his sudden proximity, I could only shake my head no, having no sweet clue what he wanted to hear from me. This seemed to piss him off, as he did not reply immediately, and instead I felt his eyes drilling into mine. I shivered.

"Common tongue?" he spoke, this time in halted English, still staring at me. I nodded my head with a bit more enthusiasm this time, relieved to finally be able to understand the words he was saying. He seemed more satisfied with my answer this time, and motioned for the two other elves in front of me to carry on. Unable to escape even if I had dared to try, I stood frozen in fear and confusion as they tied a blindfold over my eyes and bound my hands with a thin rope. Thankfully, they were pretty gentle and took care not to hurt me in the process. I guess whatever I had done had earned me at least a small amount of respect.

 _This is a dream, right? Might as well just go with it. Sooner or later I'm bound to wake up._ I told myself to relax as the soft cloth was tied over my eyes and the world around me went dark. I was aware of the group of elves moving around me, and then I felt a gentle pressure on my back, urging me to take a step forward. It was slow going, since I couldn't tell ahead of time when I was going to stumble upon a root or a dip in the ground. For the most part, though, the elves on either side of me were able to steer me clear up anything that would have tripped me up.

We had been walking in silence for a long time, and I was beginning to doubt that I was even dreaming anymore. I couldn't remember the last time I had had a dream where anything was this prolonged. I felt as though I had been walking for hours already. With doubt gnawing slowly on my mind, I did the only thing I could think of in the situation. I pinched myself, as hard as I possibly could.

"Ow," I whispered harshly to myself as the pain seared down my arm. Opening my eyes, I realised that I was still blindfolded, walking along at the same steady pace, listening to nothing but my own breathing and the soft footfalls of my own bare feet. Though I could not hear them, I knew that the elves were still walking along beside me, behind me, and before me. My heart sank as I realised how much trouble I was actually in.

Though inside I was panicking, I continued to walk, for I was afraid now of what would happen to me if I stopped cooperating. As we progressed on through what I could only assume was still the forest, my legs quickly grew tired and I found myself getting breathless from the pace the elves were leading me at. Failing to move off to the side as quick as the elf on my left had intended, I tripped on a small root and tried to catch myself with my arms, which proved useless as they were still tied behind my back. I braced as best as I could for the impact, and was relieved to be caught quickly by two strong pairs of arms. Gently helping me back up, they asked me to carry on, and I shook my head, too tired to move my legs.

"I can't walk any further. I need a rest," I said, hoping at least one of them would understand, trying my best not to pant. When none of them attempted to get me walking again, I took the liberty of slowly lowering myself down onto the grass and sat cross-legged, catching my breath.

"Name?"

I jumped as a gentle voice to my right broke the silence. Turning my head in the direction of the sound, I blinked beneath my blindfold, wondering if this was the same elf as the one who had seemed to know a little bit of the "common tongue" earlier. The voice sounded pretty much the same, melodic, deep, and yet different in ways I couldn't describe.

"Christa," I replied nervously, unsure of what to make of the elf beside me. There was a silence for a moment, and I hoped that the only pleasant company I had had so far hadn't run away already.

"Rúmil," the voice spoke up in answer just as I began to think that the elf had left. I managed a small smile as the name rang a bell. _The younger brother of the Marchwarden. I wonder if Haldir and Orophin are here as well..._ I shook my head in response to my thoughts. _No._ _Haldir can speak the common tongue._ Though it was strange to not be able to see the elf I was talking to, I had a mental picture in my mind as to what he could look like. Of course, I was going off of the few shots of the two brothers from movies. Maybe they would look the same?

"Rúmil," I repeated, the name feeling awkward on my tongue. I had never really tried to say many of the characters' names, as I had mostly just read or heard them. I heard him laugh quietly as I attempted to say his name, and I felt my cheeks go pink in embarrassment. I was going to be experiencing this a lot if I really did turn out to be stuck here…

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 _Thanks for reading! I hope that you are enjoying it so far, I will try to update as soon as possible! I would have liked to continue this chapter a little longer but it was getting kind of drawn-out for one writing session. The plot will pick up in the next chapter._

 _Translations:_

 _Daro: "halt"_

 _Pedil edhellen?: "Do you speak Elvish?"_

 _Please review and tell me what you think so far! Reviews make my day! No flames please, and don't review just to tell me that the plot has been done a million times, because trust me, I already know this. Thanks!_

 _-Eru_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

As soon as I was able to catch my breath and my legs had regained their strength, I was helped to my feet and we carried on. I guessed that it must have been getting close to night time by now, as I felt like I had been walking for the better part of the day.

We had walked no longer than a few hours when all of a sudden I began to hear a voice in my head, deep and melodic. I tensed up, unsure if the voice was actually in my head, or if I was hearing things in my fatigued state.

" _Welcome, child, to the Golden Wood."_

As the words echoed in my mind, the party around me stopped, and I bumped into the elf in front of me. Embarrassed, I took a quick step back and mumbled my apologies. Suddenly, I felt the band being loosened from my eyes as a pair of hands untied the knot behind my head.

"The Lady Galadriel wishes for you to see the city," a new voice said from behind me. I felt relief course through me as I realised that I could understand what he was saying.

"You speak English?" I asked dumbly as the fingers quickly worked at untying the knot.

"I do not speak English, I have not heard tell of that language," the voice replied as the fabric was lifted away from my eyes. My gaze was immediately filled with the silvery light of the city before me. I gasped and my lips parted in awe. Before me was the most beautiful place I had ever seen in my life. _The movies did it no justice,_ I thought to myself. It was, as I had guessed, night time, and the giant trees that made up the city were illuminated by thousands of small glimmering lanterns. Each tree was dotted with an innumerable number of wooden platforms, some with lodgings built upon them, and some without. From where I stood, I could see the sweeping staircases that wound their way up and around the trunks, each covered by magnificently carved arches. The small figures of elves graced the city, seeming to glow themselves.

As I gaped at the sight before me, I heard the quiet laughter of one of the elves beside me. Turning to my left, the elf stopped laughing and smiled at me. Suddenly, I remembered the voice in my head.

"Are you taking me to see the Lady Galadriel?" I asked no one in particular, for I was unsure who had been speaking to me a moment ago.

"Yes. She has felt your presence and wishes to speak with you." I shivered at his words and turned around to see who the voice belonged to.

"I am Haldir, Marchwarden and captain of the Galadhrim." The elf behind me spoke again, his face neither friendly nor dismissive. "You have already met my brothers, Orophin and Rúmil, although I doubt you have been introduced." He tilted his head to his left, and my gaze followed to the elf who had been laughing at my awe, as well as the elf who had initially confronted me. I smiled best I could, given our less than ideal meeting situations. All three brothers had silver hair that fall past their shoulders, and their faces were fair. I had little memory of how Rúmil and Orophin had been portrayed in the films, but Haldir bore an uncanny resemblance to the character I could rememeber.

"My name is Christa," I said simply as I turned back towards Haldir, not knowing how else I was supposed to address myself. Mentioning that I was not from this world was probably not such a good idea. Haldir nodded slightly.

"That is a strange name, and your garb is very odd. From where do you hail?" he asked me, his gaze piercing. I pursed my lips, trying to think up a good cover story as quickly as possible.

"From a country unknown to you or your people. I have no memory of how I got here," I lied, hoping that my words were believable. Haldir's eyes narrowed slightly.

"The elves are an ancient culture. There is very little that we lack knowledge of. The Lady will know of your land. Come, we will go there now," he finished and walked on ahead of me. Glancing quickly back towards Rúmil, he smiled but made no move to follow us. Though he could not speak to me, I wished that he would come with us. So far, he was the only one who had made any sort of effort to be friendly with me. Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I followed quickly after Haldir, who had already put a small distance between us. I had to jog to catch up with him, but once I did it was easy enough to match his pace.

As we made our way through the city, I couldn't help but notice the stares that I got from the elves we passed. I tried my best to ignore them, but I could feel their eyes on me and I felt uncomfortable. _They must not get many visitors here._

It didn't take us too long to arrive at the largest tree in the city. Stopping at the foot of the stairs, I glanced upwards, amazed at the sheer height of the structure. Quickly getting dizzy, I lowered my gaze and started to follow Haldir up the steps. The stairs had no railings, only the arches on either side of me offered me comfort that I would not trip and fall from the edge. Still, my heart fluttered nervously as I willed myself not to look too far over the edge. Higher and higher we climbed until at last we reached a wide platform, illuminated so well that I nearly forgot that it was night time.

I followed the Marchwarden as he strode across the wooden platform and stopped in front of a set of heavy wooden doors. The wood was a silvery grey and matched the trunk of the tree that the platform was fashioned around, and was covered in hundreds of beautifully carved designs.

"The Lord and Lady wait for you behind these doors," Haldir said suddenly as he gestured towards them. I nodded and took a step forwards, extending my arms and pushing open the door, which was surprisingly light and easy to move. My eyes adjusted as I stepped foot inside the room. Haldir followed close behind me, yet gave me no more directions. I needed no further guidance, however, as my gaze went immediately to the back of the room, where two elves sat, radiating a brilliant silver glow. I swallowed my nerves and made my way over to stand before them. _Should I bow?_

"Welcome, Christa. I am Galadriel, the Lady of Lórien, and this is my husband, Celeborn." The female elf in front of me spoke up and the elf beside her smiled warmly before I could introduce myself. I shuttered. _Of course she knows my name. She can hear my thoughts!_ I remembered suddenly, and hoped that I hadn't thought anything that would insult her earlier. A deep, gentle laughter briefly filled the room and Galadriel smiled.

" _Do not fear me, child. You know of me in your land, then?"_ She smiled knowingly at me. I blanched.

" _I have learned much about you and your people,"_ I replied in my mind, hoping that she wouldn't inquire further. She continued to smile, and suddenly I figured I had better say something in reply to her welcome.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn," I bowed my head slightly, unsure if that was the appropriate thing to do. Galadriel paused for a moment, seeming to be speaking to her husband in her mind, before she spoke up again.

"Haldir, show Lady Christa to her talan." She turned her head to the Marchwarden, who was standing near the back of the room. _"You will sleep here tonight. We shall talk again come the light of day."_ I heard her voice in my head.

"Thank you," I said out loud, bowing my head slightly again gratefully. Lady Galadriel smiled and I turned away and followed Haldir back out into the cool night air of the forest.

He proceeded to lead me up another flight of stairs, where we came up onto a bare flet. At the far end there was a bridge that linked the platform we stood on to another on the next tree over. Stepping foot on the bridge, I willed myself to look straight down at the boards in front of my feet, not wishing to lose my balance because of the height. _All this intricacy and yet they couldn't put in some simple railings…_ I was extremely thankful when I stepped off of the bridge and back onto the wide flet on the other side.

"It is just one more flight of stairs up from here," Haldir spoke as he turned his head quickly to peek back at me. I nodded and followed him, silently cursing the stairs as I dragged myself up to the top. Here there were many flets that jutted out from the main platform that we stood on, each connected by a short bridge. Upon each flet was a small lodging. We passed by a couple before he stopped at the end of one of the flets.

"This is where you will stay the night. I will arrange for a handmaiden to come by in the morning," He said, regarding me for a moment. "It is not often we have allowed mortals to stay in Caras Galadhon." He added, eyeing me with interest. I felt myself stiffen uncomfortably beneath his gaze. "I do not doubt the Lady's decision. I suppose we shall see tomorrow why she holds you in such high regards." He paused again and I began to fiddle with my thumbs at my sides.

"My brother Orophin said that you spoke the Sindarin word for friend when he discovered you in the woods, but that you did not seem to understand when he asked if you spoke the language," he added, eyeing me curiously now.

"I know the word, and a couple of others, but that's it," I replied, hoping that he wouldn't question me any further. I was exhausted from the trip and frankly just wanted to be alone to think about what was going on. Haldir seemed to want to inquire further into the matter, but for whatever reason chose not to. Lifting his gaze back up to my face, he gave me a quick smile.

"Good night then, Lady Christa."

"Good night, Haldir. Thank you for showing me how to get here," I said as he turned and strode away back down the way we had come. Turning to my left, I eyed the bridge to my flet dubiously before quickly crossing it. Though it was only a couple of feet long, I just hated that there were no railings. Arriving safely on the other side, I put my hands on the door to the building and pushed it open easily. The inside of the flet was dark, but I easily found a lantern. After finding nothing to light it with, I picked it up to fiddle with it and it immediately illuminated in my hands. Raising my eyebrows in amazement, I tried to figure out how it had turned on, but soon gave up.

Though I was tired, I couldn't help but explore the living quarters that I had been assigned. The room around me was fairly small in size, but contained everything I could have needed. In the far corner sat a large bed, and next to it was a chair and table, upon which sat another lamp. Curious, I walked over and touched it, smiling in wonder when it promptly began to cast a warm glow as well.

After setting the lamp back down on the table, I resumed my walk around the flet. Besides the bed, table, and chair, there was also a small shelf which held a variety of books, some small and some large, some bound with leather, and others left loosely tied with string. Near the bed there were two doors, one which was cracked open slightly. Slipping into the separate room, I found a bath tub, a chamber pot, what I assumed was a small station for washing clothes, and a vanity with a stool and a mirror. Beside the tub was a fireplace, where a decent sized cauldron was hanging. Wandering over to the vanity, I sat down on the stool and stared at my reflection in the mirror, relieved to see my own pale face staring back at me through hazel eyes. Turning on the stool away from the mirror, I looked longingly at the bath tub.

"The cauldron is definitely for boiling the water for the tub, but where the heck does the water come from?" I glanced around the room, searching for some sort of pump. When I found none, I decided that there was nothing I could do to wind down, other than to get into bed and try to sleep.

Leaving the bathroom, I made my way directly towards the bed and sank down into the mattress, which turned out to be surprisingly comfortable. Not bothering to change out of the t-shirt and jeans that I was still wearing. _Thank God I wasn't wearing my pyjamas,_ I shuttered at the possibility of being caught with my wobbly bits all loose. Lifting the covers up and over myself, I curled up into a ball and stared into the dimly lit room. Briefly I wondered if I should try to turn off the lanterns, but no sooner had the thought occurred did the lights fade, leaving the room in darkness. Closing my eyes, I clutched the pillow tightly in between my fingers.

Only now did the gravity of the situation hit me. It slammed into me, making my insides twist and my heart ache. I was in Middle Earth. I had no idea how it had happened, but I was in Lothlórien. I had met Haldir and his brothers, and the Lord and Lady of the Golden Wood. And I had no sweet clue how I was going to get back home. Suddenly, I felt tears spring to the corners of my eyes, and alone in the darkness with no one to see or hear me, I let them fall as I whimpered softly. As I welcomed sleep with open arms, I clung to the last desperate hope that this was all a dream and when I woke up, everything would return to normal…

Sunrise came too soon. I stirred as the bright rays of the sun shone through the open window and onto my face. Blinking, I raised my hand and covered my eyes, trying to ward off the light. Suddenly remembering the previous day's events, my eyes shot open and I looked around the room wildly, seeing the same room that I had fallen asleep in. My heart dropped as I let go of my last hope of returning home so easily. There was no way that this was a dream anymore.

Clutching my head, I slowly swung my legs around and sat on the edge of the bed, staring out across the room. Even if I was stuck here, it wasn't like I could curl up and die. No one would let me get away with that here. _Besides, maybe Galadriel will be able to help me._ Pulling myself up and off the bed, I wandered over to the second door that I had forgotten to check out last night before bed. Peeking in with curiosity, I realised that it was simply a closet. Swinging the door open wider to that the sunlight would shine into it, I noticed that the shelves were stocked with several different articles of clothing. Tilting my head slightly, I reached in and gingerly pulled out one of the bundles. As I lifted it off of the shelf, the garment unfolded and cascaded down in front of me.

"Oh," I muttered as I realised that it was an elven dress. Holding it up in front of me, I sighed as I quickly realised that there was no way this was going to fit my chest. A sudden knock on the door made me jump.

"Uh, come in!" I called as I tried to quickly fold the dress back up and shoved it onto an empty shelf. As I closed the closet door behind me, a female elf entered the room carrying a tray of food. She smiled at me and placed the tray down at the foot of the bed, before quickly scurrying back outside.

Making my way over to the bed, I looked down and immediately felt my stomach growl. I couldn't remember the last time I had had anything to eat. Hesitantly, I reached down and picked up the bowl of fruit which was sitting off to the side of the tray. The fruits were cut up into bite-sized pieces, and seemed to be some kind of purple-pink melon. Cocking my head to the side, I decided that the fruit looked yummy enough to eat, and I popped a small piece into my mouth. Nodding to myself in agreement, I finished up the fruit just as the elf re-entered the room carrying a bundle of towels. Scurrying off towards the bathroom, she smiled at me once again as I watched her. Other than the now empty bowl, the tray also held two small pastries shaped like crescent moons, and a glass of juice. I quickly consumed the rest of the food and looked up just as the elf emerged from the bathroom.

"Raina" she said simply as she raised both of her hands, gesturing to herself. I nodded in understanding and raised my own hands, mimicking the gesture she had made.

"Christa," I replied with a shy smile. It was becoming more and more obvious to me that next to no one would be able to understand me here.

"Christa," she repeated my name and her smile increased, before quickly gesturing for me to follow her into the bathroom. Inside, I found that she had boiled the water, and added it into the already half-filled tub. Where the water had come from still baffled me, but I gladly removed my clothes and climbed into the steaming water without thinking too much about it. I hadn't had a bath in years, and I instantly felt my tired muscles relax. Back home I had become accustomed to hurried showers, but here it seemed I would be able to lie in this tub until the water became cold.

Raina promptly showed me where the soap and towels were, and left me to bathe. After relaxing for a while, the water soon started to cool off and I figured that I had better actually wash up before I had to do it in the cold water. Washing my body was easy enough, but washing my hair with the bar of soap proved to be hellish. Once I had climbed out of the water and wrapped myself in the soft towel, I glanced at myself in the mirror and grimaced at the tangled mess of hair on top of my head.

Right on cue, Raina entered the room armed with a comb and ushered me towards the vanity, where she proceeded to tackle my hair. I still have no idea how she managed to do it, but within a matter of minutes, she had combed through the entire length of my long brown hair without so much as pulling on it.

"Beautiful," she said suddenly as she ran the comb through my hair one final time. Glancing at her in the mirror, I smiled shyly.

"Thank you," I replied, hoping that she would understand. _She must not see a whole lot of hair that's not blonde_. I laughed to myself. Back home, my hair was far from enviable. I hadn't even been to the hairdresser's for a trim in months. She smiled back before turning and heading out of the room. She returned carrying the dress and motioned for me to stand up. I winced as I noticed the garment and lowered my gaze to the floor.

"I don't think that I will be able to wear that," I eyed the dress skeptically, and Raina cocked her head to the side, trying to figure out my words. Pursing my lips, I reached out and accepted the dress, before holding it up in front of me, hoping that she would understand. Luckily, she caught on quickly and seemed to blush, embarrassed that she had not noticed sooner. I gave her a small smile, doubtful that she would be able to find anything that would fit me properly. It wasn't that I was fat, but I did have a few too many pounds on me, and I definitely wasn't as lithe as the elves around me. My bust was bigger than the female elves, at least all of the ones that I had seen or read about. I had wider hips and thighs as well, though those weren't really too much of a problem considering the fact that all of the women here most likely wore dresses.

Raina was back in the bathroom quicker than I expected, and she carried a light blue dress folded in her arms. I eyed the bundle skeptically as she unfolded it and handed it to me, before making her way out of the room to let me get dressed.

"Guess there's no harm done in trying," I said quietly to myself as I stepped into the dress. The fabric was soft, and to my amazement had a fairly elastic feel to it. Sliding it up and over my shoulders, I looked at myself in the mirror and was surprised when I didn't look horrendous in the garment. Despite the fact that it could have fit better around my chest, it was still pretty comfortable thanks to the soft, stretchy fabric. I pursed my lips and nodded in approval, just glad that the dress fit me at all.

Though it was simple by elvish standards, I had not worn a dress so fancy since my grade twelve prom a year ago. Just as I was about to attempt to lace up the back of the dress on my own, Raina hurried in and did it for me. Once it was tied up, I took a deep breath, trying to get used to the corset around my waist. _This is going to take some getting used to,_ I sighed.

"Thank you," I turned to Raina and smiled, sincerely thankful that she had helped me with so much already this morning. Giving her signature smile, she bowed her head and gestured towards the door to the flet.

"Haldir is here for you," she spoke hesitantly, clearly repeating the words she had been instructed to tell me. I chuckled lightly and thanked her again before making my way out into the entrance to the flet. Haldir was waiting silently by the door. When he saw me, the corners of his mouth turned up for a moment in welcome, before his lips went flat again.

"Good morning, Lady Christa," he spoke warmly, yet with a clear air of business. "I am here to show you to the Lady Galadriel. She has requested your presence immediately."

Extending his arm, I hesitated before realising that I was supposed to be looping my arm through his. _I'm a terrible lady,_ I laughed to myself in my head as I quickly took a hold of his arm and he led me out and back towards Lady Galadriel's chambers. I shivered as his words echoed in my mind. Though Galadriel had told me not to fear her, I was still very much intimidated by the fact that she wished to speak with me so urgently. As we approached her flet, I closed my eyes for a moment and attempted to calm myself. Walking up to the door, Haldir pushed it open and gestured for me to enter first. Removing my arm from his, I entered the room.

Lady Galadriel was standing in the middle of the room, her silver dress spread about the floor, her whole being seeming to sparkle and twinkle, even in the daylight that filtered through the windows.

"Good morning, Lady Christa."

"Good morning, my Lady," I replied, curtseying slightly. The action felt extremely awkward, but because I was wearing the dress, it would have felt even more wrong not to curtsey. Galadriel smiled and her eyes shone, though I could tell that she was eyeing me with curiosity.

"I should like to take a walk. Would you accompany me to the gardens?" She spoke after a moment, still smiling.

"I would love to," I said, smiling nervously. I knew where she was taking me. She was taking me to look into the mirror. I felt myself tremble, but I couldn't tell if it was out of fear or anticipation. The mirror could tell me why I was here. It could tell me any number of different outcomes of my being here... Galadriel's eyes darkened and I knew that she was hearing my thoughts. I knew it was only a matter of time before I would have to tell her the truth. I would just have to hope that she would believe me.

* * *

 _Here it is, the second chapter already! I hope that you guys are enjoying the story so far. I have a couple of followers! *Does a happy dance* Please review and let me know what you think so far!_

 _-Eru_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hello everyone! Just a quick than you to everyone who's read so far, and for those of you who have taken the time to leave a review! Hope you all enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

 **Chapter 3:**

Galadriel was quiet as we made our way down the stairs towards the garden. Though neither of us were speaking, I could feel her presence in my mind, trying to figure me out before the mirror could tell her. I liked to think of it as some kind of game, her trying to figure out how and why I was here without the help of her mirror. Though I knew that she was going to find out all about me in just a matter of minutes, for some reason I still willed myself to shut her out, to hide all of my secrets for as long as I could. _I don't even really know how I got here anyways,_ I reminded myself.

We soon reached the bottom of the staircase, and I stepped off onto the cool grass. Though I was wearing a pair of thin slippers that I had been given this morning, I could still feel the morning dew as the long blades of grass brushed against my ankles. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, surprised to feel my body instantly relaxing as I breathed in the fresh forest air. I could practically feel the magic around me, something that I had not noticed until now. The tension in my muscles had disappeared by the time we arrived at the mirror of Galadriel, though my legs had begun to wobble as I caught sight of the silver basin.

Stopping as she arrived beside the mirror, Galadriel picked up in her hand a pitcher and filled it in the nearby stream, before slowly emptying it into the basin that rested on top of the thick pillar in the centre of the small clearing. Taking a deep breath, I glanced up and met Galadriel's eyes, knowing that she did not feel the need to explain the mirror. She could tell that I already knew about it. Taking an uncertain step forwards, Galadriel gave me a small smile, her eyes shining in encouragement before she shifted her gaze back towards the water, her eyes somber once again. My feet covered the rest of the small distance in a matter of seconds, and before I knew it I was staring down into the dark, shallow pool.

My heart began to race as Galadriel leaned down and gently blew on the water, sending ripples across its calm surface, before it quickly smoothed over once again, as smooth as glass. Suddenly, the surface began to quiver, droplets of water rising and bouncing just above the basin. The black water instantly turned to a brilliant white, and I had to blink hard, caught off guard. In that instant, I felt as if I was no longer standing in front of the mirror, but rather inside of it, surrounded by white light.

I looked around, my pulse racing as I wondered what was going on. Before me, three figures slowly seemed to materialise from the light. Two of them had silver hair that glimmered in the bright light around them. The third had hair as black as the night sky which sparkled with the light of the stars. Their very beings seemed to emit an indescribable beauty. Surprisingly, I felt no fear as I stood before these three godly beings, only curiosity and wonder. Quickly, my surroundings started to become visible, and I was soon standing in a garden much like the one that I had just been standing in with Galadriel, and yet different all the same.

"Welcome, child of Ilúvatar, to the gardens of Lórien," the first, a woman, spoke up suddenly as I began to be able to pick out the details of the three beings in front of me. She wore a gown of silver and gold, which sparkled as she moved towards me. I stood silent, unable to form words. "I am Varda, the Queen of the Valar and of the stars. This is Irmo, the Lord of Dreams, Visions, and Desires," she continued, gesturing to the one with black hair, who I now realised to be a man, or at least a male being of some sort, for I now came to realise that I was standing before three of the Valar. "And this is Estë, wife of Irmo," she added, gesturing now to the third and final Vala that stood before me, who smiled, her eyes warm and reassuring.

"You are standing in my gardens, you may be at ease here," Irmo spoke now, his voice deep and as smooth as silk. With his words, the last of my uncertainty left my body, and I felt comfortable with these strangers.

"Why am I here?" I asked once I was able to find my voice. The three Valar smiled at me, each seeming to be deep in thought.

"You are here because I brought you here," Irmo spoke up after a few moments of silence. I stood, waiting expectantly for more of an explanation, but none came from him. Instead, Estë took another step towards me, now only a foot or so in front of me.

"I could feel your pain from these gardens, and I could not sleep knowing that a child of Eru was experiencing such deep sadness," Estë said, her voice seeming to penetrate my very soul.

"So why am I suddenly in Middle Earth? How do I get home?" I pressed my question further, feeling my desire to know the whole story growing with every word they spoke. The three only smiled again.

"Many surprises wait for you back on Middle Earth," Varda spoke next, her eyes twinkling.

As I stared at the three Valar in confusion, I suddenly felt the world around me begin to shift and fade away, the light dying out. Desperate for a better explanation, I opened my mouth to speak, but was silenced by some desire of Varda. As the scene quickly dissolved around me, the last thing I was able to make out was the reassuring gaze of Estë.

"Do not stray from the path which has been laid before you," I heard the voice of Varda say as she faded away. As quickly as it had appeared, it was all gone, and I found myself staring once again into the black mirror, my dumbfounded reflection staring back at me. Looking away from the mirror, I turned quickly to the Lady Galadriel, who appeared equally perplexed.

"Never before has the mirror been used to speak with the Valar. I never thought it possible until this day," she said, staring in awe at the silver basin before her. Before I had a chance to speak, she turned to face me. "And never before has the Valar chosen to transport anyone from one world to another. The world is truly changing." She stepped towards me and placed one hand on my cheek, looking deep into my eyes as if to uncover some secret that I was hiding from her. With my guard down, she was already inside my head. I could feel her presence, not at all forceful, but gentle and curious.

"I still don't understand why I'm here," I said, resisting the urge to whimper like a child. "I dreamed that I was in these woods, but I never woke up," I said, and Galadriel nodded, already knowing my story now that I had let her into my mind. _Only, I did wake up. Just not in the right place._

"The Lord of Dreams intended for you to wake here, and the Valar know far more than you or I could ever hope to know," Galadriel said in reply to my thoughts. I frowned as I digested this new information, and finally turned from the basin as Lady Galadriel lowered her hand, my thoughts troubled despite the magic of the woods around me. From behind me, I heard Galadriel begin to empty the basin back into the stream.

"With time, you will come to learn all there is to learn, not only about this new world, but about yourself."

I closed my eyes as her words sank in. It looked like I wasn't going be finding a way home any time soon, not with the Valar so sure that this would all be a good change for me. Frustrated and mentally exhausted, I left Galadriel and the mirror behind me, heading back up to my flet, where I would be able to be alone with my thoughts for a while.

"Do not hide from your troubles, child," I heard Galadriel say from behind me. I furrowed my brows in frustration and kept walking, knowing that all I wanted right now was to be alone.

As soon as I was outside of the gardens, I threw myself into a run, not caring that elves stopped and stared at me as I passed them. I flew up the stairs as fast as I could go, only stopping once I had reached the flet below my own. Panting, I trudged up the last flight of steps and dragged myself to my flet, where I sat down in the chair, holding my face in my hands as I tried not to cry.

"I'm stuck here!" I let my emotions go, not caring anymore if anyone heard my cries from outside. I had learned how I had gotten here, and why I was here, but in doing so I had only managed to get even more confused. Opening my eyes, I lowered my hands and stared down at the scars on my arms, remembering how I had felt every time I had slid the razor along my pale skin. I shook my head fiercely at the thought, remembering Estë's eyes as she had faded away. "I cannot hurt myself, no matter what happens." _I stopped cutting, and I'm not about to start doing it again._

I was startled from my thoughts by a knock on my door, and quickly reached up to wipe the tears from my face. Pulling myself up from the chair, I took several deep breaths, trying to steady my sobs as I made my way to the door. Turning the handle, I pulled the door open to find Haldir.

"Lady Galadriel sent me to ask if everything is all right," he said, his eyes shifting slightly, obviously not comfortable with such personal matters. I sighed and lowered my gaze, hating to trouble him with my problems.

"No, but there's nothing that anyone can do to help me," I replied, stifling a sob that had risen in my throat as I forced myself to put on a sad smile. I could tell that my words had piqued his interest.

"She tells me that you were not lying yesterday. That you come from a land unknown to her," he ventured. Though he was doing a good job of keeping straight face, I could tell that he was dying to know more about my story. Not seeing any reason to hide it, I decided that I might as well take advantage of the one other person here other than Galadriel and Celeborn who seemed to be able to talk with me.

"I do, a land called Earth. I live in a place called Canada, and there are no elves or dwarves or magical creatures. Only men," I said, feeling silly about how I had described my world to him. I wasn't going to tell him that I came from a completely different dimension, I didn't want to make him wary of me. To my surprise, he seemed to take in this new information pretty easily.

"A land of only men does not seem unlikely," he stated, thoughtful. "Do your people have much knowledge of Middle Earth?"

I nodded my head, hesitant to say much on the topic, but in his eyes I could see his desire to know more. Pursing my lips, I gestured out the door.

"Perhaps we should go for a walk, and I'll tell you more about myself and my people." Haldir nodded and started off as I followed, closing the door behind me. Though I would have much rather stayed inside, I figured that standing at the door chatting was kind of weird.

"Do you speak only Westron in your land?" He asked as soon as we had walked a short distance. We began to descend the first flight of stairs, heading in a direction that I hadn't gone yet.

"No, but we do not speak any of the languages known here. And Westron, as it is called here, is called English. It is my first language, but I also speak French," I said, settling in to the conversation. Though it made me sad to think about my home, it felt good to be able to talk about it. "My land has many regions, too many for me to name. There are almost as many languages and dialects as there are places." I paused, wondering if Haldir would question me further on the matter, or if I should continue on to something else.

"The technology in my land is also quite… Advanced compared to Middle earth," I carried on to another topic, however I did not want to go into too much detail on the matter. Cars and electricity would probably freak him out a little too much.

"We do not fight with swords, or bows. Instead we use different weapons, powered by powdered fire," I laughed at myself as the words left my mouth. "But since the evils of Middle earth have not ventured to Earth, we instead use them to wage war against the different regions. Just like the men here, the people on Earth desire power, and some will stop at nothing to get it. There have been many wars on Earth, some for obtaining land and resources, and some due to religion. Another thing that you should know about Earth is that not everyone who lives there believes in God. God is just one of the names that he is called, and he is our equivalent to Eru. Some people interpret God's word in different fashions, and because of this, they fight with each other." I stopped there, not wanting to bore him with the troubles of men, for I knew already that the elves did not often mess with their problems anymore.

"And do you believe in him?" Haldir asked after a moment's hesitation. I smiled as I realised that he was afraid of being nosy.

"Yes, I do. Some people dedicate their entire lives to him, doing their best to never ever go against his word. Though I try my best, there are some rules that I cannot help but break. I like to think that I am a good person, but I know that there are people out there who are far more dedicated than I am," I paused. "You don't have to worry about offending me. You can ask me anything. It feels good to talk about home," I said, looking over at him as we reached the bottom of the stairs and stepped into the grass. I saw him glance down towards my arms and was readying myself for his question before he even asked it.

"Who gave you those scars?"

I lowered my own gaze down to my arms and took a deep breath, hoping that he would understand.

"I did." I saw the look of confusion flash across his face as he tried to comprehend why I would purposefully hurt myself. "It's hard to explain, and I get it if you don't understand. I did it because I was very angry with myself, and cutting my arms was a way to distract myself from the emotional pain that I was feeling. I guess you could say that I was trying to release the tension by cutting myself." I took a deep breath to steady myself as I finished explaining. Though it had been a long while since I had stopped self-harming, it was still hard to talk about it, or even think about it.

"You should not hurt yourself," he stated after a moment of silence. I felt like laughing. _Oh, if only I could tell you how many times I heard that._ "I hope that you do not feel the need to do it again."

"I have not cut for a long time now, and I don't plan on doing it again if I can help it."

We walked in silence for a little while, and I listened to the distant sounds of laughter and friendly voices that were growing louder with every step. Deciding that I didn't want to venture too near to any of the other elves just yet, I stopped walking and looked up as Haldir stopped and turned around to look at me quizzically.

"I don't really want to be around too many elves yet," I said quietly, hoping that he wouldn't take it personally. I just didn't feel like being stared at today.

"Why not?" Haldir asked, coming to stand in front of me. I shook my head.

"I don't fit in here, and I know that they will stare at me. I don't like being watched," I said, somewhat embarrassed. Haldir smiled, the first genuine smile that I had seen on his face. I cocked an eyebrow, wanting to know why my discomfort was making him smile.

"They fear you," he said, his voice low. _It's not like anyone can understand what you're saying,_ I thought.

"Why? I'm not going to hurt them, even if I could."

"They have heard about how my brothers' patrol found you in the woods. About how you manipulated the sun. They think you a witch," he said, almost laughing as he spoke the last word. I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"I fail to see how that's funny," I said in response. _Honestly, how could this day get any worse? Now everyone thinks that I'm a witch._ When he noticed that I didn't find the matter funny, his expression evened out again and he looked away slightly.

"I wouldn't worry too much if I were you. They will soon come to realise that you are just a simple mortal, not a threat at all." After another moment of silence between the two of us, I decided that I was going to go and have some time for myself.

"Well, I'm going to go back to my flet. It was nice chatting with you," I said with a small smile. He nodded his farewell and I turned on my heel. But before I left, a thought popped into my mind.

"Haldir," I said, turning back around in a complete circle. He lifted his chin in question. "Could you teach me how to speak Sindarin? I think that it would help, even if I only learned a little." My question brought a smile to his mouth.

"Certainly, Lady Christa. Though do not expect to learn quickly. Sindarin is a language very different from Westron." He smirked and I smiled wide at his expression, feeling for the first time in some years that I had found someone who I could become friends with.

"Thanks, Haldir!" I said before turning and continuing on my way. Despite the day's events, I couldn't help but feel excited at this new development. _I'm going to learn Sindarin!_

* * *

 _So that's it for this chapter, guys! Sorry that it's a little bit shorter than the other two, hopefully the next one will be up soon and will be longer. Hopefully you all enjoyed this chapter, and that my portrayal of the three Valar that made appearances did them justice! I wanted to make the encounter vague, so hopefully it didn't give away too much in terms of why Christa is in Middle Earth. Btw, the mirror did not transport her physically to Irmo's gardens, she was just there in spirit._

 _Please remember to review and let me know what you think!_

 _-Eru_


	4. Chapter 4

_Before this chapter I would just like to mention the passing of Sir Christopher Lee. He was such an amazing man not just because he was still be acting at the time of his death at age 93, but also because of his many contributions to charities and his amazing, humble personality. His performances as Saruman in The LotR trilogy and The Hobbit, and also as Count Dooku in the Star Wars movies will always be some of my favourites. I still cannot believe the news. Rest in peace._

 _Thanks to everyone who has been leaving reviews for me to read! Hopefully you all enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

 **Chapter 4:**

"I… eneth nîn Christa" I wrinkled my brows as I tried to get the pronunciation right. For a rather simple sentence, I was having a hard time remembering how to say each word. Haldir nodded as he sat with his chin propped in his hands.

"I think that should suffice. Now that you are able to ask for someone's name, and give your own name, I think you had better learn how to ask for things."

I groaned inwardly, my brain already fried after only an hour of lessons. At this Haldir gave me a look, one brow raised.

"If you would rather we meet again tomorrow, we can stop for today," he suggested, lifting his head from his hands and sitting back in his chair. I shook my head, determined to cram at least a little bit more into my head.

"If I'm going to learn this language before I die, I need to be persistent," I laughed slightly.

And so Haldir dove right into the next lesson. Thankfully, he was proving to be a fairly patient teacher, something that I had not expected from him. _I suppose he's been around for a while, it probably doesn't even feel like it's taking me so long._ I managed to keep at the lessons for nearly another two hours, and learnt how to ask for directions, as well as a few singular words for common objects and places. After running through everything that I had been taught without completely butchering the words, I leaned forward until my head was resting on the table in front of me and sighed, feeling the beginnings of a headache. Haldir's chair was pushed along the wooden floor and I soon felt his hand on my back, giving me a firm pat.

"You've learned a lot today. Hopefully you remember it tomorrow." I sat up as he laughed, resisting the urge to stick out my tongue.

The past couple of days had been busy with me trying to get used to this new style of life. Back home, wearing long dresses and behaving like a lady hadn't exactly been my forte, and the language barrier certainly didn't help. Despite the matter, I had been able to get to know Raina a little better through pictures and single words. I now knew that she had been working for Lady Galadriel for many years as her handmaiden. She had not needed to learn any of the common tongue, since she only ever had dealings with other elves of her city. She was proving to be a kind and patient friend, and every morning I looked forward to having her come in, if only for the female company that she offered.

"I will see you tomorrow," Haldir said to me in Sindarin as he lifted his hand from my back and made his way out of my flet.

"Novaer," I replied as I raised my head and grinned at him, enjoying being able to converse at least a little in his first language. He smiled back before disappearing from the door and closing it behind him silently.

"Now what to do…" I said thoughtfully as I leaned back in my chair. It had been some time since I had been able to enjoy some time for myself, and now that the opportunity was before me, I had no idea what to do with it. Suddenly, a thought popped into my mind. I was up, quickly pushing myself out of the wooden chair and heading for the closet. Raina had been kind enough to help size me for some clothes that would fit me correctly. Though they mostly consisted of dresses and skirts, she had also ordered a tunic for me after I had asked her for one. Eager to rid myself of the dress I was wearing, I pulled it over my head and tossed it onto my bed before reaching into the closet and pulling out a neatly folded stack of clothes.

After putting on the white undershirt that came with the tunic, I unfolded the light blue fabric and pulled it on over my arms before doing up the silver buttons that ran down the front of the garment. Next came the silver breeches, which pulled on easily since they had a certain amount of stretch to them, and then finally the pair of grey leather boots. Once I had laced them up, I walked into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror, smiling gleefully.

"Man, I always wanted to do a Lord of the Rings cosplay… I never thought I would be wearing anything so… authentic!" I found myself giggling, momentarily lost in the pure realisation that I was living my dream. _Other than the fact that I have no idea how to get home,_ my rational side chided, forcing my face to fall. I didn't allow my spirits to fall, however, and after one final check to make sure that I was wearing everything correctly, I hurried out my door and down the stairs, not exactly sure if I would be able to find what I was looking for.

My boots padded softly across the grass as I hopped down from the final two steps. Once I was walking across the clearing, I had to decide which way I was going to head first. Pursing my lips, I decided to just keep walking in a straight line, figuring I had no knowledge of the city to use to my advantage.

I soon reached the edge of what seemed to be a marketplace. I could hear the chatter of many voices through the trees, as well as many other noises. Hoping that no one would take much notice of me, I stepped out from behind the last line of trees and into the sunny clearing. Feeling the sun on my skin was wonderful, but it was something that I hadn't even noticed was missing until now.

My feet met the fine gravel of a road, and I followed it into the heart of the market. Elves strode past me, their arms laden with everything from fresh fruits to fabrics to newly crafted weapons. I breathed deeply, inhaling the lovely aromas of bakes goods, hearty stews, ripe fruits, and fresh cut flowers. A smile danced on my lips as I realised that I was able to pick out the odd word here and there, not just from the conversations around me, but also by reading some of the signs. _It's a start!_ I thought to myself happily. I passed dozens of stands and small buildings, taking a moment to check each one out while making sure that I didn't seem to be lurking. I was so engrossed in the cheerful atmosphere that I didn't even notice the looks that I was getting as I strode through the market.

I was nearing the far end of the market when a female elf caught my attention. She was standing talking with a male elf, and every so often they would glance my way. I got an uncomfortable feeling that I was being talked about, but kept walking towards them, heading for the forest path that I could see from where I was. As I passed them, I caught one word before disappearing into the trees once again.

"Tawariell."

Knitting my eyebrows, I carried on down the path and away from the voices. Though I had no idea why, I couldn't shake the feeling that they had been talking about me.

"I'll have to ask Haldir what 'Tawariell' means," I muttered, quietly enough so that no one would hear me.

Casting the thought aside, I lifted my chin and stared intently down the path, curious as to where I would end up. The path didn't seem like it would take too long to reach the other end, and if I didn't find what I was looking for, then I would just walk back and keep searching. Picking up my pace, I picked my way down the path before emerging into another clearing. I grinned wide as I caught sight of what I had been so desperately searching for since I had set out.

Across the clearing, I could see a large wooden building, its walls dotted with many open windows. The open fields that surrounded it were fenced in, their white posts gleaming in the afternoon sunlight. I nearly danced as I watched several horses trotting across the field, their eyes trained in my direction as they curiously surveyed me. Unable to contain my joy, I practically skipped across the field and stopped at the fence, thrilled when the small group of ponies trotted over to meet me. Reaching out my palm, I laughed as they took turns sniffing me, their whiskers tickling my skin as they searched for treats.

"I'm sorry, guys. I don't have anything to give you," I said, disappointed that I had not thought to try and find anything for them. "Tell you what, I'll bring something for you all next time," I said, resolving to save any horse-friendly fruits from my meals for them.

"Le suilon," I jumped as a voice carried across the meadow, withdrawing my hand from the pasture, fearing that I had been caught doing something that I shouldn't have been doing. I turned to see a male elf striding across the grass towards me, his face inquisitive. I searched my brain, desperately trying to remember the proper ways to greet someone in Sindarin.

"Uh… Mae l'ovannen," I replied after a slight hesitation, hoping that I had at least said it right. The elf smiled as he stopped and leaned against the fence not far from me. One of the horses, a tall bay, stretched his neck over the rail and gently lipped at the elf's ear playfully.

"Nîdh! Eleniel, ego!" the elf exclaimed suddenly, raising a hand to gently swat away the horse, who had apparently gotten a little bit too friendly with his teeth. Supressing a giggle, I watched as the horse tossed its head and snorted playfully before turning and cantering towards where the rest of the horses had started to graze. It was definitely a refreshing change to see one of these seemingly perfect people losing their temper. The elf checked his ear before glancing back towards me, bowing his head slightly as he introduced himself. "Im Hérion eston. A len?"

"I eneth nîn Christa," I replied, swiftly this time. _Haldir better be happy, I didn't know there was going to be a test today…_ I thought to myself and smiled. Hérion smiled too, but before he could speak again, I spoke up first. "Ú-bedin edhellen… Well, much," I said awkwardly. Haldir had taught me how to say that I spoke no elvish, but to say that now would have been a lie. _He probably won't even understand that, it was probably useless. Ugh._ To my relief, the elf laughed lightly, his eyes friendly.

"Not to worry child, I could tell from the moment you first spoke that you knew little of the language," I blushed, embarrassed that my lack of knowledge had been so obvious. Seeing my discomfort, he put a hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "You will learn, in time. Now, I take it you have a soft spot for horses?" I nodded, my expression lifting hopefully. "Well then, Tolo ar nîn, I will show you around the stables."

On first glance, I had not been expecting much more from these stables than I had been used to back home. I was soon proven wrong, however, as we stepped through the barn door. Down the centre of the building was a wide aisle, its cobblestone floors swept pristine. Down either side of the aisle were magnificent stalls, all built out of a richly stained hardwood. The ceilings were built high and lofty, with many glass windows set between the beams. At the back of the building I could see an open stairway which led to a second level, which appeared to be a hay loft of sorts. The afternoon breeze floated through the space, rustling my hair gently as I breathed in the familiar scents of leather and hay. Though I was over the moon, I also felt a twinge of homesickness as the familiarity of the stables hit me.

"You are the child they found in the woods a few days ago, I take it? It is not often we see mortals here. In fact, I do believe it has been a few decades since any have visited with us," I was brought back to the present and nodded slowly as we walked through the stables, my lips slightly parted in disbelief. _No wonder my welcome was so rude._

"There are those who believe you capable of harnessing great powers," he added after a moment. I couldn't hold back the laugh that escaped my lips and I quickly raised my hand to cover my mouth. "They call you Tawariell, the girl of the forest. They say that you can control the minds of those who speak to you, as well as the nature around you. They say you are one of the Maiar, come to Middle Earth to oversee a great prophecy," he stopped and turned to glance down at me, his eyes twinkling. "I never believed any of it, and now that you are here in front of me, I know that you are no more than a mortal girl. Harmless," he finished with a chuckle.

I didn't reply for a few moments as his words sunk in. _The elves think I'm a Maiar? Ha!_ I laughed again to myself. Then a though struck me and I peered up at the elf beside me.

"How do you know that I'm a simple girl? Maybe I am a Maiar," I responded, crossing my arms in front of my chest, though I failed to maintain the look of disapproval and my mouth cracked a smile. Hérion simply smiled at me and shook his head.

"If you were one of the Maiar, I would be able to tell. Although if you truly were one of them, you have picked an excellent guise," at this we both chuckled.

We soon reached the end of the aisle and I realised with disappointment that all of the stalls had been unoccupied. Quickly catching on to my feelings, Hérion guided me out of the stables through a side door and we stepped out onto the grass. On either side of me were white fenced pastures, full of horses that were taller and leaner, clearly bred for athleticism and sturdiness instead of the cute and hardy ponies that I had seen out front. I strolled along beside Hérion, awed by the magnificence of the creatures. Though there were horses of every colour grazing on the lush green grass, most of them were a silvery shade of grey, their dappled coats gleaming in the sunlight. Many of the horses were adults, but as we crested the shallow hill and started down the other side, my eyes caught sight of many much smaller creatures. Unlike their matured counterparts, the foals were kicking up their heels, racing each other across the field. I smiled wide and couldn't help but coo at them as I headed for the fence. Catching sight of their visitors, the herd of tiny horses bounded across the grass to meet me, their little muzzles sniffing at my outstretched palm curiously.

"They're so precious!" I squeaked out, a huge grin plastered on my face. Never in my life had I seen so many foals at the same time. _And they're so gorgeous!_ "Will they all grey out?" I asked, turning briefly to Hérion as I let one very young foal suckle on my thumb. Though most of the horses that I had seen were grey, none of the foals displayed any signs of losing their colour yet. Their coats were a mosaic of bay, chestnut, black, and even a single palomino. I had learned a long time ago that a grey horse is never born grey.

"Aye, all but that one," he nodded, gesturing towards the palomino. "She's a gem, it's been a while since any of our horses threw a foal with any cream."

 _They speak horse here!_ Talk of coat genetics had been the last thing I would have expected in Middle earth. I gently pulled my thumb away from the little bay colt who had started to get frustrated at my thumb's lack of milk and turned my eyes to the palomino filly, who was standing off towards the back of the group. Her little ears pricked forward as she noticed that she had caught my attention.

"She's beautiful. Does she have a name?" I asked, curious to know more about the unique little foal.

"Nay, none of these little guys have been named yet. We typically don't name them until they have reached a year old, since they're names are decided by their mannerisms, their colour, and their abilities. However, we have been affectionately referring to her as Áre, which means 'sunlight' in Quenya, due to her colour."

Reaching out my hand again, I met the filly's eyes and called to her softly, watching as her ears flicked at the sound of her nickname. After a moment, Áre tossed her head slightly and walked towards me, opting to go around the group of rambunctious foals, and met me at the fence off to the side. With a soft snort, she pushed her tiny muzzle gently into my palm before lipping at my hand, hopeful that I might have something for her. Giggling, I reached up and gave her a quick scratch behind her ears. Realising that I had stopped paying them any attention, the rest of the foals were soon racing back across the field towards their mothers, snorting and squealing in excitement. Áre quickly decided that she would rather be playing than investigating, and turned away from me with an excited whinny before kicking up her heels and galloping over to join her friends. I was about to speak again to Hérion about the foals, but his next words had me standing on my head.

"Would you like to go for a ride?"

"Yes, please! I would love to!" I smiled, nodding my head enthusiastically and turned quickly to face him. His lips parted into a smile and he led me quickly down the path back towards the barn. I followed close behind, breaking into a jog for a few steps to keep up with his long stride. I was extremely eager to find out who I would get to ride. We soon reached the last pasture before the stables and pulled up by the gate.

"You've ridden before, I take it?" Hérion asked as his eyes assessed the collection of halters that hung along the fence.

"Oh yes. I used to have my own horse, but I lost him," I said, feeling the familiar pain in my heart as I thought about Eclipse. Hérion gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze and met my eyes. I smiled sadly, pushing the memories from those dark days away, and lifted my chin to watch as Hérion entered the paddock holding a silver rope halter.

Whistling three times, Hérion stood near the gate and I watched, amazed, as one of the horses lifted his its head and came trotting willingly up to where the elf stood. After he had slipped the halter on over the horse's head, he led it out through the gate. I latched it for him as he turned the horse around and held out the lead rope for me to take. I accepted the rope and raised my hand, letting the horse sniff me curiously.

"Her name is Faenelin, which means Silver Star. She's been around for quite some time and is enjoying the life of retirement, but I can tell when she runs around with the younger horses that she misses the activity. I think you two will get along well," Hérion said as I stroked the mare's cheek.

The mare was tall, taller than any horse that I had ridden before, but she was not dauntingly massive. She was relatively lightly build, but I could tell that in her younger years she must have been extremely fit. She was an extremely pale shade of grey, nearly white, and I could easily see why they had chosen to include the word silver in her name. Her brown eyes watched me as I stroked her face, and her delicate ears swiveled causally as she waited to see what she was doing outside of her pasture.

After the introductions, I followed Hérion back inside the stables, where we tied up Faenelin in the aisle and gave her a good grooming. The mare relaxed, clearly enjoying being pampered, and soon was nearly asleep. She woke up as soon as I began to tack her up, for I was so excited to ride that she could feel it in the air around her. Her eyes opened and she lifted her head up, snorting every so often in anticipation. With Hérion's help, I was able to quickly figure out how to secure the tack. Though it was not so different from the English tack that I was used to using at home, it lacked the luxury of having elastics and smooth, rolling buckles. That, on top of the fact that I had not needed to exert my arms in quite a while, meant that it took me a little longer to do up the girth than it normally would have. The bridle slipped on easy, and soon I was leading the grey mare back out into the sunshine, practically bouncing with excitement.

Faenelin pranced around slightly as I put my foot in the stirrup and swung up into the saddle. Sliding my boot into the other stirrup, I adjusted myself in the saddle, getting used to the higher pommel and cantle. Although the saddle was shaped differently, it certainly wasn't uncomfortable, and was clearly meant to make longer rides just a little bit less hard. Shortening the reins, I waited while Hérion mounted up on his horse beside me. Within a moment, he was up and showing me how to ride the elvish horse, which I was relieved to learn was much the same as riding back home.

Once the brief lesson was done, we urged out horses forward into an easy trot and made our way into the woods, following along one of the many trails. Faenelin's gaits were smooth and easy to ride, and I felt like we were floating across the forest floor. Unrestrained by the helmet that I normally wore to go riding, my hair streamed behind me in the wind. It felt odd to not be wearing a helmet, but there wasn't exactly anything I could do about it here. Hérion seemed to notice that I was thinking about something and glanced over at me.

"I normally wear a helmet when I ride, so it just feels weird. That's all," I laughed as we trotted through the mallorn trees, the sunlight streaming through the gaps in the leaves above us.

"A helmet?"

"Yes," I replied, knowing that he was currently picturing me riding around leisurely in a battle helmet. "It doesn't cover my face, just my head. We don't depend on horses for transportation in my land. They're more used for fun. And we do more dangerous things than riding on the trails." I explained, hoping he wouldn't ask me about how we got around if we didn't use horses. When Hérion remained silent, I decided to explain further.

"For example, I used to do something called show jumping with my horse Eclipse. We used to go to competitions were lots of people would jump poles, trying not to knock any of them down, while also holding the fastest time. A lot of people fall off and hit their heads, and before anyone started to wear helmets, a lot of people died from injuries. There are sports that aren't so dangerous, and don't involve jumping obstacles, and there are also sports with even higher risks, because the obstacles are bigger and won't knock down if your horse hits them." I finished, realising that I was shoving a lot of information into poor Hérion's face.

"That certainly is interesting," he smiled as he noticed me glancing in his direction. "If you do not use horses for transportation, I would assume you do not use them for war either?"

"Correct. We used to, but that was many years ago," I nodded, looking back ahead of me between Faenelin's ears.

"Your land is so strange to me, it baffles me that not one person has ever heard tell of it," Hérion added thoughtfully. I looked down at my hands, not sure what to say in response to his observations. As refreshing as it was to speak about my home with someone, it was also tough. Fortunately, before I had a chance to feel too homesick, Hérion suggested we pick up the pace. Lifting my chin, I smiled, eager to feel the mare beneath me as she ran. With a light squeeze from my heels, Faenelin snorted and shot forward into a gallop. For a few seconds, it was just me and Faenelin, shooting along the trail. Hérion soon caught up on his horse, and I found my heart soaring as the wind whipped past me. For a moment I was able to cast aside all of my fears and just live in the moment, laughing as we raced through the trees.

* * *

 _Yay! I'm quite happy with this chapter. I'm sorry that it took a little longer to post than the previous chapters, but it's a little longer so hopefully that makes up for it. I am hoping to get a little bit more action in some time soon. As always, please remember to leave a review and let me know what you think so far! Reviews are my main motivation to post faster ;)_

 _Sindarin Translations:_

 _Novaer – Farewell_

 _I eneth nîn Christa – My name is Christa_

 _Le suilon – I greet you, "greetings"_

 _Mae l'ovannen – well met, another form of "greetings"_

 _Nîdh! Eleniel, ego! – Ouch! Eleniel ("star"), go!_

 _Ú-bedin edhellen – I don't speak elvish_

 _Tolo ar nîn – Come with me_

 _Faen – Silver_

 _Elin - Star_

 _-Eru_


	5. Chapter 5

_Hello everyone! Just a quick note for this chapter: each dialogue sentence that is actually being spoken in Sindarin is marked with an asterisk. After this chapter, all dialogue will be in Sindarin unless otherwise stated, until I indicate otherwise further along in the story. Enjoy!_

* * *

 **Chapter 5:**

I lay awake in my bed, the covers pulled up to my chin in an attempt to ward off the chilly night air. Rolling over onto my side, I let out a long sigh as I readjusted the blankets, tucking them under my shoulders. After a long struggle, I flopped my head back down onto the pillows and stared out my window. Despite that fact that it was closed, the room was not insulated and offered little protection from the damp air outside.

"Leave it to the elves not to consider the needs of us lesser beings," I muttered quietly into my pillow.

I had been trying to sleep since late the night before. I had stayed up much too late, enjoying being able to read some of the books that adorned the book shelf in my room. I had been so engrossed in one about the histories of the elves of Lothlórien that I hadn't noticed how quickly the hours had flown by. I hadn't really been tired when I had crawled into bed, but had decided that I had better get at least a little rest. Unfortunately, I hadn't been able to get a wink of sleep, and now as I stared outside, I noticed in dismay that the trees had begun to shimmer as the sun rose above the mountains.

Groaning, I rolled back over, facing away from the window as the light slowly began to filter through the glass. After several more minutes of squirming around beneath the blankets, I sat up and threw them away. Pulling myself out of bed, I hopped up and dashed towards the closet, where I quickly withdrew a warm cloak and wrapped myself in it over top of my night gown. With a huff, I trod over to the chair in the corner of my room and picked up the book, cracking it open to the page I had marked last night with a piece of hay. Pulling it from between the pages, I laughed despite my exhaustion, remembering how I had come back from the barn one day covered head to toe in the itchy stuff.

Hérion had managed to convince me to help out with bundling up the hay from the last cut of the fall. I had agreed out of pure curiosity. How the elves obtained the hay for their horses had never popped into my mind. As it turned out, it was a lot less interesting and a lot more work than I ever could have imagined. Though all of the cutting had been done days before, Hérion and a handful of other stable hands had banded together to collect and tie up the hay. By the end of the day, I had a lovely sunburn and hay in places I didn't know existed. Luckily, Raina had been able to find me a salve that helped with the sunburn, and I was able to lose the itchy feeling of the sweat and hay with a nice cool bath.

It had now been around three weeks since I had arrived in Lothlórien, and still I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was in Middle Earth. Despite the fact that I had been living in this world for nearly a whole month, I just couldn't come to believe the things that were happening to me. Everything was so real, every smell, every sound… But just being in such a magical place still had me feeling like all of it was a dream. A very, very vivid dream. I had felt the sun on my face, heard the wind in the trees. Hell, I had received a mouth full of dirt just the other day riding Faenelin. But I was still in disbelief.

A soft knock on my door brought me to realise that I hadn't read a single word since I had opened the book. Closing it again, I set it back down on the table and looked over to the door.

"Come in!" I called, smiling as Raina entered carrying a stack of blankets.

"I have brought with me some warmer blankets. The summer nights are leaving us, and lady Galadriel thought that you would be needing these," she said as she lifted up the bundle, peering over top of it at me, noticing that I was wrapped tightly in my cloak. "I'm terribly sorry if you have gotten cold."

"Do not worry, I was not too cold," I lied, shaking my head and smiling as I stood to accept the bundle of sheets. Raina looked relieved as she passed the blankets off to me.

"I will be back momentarily with your breakfast," she replied, hurrying out of the room.

"Actually, Raina, I was thinking that I would join everyone else for breakfast later this morning," I said quickly, catching her before she disappeared. Smiling, she nodded and turned away, closing the door behind her.

Turning my gaze back to the book beside me, I pursed my lips. I wasn't going to be able to read any more until I cleared my head. Pulling myself from the chair, I made my way over to the closet, which I opened and pulled out a lightweight tunic and a pair of breeches. Pulling them on, I quickly ran a brush through my hair and threw it up into a pony tail, tying it swiftly with a thin piece of leather I had acquired the other day from Raina. It had been hard to tie up at first, and she had had to help me, but now I was able to loop it around my hair and knot it securely. Taking a look at myself in the mirror, I stood for a minute, looking over my face. It had been difficult to come to terms that there was no such thing as concealer and foundation in Middle Earth, and I had quickly grown insecure about the dark circles under my eyes that I got when I was stressed out. Though I still missed the comforts of being able to cover them up, I had come to accept that they wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon. Turning on my heel, I slipped on my boots at the door and headed out. I was going for a run.

My breath clung in the chilly air as I made my way quickly down the stairs. Though I had been meaning to start working more on the stairs, I couldn't bring myself to go at a faster pace than a walk, as the possibility of tripping and falling freaked me out way too much. I soon reached the bottom and pushed myself into a jog. Last week, I had decided that I needed to take advantage of the beautiful scenery and had persuaded myself into going for a jog around the city. It had proven too big of a task, as I had ended up walking most of the distance.

I hadn't made it very far, and my breath was already coming in gasps. Furrowing my brow, I pushed through the nagging pain that had started in my calves, thinking back to my high school gym classes. _What was it? Breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth? And I think it was every other step to take a breath? Oh, don't remember._ Despite the lack of my scary, fat gym teacher telling me to "push through the pain", I did manage to drive on as my legs burned. It wasn't until my chest felt as if it would burst at any moment that I allowed myself to stop and have a breather.

"Man, I need to get myself a flask," I said to myself as I leaned up against a tree, gasping for breath and wishing that I had brought some water with me. As soon as my breathing had returned to normal and my legs had stopped feeling like jelly, I carried on along the trail.

By the time I had arrived back at the base of the stairs up to my flet, I felt like collapsing on the ground and having a nap right there in the grass. I had stopped to walk three more times, but had managed to run the rest of the way back after my last walk break. I was pretty proud of myself, although at the moment I felt more like vomiting than being happy. Sluggishly, I almost literally dragged myself up the stairs.

When I did finally reach my flet, I collapsed onto the bed, wiping my hair from my damp forehead. I stayed there like that for who knows how long, until I remembered that I needed to get to breakfast. Peeling myself off of the bed, I plodded to the bathroom and filled the tub, not bothering to warm any water. Stripping quickly, I sunk into the cold water, shivering at first, but eventually getting used to the temperature. I undid my pony tail before relaxing back onto the tub, closing my eyes with a heavy sigh. Luckily, I caught myself before I dozed off, and quickly reached for the bar of soap on the little stand beside me. I raised my leg and began to wash it up, scrubbing the sweat and grim from my skin, when suddenly I noticed something off. Hesitating for a second, I stared at my leg and shook my head before I reached out and wiped the soap away, revealing bare skin underneath. In my hand was a small handful of my leg hair. Grossed out and a little frightened as to why my leg hair was falling out, I continued to rub down my legs, horrified when the hair continued to wash off.

 _Am I sick?_ My brain jumped to the first logical explanation, and I panicked. _What kinds of sicknesses cause hair loss?_ I wracked my brain but the only thing I was able to come up with was syphilis, which I highly doubted I had managed to contract, since the hair loss was the only symptom. Trembling, I quickly finished bathing before I climbed out of the tub. After I had dried myself off and dressed myself, I left my flet, not so eager anymore to be going down to eat.

Even though I had never attended a meal at the hall since I had arrived, I had quickly learned where it was located. Just a short walk down two flights of stairs and across the wide platform, I found the hall, which was already starting to empty out as it was already nearing midmorning. Hoping that I would come across someone I recognised, I crossed the hall and grabbed a plate, scanning the room as I waited in line to serve myself from the buffet at the front of the room.

It didn't take me long to spot Haldir. He quickly spotted me and raised his hand in a gesture of welcome. I returned the wave with a smile and quickly stacked some food on my plate before turning away towards where he was sitting with a small group of other male elves. I recognised only two others in the group. Rúmil and Orophin were seated beside Haldir, and as I approached, Rúmil smiled at me, clearly surprised to see me.

"Mae l'ovannen," I said cheerfully as I joined them at the table, pulling over a chair from an empty table.

"I believe 'mae g'ovannen' would be acceptable now. I think we are past the formalities," Haldir said with a chuckle. I smiled and nodded in understanding as I sat down beside him. Rúmil glanced passed his brother and eyes me curiously.

*"Has Haldir been teaching you Sindarin? _"_ He asked hesitantly, afraid that I wouldn't be able to understand his question. I grinned and nodded enthusiastically. Rúmil's face lit up as he noticed that I could now speak with him.

*"I'm far from fluent," I replied with a laugh, hoping that I had at least worded the sentence correctly. I had been practicing hard with Haldir every day since my first lesson, and took pride in being able to converse with Raina now. I was still self-conscious about speaking Sindarin in public though, because I had a tendency to say my words in the wrong order. My pronunciation left a lot to be desired, but I was slowly getting there. Slowly.

*"I would like to apologize for the way I handled the situation when we found you," another voice drew my attention away from my breakfast and I looked up to meet Orophin's gaze. Smiling shyly, I shook my head.

*"No need to apologize, I know that must have been quite strange." I said, wondering just how many of the elves sitting at the table now had been present to witness my strange antics.

The rest of the meal went by uneventfully, although I couldn't keep my mind off of the strange events from earlier on in the bathtub. As I finished up my eggs, I had run through every possible health problem that I could think of, and eliminated every single one of them. The hair loss was the only thing I was experiencing, it wasn't even like I had been feeling particularly tired lately, aside from during and after my runs. As I swallowed the last bite of my breakfast, I grabbed all of my dishes and stood up to leave.

"See you later?" I asked Haldir as I pushed my chair back in, balancing my plate and glass in my other hand. Haldir smiled and nodded, and in his eye I thought I caught a glimpse of concern. Hoping that he hadn't noticed my troubled silence, I grinned reassuringly before turning away from the table. I dropped my dishes off on the way out, and started to make my way back towards my flet.

Climbing the stairs took longer than usual since my legs were sore from my run. I silently vowed to myself to never take a cold bath after a workout ever again, and trudged up the stairs.

When I finally passed through the door into my flet, I let out a huge sigh. It wasn't even midday yet and it felt as though I had been up for days. Flopping down onto my bed, I kicked off my boots and stared up at the ceiling, wondering if there was anything that I should be doing. When I decided that there was nothing that needed to be taken care of until Haldir showed up for my Sindarin lessons later, I closed my eyes and wished that I had the luxury of the heating pad that I had used for sore muscles back home.

* * *

"Christa?"

I jumped at the sound of my name, accompanied by a firm knock on my door. Blinking hard, I instinctively turned to look for the time but quickly remembered where I was and why I couldn't see my digital clock. The knocking came again and I quickly rolled over and stared at the door, wishing that whoever it was would give up and leave me to my nap.

"Christa, are you in there?"

"Oh crap!" I snapped awake as I recognised the voice on the other side of the door as Haldir's. "Come in!" I called as I quickly sat up and started to fix my hair, which had become disheveled from my tossing and turning during my nap.

"What in the name of Eru where you doing?" Haldir questioned me as the door swung open and he entered, his head tilting off to the side when he noticed my puffy eyes and messy hair.

"Uh, I had a nap," I laughed, slightly embarrassed that I had been caught napping in the middle of the day. Haldir chuckled as well, clearly amused as he watched me smooth down my hair. After a moment, he made his way over to the chair in the corner of the room and sat down, picking up the book that I had left on the table beside him.

"Are you reading this?" he asked me, picking up the book and looking intently at the cover. I nodded as he glanced back over at me, before sitting down across from him at the foot of my bed. "And you are understanding it?" At that question I laughed.

"Yes, for the most part. Like I've told you before, reading is easier for me than speaking. When I see the words in front of me, I have no problems, unless of course I don't know the word. But speaking, I have trouble remembering the right words, I have to think hard." As I finished explaining, Haldir nodded and set the book back down on the table, careful not to displace my makeshift bookmark.

"Very well, we will work on speaking today," he smiled. "From now on, you must do your best to speak to me in Sindarin. No more Westron," he smirked, fully expecting the groan that escaped from my mouth.

* * *

"Haldir, did you know that everyone has been calling me 'Tawariell'?" I asked as I walked down the steps next to him. He turned to me, one eyebrow lifted slightly. We had finished with the lesson a little earlier than normal, and had decided to go for a walk.

"What did I say about Westron?"

I blushed and lowered my gaze, pouting slightly. "It's hard to remember!" Haldir laughed.

*"And yes, I knew this. Did you only just notice?"

*"Yeah, the other week, when I was out at the market, I heard an elleth call me by that name. I wasn't sure at first if she was talking about me, but Hérion told me at the stables that they had been calling me that."

*"And do you mind?"

I shrugged my shoulders, not really sure. I hadn't really thought about it much lately. I had been far too busy spending time at the stables with Faenelin and practicing my Sindarin to spend time brooding over what the rest of the elves thought of me.

*"I suppose not, however I wish that my real name was less… Foreign." I chuckled slightly. No matter how used I was getting to living amongst the elves, my name still made me feel like an outsider. Haldir glanced at me as we reached the bottom of the stairs and started to walk across the grass.

*"What does your name mean?" He questioned, curiously. I pursed my lips, trying to remember exactly what my mom had told me when I had asked the same question several years ago.

*"It means 'follower of Christ', which I suppose would mean something like 'follower of Eru'," I replied. I had always wished for a more interesting meaning for my name. "Though it originates from a word in a very old language called Greek, which meant something like 'chosen one', and I always thought that that was too, uh, dramatic so I just stuck with the more modern definition," I added after thinking about it for another moment, laughing.

"Eruaphadriel," Haldir turned to me after a moment. I looked at him, puzzled before he explained. "That's what your name would be in Sindarin."

"Oh," I said, digesting this new information. "That's too long, I think I'll stick with Christa," I said with a chuckle, slightly disappointed that I didn't like my elvish name. Haldir smiled and nodded in understanding.

*"Do your people put much consideration into the naming of their children?" Haldir asked as we strolled through the woods. All around us the leaves had turned a brilliant shade of gold, shimmering in the sun. I had learned through Raina that I had arrived at the beginning of autumn and that the leaves had only just started to turn day before I had arrived. Though they had been beautiful since I had first laid eyes on them, they were now beyond anything I could have imagined and seemed to be made of real gold, reflecting the sunlight like sequins.

*"Most parents spend many months trying to choose a name, but I don't know how many of them spend their time actually looking into the meanings of those names. Some do, some don't, and it depends. I don't think my parents really bothered to, they just liked the name," I grinned and Haldir nodded.

"The elves tend to put more consideration into the meaning of a name than the name itself," he said with a sideways glance at me. I met his gaze and he looked back towards the path ahead of him. I hoped for a moment that I was going to get the meaning of his name out of him, but he did not continue. I could have asked, but I felt that if he had wanted me to know, he would have told me himself.

We had now reached a more central part of the city, and as we made our way along the gravel path, a couple of young elves popped out from behind the trees and raced in front of us, giggling and squealing as they enjoyed their own little game. They were gone as quickly as they had appeared, running down the path before us and disappearing back into the golden trees. Once they were gone, I let out a laugh, wishing for a moment that I was able to be so young and carefree again. We soon emerged into a clearing that I had not yet explored. The space was treeless, a near perfect circle where the grass grew lush and long. A couple of small buildings dotted the meadow, and benches were placed here and there, surrounded by beautiful gardens of bright flowers. I noticed that the area seemed to be a popular spot, and many families were present, sitting in the grass watching the younger elves play. One of the fathers, I noticed, was dressed in a grey cloak, and as he stood to leave, a young elf ran over to his side and hugged him tightly. The elf ruffled the young boy's hair before sending him back out to play with his friends. At this scene, a thought popped into my head.

"Haldir, you've been in the city for quite a while. Will you be heading back to the borders soon?"

"Aye. I've been meaning to let you know. I will be taking a patrol out for three weeks," he stopped as he watched my face fall. I couldn't help but be sad that he would be gone for so long. After all, he was one of my only friends in the whole world. "You will be just fine," he added with a laugh as he watched me work a smile onto my face. He was right, it wasn't like anything that bad could happen to me here, unless I really went looking for trouble.

* * *

 _So, kind of an abrupt ending, but I couldn't think of another way to end this chapter haha… Hope that you all enjoyed reading this chapter, remember to please leave a review and let me know what you thought! A huge thank you to everyone who had read and reviewed so far, I love you all!_

 _-Eru_


	6. Chapter 6

_Hello everyone! Sorry that this chapter took a little longer than I had originally intended to write! But, better late than never! Enjoy!_

* * *

 **Chapter 6:**

It had been a long morning. Haldir had left the day before, and surprisingly I had been able to keep myself occupied with other things, and the day had passed by pretty smoothly. But today was different. After chatting with Raina for the better part of the morning, I had decided to head down to the market to kill some time. Fiddling with the few gold coins that I was holding in my hand, I smiled. Hérion had insisted on paying me for all the hard work that I had put in helping them with packing and moving the hay. I had assured him that I didn't need anything, that I was being given everything that I could possibly need already, but he had practically shoved the small bag of change into my hands. Now as I strolled through the market, I eyed the many trinkets and interesting things that were being offered for sale. I didn't have much, so I tried not to bother many of the vendors and surveyed their stands from a little ways off.

The loose dress that I was wearing blew softly in the breeze as I stopped to check out a stand that was selling little knickknacks. Normally I would have been wearing my much favoured tunic and leggings, but Raina had convinced me that it was much more ladylike to wear a dress. Deciding to wander over closer to the stand, I approached the building and marveled over the quality of the trinkets. Precious gems and jewelry occupied much of the space on the table, and I fingered the few coins in my palm, opting to turn and continue exploring for something less costly. But before I could leave the stand, the elleth behind the table stopped me.

"You are Tawariell, are you not?" her voice was kind and as I turned back to face her, her soft eyes caught mine. I nodded, suddenly feeling shy at the mention of my elvish nickname. She smiled warmly. "Is there nothing that is to your liking?" she asked me suddenly, gesturing to the many items that she had laid out for sale.

"Ah, it's all very beautiful," I stuttered, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks. "I just don't have much to spend, that's all."

The elleth chuckled lightly as I opened my palm to show her what I had to spend. At first I felt insulted that she was laughing at me, but I quickly realised that it was not a demeaning laugh at all. Turning on her heels, she hurried to the back of the stand, gesturing for me to follow her inside. Figuring that I had little choice in the matter for fear of being rude, I immediately made my way with her to the back of the stand. There, the elleth pulled open a small drawer and withdrew a wooden box.

"This box contains many of my older pieces that I was unable to sell," the elleth explained to me as she turned a latch and popped open the lid. Offering it to me, I took it and gazed inside. Dozens of shiny gems glittered in the sunlight that cascaded through the window beside me. Though most were silver and clear as day, there were also other gems of red, green, blue, and purple. Rings, necklaces, headpieces… I was awed. Frowning, I glanced up at the elleth in confusion.

"Are you sure that I can afford this?" Perhaps she had thought that I had had more in my hand than I actually did. The elleth smiled wide, clearly amused.

"My dear, these are all quite old, as I previously explained. You may chose whatever you like, if you see anything that interests you, of course."

Inwardly, I cringed at her words. _Well, now I feel obligated to buy something…_ One of my biggest weaknesses was the fear of embarrassing other people. Holding the box in one hand, I began to sift through the multitude of jewellery, wishing that I hadn't approached the stand. As I was about to pull a random necklace from the box, a small gem caught my eye. Intrigued, I picked it up between my fingers, finding that it was part of a small hairclip. The gem was the palest of blues, almost silver in colour, and yet it was clear as a cloudless sky. The clip itself appeared to be made of silver, and gleamed in the sunlight. Setting the box down on top of the set of drawers, I held it up to the elleth and smiled.

"How much would it be for this?" I asked, hoping that she wouldn't back down on her offer of anything in the box.

"Three gold pieces for the hair clip," she replied with a bright smile. I dropped the payment into her open palm and slipped the remaining few coins back into the small pouch that I had brought with me. After I had thanked the elleth for her generosity, I exited the building and carried on through the market, admiring the clip while I walked. Several times I nearly bumped into elves who were walking at a slower pace than me, and I quickly decided that I would rather head back up to my flet than wander around the market any longer.

I made the trip back to my flet at a brisk walk, eager for some time alone. I was almost tempted to jog up the stairs, but still my fear of falling held me back at a slower pace. When I finally reached my flet, I sprawled out on my bed and stared at the clip.

"Why do I even like you so much?" I whispered to the piece of jewellery as I examined it. I had never been one for jewels or fancy accessories back home, and I had only worn jewellery for special occasions. Puzzled, I shrugged it off. It was just so pretty. "I guess I just want to fit in," I sighed, melancholy seeping into my heart. After laying on my bed for several minutes, another feeling joined my sadness. A muffled rumble came from my stomach and I couldn't help but laugh. Sitting up in bed, I decided to see what I could do with my hair before heading down to grab some supper.

After many attempts at getting a decent braid into my hair, I finally gave up and settled for a mediocre fishtail, fastening the clip near the beginning of the braid. With one final glance in the mirror, I left my flet and began descending the stairs, on my way to the meal hall.

Thankfully, I was fairly early, and the hall was only about half full when I arrived and grabbed a plate. After filling my plate with every food that I was willing to try, I turned and quickly decided that I wanted to sit alone. Though I was beginning to feel a bit braver lately, I still wasn't to the point of walking over to a random group of elves and introducing myself. Pulling out the chair, I sat down and began to eat. Though I had been a picky eater back home, I had forced myself to try new foods. Not like I really had much choice in the matter, it wasn't as if I was going to be eating any French fries or chicken tenders anytime soon. Much to my surprise, I had taken a particular interest in the many different kinds of salads and fruits that the elves were so fond of here in Lothlórien. Through my own observations, I had confirmed with dismay the common belief that the elves did not eat meat. After I had asked Haldir about it, he had explained that the elves of Mirkwood ate meat, while their kin in Lothlórien and Imladris did not.

I wolfed down my meal, thankful that for once I neither had to worry about being polite around company, or listen to Raina scolding me for being unladylike. After having seconds, I deposited my dirty plates and returned quietly to my flet, where I immersed myself in my book until I fell asleep.

Luckily, the next two weeks flew by. I managed to keep myself occupied, and had now established a daily schedule that I had gotten used to following. In the mornings, I would heave myself out of bed and go for a run around the city. With each day that passed, I could feel that the exercise was taking less and less of a toll on my body. After my run, I would return to my flet and bathe. Following my bath, I would dress and head down for breakfast. Raina had all but stopped showing up in the mornings, and only came when she knew that I would be needing fresh bedsheets or clean clothes. This suited me just fine, as I would normally see her down at the meal hall. My mornings from there on were all pretty different. Some mornings I would read, others I would explore the city. I still had not yet gotten over my shyness, and as such had not met many other elves other than Hérion. After lunch, I would spend the better part of the afternoon and early evening at the stables, helping out with whatever Hérion needed me to do. He would often let me ride Faenelin, and the mare had pretty much become my own. I was almost always late for supper, on the evenings that I even managed to make it there at all. That didn't matter so much to me anyways, since if I did miss it, Raina would trouble herself to find me some food and bring it to me.

So far, today had progressed just as the days before it had. As I untied my braid and settled into the bathtub, I closed my eyes, letting the steamy water melt away all of my troubles. My eyes opened a few moments later as I felt the sun shift, its rays landing on my closed eyelids. Staring forwards at the opened window, I started awkwardly, sinking deeper under the water on impulse. Though all I could see from the bathroom window were empty trees, I couldn't help but feel like there could be anyone out there, and normally remembered to close the shutters before undressing. _Elven eyesight and all._ With a careful peek outside, I quickly clambered out of the tub and closed the wooden panels. Leaving them open only a crack, I quickly retreated from the chilly air back into the warm water.

It didn't take me long to wash up, as I was eager to head down for breakfast. I had just started to feel the pangs of hunger deep in my stomach. Giving my hair one last rinse, I wrung it out and wrapped it in a towel, before reluctantly pulling myself from the water. After drying off, I wrapped the towel around myself and sat down in front of the mirror. Quickly pulling the comb through my hair, I marvelled at how healthy it was looking despite the lack on conditioner. Laying the comb down on the table, I ran my fingers through it, amazed at how smooth it felt. Smiling, I quickly pulled it into a simple braid and tied it off, securing the clip near the base of my neck. Wearing the pin had become a habit for me, as it was versatile enough to wear with my tunic or a dress.

Deciding what to wear was an easy decision. Pushing aside the dresses that I had been living in for the past two weeks, I quickly grabbed my favourite tunic and leggings. After pulling on the undergarments that I had requested for some support, I pulled the silky tunic over top of my head and did up the top buttons, before pulling on the leggings. Furrowing my brow slightly in confusion, I felt the leggings slip slightly down my hips, baggy. Raising a brow, I pulled them up and marched into the bathroom to examine myself in the mirror. Removing the tunic and leggings, I stood in my undershirt and underwear, staring at my reflection. Only, it was a body that I had not seen in a long while. A smile crept its way slowly onto my lips and I leaned in closer, inspecting myself.

Instead of the loose, flabby thighs that I had grown accustomed to hating, the cellulite had vanished, and already I could feel that the muscles in my legs had firmed. _It's only been three weeks since I started running,_ I thought to myself, thought I most certainly was not complaining. _I guess this elvish diet is probably helping a fair bit too._ As I examined my body further, I suddenly noticed one other thing.

"They're… Gone," I whispered in shock as I took a seat on the vanity stool and stared at my thighs once again. The many silver and red stretch marks that had covered my legs had disappeared. I found myself unable to think straight as I digested this new information. "How?" I squeaked out, starting to feel uncomfortable with the changes that I was experiencing. Normally, I would have rejoiced. How many times had I dreamed of them magically vanishing? But this, this was just getting way too weird for me. Not wanting to dwell on it a moment longer, I sprang up and quickly dressed as best I could considering my clothes had become too big for me. Using some of my leather hair ties, I fashioned a makeshift belt to hold my breeches up and decided that would have to do. As I pulled on my cloak, a thought struck me.

Hesitantly, I rolled up my left sleeve and stared in shock at my arm. My scars were gone. Every single one of them. Instead of the red lines, my skin was smooth and polished, not a single trace of abuse left on my porcelain skin. Dropping the cloak to the floor, I felt myself start to panic. My breath came in rapid gulps and my mind was reeling. I felt sick. Rushing to the bathroom, I made it to my chamber pot just in time to vomit into it, tears stinging my eyes.

"What the Hell is going on?" I choked as I began to sob, trying to rid my mouth of the horrid acidic taste as I spat into the pot. Sitting up, I grabbed a sheet of tissue from beside the chamber pot and wiped off my mouth. "I need air," I said out loud to myself, feeling quite like Bilbo must have felt after hearing all about Smaug before his adventure. Pulling myself up off of the floor, I ran from my felt, grabbing my cloak on the way out. Wrapping myself up quickly, I ran down the stairs, completely ignoring my fear of falling.

My lungs were burning by the time I had reached the stables. Breakfast forgotten, I bridled Faenelin as quickly as my shaking fingers would allow it, and no sooner had I led her outside I had hoped on. We were soon flying across the grass and into the trees. The brisk autumn air whipped my face, tears streaking my pale cheeks. Faenelin ran only as long as she wanted to, before slowing to a trot at her own will. At this I finally came to my senses, clinging to the mare's mane so tightly that my knuckles turned white. Closing my eyes, I halted the mare and sank down into her neck, letting myself cry freely, knowing that no one was around to hear me.

I stayed like that for an immeasurable amount of time. Faenelin would occasionally twist her head around to nudge my boot with a gentle nicker, concerned as I sat on her back crying. Eventually, I sat up and stroked her neck reassuringly, more for her sake than my own. My tears all spent, I stared ahead into the trees, trying to make sense of everything that had happened over the past 5 weeks.

"I'm in Lothlórien… Middle Earth," I said out loud. My voice was dry and raspy, and Faenelin's ears twitched as I spoke. "I've been here for over a month. My body hair has fallen out. I've lost weight, and now..." the words hitched in my throat. "My scars are gone." I sat quietly then for a long moment, pondering these facts inside my head.

A sudden noise to my right snapped me from my thoughts, and I quickly snapped my head around to peer into the woods. When all I heard was silence, I shook off my paranoia and figured that I had better be heading back to the stables. Hérion would be pissed if he had seen my antics, galloping off without warming up first…

Picking up the leather reins, I nudged Faenelin forward and turned her around, heading back in the direction that I had come from. We walked for quite some time before I began to feel like something was amiss. How far had I travelled? _It might take a while to get back,_ I mused, wishing that I had taken the time to saddle Faenelin before we had left. My legs were sore from clinging to the mare's sides during the run. Sighing, I stared at the road ahead of me, hoping that we hadn't actually ran that far, and that soon the stables would be in sight.

I grabbed a fistful of mane as Faenelin suddenly leapt sideways, nearly throwing me off unintentionally. Regaining my balance, I felt my heart begin to pound as the mare stood frozen, her ears pricked in the direction of the woods to our left. Where I had heard the first sound. _Shit shit shit,_ I clenched my teeth, urging the mare into a trot, eager to be back at the stables. The protection that I normally felt in the Golden wood seemed absent, and a cold fear gripped at my heart as I rode down the path.

In a sudden flurry of activity, I suddenly was able to hear the most horrifying sound that I had ever heard before. Snarls sounded from deep in the trees, and the unmistakable sound of metal clanging against metal reached my ears. I was frozen in fear, paralyzed as my brain tried to make sense of what was going on. The horse beneath me had begun to quiver in anticipation. _What do I do?!_

I did not have time to figure that out. With a terrified whinny, Faenelin balked as a small band of horribly ugly beasts broke from the forest in front of us, charging towards us with their swords raised. _Orcs._ Instinct took over and the mare turned sharply on her hind legs and fled. Groping wildly for a chunk of mane, I felt my heart drop into my stomach as I felt the unmistakable sensation of being thrown through the air. I landed with a heavy thud on the gravel road, and immediately a sharp pain careened up through my shoulder. Crying out in pain, I opened my eyes to see the orcs charging towards me. Faenelin had not gotten far before I had fallen off.

Fear took over, and I quickly scrambled up off the ground and ran in the same direction as Faenelin, hoping weakly that she had not run too far. Adrenaline coursed through my body as my feet flew across the gravel as fast as they could carry me. As I ran, I let loose a couple of loud screams, hoping that someone was nearby. I could hear the sound of metal boots behind me, the grunts and laughter of the orcs. This was all a game for them, a sport to play as they crossed the woods. As I ran, I tried not to think about what would happen if they caught me, but my efforts were futile. How could I not think about it? I was uncertain what they would do to me, a woman alone in the woods. All I knew was that I did not want to find out.

My breathing had grown laboured as I risked one last scream, hoping with all of my being that someone would hear me and come to my aid. But as I felt my muscles begin to cease up, I suddenly knew in the pit of my stomach that I was alone. With this realization, I felt the toe of my boot catch in a tree root. Time seemed to slow as I tumbled to the ground, and I felt no pain, though I was vaguely aware that I had torn through my breeches and my hands and knees were bleeding. Dragging myself from the ground, I heard nothing but the sound of the orcs' laughter behind me. They were catching up, closing in on me. In one last attempt to escape, I threw myself forward, ignoring the pain in my lungs as I willed myself to keep going.

It was all too much. Feeling as if my heart was about to burst, I collapsed in a heap on the ground, shaking violently in distress. It did not take long for the orcs to catch up with me, and soon I could hear their boots slow to a stop, surrounding me. I began to sob.

"What 'ave we got here?" One of them spoke up, its voice sending chills down my spine. As much as I did not want to, I raised my head and stared up at it. "A little girl, all alone. Fell off 'er pony," it jeered, taking a step towards me. I winced.

"Stay… Stay away from me," I squeaked out as they stared at me, looking me up and down like a cut of meat. But really, was I much more than that at this point? I was helpless. I had no weapon, not even a knife to defend myself with. At this they all began to laugh, a horrible cackle. I felt the bile rising in my throat as another orc approached me, holding out its sword. I choked back a sob as I felt the cool metal press against my skin as the orc held the weapon up to my neck.

"What do you think, boys? Should we skin 'er alive? Make 'er squeal?" The orc with the sword pressed to my neck cackled, turning his yellow eyes on me. I whimpered as I felt the blade glide lightly across my skin and the slow trickle of blood down my neck. _I'm going to die. I'm never going to go home._ Closing my eyes, I tried to ignore the orcs around me, their stinking flesh and their hideous faces.

The other orcs began to cheer at this suggestion, and suddenly I was shoved onto my back. The wind knocked out of me, I gasped for breath, wheezing as my mind whirled. Whatever peace I had managed to find a moment ago was gone, and panic had set in once again as I realised that I was about to be literally skinned alive. Several orcs flung themselves at me at once, and I felt a sharp pain in my side as one of their blades broke my skin. I screamed with all of my worth as the pain washed over me, consuming me.

Just as I was sure there was no hope, I heard the whistle of an arrow as it sailed through the air, and the unmistakable sound as it sank deep into the skull of one of my attackers. The others froze, momentarily confused, before turning from me to face their new foe. As much as I wanted to get up and run away, I could not move. The pain was too much for me, it was beyond anything that I had ever felt before. As I lay in the grass, I could hear the cries of the orcs as they were slain, until as quick as it had begun, all fell deathly silent.

I lay still, with only the sound of my quickened breathing and the light breeze in the trees reaching my ears. And suddenly, there was a voice in my ear, lulling me to sleep. My eyes tried to focus, but everything had suddenly gone blurry. To my dismay, I found that the voice was urging me to stay awake. I wasn't allowed to sleep yet. Fighting my heavy eyelids, I stared up at the face as it leaned over top of me.

The world around me spun as I was carefully lifted up and into the arms of one of the people who had saved me. Was it even a person? My mind was spinning, and despite my uncertainty, I was no longer afraid of anything that was going on. I felt safe in the arms of whoever was holding me. My bliss was short-lived, for soon we were off across the woods, and the jostling, though only slight, aggravated my wounds. Moaning in pain, I wanted to writhe, thrash, and scream. But I could only lay limp as I was whisked through the trees back towards Caras Galadhon.

* * *

 _Ooh, a cliff-hanger! I know, I know, I'm sorry about that… But hey, it will encourage me to get the next chapter written as soon as possible! I hope that you all enjoyed that chapter, it was fun to write! As always, thanks for all of the awesome reviews, and all of the favourites and follows as well! Please, if you have not already done so (and even if you have!) remember to leave me a review! No matter how short or how long, I love and appreciate every single one of them! Thanks for reading!_

 _-Eru_


	7. Chapter 7

_So again, sorry guys for the wait! I've been getting so preoccupied with getting all of the dates for this story worked out and written down that I was dipping into my writing time! But finally, here it is! Hopefully you all enjoy it!_

* * *

 **Chapter 7:**

I stirred from my sleep as the birds chirped from outside my window. I batted my eyes open only to close them again, quickly shutting out the blinding light that filtered through the curtains. A soft breeze tickled my cheek as I slowly opened my eyes once again, letting them adjust to the daylight. Yawning, I lifted my arms above my head, wincing as an uncomfortable pain in my left side prevented me from stretching. Quickly lowering my arms, I sat up slowly and folded over the sheets, carefully lifting up my nightgown to reveal a long, pink slash down my abdomen. Instantly I remembered the orc attack, and slumped back down into my pillows, closing my eyes tightly as if to push the attack from my memory. I was unaware of the footsteps as an elf entered the room, but turned suddenly at the sound of a familiar voice.

"Christa, how are you feeling?" Haldir had entered my room and was moving to sit in a chair that was positioned near my head. Slinking back under the covers, I blushed slightly, remembering that I was in my nightgown.

"I'm all right," I replied as my embarrassment faded. _Could have knocked._ Haldir nodded, his face hiding any emotion he felt.

"It could have been a lot worse. You've been asleep for three days, the healers thought it best to let you wake on your own."

 _Three days?_ The look of shock on my face was enough to prompt Haldir for further explanation.

"I'm actually quite surprised to see you awake. It is not unusual for a mortal to sleep for weeks after elvish healing. The magic of the elves is normally a much more painful process for a mortal, and yet you handled it well." He said thoughtfully, staring off outside of the window as he spoke. I digested his words for a moment, before another thought occurred to me.

"You saved me." It was not a question, but a statement. I stared at him intently as he turned his gaze back to me, and for the first time since he had arrived, I caught the hint of a smile.

"Yes," he nodded. The smile quickly disappeared, however. "You are fortunate that we heard your screams, and that we were able to reach you in time."

I lowered my gaze as his pierced mine, my cheeks burning in shame. I had acted rashly, there was no doubt about it, and I owed Haldir my life. "I should never have traveled so far on my own," I said quietly after a moment, fiddling with the bedsheets.

"No, you should not have. You acted foolishly," he said, his voice raised now, strained. "You have no idea what they would have done to you had we not been able to reach you in time. You have no idea…" Haldir trailed off, the anger edging out of his voice. I continued to avoid his gaze, caught off guard and slightly frightened by his sudden outburst.

"I am sorry, Haldir." I caught him nod in acceptance out of the corner of my eye. The silence hung heavy in the air, and I wondered if I should say anything else to break the tension. I didn't need to, as Haldir soon spoke up. There was something on his voice that I could not pin a name to.

"You must promise me that you will not act so carelessly again." I looked up to meet my friend's eyes and noticed something hidden within them. Fear? Pain? Desperation? I wasn't sure exactly, but it haunted me for quite some time.

"I promise," I muttered sheepishly.

As Haldir's shoulders appeared to loosen, I felt the true toll of the elvish magic for the first time. As my head began to ache slightly, I looked across the bed at Haldir, my eyes growing heavy. The corners of Haldir's mouth pulled into a smile as I yawned.

"Sleep, mellon nîn." Standing up from the chair, Haldir laid a gentle hand on my forehead, before exiting the room, tugging a thicker pair of curtains across the window to block out the bright sun.

After watching him leave the room and silently close the door behind him, I tucked myself up into a more comfortable position and closed my eyes. Though physically I could have fallen sleep that instant, my mind was wide awake trying to decode my friend's outburst. Before I could give it much thought, I was drifting off. _I guess he thinks of me as a closer friend than I thought,_ I smiled as I fell out of consciousness again.

* * *

I spent several days in the healing wards drifting in and out of consciousness, until finally I was unable to spend another day sleeping. I was itching to escape the healing room. I could have jumped for joy when finally I was given permission by my healer to leave. The small amount of discomfort that I had experienced the first time I had woke had vanished. All that was left of the attack was the pink scar on my side, and even that had already begun to fade. The cut on my neck, which had been much less severe, had also already disappeared. Since my waking, Haldir had been acting oddly. He had sent the rest of his patrol back out to the border, and had requested special permission to stay behind for the last few days of his shift. In order to make sure that I didn't try anything else stupid, I supposed. His first few visits were strangely quiet. It seemed to me that as I recovered from the attack, it had scarred him deeper than it had myself.

Soon, however, he was pretty much back to his normal self. Thankfully, through my conversations with Haldir, I was able to find out that Faenelin had found her way back to the stables safe and sound. Hérion had run out from the stables at the sound of hooves, and had begun to panic when he saw the riderless Faenelin, spooked and dripping with sweat. Though he had been unable to visit me in the healing ward since he was so busy, Haldir had passed on to him how badly I felt. Hérion had in turn assured me through Haldir that Faenelin had seen much worse, and that he was simply glad to find out that I was doing well.

Haldir had been present when the healer had told me that I was free to leave, unless I had any concerns. Having none, I was eager to escape the confines of the bed. After having a fresh set of my clothes brought to me and the room emptied, I carefully slid into my breeches and tunic, and eagerly swung my legs over the side of the bed. After giving Haldir the all clear, he re-entered the room and offered me his hand, helping me to my feet. For a moment I wobbled slightly, but once I had caught my balance I playfully shooed away his hand and walked out on my own.

After walking a little ways, my body had remembered how to place my feet so that I would not trip, and I was back to my normal ways. We were walking up the stairs when Haldir broke the silence.

"Christa, I think that you should learn some self-defence," he said bluntly. I turned to stare at him quizzically, before realising that I probably should learn how to protect myself. "Nothing terribly complicated, just some simple evasive techniques. Though I trust you will not go off looking for any more trouble, I would feel better knowing you at least knew how to buy yourself some time should the need arise."

"Yes, I think that it would help me feel better as well," I nodded and shuttered at the thought of ever having to deal with orcs again. Or any threat, for that matter.

"Good. We will start tomorrow, if you are up for it?"

I nodded eagerly, smiling in determination, and was happy to see Haldir offer me a smile back.

* * *

"Oof!"

I stumbled backwards and landed with a soft thud on the grass as Haldir attempted to grab my wrists. Whatever I had gained from shying backwards out of his reach was short lived, for the Marchwarden was quick to take advantage of my less than ideal technique. Before I could bat an eyelash, he had me pinned face down in the grass with both of my arms behind my back. Though we had been practicing for the better part of the morning, I was definitely not proving to be a quick learner. Over the past couple of days, I had been able to master some of the easier techniques, and could escape most simple wrist and ankle holds if I was quick enough. But now that Haldir was attempting to teach me how to avoid being caught in the first place, I was struggling.

I groaned in frustration as I spat the grass out of my mouth. Haldir quickly released my wrists and offered me a hand up. Annoyed with myself and getting awfully grumpy, I didn't take him up on his offer and pulled myself up. Chuckling at my bad mood, Haldir had quickly placed himself back in front of me, ready for another go. I shook my head, too pissed off to continue.

"You are not going to improve without practice, mellon," Haldir said, leaning down slightly with a smile on his face. "Let's just see if we can work on evading my first attack, and then we can be done for today."

I looked up at him without lifting my chin, my face set in a subtle scowl, but after a slight hesitation, I nodded my head and straightened. Haldir was right, after all. I wasn't going to get any better unless I could shove my frustrations out the door. Haldir grinned back at me.

"Good. Remember, never watch your attacker's eyes. Always pay attention to their body. The eyes will lie, and that is where you are running into trouble. If you watch me closely, you will not be so alarmed when I try to grab your wrists."

Nodding curtly, I focused on my friend, my eyes trailing on his chest. Watching closely, I was aware of his every movement, a slight tremble in his right thumb, a twitch in his jaw… For a moment, I was perplexed by this. Never had I given anything this much attention. Unfortunately, I had allowed my thoughts to wander, and Haldir has noticed this. His right arm was up quickly and I flinched, pulling my arms out of his reach. Meanwhile, his left arm flew towards my hands, and I quickly found myself ensnared once again. Clenching my teeth, I braced for the impact with the ground, but thankfully Haldir chose not to take me down this time.

"I know, I know, I screwed up again," I hissed, mad at myself as Haldir opened his mouth. Releasing my wrists, he raised an eyebrow but said nothing as I growled at myself in the common tongue. Though I had been a good student lately, I found that Sindarin just didn't allow me to be angry enough when I needed to be. After a moment, I took a deep breath, and attempted to calm myself down.

"Okay, let's try that again," I said with as much confidence as I could muster. Haldir was clearly pleased that I had agreed to go again as he positioned himself. This time, I did not let my mind wander. Instead, I embraced this newfound skill and was able to tell a distraction from an attack.

Shifting his weight to one side, Haldir attempted to throw me off, but after initially reaction on instinct to the sudden motion, I was able to recover before he jumped the other way, reaching for my wrists. Stepping quickly to the side and out of his reach, I couldn't help but grin. The two of us froze again, and I waited for Haldir to make the next move.

He jumped forward suddenly, straight towards me. Though it still startled me as it had the first time, I had been somewhat expecting it. Again taking a simple step to my right, Haldir darted past me, quickly turning on his heel. My eyes popped open as he sank low and reached for my ankle this time, and I momentarily didn't know how to react. Simply jumping to my left proved a mistake, for I was quickly yanked off balance and hit the grass pretty hard. Thankfully, the grass was thick, but still I felt my head begin to throb slightly as I stared up at the trees.

"I'm okay," I moaned as I slowly sat up, reaching up with one hand to hold my head as the trees slowly stopped spinning around me.

"Are you certain?" I looked up at Haldir, who was looking skeptically at me. I smiled and nodded insistently. No way was I going back to the healers so soon after leaving. Though I could tell that he didn't fully believe me, Haldir let it go. "That was much better," he smiled.

I felt like sticking my tongue out at him, but held back. "You went for my ankle," I said, knowing that my excuse was a pretty lame one. After all, it wasn't like a real attacker would tell me where they were going to try and grab me. Haldir knew based on the look on my face that he didn't need to explain why my reasoning sucked.

"Yes," he simple nodded as he offered me his hand. Though my pride had still suffered a pretty bad bruise, I accepted it and was pulled to my feet. After brushing the grass and dirt from my clothes, I looked across at Haldir. I didn't even need to say anything, as he had guessed what was going through my mind. "That is all for today, you have improved greatly, Christa, whether you see it or not," he said with a chuckle.

Rolling my eyes, I grinned. Despite the tough time I was having, I did feel better about myself already. Though I ached all over, and became agitated easily, I knew in the back of my mind that these lessons were going to help me out big time if I ever did run into any trouble again.

As we started back towards the heart of the city, my stomach decided that it would be a good time to voice its opinion, letting out a rather loud grumble. A few weeks ago, I would have been mortified, but now that I had grown so close to the Marchwarden, I simply grinned as Haldir raised an eyebrow, the corners of his lips tugged up into a small smile.

"I guess it goes without saying that I could use a bite to eat," I chuckled.

Glancing up through the trees, Haldir nodded. "Lunch will be served soon. We can head right over, if you would like."

Glancing down at my grass stained breeches, I contemplated heading back up to my flet to get changed quickly, but the thought of climbing all of those stairs only to come back down again a minute later was too unappealing. Glancing over at Haldir, I gestured to my clothes.

"This isn't… unacceptable or anything, right?" I half-laughed. I was just starting to blend in, with the talk of the strange girl in the woods finally dying down, and I didn't want to raise any eyebrows with my disheveled apparel. Haldir merely shook his head. _Good._

It didn't take us long to reach the dining hall. We grabbed our plates and filled them quickly. I had recently learned that the elvish season of _Lavas,_ which was equivalent to the early part of autumn, had ended, and with the arrival of late autumn, referred to as _fading_ , the elves had gathered the very best of their harvest stores and were serving them today. Once we had piled out plates high with the sweet smelling fruits and vegetables, we found seats at a table off to the side of the room.

"So, what's with the party atmosphere?" I asked in the common tongue. Since I had been greatly improving with my Sindarin lately, Haldir had become less adamant on me speaking it all the time. Surprisingly, I had grown used to speaking the new language since I didn't have too many opportunities to speak English anymore, and only slipped back when I wasn't paying attention to my tongue. Haldir cocked an eyebrow at my interesting choice of words.

"Between the seasons of _Lavas_ and _Firith_ , the elves celebrate a short period called _Enderi,_ or 'Middle days". On the third and final day, Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel host a great feast," Haldir explained passionately. At the word 'feast' I had to refrain from making a face. It wasn't that I didn't love a good party, but knowing the elves, I would have to be on my most ladylike behaviour, and by now I had learned that acting like a lady was next to no fun. Haldir caught my slight change in expression and smirked. "As a guest of Galadriel, you will be expected to attend, of course."

Pouting, I turned my attention back to my lunch and continued to eat, finding another topic to get my mind off of the idea of attending the feast.

"Elves don't exactly keep track of the dates the same way as men, do they? Like, back home we number each day." A thought had popped into my mind, one that I was surprised hadn't occurred to me sooner. With the coming of late autumn, I supposed that it must be around the beginning of October.

"Not the elves, no. We have six seasons, each a certain number of _ré_ , or days. The other folk in Middle Earth do. They have many months, twice as many as the elves."

"It's the same back home. 12 months," I said quickly, hoping that he would be able to tell me what the date was.

"I reckon that the tenth month of the year of men is nearly upon us, I believe in the common tongue they refer to it as October," Haldir said thoughtfully. My brows raised slowly, hoping for a date, but Haldir was unable to give me one. Turning to me, it was his turn to question me. "Was there a particular reason for your question?"

I nodded slowly, disappointed that I wasn't able to be sure of the date. "My birthday is on the 7th day of October."

"Your birthday?" Haldir asked, looking slightly confused, though I couldn't figure out how the concept could be confusing to him.

"Yes, marking the day I was born. We celebrate it annually, normally with a party, though I never did much for mine, personally," I explained, finding it hard to believe that elves didn't celebrate birthdays. _I suppose it could get a little hard to keep track of, after a few thousand years…_ As I finished explaining, however, it was like something clicked in my friend's mind, and he chuckled.

"I see now. We do not celebrate the date of birth. Instead, we celebrate the date of conception, as that is when a life truly begins. Furthermore, you must understand that for the elves, what you would call a year passes by in the blink of an eye, and so we celebrate our conception every 144 years. We call that a _yén,_ for it is far easier to count the years of our lives in _yén._

I nodded my head thoughtfully, hoping that he would continue. I was beyond curious to know exactly how old my friend was. I hadn't thought about it very much back home, since Haldir hadn't been a major character in the story. To be honest, I had never really paid much attention to his character at all until meeting him. Now that I had gotten to know him so well, I was dying to know. I think that Haldir knew what I was hoping to hear, because he smiled a small smile but said nothing on the subject of his age.

"If you don't mind me asking, what age will you be?" He asked me now, turning his eyes to me as he raised his fork to his mouth.

"Um… 20," I said after a slight hesitation, feeling every inch like a child at the mention of my young age. I was surrounded by elves, immortal beings who were probably all at least several hundred years old. Hell, a lot of the elf "children" were probably around the same age as me, if not several years older. "It's not a huge birthday back home, but it's not an insignificant one either," I explained. "I'll finally be an adult." At this I looked up at Haldir as he laughed lightly, his mouth full of salad. I suppressed a smile of my own and laid down my fork to look at him pointedly. "Is something funny?"

Haldir swallowed his food and looked across the table at me. "No, I suppose not. It is just so strange to hear someone say that. You are so young to me, yet you do not act like it… Most of the time, anyways," he said with a smile. Despite the setting, I could not help but stick my tongue out at him.

We continued to eat the rest of our lunch, content to enjoy our meals in silence. Stuffing the last mouthful of salad into my mouth, I thought about how much I _didn't_ miss the food back home. Surprisingly, I had not yearned for any of the foods that I had been so accustomed to eating. Though I had missed it at first, the healthy lifestyle of the elves had grown on me over the past month. I hadn't been that big of a meat lover anyways, so the vegetarian lifestyle wasn't too big of a change. _I do miss chicken though, it will probably take a long time to get over that._

As I placed my utensils neatly on top of my plate and prepared to excuse myself from the table, another thought popped into my head. _I know what month it is now… but what year is it? Why didn't this pop into my head earlier?_ At this new thought my mind began to race. If Lothlórien was still habited, then it must be before the War of the Ring. Swallowing hard, I debated whether or not it would be good for my state of mind to ask what year it was. _Orcs attacked me last week… That can't be a good sign._ I took a deep breath before looking up at Haldir, who was preparing to leave the table with his own dishes.

"Haldir, what year is it?" I asked, trying not to give anything away with my tone of voice. My guise failed, quite miserably, and Haldir furrowed his brows at my clear display of uneasiness.

"It is late in the year 3018 of the Third Age," Haldir replied, his brow still creased. "Why?"

I shook my head and plastered a smile on my face. "I was just curious." _Well crap. That's the year the Fellowship left Rivendell, there's no way I could forget that._ I could tell that Haldir was not convinced, but there was no way I was going to tell him that I knew what was going to happen over the course of the next few years. No way. "Are you finished?" I asked him, trying to sidestep the uncomfortable topic. Haldir nodded silently and we both rose from our seats to drop off our plates.

For the rest of the afternoon I studied in my room with Haldir, though my mind was fixed on other matters. If I didn't find a way to get home really quickly, I was going to find myself in Middle Earth during a war. And for someone who wouldn't even ride a roller coaster if it went upside down, that was definitely not something that I was going to experience if I had any choice in the matter.

* * *

 _There you have it! Hope you all enjoyed reading it. It was a little bit faster paced than the previous chapters, but as we go along I'm getting eager to get to the Fellowship's arrival! Please remember to leave me a review, thanks to everyone who has already done so! Remember, I will always get back to you, so if you have any questions or comments, I would love to hear them! I will update soon!_

 _-Eru_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

I sat before the vanity in my bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror as Raina buzzed about me like a bee, fiddling with my hair. I felt like I had been sitting in this chair for hours, and quite probably had. The third and final day of the _Enderi_ had arrived, and Raina had interrupted my quiet reading session early in the afternoon, shocked to find me still covered in dried mud and sweat from my practice with Haldir earlier that morning. After several failed attempts to assure her that I had myself covered for preparing, she had hurried off to prepare my bath. I swear if I had not given in when I did, she would have stripped me down and shoved me into the bath tub herself. After promising to be quick but thorough, and insisting that she go and get ready herself, she left me to bathe.

Though some small part of me had hoped that she had left me to get ready in peace, no sooner had I dried myself off and pulled on my undergarments had she reappeared in my flet, bearing a bundle of soft, pale green silk. Resisting the urge to wrinkle my nose at the garment, I allowed her to dress me and tie up the corset back, before looking into the mirror. To my surprise, the dress actually wasn't half bad. By elvish standards, I'm sure it must have been beautiful, but it sure wasn't something I would have picked out for myself. As Raina laced up the ribbons, I realised just how much weight I had lost during my time here. My breasts had shrunk several cup sizes, I was sure of it. Not that I really cared anymore. The changes had been coming at me from every angle lately, and despite my fears of my changing body, I had been forcing myself to do my best to ignore them. My main focus now was finding a way to get back home.

I had been meaning to speak with Lady Galadriel since the day I had been released from the Healing wards, but between my self-defence and Sindarin lessons, helping Hérion out with chores at the barn, and Galadriel's own busy schedule, I had not found the time to meet with her.

"I think that it is fine the way that it is, Raina," I smiled kindly at the elf maiden who was frantically trying to figure out the best way to braid up a small section of my hair that was dangling off centered at the back of my head. Raina said nothing in reply, her face set hard with concentration. I sighed but kept smiling, not wanting her to know that I was tired of being fussed over. After several more minutes, she had the hair braided and pinned up with the various other braids. She had left the majority of my hair loose, which suited me just fine. I had always felt weird with my hair up off my neck.

"Is this style to your liking, Christa?" Raina met my eyes in the mirror, a twinge of worry in her gaze. I laughed lightly.

"Yes, thank you, Raina. I never would have been able to do anything this lovely on my own," I replied, smiling. _Not like I needed anything this complex in the first place, but hey, it is pretty great looking._

Raina smiled, relieved, before excusing herself to go and prepare back at her own flet. Staring back at my reflection, I wished that I had some makeup. I felt weird to be off to such a fancy event with a naked face. Although my pale complexion had become significantly fairer with the disappearance of my scars, I still felt like my eyes could have used some mascara and eyeliner. _Oh well._

Taking a deep breath, I rose from the hard stool and felt my butt tingle as the blood rushed back into it. I glanced out through my window as I stood in my bedroom, remarking that it was nearly sundown. Not entirely sure when the feast was supposed to start, I shrugged my shoulders and decided that waiting until nightfall seemed like a good bet. Not wanting to spend any more time sitting since I figured I would be doing a fair amount of that later on in the evening, I paced around my room, getting used to the long draping fabric of the dress. Unlike the other dresses that I had gotten fairly used to wearing, this one was composed of several skirts, as well as long hanging sleeves. A sheer, lacy material was layered over top of the primary green silk skirt, and with each step I found myself having to lift up the skirts so as not to step on them. _Thank God no one wears heels here, at least._ The slippers were the best part of my outfit. Very much like ballet flats, they were hands down the most comfortable pair of slippers I had been given thus far. Though I yearned for my leather boots, I knew there was no way I would be able to get away with wearing those to the feast.

As I giggled at the thought, a soft knock sounded on my door and I strode over to it as quickly as I could without falling over. Pulling open the door, I found Haldir, dressed to the nines in a silvery blue tunic. Raising my brows, I nodded my head in approval.

"Looking good, Marchwarden," I joked as he reached up to rub the back of his neck, somewhat awkwardly. _Okay, fine I'll stop._ The last rays of the sun turned his silver hair to a golden hue, and I noticed that it was not braided with its usual pair of braids behind his ears. I took a moment to truly look at my friend. _Why couldn't the boys back home look as good as you?_ I thought with an internal chuckle.

Dropping his arm back to his side, he smiled at me. "You look quite lovely yourself, Christa."

Biting my lip slightly, I felt the colour rise to my cheeks. "Thank you, Haldir," I said with a slight laugh. I hadn't been expecting such serious a comment from my friend, but took it with a grain of salt. Elves, so polite and all.

Without a moment's hesitation, Haldir offered me his arm and I took it, tucking myself up close to keep myself from getting a chill. Though the days were still not too bad, the nights had suddenly started to become colder over the past week. As we started making our way down the stairs towards the Hall, I could already hear the voices of many elves and the soft sound of music. Deciding that I was going to do my best to enjoy the night, I shoved every ounce of my pessimism to the back of my mind.

By the time we had reached the Hall, I was doing my best not to shiver. Though the dress had sleeves, they were very thin and did little to ward off the chilly night air. I was grateful for the warmth of the hall as we stepped through the doors. Immediately I was bombarded by the delicious smells of food, the sight of several hundred elves, and the sounds of chatter blending in with the music. Raising my eyebrows in awe, Haldir led me past many crowded tables, nearly all the way to the front of the room. We came to a stop at a table that was occupied by many familiar faces, including Rúmil and Orophin. For each male elf, there was an elleth seated beside him. As Haldir pulled out a chair for me and I sat down, I couldn't help but be reminded of senior prom. I had been asked by a quiet boy in my grade, and the night had been awkward to say the least. Now Haldir sat down in the seat beside me and I felt my stomach flip nervously. _This isn't a date, don't be silly._

"Christa, you look wonderful!" Rúmil addressed me from across the table. I grinned and thanked him. He quickly introduced me to the elleth at his side, Valadhiel, and we exchanged greetings before I repeated the process with Orophin. He had at his side an elleth who he had been friends with for most of his life, Nellethiel. Both of the ellith had stunning golden blond hair and fair faces, as I had grown accustomed to seeing over the past two months.

"My name is Christa," I said once I had learned the names of the new additions to the group. "I'm sure you've already heard much about me, but I assure you, I'm not really all that strange," I said with an awkward chuckle.

"She lies, Christa is quite unusual. It is not every day the elves of Lothlórien get to meet a mortal, especially a woman," Haldir joked. I caught myself and smiled, biting my tongue to keep myself from saying anything inappropriate as I ran through all of the things I could have retorted with.

The chatter continued on for several minutes, until every seat in the Hall was filled. As the chatter started to die down in anticipation for the address from the Lord and Lady, I looked around the room, taking in the sheer number of elves that had gathered in the Hall. For the first time, I noticed that the Hall had a balcony that ran along the four walls, and those too were packed full. Turning my eye towards the stage that was not so far from where we sat, I watched as Galadriel and Celeborn walked across the platform and stood in the middle.

"Good evening, and welcome to the Feast of the _Enderi,_ " Celeborn started as the crowed hushed before them. Both he and Galadriel smiled as the elves in attendance held the respectful silence before the Lady of Light spoke.

"May all who have gathered here this evening enjoy the splendor of this year's harvest," Galadriel opened her arms to gesture to the large crowd before her, before she bowed her head and turned along with her husband to take their seats at the head of the hall.

And just like that, the festivities had begun. Almost immediately, elves were floating across the floor, their arms laden with food. I widened my eyes as I watched the servers dance between the tables and was even more impressed when I caught sight of the food that was quickly brought to our table. As I waited for those seated around me to serve themselves, I mouth began to water as I surveyed the selection before me. Laid out before me were pastries and breads of every sort, cheese plates, and salads of fruits and vegetables. I also noticed several Never in my life had I seen so much food piled on one table before, let alone so many different kinds of food! As the rest of the tables received their food, the soft sound of a harp reached my ears. My stomach growled, and I was glad that the elves in the room had once again picked up their gentle chatter. Not that it probably helped, seeing as they could hear practically everything, but if any of them did hear it, they made no mention of it.

Finally, the last of the food must have arrived, for my company began to eat. Eagerly, I reached forward and took one of everything before me, until my plate was full. I probably looked like a huge pig, but whatever. No way was I going to pass up the opportunity to eat so much delicious food. As I took a bite out of a jam-filled pastry, I looked around for a drink. Seeing none, I tapped Haldir on the shoulder.

"Um, is there anything to drink?"

Without answering me, he looked over my shoulder and raised his hand slightly. Almost instantly, an elf appeared at my side and filled me up a glass before handing it to me. I took it and thanked the ellon, peering into the glass as he hurried off to attend to someone else.

"Is this wine?" I asked tentatively as I sniffed the contents of the glass. _Yep. Definitely wine._ Haldir seemed to notice my expression and disregarded my question.

"The finest white wine in Middle Earth," he said proudly. "Have you not tasted it before?" He asked as I turned to glance at him. I shook my head. He didn't need to say anymore, for the look on his face convinced me to take a sip.

I had never tried white wine before. Red wine I had tasted once on my mother's birthday, though I had never asked exactly what kind of wine it was. I had finished the glass, but had sworn to stay away from wine from there on in. As I took a sip of the pale liquid, I was instantly relieved to find it had quite a sweet, fruity taste to it. Placing it down in front of me, I nodded in approval and Haldir grinned. By the time I had finished my plate of food, I had finished my glass of wine and was flagging down a refill.

"I must warn you, it is quite strong. You may want to pay close attention to how much you consume," Haldir spoke as he watched the server fill my glass. I turned to him and smiled, tilting my head to the side in a questioning manner.

"I can handle the alcohol, Haldir. You don't need to worry about me."

Shrugging his shoulders, Haldir sighed, a slight grin showing on his lips as he resumed his conversation with the elves beside him.

Though I had collected another plate full of food, I only got about a quarter of the way through it before my stomach started to complain. Realising that my stomach must have shrunk while living in Lothlórien, I set down my fork and finished my glass of wine. As I sipped, Rúmil pushed his chair back silently and stood up, offering Valadhiel his hand. Taking it, the pair made their way across the room towards where a large number of other guests had gathered. Watching them, I noticed that there was a large area that had been left clear of tables and chairs, where couples had started to dance to the music. As Orophin rose with Nellethiel, I smiled and watched them go. So far, I was rather pleased with how the evening was turning out. Delicious food, beautiful music… _And good alcohol!_ I thought as I lifted my hand for another refill.

"Christa?" I turned as Haldir rested a hand on my shoulder.

"Yes?" I questioned, grinning. I knew what he was going to say to me. He was going to have to learn that he couldn't baby me just because I was however thousand years younger than him.

"May I have this dance?" Haldir questioned, a twinkle in his eyes. I raised my eyebrows in surprise. That was not what I was expecting at all. Really though, I probably should have seen it coming. Pretty much everyone else who had been sitting at the table with us had already made their way to the dance floor, and it would have been weird for my friend not to ask me.

"Of course!" I said with a grin, taking his hand as he rose from his chair. We made our way to the open floor, weaving in between the elves who were standing to watch the happy couples. With anyone else, I would have been nervous. But as my best friend led the way into the middle of the crowded floor, I laughed, feeling far more carefree than I had in years. It wasn't until we went to take each other's hands that I figured I had better spill the beans.

"I should probably let you know that I don't know how to dance. Like… At all," I laughed, feeling only slightly embarrassed. If it weren't for the idea of being watched by hundreds of eyes, I wouldn't have minded messing up at all.

"That shouldn't be a problem, just follow my lead and you will be just fine," Haldir said. _Easier said than done._ I didn't have a chance to complain before he led me into the dance.

Unable to keep myself from staring at my toes, I danced the whole first song focusing on not stepping on Haldir's feet, or tripping myself up. The dress didn't help either, since I had neither of my hands free to keep it from getting tangled up between my legs. Sparing a quick glance around me, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy at the grace of all of the elves around me. As the song came to an end, I looked up at Haldir and laughed, ashamed.

"It would help if you did not watch your feet," Haldir suggested as the minstrels started to play the next song. Taking his advice, I did my best to concentrate on anywhere but my feet, but every couple of seconds, I would find myself unable to keep from glancing down. I nearly tripped as I struggled to figure out how the elves around me where so good at dancing, but Haldir held his arm taught and somehow managed to mask my slip-up.

"Look at me," he said simply, in a commanding tone of voice that I had not heard since my arrival. Unable to ignore his request, I looked up and met his gaze, expecting him to be frustrated with me, but instead I found him smiling encouragingly. For whatever reason, I felt myself blush as I made eye contact with him. He led me through the rest of the dance as I slowly adjusted to holding his gaze. To my surprise, Haldir's advice had worked. I was far from an excellent dancer, but I had managed not to fall on my face.

At the end of the dance, I was starting to feel kind of warm from the crowded room. As the minstrels paused before starting up with a new melody, I smiled up at Haldir and gently released my hands from his.

"I'll be right back, I could use some air," I tried not to sound awkward as I offered my friend a quick smile before I made my way off of the dance floor.

"I think I need another drink," I muttered to myself as I strode across the room. I quickly was able to get another glass of wine, which I wrapped my fingers around tightly as I left the Hall.

The cool night air hit me hard as soon as I was through the doors. It was either this or overheat from whatever had been going on between me and Haldir on the dance floor. _That was… Weird._ I found myself strolling through the gardens that neighboured the Hall, my mind wandering over the night so far. I knew that I couldn't stay out here forever, so after a couple of minutes, I made my way back inside. Finishing my drink in one last swig, I stared at the empty glass. Was that my fourth drink already? Or only three? Shrugging, I had it refilled once more and sipped on it as I made my way back across the room, looking for Haldir.

As well as I had gotten to know my friend, it was pretty damn hard to find him amongst the sea of blonde hair. I hoped that he was on the lookout for my return as well, since I was among the minority, being brunette. Raising the glass to my lips I nearly choked on my drink as I felt someone touch my forearm from behind. Spinning around as I coughed a couple of times, I was glad to see Haldir.

"Ah! There you are," I smiled fondly, noticing his questioning glance towards my glass.

"How many glasses have you had?"

I hesitated, unsure. "Four," I said, guessing. I was pretty sure that this was my fifth, but I wasn't about to tell him that. My friend looked at me skeptically.

"And you're feeling all right?"

I lowered my glass and stood still for a moment before nodding my head. Now that I had had a bit of fresh air, I was feeling just fine. Which was more than a little odd, especially given what Haldir had told me earlier about the wine being strong. In all honesty, I was starting to feel a bit disappointed. _How much do I have to drink to get buzzed?_ Maybe it was just some weird elvish thing, and didn't affect me because I was a human? Oh well. I jumped suddenly as another hand tapped lightly on my shoulder. Turning my head, I was surprised to see Rúmil come up beside me.

"Would you care to dance, Lady Christa?" He asked politely, and I chuckled at his use of the word "lady". Accepting his offer with a wide smile, I turned to Haldir as his younger brother led me back across the room to the dance floor. He gave me a smile, but not before I caught him giving Rúmil a look. Turning back around, I couldn't help but feel like there was something going on that I was missing. Shrugging it off, I turned back to the ellon before me as we took each other's hands and began to dance. Keeping Haldir's advice at the back of my mind, I focused my attention on anything but my feet.

"Are you enjoying the night, Christa?" Rúmil broke the silence, looking down at me with a gentle smile. He was so different from his brothers, and it was a welcome change to be in the company of someone so laid back and quiet. As much as I loved Haldir's forward mannerisms, it was nice to take a step back and just have fun. For some reason, I hadn't been able to shake the feeling that Haldir was acting strange lately, and it had been at the back of my mind since waking up in the healing ward.

"Yes, actually I'm having a great time," I grinned. Okay, it wasn't the whole truth, but the night was turning out better than I had originally anticipated. Rúmil gave me a knowing look, but his smile remained.

"I do believe that my brother has begun to fancy you," he stated after a short moment of silence. At this I started, looking up at him in surprise.

"Haldir? I doubt that, we're just friends."

Rúmil's smile grew now, his eyes twinkling mischievously. I began to blush furiously. Thinking back over the past week, I remembered my friend's strange behaviour when I had been injured. Had he really been that worried about me? Blinking hard as I took in Rúmil's words, I thought about how he had complimented me when he had arrived at my door, and how intense his gaze had been during our dance earlier. Butterflies danced in my stomach, though I quickly decided that I did not want them there. _No. I'm going home, I can't be messing around with stuff like that._

"Besides, Rúmil, I'm a mortal," I added after a moment of deliberation. He shrugged.

"Love is a strange thing. Relationships between an elf and a mortal are not unheard of, though I will agree that they have only been seen on a couple of occasions." He leaned in closer now as the song came to an end, and whispered in my ear. "I can see it in his eyes, Christa. He cares deeply for you." Pulling away again, he loosened his grip on my hands and raised one hand to kiss it lightly. "Thank you for this dance." With a small bow and a wink, he was off before I could say anything in objection.

Deciding that it was probably best to not let Haldir know of what Rúmil had told me, I quickly turned to leave the dance floor and nearly tripped as I was pulled sideways. Stopping for a moment, I shook my head lightly before continuing across the room. _Oh sure,_ now _the alcohol decides to kick in_. As I left the dance floor, I accidentally bumped into an elleth with my right elbow. Embarrassed, I turned away quickly before she could see who had run into her.

"Christa!" my name hit my ears, clear as day, though the rest of the voices around me had been reduced to a steady buzz in my ears. _Damn that alcohol is hitting me hard all of a sudden._ Turning in the direction on the voice, I tried not to squint as I searched for the caller. "Mellon, how are you enjoying the feast?" Raina had suddenly materialised before me, and I realised in relief that it had been her that I had bumped into.

"It's great! Great music, great food… great alcohol," I smiled as I felt the room begin to sway again. Raina chuckled lightly, before introducing me to the ellith that were gathered around her. I smiled and nodded at each of their names, though I had soon forgotten them. My head had begun to swim, my thoughts shrouded by a thick fog.

"It's great to meet all of you. I'm Christa. I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got to find Haldir," I spoke quickly, lapsing into English halfway through my sentence. I didn't see the puzzled looks of amusement on their faces as I spun around to search for my friend.

Weaving in and out of the different coloured figures around me, I made my way back to the table where we had been sitting. Frowning when I saw it empty, I stopped and put my hands on my hips, wondering where he could have gone.

"Christa, I was beginning to wonder where you had run off to," Haldir's familiar voice caught my attention and I turned on my heels, causing my head to spin. I grin split my features.

"Haldir! There you are!" I rushed forward, an idea popping into my mind. I grabbed onto one of his hands as I strode past him, nearly tripping on my dress. "Come on, let's dance!" I pulled him through the crowd, once again weaving between the elves all the way back to the dance floor. The music had changed as the night progressed, from the slow, romantic melodies to more upbeat tunes. _Finally, music I_ want _to dance to!_

Haldir did not question me as I dragged him into the middle of the floor. Grasping his other hand, I began to hop up and down, bobbing my head from side to side. Looking back on it now, I'm sure I must have been quite the sight to behold. And poor Haldir… I would not blame him if he had told me that I had embarrassed him. I was quickly told to stop, and despite the fact that he was being dead serious about it, Haldir couldn't hold back his amused grin. After looking up at him in anticipation, Haldir instructed to follow his lead once again.

Taking both of my hands in his own, he pulled me into the dance, guiding me through the simple set of motions. Spinning me around in a circle, we laughed at my inability to keep up with the steps. Despite the fact that everything around me was a blur, and I couldn't make out most of what Haldir was saying to me, I was so glad that I had decided to drink so much. Even if it probably was just a bit too much.

After several dances, I pulled up in the middle of one of the songs and held up one of my hands in exhaustion. "I'm beat," I said in English before chuckling. Haldir raised an eyebrow at my strange words, but didn't bother to question me as he could guess what they meant.

"Let's go and have a rest, then," he replied gently, taking my hand and leading me back to our table. I followed him about halfway before stopping in the crowd, suddenly feeling as though I was going to topple over. Sensing this, Haldir quickly put an arm around my waist and held me up as my knees buckled. I quickly regained my balance, but my eyes suddenly felt heavy. "On second thought, how about we get you back to your room."

I shook my head defiantly, pouting. "I'm having too much fun to leave!" I whined, not caring that I sounded like a small child. As I crossed my arms in front of my chest in objection, I heard Haldir sigh.

"Christa-," he started but stopped when I huffed. I could feel the drowsiness slowly seeping into my system, my eyelids growing heavier by the minute, but I really didn't want to leave the feast yet. There was so much more fun to be had! I was about to do my best to escape back to the dance floor when I felt Haldir's arms wrap around my torso. Before I could object, I had been scooped up into his arms and was being carried bridal-style across the Hall towards the doors.

"You're exhausted, mellon nîn." Haldir said gently as he traversed the room. Though I initially thought about attempting to break free of his hold, my body finally caught up with my mind and I admitted to myself that I was, in fact, spent. Letting my eyes close, I found myself snuggling up against Haldir's chest to keep myself warm as the cold night air hit me. The walk up to my flet felt like mere seconds and I soon found myself tucked in beneath the warm blankets of my bed.

"Sleep well, Christa," Haldir whispered as he bent down and gently placed a kiss on my temple. The soft sound of his footsteps mixed with the distant melodies of the feast were the last thing on my mind as I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 _Phew. I feel like this chapter took forever to write! Nevertheless, I think it was one of my favourites to work on so far. I really struggled with introducing Haldir's feelings for Christa, I hope that I did an okay job. I hope that you all enjoyed reading it! Please don't forget to drop me a review and let me know what you thought of it! Constructive criticism is welcome, as are suggestions (though the major plot is already set, I am always on the lookout for ways to better it!)._

 _Thanks for reading!_

 _-Eru_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

My eyelids felt like weights as I opened my eyes to squint at the morning sunshine beaming in through my window. Rolling over, I buried my face deep into my pillow and groaned, wishing that I could just sleep forever. My head was pounding with every heartbeat.

"Oh God," I moaned as I forced myself to roll over and open my eyes. Pulling myself up into a sitting position, I noticed that I was still dressed in my gown from last evening's feast.

I rubbed my eyes as I tried to remember how I had arrived back in my room, before giving up. There wasn't much that I could remember, other than the food, the dancing, and the wine. Oh God, that wine.

Though it took me several agonizing moments, I was soon sitting on the edge of my bed, my feet dangling over the floor. Though my window was closed firmly, I could feel the chill in the air, and the last thing that I wanted to do was get out of bed. So I sat there, holding my head in one hand while my other hand worked to absentmindedly smooth out the many wrinkles in the silky fabric of my dress. _I have so much to do today…_ All I wanted to do was sleep. No eating, no socialising, and certainly no moving. As much as I didn't want to, I knew that I would have to get up and tackle the day, no matter how crappy I was feeling. It was my own fault, after all.

 _I should be going for a run, but that's not going to happen. I really don't feel like going down for breakfast, either. What time is it, anyways?_ I paused in my thoughts to squint outside, leaning as far forward as I could on the bed so that I wouldn't have to stand up. The sun was already high in the sky. _Well dang._ Exhausted by the simple movement, I let my body fall backwards onto the mattress, closing my eyes. _It's probably safe to say that riding is off the list as well… I really need to talk to Galadriel but I hate to bother her. That just leaves my language and fighting lessons with Haldir._ At this thought I opened my eyes suddenly, the previous night's events rushing back to my mind. Rúmil's words and the vague memory of being carried back to my room. The gentle kiss that he had left before I had drifted off to sleep…

I sat up now, my stomach churning. Haldir had feelings for me. Not only had I found myself stuck in a world that I believed to be fiction, but I now had one of the supposedly real-life characters falling for me. At this realisation, I felt my heart flutter. _No. No no no no._ My mind raced as I quickly shoved my own feelings of excitement away, making my headache even worse. _This can't be happening. I'm going home. I'll be leaving soon._ At that thought I decided that I needed to go and talk to Galadriel right away. I couldn't put it off any longer.

After an agonising half hour, I had wrestled myself out of the fancy gown and into a more casual dress. I quickly ran my hairbrush through what hair I could, since most of it was still tied up in the braids Raina had put in. Slipping on the slippers that I had worn for the feast, which I had decided were my favourites, I gave my head a brisk shake and headed out the door.

In hindsight, the head shake was completely pointless and rather stupid of me, since all it did was make me dizzy. I was lucky to not fall off of the bridge between my flet and the main platform, and the cool autumn air was more than sufficient for pulling me from my hungover drowsiness. After a momentary stumble and a pause to compose myself to the best of my abilities, I carried on my way to Galadriel's lodgings.

Though the nerves were quickly building in the pit of my stomach, I forced myself not to turn around. I needed to get this over with. I just hoped that I wouldn't be bothering her.

" _Your heart is weary. You seek the comfort of my counsel, do you not? Come, let us discuss your troubles."_

I came to a sudden halt halfway down the stairs, looking around for the voice that I had come to know and recognise. It took me only a split second to realise that the voice was in my head. I would be surprised if I ever got used to that.

My feet covered the distance more eagerly now, and soon I was facing the large doors to the Lord and Lady's chambers. On either side of the doors stood an elf, silent and watchful. Uncomfortably, I approached the entrance, watching them both carefully for any signs of how to proceed. Finally, they glanced at me and nodded in greeting. They gave me no instructions, and I could only assume that they had been told of my coming. Taking a deep breath, I pushed open one of the doors and slipped into the large room, letting the door close silently behind me.

My eyes immediately traveled to the back of the room, where I had first seen Celeborn and Galadriel, but the two seats were vacant, as was the rest of the room. Shuffling awkwardly, I let my gaze wander about the room. The early afternoon sunlight drifted through the large windows, illuminating the room. Though the room seemed empty at first, I quickly noticed that the walls were decorated with thousands of intricate carvings, many of them depicting trees, animals, and flowing streams. Unconsciously, I made my way over to the wall nearest to where I stood and began to trace the patterns with my fingers, admiring their delicacy.

"Good afternoon, Tawariell."

I spun around suddenly, caught off guard by the silent entrance of the Lady of Light. My cheeks blushing bright pink, I hastily straightened out my dress and looked up at Galadriel, who was smiling warmly, amused.

"Please, call my Christa," I said after a moment of gathering my thoughts. "Though I might dress the part, I don't think that I could ever really feel enough like an elf to be deserving of an elvish name," I laughed, hoping that my comment wouldn't insult the elf before me.

Galadriel simply smiled wider and extended her hand. "Come, let us discuss that which weighs heavy on your heart."

Accepting her hand, I followed her towards the back of the room, and into a separate, smaller space. Taking a seat at the small table situated in the center of the room, I crossed my hands nervously on top of the table and took a deep breath to calm my mind. Galadriel sat down across from me, and though I knew that I had no reason to feel intimidated by the elf, I couldn't help but feel like I was at an interrogation of sorts.

"You have been meaning to speak with me for many days, and yet you have not approached me until this day. What is it that troubles you so, my child?" Galadriel gazed across the table towards me. It was evident in her eyes that she cared about me and wished to help, and I could feel her presence in my mind like a warm embrace. I wondered why she was questioning me when she could have easily searched my mind for answers herself. As I sat contemplating her question, I found that I didn't even know exactly how to respond.

"I want to return home, back to my own world. But I know that there is nothing that can be done about it, unless the Valar choose to send me back." _But that's not likely to happen._ I tried not to whimper as I spoke the only reply that I could come up with. I hated sounding like such a child, but thankfully Galadriel did not seem to mind.

"Only time will tell when and if you should return to your world, Christa," she replied, her voice soothing. I looked up to see her smiling reassuringly. "Until then, you must learn to accept and embrace all that is given to you. You are changing, my child, and yet you hide these changes behind a veil. They are buried at the back of your mind, and you do your best to keep the covered."

I looked away as she shifted the conversation to my changing body, unable to hold eye contact with her as she searched my mind for answers.

"I do not want to change," I whispered, my voice becoming hoarse with emotion. As I fought to hold back tears, I felt Galadriel lay a hand upon mine and give them a gentle squeeze. Looking back up, I caught her gaze and broke down, the tears flowing freely down my cheeks.

"What's happening to me? Why is this happening to me?" I sobbed, closing my eyes, embarrassed and afraid. What if I was never able to go home? What if the Valar chose to keep me here forever? Thinking back to the brief conversation that I had had with them through the Mirror, I tried to remember what they had said to me. There had to be an answer hidden in their words somewhere. One of them, Estë, had told me that she had wished to bring me here, to get rid of my sadness. _Hah. Yeah right. It's not working so well, is it?_

"I am afraid that I do not have the answers to your questions, Christa. Though I feel a change within your soul. By means beyond my knowledge, I believe that you are becoming immortal."

My eyes snapped back up to meet hers, my vision blurry. "Do you mean to say that I am becoming an… elf?" I asked, incredulously. Surely I had misunderstood something here. Galadriel's eyes hid nothing from me, nor did they imply that I was wrong in my guess.

"I find it hard to understand myself. Never before have I seen such a thing," she paused, watching my reaction. I couldn't form words anymore. I could only sit and listen to the elf speaking in front of me, telling me the impossible. "You have changed before my very eyes, before your own eyes, Christa. You carried many scars into this world, and yet they have now faded. I have seen this in your mind. I wish that I was able to console you, yet I have no answers for you."

I found myself staring dumbly at her across the table, the tears frozen on my face. I had stopped sobbing and now sat silently on the chair, unable to move, to speak, to think. I simply sat there, frozen in shock and confusion. After several long moments, I felt Galadriel leave my mind, and this brought me back. Blinking slowly, I felt an eerie calm fall over me like a blanket as my eyes focused once again on the blonde figure before me. Galadriel offered me a reassuring smile, though I was unable to return the gesture.

Pushing the chair away from the table, I silently rose to my feet and excused myself, my voice sounding unusually calm considering the news I had just received. As she nodded in understanding, I turned on my heel and made my way out of the small room, my feet carrying me quickly through the large chamber and through the set of double doors. I strode past the guards and started on my way back up towards my own lodgings. I wasn't sure what to think of this anymore. I now knew for certain that there was absolutely nothing that I nor anyone I knew could do for me. I would just have to wait it out, deal with whatever this world chose to throw at me.

 _I'm here because I was sad, and yet I feel more depressed now than I have for a very long time._ Shaking my head slowly as I climbed the last few stairs up to my platform, I lowered my chin and started at my feet. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I did not even notice my friend standing at the top of the stairs. He called out to me, concern etched in his voice, but my mind passed right over him, not even registering that he was talking to me. I strode right by him and into my flet, closing the door behind me.

Collapsing into the chair at the corner of my room, I stared out through the window at the golden canopy. _I'm here because Estë wanted to see me happy._ I ran the thought through my head one final time, and that's when I felt as though I had solved a riddle of sorts. _When I find happiness, I'll get to go home._ A soft knocking on my door made me turn my attention away from the window and back across the room towards the sound. Clearing my throat, I pushed my thoughts away.

"Come in," I called softly, hoping that my emotions wouldn't show through my voice. _I need to be positive from now on. This moping around certainly won't help if that is indeed how I'm going to be getting home._

With a gentle creek, the doorknob turned and the door swung open slowly. I looked up to meet Haldir's worried gaze and smiled in welcome. He returned the smile, though I could tell that he knew that I was most definitely wearing mine for show. As his eyes turned towards last night's dress that lay sprawled across my bed, I felt my cheeks go pink.

"Thank you, for making sure I got back here all right last night," I started. Haldir nodded and made his way further into the room, taking the seat beside mine.

"It was no trouble at all. Though you objected quite strongly to leaving at first, you very nearly fell asleep before you were even in your bed," he chuckled and I blushed deeper. _Damn my pale skin._

"How are you feeling?" Haldir raised his brows in question. For a moment I felt my jaw tense, unsure as to how I should answer, but after a brief moment I realised that he was talking about how much wine I had consumed the night before.

"Strangely enough, I feel fine. I slept until at least noon, and at first I had an awful headache. But it seems to have vanished," I replied, finding that my friend wore an equally surprised expression as I did.

"I must say I'm quite impressed. You must have had enough wine to make an elf slightly off, and yet you have recovered remarkably well," he mused, a grin plastered on his face.

"'Eh, well, it was pretty bad this morning, like I said," I pointed out, feeling slightly uncomfortable now that I had been reminded of my presumed mortality. After what Galadriel had told me, I had no doubt that my quickly cured hangover was a result of my changing body.

"I take that to mean that you are well enough for your lessons, then?" Haldir asked with a grin, his eyes shining. Mirroring his enthusiasm, I nodded. Haldir quickly left me to change and as soon as I was dressed in my tunic and leggings, we headed down to the training field.

The next few days passed by uneventfully, the autumn chill seeming to become greater with each passing moon. On this particular morning, the grass was covered in a fine layer of frost which crunched beneath my shoes as a jogged around the city. Though I was still having a hard time coming to terms with Galadriel's words, I had learned that the only way that I was going to get through this was if I got used to my new body. And so today I was pushing my limits, seeing how far I could run. I had already made it twice around the city before my legs began to protest, and even so I was closing in on finishing the third lap. Though exhaustion was spreading over my body, my breathing was still fairly steady, as were my legs. After the third lap, I decided that I would see how long I could manage at a faster pace. Pushing myself to the very limit, I sped up, my legs carrying me across the grass. I made it to the marketplace before I had to stop, my lungs only now starting to become overwhelmed. Pulling up to a walk, I raised a hand to my brow and wiped away my hair that had become stuck to my forehead before tightening my loosened ponytail. Reaching down to my belt, I unscrewed my water skin and took a few sips, sighing as the cool liquid slid down my throat.

Not wanting to waste the morning away walking the rest of the way around the city, I decided to cut through the marketplace, despite my gross appearance. Fortunately, the place seemed fairly vacant, with only a few vendors starting to set up their shops for the day. Despite the elves never seeming to need much rest, I had discovered that they enjoyed spending their nights that they weren't attending feats in peaceful solitude.

It didn't take me too long to arrive back at my flet. Stripping from my sweaty clothes, I hopped straight into my bathtub as soon as the water had been heated up enough. As I scrubbed at my hair, I stared absent-mindedly down at my body. I had been trying so hard to see my body in a new light. It was a blessing, really, but I was only just starting to get over thinking of it as a curse. A reminder that my old body had been undesirable, and that I hadn't done anything to deserve it other than falling into a strange new world.

"No, that's not true," I said aloud, interrupting my negative thoughts. "I did work for this body. I've been running every day, and eating very well." Though I did suppose that I owed much of my stamina to my changing body, there was no denying that I had successfully motivated myself to live a more active lifestyle. "When I do get home, whenever that turns out to be, there's no way that I'm letting myself ruin my body like that again." I mused as I rinsed my hair.

I was soon finished bathing and had dressed myself in one of the many dresses that had accumulated in my closet. Even though most of them had been given to me by the Lady Galadriel, I was proud to say that I had spent some of my hard-earned gold having one made myself. I was especially fond of that dress, and if the elves were anything like the girls that I had gone to high school with, I was sure that I would have been made fun of for outfit repeating. I wore that dress at least once a week.

I had picked out the fabric myself, in exactly the shade of royal blue that had been my favourite colour for many years. It had been the colour that I had chosen for my horse, Eclipse. Anything that I could find in his colour, I would snatch up. I had grown accustomed to the long sleeves of the elven gowns, and despite their cumbersome nature, I had opted to add them to the dress' design for the sole purpose of fitting in. I had not, however, taken a particular liking to the restrictiveness of the tight bodices that most of my dresses had. Therefore, this dress was simply designed with a sort of padded system that worked like a sports bra, and made me feel much less constricted.

Now, dressed in my gown, I pulled on my cloak and headed out the door to grab some breakfast. I had arranged to meet with Haldir at the Hall, and afterwards we were going to head out for a walk. I had resolved to try and learn as much as possible about the current goings on around Middle Earth, and hoped that my friend knew enough to give me an idea of when exactly the Fellowship would be setting out.

I practically skipped down the stairs, eager to see Haldir and fill my stomach. I couldn't deny that it was certainly nice to be feeling energetic, even after my hard workout not even an hour ago. _Only think of the positives._ I smiled to myself as I reached the bottom of the staircase and made my way to the Hall at a brisk walk. It didn't take me long to arrive at the Hall, and as I pulled off my hood, I spotted Haldir and made my way over to where he was sitting with his Orophin and a couple of other Galadhrim. Though I had been introduced to them before, there were so many of them that I found it impossible to remember each of their names.

I greeted the small gathering with a nod and a smile as I passed them. I returned a few moments later with my breakfast and took the seat next to Haldir, which he pulled out for me.

"Thanks," I grinned as I sat down, setting my food down on the table in front of me. "Good morning," I greeted the four men in my company, before diving in to my breakfast. As I ate, the men around me chatted about life at the border, and I assumed that the two whom I couldn't remember their names had just returned from the border. _It's probably weird to everyone else that I spend most of my time here with men._ I mused as I ate. _Well, male elves, I guess. Wasn't there a made-up name for them? Ellyn or something along those lines?_ I shook my head subconsciously. _I never liked that word. Men they are._

"Christa?"

My thoughts were interrupted and I turned to look at Haldir, who was eyeing me curiously. "Sorry, what was that? I was in my own little world there," I chuckled at his amused expression.

"My brother had asked how your training is going," Haldir responded with a small grin. I bit my lip in embarrassment and turned to look at Orophin, who was also grinning.

"Sorry," I laughed. "It's going great, Haldir's taught me a lot." I said, not really sure what else to say on the subject. It wasn't like there was a whole lot to say. I wasn't even using a weapon or anything, just my hands.

"That's wonderful. I never expected my brother to be training a mortal woman," he teased, turning towards Haldir.

"Yes, well, she is not ordinary woman. Quite peculiar, if you ask me," Haldir took a playful jab at me and I snorted out of habit as if to solidify his claim, my embarrassment forgotten.

The rest of breakfast passed by quickly, and soon the Hall had all but emptied out, leaving us few stragglers behind. After cleaning away our dishes, Orophin and the two other elves headed off in their own directions, while Haldir and I set out for our walk.

Since the _Enderi_ feast, Haldir had made no further indications of his feelings for me. Other than my clear memory of him kissing my forehead that night, I had found no evidence that supported Rúmil's claim. And so we had continued to act as nothing more than close friends, to my immense relief.

"You seem especially cheerful these past few days," Haldir spoke up as we strolled down the gravel path.

"Well, I've always loved autumn. It was always my favourite season back home, but here it is even more magnificent than anything I ever could have imagined," I spoke the first words that came to mind and smiled as the breeze ruffled my cloak, prompting me to pull my cloak up tighter around my neck.

"I do not think that that is the only reason," the Marchwarden glanced over at me, one eyebrow raised and a small grin at his lips.

"What do you mean?" I questioned him, sincerely perplexed by his comment.

"You seem far less troubled than you were a mere week ago. Yesterday you put in more effort than I thought imaginable at your training, and you seem to glow. To radiate joy," Haldir mused, his eyes straying back to the forest before us.

"What?" I chuckled nervously, though I knew full well why he would think that. It was true, after all. I had decided to try and be less negative about my life. I had accepted that all I could to was wait for this whole mess to work itself out, and no matter how terrifying it turned out to be, or how long it was going to take, being all sad and down about it wasn't going to get me home any faster. _It would slow me down,_ I reminded myself for the millionth time.

"Never mind," Haldir said with a small grin. I shifted my gaze to his face, giving him a curious look before deciding that it was probably best to simply drop the topic.

"What prompted you to ride so far from Caras Galadhon, anyways?" he asked me suddenly, and I felt myself tense slightly at his random question.

"I, um… I needed to some time to think. About… things," I sputtered, instantly regretting opening my mouth. I turned back to face my friend again, this time to be met with a concerned look. "It's nothing to worry about," I said, though I couldn't help but feel like I was lying. _It's a pretty big deal, you know, that Galadriel says I'm turning into a freaking elf._ My answer obviously did not satisfy him, and though he did not press the question, I could tell that it was bothering him that I would hide anything from him.

 _What the Hell… Would it really hurt anything if I told him?_ I really did want to share my troubles with him. He had been my friend through everything so far, and had never left my side or done anything but support me.

"Haldir, I… I have something that I need to tell you," I said slowly, hoping that I wasn't about to break some huge rule that the Valar had simply forgotten to tell me about.

"You may tell me anything, Christa," Haldir replied, his brow creasing in concern.

"It's probably best if we found somewhere more, uh, secluded. I don't want anyone but you hearing what I have to say," I whispered, not wanting to be heard, though I knew that it was likely that every elf in the vicinity had heard my words. Haldir nodded in understanding and led me away from the bustle of the main street. We weaved through the trees and eventually came upon a small clearing. A small stream meandered along the forest floor, and we took a seat on a large, smooth boulder along its bank. Taking a deep breath, I looked at Haldir. If he was truly to be trusted, he would believe me.

"At the beginning of the week, I went to visit with the Lady Galadriel. I needed to discuss something… urgent with her," I started before pausing, nervous. _Here goes nothing._ "I've changed since I got here. A lot. And, well, Galadriel seems to think that, somehow, I'm becoming an elf," I spat out the last few words quickly, afraid that I would be too scared to speak them. My eyes never left his as I waited nervously for his response. _There, I said it. No turning back now. You've done it, Christa. You're going to be shunned and called a freak. Or worse… What if-_

"How is this possible?"

I stared at him in silence, too scared to speak. It wasn't until I felt Haldir take my hands in his own that I was able to answer him.

"I don't know," I murmured, suddenly feeling as though I was about to cry. But I didn't. I held the tears back, and the urge was gone within a moment. Haldir squeezed my hands and leaned in closer, our foreheads nearly touching.

"And this is why you fled?" He spoke gently, his eyes never leaving mine. It was then that I noticed that they were filled with concern. With… hurt? I nodded, feeling even more ashamed this time around than I had when he had first scolded me for my reckless behaviour.

"I did not mean to ride so far… I was so caught up in my emotions that I didn't realise how far I had gone. By the time I realised how much trouble I was in, it was already too late and-"I faltered as the memories came flashing back. The sharp pain in my side, the horrible sound of the orcs laughing and jeering as they prepared to murder me…

"Christa, do not go back to dark thoughts. It is in the past, you are safe now," Haldir said reassuringly, pulling my hands closer. Overcome with emotions, both happy and sad, I found myself leaning forward into the comfort of his chest. Closing my eyes, I let the tears roll down my cheeks. Only this time, they were tears of happiness. For I knew now, beyond any doubt, that I had found a true friend in Haldir.

 _Hey guys! Sorry about the wait for this chapter. I had very good intentions on getting this written and posted over a week ago, but life has its way of ruining those good intentions. I had a hard week. We had to say good bye to our family dog last Sunday, and on top of that, my pony pulled up lame at our horse show this past Sunday. He's doing much better now, but two less than stellar Sundays had me feeling pretty down. Thankfully though, I managed to sit down tonight and finish what I had started days ago, and I was determined to finish it today! Hope you all enjoyed it! As always, remember to review! Many thanks to all of my fallowers and faithful reviewers! You all make my day!_

 _-Eru_


	10. Chapter 10

_Wow, chapter 10 already! It's a little bit shorter than previous chapters, but I hope you guys enjoy it!_

* * *

 **Chapter 10:**

I leaned back on a pile of hay with my eyes closed, basking in the sunlight that streamed through the window of the barn. The peaceful sound of the horses munching on their hay was like music to my ears and brought a smile to my lips. The only thing that could have made this better was if I had a Mike's to sip on. I couldn't be bothered to look up as I heard the soft sound of boots on the cobblestones interrupting the otherwise perfect ambiance of the barn. I assumed that it was probably one of the stable hands and that they would soon be gone, but as the footfalls came to a stop next to where I was lounging, I figured I had better look.

Opening one eye, I squinted against the sun and was surprised to see Haldir looking down at me, amused.

"Oh! Haldir, I wasn't expecting to see you here!" I laughed as I sat up, picking a few pieces of hay from my hair before giving up. Haldir had seen me in far worse states, so I didn't really care if I was less than presentable. Haldir chuckled as well before offering me a hand. Though I didn't really feel like moving from my bed of hay, I took his hand and stood up beside him. "What are you doing here anyways? Are you leaving?" I asked, suddenly feeling disappointed that he might be running off again already. He had told me that he wasn't due to head back to the border for another couple of days.

"No, it is nothing like that," he shook his head, smiling. "Your lodgings were vacant," he stated simply.

"So you figured that I would be here," I said with a grin. He nodded in confirmation. "Did you change your mind about giving me the day off?" I said, trying to conceal the disappointment in my voice. I had worked hard yesterday, and had been overjoyed to hear that today would be a day for me to rest.

"Actually, no," he winked. "I came to ask you if you would like to accompany me on a ride."

I raised an eyebrow in surprise. "What's the special occasion? I've been here for a while and never have you suggested that before," I replied, wondering what his reasoning was.

"Funny you should ask. I did not think that you would forget about your own date of birth," Haldir said with a teasing grin.

"Oh!" I paused in surprise. How had I managed that? "Well, we never were able to figure out the exact date, so I guess it just slipped my mind."

"I had intentions of asking for permission to hold a small celebration, however I was pressed for time and that idea did not come to fruition."

I stared at my friend, stifling a giggle. He had meant to plan a celebration for the sole occasion of my 20th birthday? "Thanks, Haldir. Though in all honesty, I've always preferred keeping a low profile." I paused. "And yes, I would love to go on a ride with you!"

* * *

It didn't take long for us to saddle up our horses. Faenelin seemed overjoyed to be heading out for a ride, and I realised with sadness that I hadn't been able to put aside nearly enough time lately for the aging mare. She certainly was not showing her age today, and pranced around lively as I tightened the cinch and mounted up. Haldir was in the saddle moments before me, astride a great grey stallion. I had learnt most of the horses' names, but this one had slipped my mind. _Too many grey horses here._ _They must be a nightmare to keep clean._ As soon as we were mounted and ready to go, we set out from the stables at a brisk trot.

Haldir picked a trail that I had not yet had a chance to explore, one to the far east of the pastures. Faenelin snorted as we trotted down the path, her steps lively. We rode along the path quietly, both of us content to enjoy the serenity of the autumn forest. The golden leaves danced around us in the breeze, shimmering in the sunlight. No matter how many times I had stopped to admire them ever since I had arrived, the beauty of the golden mallorn leaves would never grow old for me.

We must have ridden for nearly 20 minutes before Haldir broke the silence, asking me if I wanted to canter. With an enthusiastic nod, we shot off down the trail, silver and brunette hair whipping back in the wind. Though I didn't want to push Faenelin too hard, the fiery mare had a mind of her own, racing right alongside the much younger stallion as if to impress him. I did my best told hold her back, but I felt better about letting her go than hauling on her mouth, so on she ran.

We only pulled up once we reached a spot in the woods where the sun shone down through a large gap in the canopy above. Slowing to a walk, we let our horses have a loose rein while we made our way down into a shallow valley, weaving our way through the boulders and trees.

"We are nearly there," Haldir said suddenly. I gave him a curious glance, but he provided me with no further answer. Shrugging my shoulders, I followed the big grey stallion and his rider down the rest of the hill. _I guess we'll find out where 'there' is when we get there._

It soon became apparent to me where exactly 'there' was. Once we had climbed down the hill, we found ourselves climbing right back up the other side. When we reached the top, I was met by a beautiful sight. We pulled up our mounts as I took in the view before me.

The hill we were standing on gave way once again to another small valley, though this one was dotted with mallorn trees. A river fed by a small waterfall at the west end of the valley zig-zagged across the grass, running into a small lake before disappearing off the side of a cliff at the east end. The autumn sun reflected on the scene before me, making it glimmer in hues of silver and gold. Even the grass seemed to sparkle.

I was so awestruck that I wasn't aware that I had a hand covering my gaping mouth until Haldir began to chuckle. Immediately lowering my hand and closing my mouth, I flushed in embarrassment and let out a laugh of my own.

"Wow…" I started, truly lost for words. "Haldir, this is beautiful!" I exclaimed after a moment, unable to think of anything else to say.

"I is, isn't it?" He said with a smile, before nudging his horse forward down the hill. "Come, let us find a spot to rest."

* * *

It hadn't taken us very long to find a nice spot to rest our horses. We had traveled a short distance along the river before choosing a spot just off of the lake where the trees provided just enough shelter to keep us out of the sun. The grass grew long and waved in the breeze, and the horses were quick to trot away to graze as soon as we turned them loose. I had at first been hesitant to let Faenelin loose in the valley, but Haldir had assured me that they were trained to come when called, so I had removed her bridle and saddle and set her free. Haldir had done the same with his mount, and now they were about 50 feet off from where we set on the shore of the lake, swishing away the flies as they grazed.

I couldn't think of the last time that I had felt so liberated. The valley was the essence of serenity, with not a soul nearby other than Haldir. I hadn't even bothered to question the safety of the area, since I couldn't imagine how a place filled with so much beauty could ever hold evils.

Removing my boots, I lowered my feet into the water, dragging them back and forth and watching as the ripples danced on the surface. It wouldn't be too long now before the warm days such as this one would be gone, and winter would be upon the Golden Wood. I knew that here they did not see snow, and I hoped that the temperatures would not drop too much. _Not like I'm not used to freezing cold winters or anything. Nova Scotia was nice and cozy under 4 feet of snow last winter._

"I'm so glad that you chose to show me this," I said, staring out across the lake. The sun had climbed higher than I had expected, and was now resting just above the Misty Mountains in the distance. It was my first true glimpse at anything beyond the trees of Lothlórien, and came as a real shock to me. They seemed so insanely far away now, but looking at them on a map in relation to Lothlórien made them seem but a few days journey on foot. Now, I was doubting any sense of distance that I had ever established while watching the movies.

"I'm glad that you agreed to accompany me. You seemed quite comfortable on that pile of hay," Haldir teased, and though I didn't turn to look at him, I could hear the mirth in his voice.

"Well, it was nice, but this is much better," I said, gesturing to the valley around me before turning towards my friend. Haldir had a looked more content than I had ever seen him back in the city. I supposed that he must be feeling the same way that I was; carefree and completely at ease, the worries of heading back to the border far from his current thoughts.

We sat there for a long while, watching the breeze die down and the water become still and smooth as polished glass. The sun slowly continued to make its way closer and closer towards the peaks of the mountains, until eventually it began to disappear along the horizon, turning the autumn sky to brilliant shades of pink and purple. We spoke little, content to watch the coming of nightfall in peaceful silence.

As the last rays of the sun disappeared behind the Misty Mountains, the warmth of the day went with it. Wrapping my arms around my torso, I shivered slightly.

"It's going to be dark soon," I spoke up softly after a moment, hesitant to break the silence. Haldir had seemed lost in his thoughts and turned to me now, noticing me as I hugged myself.

"Here, take this. It is of no use to me this evening," Haldir said, removing the grey cloak that he had been wearing. I accepted it gratefully, pulling it on and fastening the brooch to the side of my neck. Scooting closer to my friend, I laid my head on his shoulder. I knew we should be making our way back, but I really didn't want to leave the valley.

"I almost wish we had brought camping stuff. I would give up my bed for a night like this under the stars," I mused aloud as I tilted my head up towards the sky, just barely able to pick out the few stars that had begun to appear in the purple twilight above us. _We'd just need a campfire and some marshmallows and it would be perfect._ Haldir chuckled and I sat up as I felt him shift beneath my head.

"Perhaps we will have to arrange for that," my friend said as he rose to his feet. Reluctantly, I pulled my boots onto my now dry feet and followed suite, rising to stand beside him as he lifted a hand to his lips and whistled low.

I had forgotten all about the two horses, and as I turned around, I saw that they were nowhere to be seen. With a worried glance at Haldir, I turned back to the valley before me, my eyes scanning the field for any signs of them. My worry was for nothing, for soon I saw the two grey horses come galloping across the grass, their ears pricked forward in answer to Haldir's call. I smiled in amazement as the two horses slowed to a trot before stopping in front of us, their nostrils flared in excitement.

"I hope you two weren't up to anything!" I teased the mare as she nudged me gently with her nose, thinking of how long she had been alone with the stallion. If Haldir knew what I meant by that, he didn't react, and for that I was somewhat relieved. No matter how hard I had tried to adjust my way of speaking, sometimes when I was with Haldir, less than appropriate things still slipped out. I guess it's because I saw Haldir as such a great friend, that he made me feel at home in this strange place.

We were soon mounted and climbing back out of the valley, the last light of the day illuminating the path before us. We kept our horses at a walk and rode silently, both reluctant to leave the serenity of the valley behind us. Though night soon fell, the full moon shone brightly and gave our horses plenty of light to see the ground beneath their hooves.

"You will be leaving tomorrow, won't you?" I broke the silence, tilting my head in his direction though never taking my eyes off of the road. I could see the barn around the next corner, the faint glimmer of the lanterns that had been left lit illuminating the courtyard. It seemed that we arrived back at the stables much too soon, and it made me sad to have to go without the company of my friend yet again.

"Aye. I will be on patrol for three weeks," he replied, a hint of resentment on his tongue. "I fear war is brewing, Christa. More and more orcs have been spotted crossing our lands, and though those who have been spotted have been hunted down, I fear there are many more that have not dared to venture so close to our borders."

I pursed my lips. War was definitely coming, and it wasn't too far off now. How long until it would reach Lothlórien? I couldn't tell, Haldir, even if I did know for sure how long they had to prepare.

"Be safe," I said quietly after a moment's pause. I was unsure what else to say on the matter, and preferred to simply sweep it under the rug, at least for the time being. _Perhaps I'll be home before the war starts._

We soon rode into the courtyard, the horses' shod feet clattering loudly in the still of the night. We dismounted quickly and led the horses inside. I was starting to feel the day's adventures taking their toll on me, and yawned as I began to untack Faenelin. Haldir noticed and we shared a laugh before finishing up. Once we had made sure that the two horses were bedded down comfortably for the night, we extinguished the lanterns and started off back towards our flets.

"Elves do not sleep often, do they?" I wondered aloud as we strolled through the city. I hadn't spent much time out and about during the night, but I had always seemed to notice that the amount of activity never seemed to die down simply because the sun had set. Haldir shook his head, smiling.

"No, not often. I would not call it sleep, either, for we are able to rest our minds even when awake. A rested mind means a rested body. When we do 'sleep', as you would call it, we do so with our eyes open, and we travel to a world of dreams. But that is only when we are particularly exhausted, for we tire far slower than any other race" Haldir explained, ever eager to tell me about the lives of his kin.

"I wish that I had as much energy as you elves," I said, attempting to stifle another yawn but quickly giving up. I caught Haldir grinning as I blinked.

"Is there any other gift that you would ask of me?" Haldir spoke up after a moment of quiet. I turned to him, one eyebrow raised in question.

"You already gave me a wonderful gift, Haldir. I couldn't have asked for a better birthday," I replied, smiling in honest thanks. "Really, thank you. I loved it."

"It pales in comparison to that which I had planned on giving you."

"Honestly, like I said earlier, I much preferred the ride," I offered him a smile, hoping that he would believe me.

"You're sure?" He asked me, seemingly slightly relieved. I nodded my head briskly. "Very well," he grinned and turned his attention back ahead of him as we began to make our way up the first set of stairs.

After a trek that seemed twice as long as normal, we reached my quarters. As I reached up to undo the clasp and remove Haldir's cloak from my shoulders, Haldir stopped me, taking my hands in his own.

"Won't you need it at the border?" I questioned him, raising my eyes to look up at him.

"I have another. You may keep this one," he smiled, and I lowered my hands, my own mouth curling into a smile.

"Thank you," I said gently, caught slightly off guard by my friend's generosity, but thankful none the less. "And thank you again for the lovely ride."

"You are most welcome, Christa. I thoroughly enjoyed my time spent with you this evening," Haldir said warmly, lifting my hand up to his lips and kissing it gently. Unable to help myself at his insistence of this formality, I laughed lightly.

"You know that you don't need to be so formal with me anymore, right?" I grinned as he lowered my hand, brushing off my comment. I swear that he nearly rolled his eyes at me. _I'm brushing off on him._

"I shall return in three weeks' time. Please, do your best to stay out of trouble. I do not wish to find you in such a situation again," Haldir became serious, cocking an eyebrow. I flushed, knowing that he didn't want to have to bail on his job to save me again.

"Don't worry, I won't be going anywhere," I chuckled, and his expression softened. Though the incident still caused me to shiver, I had shaken off the actual fear of the flashbacks. My training with Haldir had certainly helped to make me feel a bit better about myself, but I knew that I would sure as Hell be in big trouble if I was to ever find myself in such a situation again. At that thought, an idea popped into my head. "Haldir?"

"Yes?"

"I don't suppose that you would be willing to, ah, teach me how to use a bow?" I asked, somewhat tentatively, and was relieved to see his face light up in pleasant surprise.

"You would like to learn how to shoot?" I nodded my head, enthusiastic now that he seemed to like the idea. "Very well," He said, smiling. "We will begin when I return."

* * *

 _Ah, I have to apologize yet again for the wait. I think that I should just stop saying that I'm going to try and be quick, because it almost never seems to happen haha… Oh well. I know that not much happened in this chapter, but I hope that you enjoyed reading it anyways! I am trying as best as I can to move the plot along and reach the arrival of the Fellowship, but there's only so much that I can do! So hang in there, they will be along shortly!_

 _On that note, I'm thinking that this story is going to be broken up into several parts. My guess at the moment in on two parts, but depending on how things go, it could turn out to be three. Guess we'll have to wait and see how things play out!_

 _Remember to please leave a review and let me know what you think of the story so far! Reviews make me happy and motivate me to write faster! Thanks for reading!_

 _-Eru_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:**

The satisfying _thud_ of the arrow wedging itself into its target made my heart leap in joy.

"Did I hit it?" I asked, failing to suppress my excitement as I squinted across the field, trying to figure out where the arrow had gone.

"Yes," Haldir said from over my shoulder and I grinned wide. "You hit the correct tree, at least."

"Shoot," I said, my spirits falling a little in realisation that I still had not been able to sink an arrow into the target. Resting a hand on my shoulder, Haldir gave it a pat, reassuring me.

"Do not fret. It will take time. Come, let us go and retrieve your arrows, and then we should make our way back for dinner."

Slinging my practice bow over my shoulder, I jogged a couple steps to catch up with Haldir and we strode across the field. The target was only about 20 metres away, but I was still having an extremely hard time steadying my hand enough to hit the target. _This was a lot easier in gym class._ I huffed in frustration as we arrived at the target and began to search for the many arrows that had been fired past the trees.

"Do not let your aim frustrate you," Haldir spoke encouragingly as he yanked an arrow from the ground beyond the target. "You have a strong arm, for you are more than able to make the distance. Many of your arrows are wedged in the trees. Only one did not travel fast enough to pierce the bark." I listened attentively as I plucked yet another arrow from a tree behind the intended target tree.

I had woken at the crack of dawn, eager to begin my archery lessons and see my friend for the first time in three weeks. Haldir had acquired a simple bow and a quiver full of arrows for me to practice with, and we had made our way to the practice range quickly, for Haldir had been able to sense my anticipation. It was now nearing noon, and my patience was waning. As hard as I was trying to remind myself that it would take a lot of time and hard work to be as good as I hoped to become, I had been envisioned this morning's sessions going better than it had. Sighing, I pulled the last of my arrows from the trees and tucked it into the quiver fastened on my back.

"You have worked hard today. Try not to be so hard on yourself, these things take time and practice," Haldir offered me a smile of encouragement as he handed me the arrows that he had collected from the woods.

"Yeah, lots of time and practice," I muttered, tucking the arrows into my quiver, before glancing back towards Haldir and offering him a smile. "Don't worry though, I might not look like I'm enjoying myself, but I really am having fun." As bad as I was at archery, I had to admit that drawing back the bowstring and feeling the sheer power as I released an arrow was quite a thrill. Even if said arrow failed to hit its intended target, it was still a rush.

Over the next few weeks, I feel once again into a new routine. I had begun to get used to rising with the sun, and was out of bed at the crack of dawn each morning for my run. After weeks of steady exercise, I had worked up to four laps every morning, pushing myself until my legs and my lungs could take no more. After heading back up to my quarters for a warm bath to shake the chill of the autumn air, it was down for breakfast. The rest of my mornings I spent at the archery range, sometimes without Haldir's guidance when he was busy with other matters. After lunch came my self-defence lessons, though these had become less and less frequent as my skills improved. Haldir had recently deemed my skills satisfactory and we now met to simply keep them sharp. The rest of my days were spent mostly at the stables with Hérion, helping to take care of the horses, and occasionally even assisting with their training. I didn't get to help out a whole lot with that, since I had no clue how to prepare a horse for a battle, but I did manage to persuade Hérion to let me get some of the young horses used to carrying weight on their backs, and teaching them some simple voice commands.

It was on the first day of _Rhîw_ when my hard work at the archery range finally paid off. I could barely believe my eyes as I heard the unmistakable sound of the arrow embedding itself into the wooden target. Unable to contain my excitement, I jogged across the grass and stopped in front of the tree, a huge grin plastered on my face. Sure enough, there was my arrow, sticking out from the outermost ring of the target.

"I hit the target, I hit the target, not just the tree-ee," I sang quietly to myself as I did a little dance in the grass before the tree. Deciding to leave it there for Haldir to see, I collected the other arrows that I had already shot and popped them back into my quiver before running back to where I had left my bow.

Eager to see how long I could make my luck last, I picked up my bow and drew another arrow. I quickly nocked it and raised my arms up, staring down the shaft at the centre of the target. Double-checking my stance, I took a deep breath to steady myself and loosened my fingers, holding my breath until I heard the arrow sink into the wood. _I hit it again!_ I was sure of it. I fired off the rest of my arrows, trying to push myself to not be so slow about it, but at the same time making sure that I took the time to aim straight. As soon as the last arrow leapt from my bowstring, I was off across the field.

I could hardly believe my eyes as I neared the tree. There, at the centre of the target, was one of my arrows, its white feathers ruffling slightly in the cool breeze. Around it were several other arrows, planted firmly in the other rings of the target. I didn't care at all that the other arrows had either missed the target, or the tree completely. I had gotten a _bullseye_!

"No way!" I squealed, unable to contain my excitement. Once I had stopped dancing around in glee, I stood, dumbfounded, wondering what to do now. I couldn't bring myself to pull them out. _Where's modern technology when you need it?_ Oh what I would have done for a camera. Hell, even my lame little cell phone camera would have been enough for me. Unable to bring myself to remove the arrows, I decided that I needed to show Haldir.

"He'd never believe me," I chuckled to myself, picking up my failed shots before making my way back towards the city to find my friend.

Thankfully, he wasn't too difficult to find. As luck would have it, I came across him on my way through the market. Clasping his hand firmly, I practically dragged him back through the woods, refusing to tell him what I was so excited about until we broke into the clearing. I continued to run across the grass, my mouth beginning to hurt from the huge grin that I was wearing. Haldir was laughing now, having figured out the source of my glee.

"Look! I hit the target!" I sang victoriously as we neared the treeline, letting go of his hand to point to the arrow at the centre of the target.

"I can see that," Haldir replied, giving me a congratulatory pat on the back. "And with a fine shot, at that," he added, advancing to examine the arrows. "You are learning quicker than I had expected."

"I am?" I laughed, thinking he must have been joking. It had taken me three weeks to even hit the target. Chances were pretty good that the bullseye had resulted purely from some combination of luck the slight breeze that was wafting through the clearing. I was met with a simple nod from Haldir, and raised an eyebrow sceptically. "It was probably just a lucky shot."

"Perhaps," he nodded again, turning to face me with a teasing smile. "Or perhaps you have taken my instructions to heart and have finally put the pieces together." I had nothing to say in reply to that, and for a moment I wondered if I really could be improving, finally.

"Where do you think I should go from here?"

Haldir paused now, studying me for a moment, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Come, shoot for me again. Let us see if your theory is, in fact, true." I swallowed hard at his suggestion, suddenly not liking the idea of having to shoot with him watching. But I nodded my head in agreement and, after plucking the arrows from the target, followed the Marchwarden.

I was soon standing in my usual spot, bow in my left hand, staring across the field at the target which now seemed miles away. With a short glance in Haldir's direction, I drew an arrow and nocked it quickly before taking a deep breath to calm the butterflies in my stomach. I wasn't sure why it suddenly seemed so imperative that I get a good shot. Haldir had stood by my side and watched me miss countless times, but I guess the fact that I had just shot a bullseye was making me feel pressured to have another good round.

Staring down the shaft of the arrow, I focused my sights on the middle of the target at the other end of the range. Double-checking my stance, I steadied myself, feeling slightly unnerved that Haldir had taken on the role of silent observer as opposed to encouraging teacher. Blinking twice, I shifted my thoughts back towards the target, putting my full concentration into staring at the tiny circle at the centre. _Am I in the right spot?_ The target seemed closer all of a sudden, but Haldir hadn't said anything about it. _No, I'm in the right spot, I'm sure of it._ I suddenly realised that I had already been aiming at the target for way too long, and with one final breath to clear my mind, I released the arrow. It landed with a satisfying _thud_ in the second innermost ring of the target.

I wanted to dance for joy, but I opted to reach for another one of my arrows instead. If I could pull at least a few more decent shots out of this quiver, then I could maybe have a little celebration. _One good shot's not enough to prove yourself, Christa._ I nocked my second arrow and refused to let my thoughts sway to how easy it seemed to aim at the middle of the target compared to earlier. Instead, I quickly steadied myself and let the arrow fly, watching in near disbelief as it hit the same ring as the first arrow. _That's no bullseye, but holy crap! I hit the target again!_ I continued like this, not allowing myself another moment to think about my score, or about my friend watching over my shoulder. I just let loose arrow after arrow, watching as every single one of them hit some part of the target, snaking steadily closer and closer to the centre. Finally, I pulled the last arrow from my quiver and took my aim, releasing it quickly, pushing myself to not take so much time to steady myself.

 _Please be on the target, please be on the target._ I opened my eyes and stared in disbelief across the field. Even from where I stood, I could see clear as day that my final shot had sunk itself deeply into the centre of the target. I had done it again!

I felt myself swell up with pride as I gaped openly at my shots. I couldn't believe that I hadn't missed a single shot, let alone that I had managed to shoot my second bullseye of the day! Suddenly remembering the silent elf who stood behind me, I turned to him, careful to hide my ecstasy. As happy as I was with my score, I wasn't exactly sure what Haldir had been expecting from me. I was relieved to see that he was smiling widely, obviously quite surprised. There might have even been some pride hiding somewhere in his face, but I wasn't sure. Still, his facial expression was positive enough that I couldn't help but drop my mask and beam across at him.

"Well, mellon, I do not think it possible to achieve so much by mere chance," Haldir spoke up, turning his head. I followed his gaze towards the trees and grinned even wider. I had no words of reply, so I simply giggled in giddy excitement. I stared at my arrows, not even caring about how strange it was to be able to suddenly see them like I was standing 20 feet closer. I was too ecstatic to care about anything except that I had managed to impress my friend.

Haldir turned back to face me then, looking at me intently. Taking a step closer, he lifted a hand and placed it gently under my chin. Confused by this sudden gesture, my grin faltered and I furrowed my brows slightly in confusion as he looked into my eyes.

"You can see the target," he said simply, his gaze never leaving my eyes.

"Uh… Yeah. Of course I can," I retorted, not sure what to make of his examination. Haldir chuckled at this and I managed to relax slightly, realising that whatever he was going on about, it must not be too terrible or anything.

"You can see it better, as if it is closer to you."

I nodded simply, now understanding where the conversation was going. I dropped my gaze to the ground, not really interested in pursuing the topic, but Haldir pressed his fingers gently against under my chin and I lifted my eyes back up to meet his.

"Your senses will continue to improve," Haldir said, his tone gentle now that he realised that he was treading on thin ice.

"I'd rather not talk about it, Haldir," I replied, my voice faltering slightly. Haldir, however, did not drop his gaze. Instead, his eyes softened, imploring me to open myself up to him. Sighing, I felt my shoulders sag, suddenly feeling like the weight of my changing body had become too much to keep contained.

"Being able to see the target, it's new. It only just happened to me now," I said after taking a moment to gather my thoughts. Haldir nodded slowly, his gaze not leaving mine.

"I thought this. Your hesitation before you released your first arrow was plain to me."

I was only vaguely aware of the silence that fell between us, my thoughts focused on all of the changes that had suddenly surfaced to the top of my mind again. I had been doing so well, even enjoying some of my new elvish attributes. But with each new development, I felt the anxiety creeping its way back into my head, filling me with thoughts of dread.

"Mellon nin?"

I was brought back to the present as Haldir moved his hand from my chin to my cheek, cupping it softly in his palm. His gesture brought me comfort, and I closed my eyes as I felt the dam holding back my emotions begin to crack. Leaning in towards him, I wrapped my arms around his torso and nestled my face into his chest, letting the tears fall freely. I had no words to explain what I was feeling now. Haldir only hesitated for a moment before returning the gesture, pulling me closer and putting one hand behind my head, holding me tightly.

For over a month, I had managed to push aside the fear of never returning home. As much as I missed my parents, my home, and the simplicities of modern-living, I had finally come to accept that I was going to be in Middle Earth for longer than I had originally been hoping for. It had crept into my thoughts at night that there might possibly be a reason for my coming at such a pivotal moment in the history of Arda. As much as I had tried to deny it, there was little arguing that it seemed peculiar that I should arrive so soon before the beginning of the War of the Ring. The thought had scared me at first, for I really didn't want to be in a war. But Lothlorien now seemed like a safehaven for me, and I felt it impossible that any evil would ever penetrate the golden boughts of the forest.

Now that I was bawling into Haldir's chest, I felt small and defeated. As I tried to choke back the sobs, I forced every thought from my brain and focused on the earthly sweet smell of his cloak. After a while, the sobs subsided and I slowly wiggled one of my hands free to wipe my cheek. Haldir quickly took over from me, moving my hand aside and using his thumb to gently brush away the tears. As his thumb trailed on my cheek, he smiled slightly, and I found myself smiling as well, my cheeks warm at his touch.

"I'm sorry," I laughed slightly, still shaky from my outburst.

"There is no need to apologize. I understand that you are dealing with a lot right now," Haldir replied lightly. I felt the warmth in my cheeks spread as his eyes searched my own. There was something hidden in those eyes, deep inside, but I couldn't seem to find it. We stood like this for a moment, or faces just inches apart, before my gaze faltered. A shy smile crept its way onto my lips as Haldir dropped his hand, and he broke the silence before I could open my mouth. "I depart for the border again tomorrow."

"I know," I replied, shaking off the strange moment, and bowed my head slightly before willing myself not to feel down again. "I'll keep practicing," I added quickly, managing a smile as I lifted my head back up to look at my friend.

"Excellent," Haldir nodded, smiling also."Experiment with your distances. Each day, I would like you to shoot at a longer distance. When you feel that you are shooting proficiently at that distance, back up some more. I will be interested in seeing how far you can shoot from when I return in three weeks."

I nodded, grateful to have new instructions from Haldir. It was amazing how quickly Haldir had reverted back to the Marchwarden that he was after whatever had just happened a moment before. _What had happened?_ Deciding not to dwell on it, I added it to the list of things that were rushing through my mind that I did not wish to think about. My newly advanced eyesight was at the front of my mind. As I had done with each previous change, I would have to learn to embrace this development. Swallowing hard, I turned to follow Haldir as we went to collect my arrows. _And I better get used to it, because I doubt that this will be the last one._

* * *

Farther and farther back on the range I moved each day. By the one week mark I had nearly doubled my shooting range, and several times I had even been joined by a pair of young Galadhrim guards who had only started their archery training. By the second day of shooting at the same distance as them, I was besting them. I hit a bump at that point though. The two guards had soon nursed their broken egos as I found that I could back up no farther without shooting wide of the target. It took me nearly a week to gain any ground from that point, and even then I only moved about ten feet total over two days.

At the two week mark, I called it quits as the sun was starting to set, the last of the rays of light filtering through the golden boughs. I had been shooting since dawn, only now satisfied with my efforts. Jogging to the other end of the range, I quickly retrieved my arrows from the target before tucking them into my quiver and turning on my heel to leave. It had been an insanely long day, and my stomach was not at all happy with me. I could feel it rumbling as I wrapped my cloak tightly around myself and made my way towards the dining hall. The tips of my ears had become numb in the cold, even though the winters back home where far colder than anything I had been subject to in Lothlorien. Wrapping my hands around them, I quickly padded my way through the city.

The dining hall was busy as usual, the space alive with friendly chit chat and the smells of warm food. I ate quickly, eager to get myself back up to my flet for a warm bath. Wolfing down my bowl of vegetable stew, I cleaned up my dishes and was on my way once again, bounding up the many stairs. When I had finally reached my flet, I shed my gear and immediately lit the fire in the bathroom to boil the water for my bath. As soon as the water was hot, I stripped down and let myself melt into the tub, leaning back against the wooden frame.

I stayed in the bath for a long time, nearly falling asleep as the hot water eased my sore muscles and calmed my busy mind. I soon felt myself drifting off and willed myself to wash up before the water lost its heat, but couldn't bring myself to do so. I started awake what seemed like a moment later, but it was obvious from the lukewarm water that I had been asleep for quite some time. Thankful that I had left the fire lit, I sat up and reached for the soap to begin washing myself up. Reaching my face, my brow furrowed as I realised that my ears were still numb. Maybe numb wasn't the right word… _Tingly._ Strangely, there was no pain. Just an irritatingly itchy tingly feeling at the tips. Resisting the urge to scratch, I quickly cleaned myself up and pulled myself out from the water, wrapping myself in a towel.

Too tired to bother with my hair, I quickly changed into my sleeping gown and crawled into bed. Under the thick, warm covers, I closed my eyes and smiled, the troubles of my earlier mind forgotten as I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling slightly disoriented. It was unusual for me to wake up at such an hour, as I was normally a really sound sleeper. Blinking, I rolled over and closed my eyes, trying to go back to sleep. Just as I began to feel the first signs of drowsiness again, another sensation crept its way into my mind. My ears were _hot._ Like, they felt like they were burning. _Man, I must have gotten a wicked sunburn on the archery range yesterday._ Slowly, I moved a hand up to feel my ear, my fingers trailing along from my earlobe up to the tip of my ear. I froze, instantly feeling all feeling of drowsiness leave my body.

Scrambling suddenly, I sat up in bed, groping my ears with either hand.

"I'm dreaming," I whispered to myself in the dark, knowing full well that I was lying to myself.

There, beneath my very fingers, I could feel plain as day the pointed tips of my ears, cool to the touch despite the intense burning sensation. I began to grip my ears so tightly that I felt like screaming. There was no way that they were real. _They're fake!_ That was obviously a lie, and I bit my lip, biting back the pain. I felt the blood rush to my head as I fell sideways, out cold from shock.

* * *

The sound of the birds signing in the morning made my head swim. Reluctantly prying open my eyes, I stared at the wooden floor panels beneath my gaze. Confused, I pulled myself up into a sitting position, rubbing my throbbing temples. Then I remembered my ears.

Hesitantly, I lowered my hands, slowly sliding them along my hair until they stopped at the tips of my ears. The significantly pointed tips. Of my own ears. I had no idea how to react to this new development. Surprisingly, crying didn't even pop into my mind. I didn't feel the need to cry, to freak out. I simply sat on my bed, holding my ears, staring at the wall on the other side of the room.

I had no idea how long I sat there, unmoving, but eventually I realised that I needed to do something. Clambering out of bed, I raced into the bathroom and stared at my reflection in the mirror. Brushing aside the tangled mess of hair, I turned my head to the side and stared at my ear out of the corner of my eye. Sure enough, there it was, so alien to me. There was no mistaking what was happening to me anymore. I was becoming an elf.

* * *

 _Oh man, guys. I am so, so, sorry for the wait for this chapter! I just finished up with my first week of university, along with moving into an apartment the weeken before. I had the first half of this chapter written up two weeks ago, but since then, I haven't had a single moment of writing time! But finally, here we are! If all goes well, I will be getting right to work on the next chapter tomorrow, and it won't take too long to have it finished and posted as well. So thank you so much for your patience! You have all been amazing readers, and I encourage you all to leave me a review to let me know what you thought of this chapter!_

 _We're almost to the arrival of the Fellowship! Who's excited? I know that I sure am! I hope that you are all still enjoying this story as much as I am!_

 _-Eru_


	12. Chapter 12

_Hi guys! This is an important chapter; I've been waiting anxiously to get it written! Hope that you guys enjoy it; it should hopefully give more context to Christa's situation! It's not as long as I originally envisioned it to be, but I think that it should be an enjoyable read!_

* * *

 **Chapter 12:**

I stared at my reflection for a long time, unable to pull myself away from the mirror. I was becoming an elf, more and more so with each passing day. And now I had the pointed ears to prove it. How had this happened? Why had this happened to me? The Valar had failed to mention this very important detail. They intrigued me, more than anything, my ears. With a finger I traced the tip of one, lightly, as if it was extremely fragile. I didn't want to break them, and yet I didn't really want them to be there either.

Pulling my hand away suddenly, I stared at myself, my eyes widening. I couldn't let anyone know. The other changes had been easy enough to conceal. No one had taken much notice to the fact that I tired slower, and certainly no one save Haldir would have been able to notice the improvement with my eyesight.

"Well, those two young elves certainly would have found it weird that I could see that far, but they never seemed too curious," I mused, shaking off my fear and pulling out the stool, sitting down in front of the vanity.

But these ears, now they were a completely different story. I wasn't about to go parading around with them visible for everyone to see. Though Haldir and Galadriel had been accepting of the changes that I was going through, I had no idea how the rest of the elves would react if they were ever to know that I was becoming one of them.

"Me, becoming and elf!" I whispered to my reflection. Even now, after so long, it was still hard for me to wrap my head around the idea, and some part of me still hoped that this was all a dream. But I knew better, and that tiny piece of myself was shrinking by the second.

Lifting my hands again, I held my ears delicately, before wearily shifting my gaze to my hair. _Why, oh why did I not bother to brush this last night?_ Trying to forget my ears for the moment, I let my hands fall and grabbed my hair brush. My hair, thankfully, only looked bad. It did take me longer than usual to comb through the tangles, but soon I had my hair all sorted out. Parting it in the back, I brought half of my hair over either side of my neck, running my fingers through it as I tried to figure out what to do about my ears.

Afraid to do anything that was too obviously different from my usual style, I opted to do two simple braids down either side of my head, that would hold my chestnut hair in place over the tips of my ears. Joining those two braids together, I finished off by braiding them into one big braid, that then fell over my shoulder.

"There," I sighed as I tied off the braid with a leather tie. "When you go home, at least you'll be able to say that you learned how to braid your own hair."

Now that my ears were covered and I had nothing better to do, I decided to head down to grab a bite to eat. The sun was just starting to rise above the thick golden canopy of leaves, and the air had a dampness to it as the frost on the ground melted to dew. Wrapping myself up tighter in my cloak, I couldn't help but wonder if I would be in Middle Earth long enough to develop all of the elven traits. Maybe soon I wouldn't have to worry about the chilliness. I jogged down the stairs, reflecting back on how I used to be so afraid of falling. Now that I had been up and down them so many times, I had lost my fear. As long as I focused on my feet, I was fine.

As soon as I reached the bottom of the stairs, something felt off. Hesitating, I looked around the forest and the light filtered through the branches, trying to figure out what had put me on edge. Unable to find anything out of the ordinary, I shrugged it off and started on my way again. Unfortunately, the feeling persisted, and with every step, my wariness grew. Slowing my pace down until I was barely moving, I peered deeper into the woods. Though I was certain that something was wrong, I was not scared. Something just felt… Strange.

It did not take long for me to find the source of my uneasiness. Standing amidst the silver trunks was the Lady Galadriel, her golden locks about her shoulders, her whole being shimmering in the pale morning light. Neither of us said a word as our eyes met. I was expecting her to smile in welcome, but no such expression graced her features as I gazed upon her. Furrowing my brows, I watched in confusion as Galadriel raised one of her hands to me before turning away, a silent gesture for me to follow.

Having no option but to follow her, I glanced around quickly before leaving the path and stepping onto the soft underbrush. My wariness increased with every step that I took after her, following her silent path through the woods. I could tell where she was taking me, and that only made me more worried. She was taking me to the Mirror. What would it have to show me? What was so important that Lady Galadriel had come to me herself, as opposed to sending a messenger for me? These questions and a thousand more whirled around in my head as I passed the silver mallorn trees.

Had it not been for Galadriel's grim expression, I would have had great hope for this meeting. Maybe the mirror could have shown me how I was supposed to get back home, or at least tell me how long I was going to be stuck here. But that was most definitely not the case this time. Though surely Galadriel had not the slightest idea of what I would see in her mirror, it was obvious that she had cause to be troubled.

The minutes of silence dragged on until finally we broke out of the woods and into the small clearing where the mirror stood on its stone pillar. It was already filled to the brim with water, indicating that it had been recently used. _Did Galadriel see something about me in the mirror?_ Whatever it had been, it couldn't have been very good. Swallowing hard, I stopped a few steps shy of the mirror, afraid of getting to close to it before Galadriel instructed me to do so.

"I have seen something that troubles me greatly," Galadriel started suddenly, her deep voice shattering the stillness of the brisk morning. Lifting my chin, I met her eyes briefly before looking away, startled to see the concern in them. I did not want to know what she had seen in the water, but at the same time, anticipation was eating me alive.

"The Valar have spoken to me," she continued, her voice teetering on the edge of wariness, however she somehow managed to remain calm for my sake. I looked up at her quickly, avoiding her eyes. "They spoke of many things. You must look into the mirror, as they bade me to do. You must look upon what I have seen."

"What will I see?" I asked forced out, my voice small. Galadriel said nothing, simply turning her body towards the mirror that sat, still as glass before me. Pushing back the fear that was rising in my chest, I slowly stepped forward until finally I was face-to-face with the mirror.

I didn't want to look again. Suddenly, I didn't want to know what was going on, why I was stuck in a dimension that shouldn't even exist in real life. But I couldn't look away. By some power, I was being forced to look upon the mirror. And suddenly, the polished glass surface was rippling softly, small droplets leaping up and tickling my nose. And then everything was still.

 _As I watched, a sense of calmness enveloped me, and I stood still, barely breathing, as I was once again looking at myself. But this was no reflection. There was my face, eyes closed as if in a peaceful slumber. My head was resting on a stark white pillow, my hair brushed smooth and arranged about my face. I forgot all about the mirror as my view widened and I took in my surroundings, feeling more like a ghost now than a viewer through the window that was the mirror. As I stepped forward, I noticed that my sleeping form was resting on a bed, and all around me everything was white._

 _I jumped as a door behind me opened and my heart stopped as I saw two familiar figures enter the room._ Mom and Dad! _I wanted to run up to them and hug them, telling them how much I had missed them and about everything that had happened over the course of the past few months. But I stopped myself. For I was not really in the room, I could sense that. Instead, I turned to my sleeping body and finally clued in. I was in the hospital._

 _Panic set in as I watched my parents walk over to my bed. As my mom took a seat in the chair by my head, she gently reached out and began to gently comb her fingers through my hair, tears springing into her eyes. My heart stopped._ What happened to me? What is going on?

 _I didn't get an answer to my internal question, as the scene before me suddenly began to blur and speed up. It stopped suddenly, and as I was shaking off the disorienting feeling that I had time travelled, the door to my room was pushing open again. Turning my head, I saw a small group of people enter my room. In their arms they held bouquets of flowers and cards. As I watched them put their gifts down on a table by my bed, I followed them over, my eyes scanning the cards. The words_ 'Get well soon,' _glared up at me and I turned back towards the strangers who were now standing around my bed._

 _They said nothing, but they all had tears in their eyes. As I racked my brain, I suddenly recognised their faces. My classmates from my first year of University. These were people who had not spoken a single word to me during my time at University, and yet here they were now, shedding tears over me. Instead of feeling gratitude at their concern for me, I felt only anger. They had ignored me, and only now because I was, what? Dying? Only now they decided to care about me. I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest as they all departed, leaving me alone in the hospital room._

" _Not alone,"_ _I said out loud, chills running down my spine as I turned to my sleeping body._

 _That's when I noticed all of the tubes. Suck into my arms are several tubes of varying colours and sizes, all hard at work pumping fluids in and out of my body. I suddenly felt like I needed to vomit, but held it back as I studied my body. A ventilator, which somehow had been invisible to me before, was strapped to my face, covering my nose and mouth. Several tubes were also visible protruding from beneath the ventilator, presumably from my nose. Whatever had happened to me, it had been bad. Unable to contain my fear a moment longer, I screamed, knowing full well that no one would be able to hear me._

 _And that was it._

I stumbled backwards as the mirror released me, collapsing to my knees. Immediately, I snapped my head up to look at Lady Galadriel, who was standing beside the mirror, looking down at me. I could see the concern in her eyes.

"Am I dying?" I said, my voice steadier than I had been expecting. I could have sworn that I saw the corners of Galadriel's mouth turn up in the slightest hint of a smile, and I looked at her, confused.

"You are not dying, my child," Galadriel answered me, walking towards me to stand in front of me. Though her words brought me some degree of comfort, I knew that there was more to this that what she was telling me. I didn't need to ask her to explain, for she quickly continued. "The Valar spoke to me in a dream. I was not sure at first if I had truly spoken with them, or if it had indeed been simply a dream. Through them I have learned that you are in a deep sleep from which you cannot be wakened. While your body may appear to be back on Earth, your spirit is here, harboured in an identical, and yet different, body. Without your spirit, the body you saw in the mirror is nothing more than an empty vessel."

"I'm in a coma," I whispered, interrupting her in disbelief. Galadriel nodded slowly, taking in the new term before continuing.

"The Vala Irmo has spoken these words, which I will now repeat for you to hear." Galadriel paused before continuing in the Common Tongue.

" _A decision now lays before you, child of Ilúvatar. Many obstacles lay in your wake. We have reached the decision that you shall now be given a choice. Your old hröa lays still back on Earth; your family mourns you. And yet all the while, your fëa is here in Arda, your hröa whole and more capable than ever before. You change by the day. You wish to return to your home, and yet you have begun to adjust to this new way of living in a remarkable way."_

" _I, alongside my wife, Estë, have decided to give you a choice. Should you wish to return home at the end of your quest, you may do so, and regain your human form. However, you will never again be permitted to return to the land of Arda, not even in a state of dreams. Should you choose to remain in Middle Earth, you will retain your new elven form, and be bound to the rules of this world. You will never again see your family back on Earth, and your former body will die."_

" _Do not stray from the path which has been laid before you. You know of many of the perils that are to come. Do not use this knowledge to alter the course of the future, unless at the utmost need. You will meet many new people in the coming months, dear child. I hope that you will find your happiness, wherever it may take you."_

I stood in a stunned silence, unable to make much sense of the words that Lady Galadriel has just spoken to me. _So that's it. I can either go home and never come back, or stay and let my family mourn my death back home. They would have no idea that I wouldn't really be dead. Just dead to them._ I took a step backwards as my thoughts pounded inside of my head. Lifting my hands, I clutched at my head, shutting my eyes tightly, trying to focus on the fact that I had been told outright that I would be able to go home. _I want to go home. I can go home!_ I paused and opened my eyes. _But when? At the end of my 'quest". What does that even mean?_

"I too have been pondering the meaning of these words," Galadriel spoke up suddenly, interrupting my thoughts. I glanced up at her timidly. "However, it it plain to me now that you have a bigger part to play in the events to come. But you have learned much in such a short time, and I know that you are wary. Go and rest for now, child. I will have Raina bring you your breakfast."

I nodded, suddenly feeling as if the weight of the world had been dropped onto my shoulders yet again. After waiting for this moment for months, it had come. I now new what I had been yearning to know since my arrival in Lothlórien. But somehow, I felt even more troubled than I had before.

Turning around at Lady Galadriel's suggestion, I trudged back down the path that I had taken to the clearing. I wasn't really all that tired, but I needed to rest for a bit. Following the makeshift path, I slowly made my way through the trees in search of a spot to think about everything that I had just been told. After what seemed like forever, I came upon a small garden. In its midst there was a bench, and I made my way over to it, grateful for it.

Sinking down into the cushions, I lay down on my side and hugged my knees tightly, staring at the grass below the bench.

"What the hell did they mean by my 'quest'? I'm not going anywhere, much less on a quest."

The forest around me was quiet as I spoke to it, the branches still, not even a breeze to rustle the leaves. But as I listened closer, I could hear the small sounds that I had never taken much notice in before now. The gentle pitter-patter of some small animal in the undergrowth to my right. The soft flap of the wings of a bird as if leapt into the air. I opened my eyes and looked around me suddenly, trying to shake off the feeling of sleep that had suddenly tried to take ahold of my body. It was dark out.

Sitting up, I rubbed my arms to ward off the cold as I tried to remember how I had gotten here.

* * *

"Christa?" A voice called gently from behind me. Startled at the sudden intrusion of what I had now come to trust as a private place, I jumped slightly and turned to see Raina enter the garden, a look a relief on her face.

"Raina," I breathed, relaxing back down into the bench, closing my eyes.

"I have been searching for you since this morning. The Lady Galadriel gave me instructions to bring food to your lodgings, but you were no where to be found. I alerted her and she sent out several of the Galadhrim to help search for you." She finished, flustered.

I laughed through my grogginess "Oh Raina, why were you so worried? I meant to return to my flet, but I guess that I fell asleep…"

"The Lady Galadriel told me that you were under a great deal of stress, for reasons she did not disclose. She felt it best the we find you immediately. It would seem that you have managed to locate the most secluded garden in all of Lothlórien."

"I needed some time alone to think about things, and all of those stairs just seemed so daunting that I decided to sit here. I didn't plan on falling asleep. I wasn't even aware that I had been so tired until I woke up just now," I explained, hoping that Raina wasn't too frustrated with my antics. To my relief, she smiled and extended a hand to me.

"You must be cold, and surely you are famished. Come, we had better get you back up to your flet."

* * *

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't manage to get a wink of sleep once I had collapsed into my bed. Lying on my side in bed, I stared across the room at the door, wondering how much longer I would have to stay here. I had grown to know most of the city like the back of my hand, and even though I would miss it here, I knew beyond any doubt that I wanted to return to my family more than anything.

Flopping onto my other side, I tried to get comfortable, but I just couldn't. I tossed and turned for a few minutes before giving up on the idea of sleeping. Pulling myself from the bed, I stood in the dark stillness of the room. All I could think about were the pained faces of my mother and father. Had what I had seen in the mirror happened just today? How exactly had I gone into a coma? Where the doctors even able to give my parents an explanation as to what was wrong with me? As far as I knew, I had simply been sleeping. I reflected back on what Galadriel had told me about my body being empty. _My fëa… that's like my spirit, if I remember correctly. So was she saying that basically, my spirit got transported here, and put into a new body?_ I shuddered at the thought. My old body, which was basically nothing more than an empty shell, was sitting back home, dormant, while my family gathered around it and wept.

Turning my attention from my disturbing thoughts, I shook my head and decided that I needed to occupy myself with something. Wandering over to the chair in the corner of my room, I sat down and turned to pick up the book that I had left on the table. I had not had any spare time for reading in a long time, and now seemed like a good a time as any to crack it open and pick up where I had left off. The lamp beside me illuminated as I lifted the book from the wooden surface and got comfortable in the chair. Opening it up, I watched as my piece of hay bookmark fell to the ground, dry and yellow.

Squinting at the words on the pages through the silver light of the lamp, I tried to focus on what I was reading. I just couldn't shake the feeling that whatever I needed to accomplish before I was allowed to go home wouldn't be much to my liking. _What would they honestly ask you to do, Christa? You're basically useless. I mean, sure, you can use a bow and shoot half-decently most of the time. But they've got thousands of archers here who are at least a hundred times better than I could ever be._ Sighing, I clutched the hard covers of the book tighter and read the first paragraph of the chapter for the third time, begging myself to pay attention to the words on the page. But I could not.

"Do not stray from the path which has been laid before you," I whispered to myself as I lifted my eyes from the page, repeating the words that Galadriel had spoken to me earlier. The Common Tongue felt strangely foreign on my lips. This was now the second time that I had been warned by on of the Valar to watch my step. "You know of many of the perils that are to come. Do not use this knowledge to alter the course of the future, unless at the utmost need."

I paused as the second part of the warning left my lips, suddenly able to guess what they had been talking about. _The War of the Ring. I know how it ends. Are they warning me to just not tell anyone anything? Because I can definitely do that._

"But…" my voice caught in my throat as I spoke out into the darkness of my room. "That means that I'm going to have to stay here until the end of the war!"

Stricken at the thought of having to wait for so long to return to my family, I dropped the book into my lap and leaned forward, cradling my head in my hands. Tears quickly sprang to my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. Frustrated that I was crying yet again, I picked up the book and slammed it down onto the table before curling up into a ball on the chair. I cried until the sun rose.

* * *

 _I hope that ending isn't as bad as it seems to me right now. Oh well. I'm really happy with how this chapter turned out! I hope that you all enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it! As always, please let me know what you thought! I have a busy weekend but am still hoping to be able to work in some time for writing! Thanks for reading!_

 _-Eru_


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13:**

As I stared up at the ceiling through unfocused eyes, I barely heard the soft knock on my door. Despite hearing it, I chose to ignore it. Holding perfectly still, I breathed slowly, afraid of being heard by Raina, who I knew would be standing outside of my door with me some food and clean clothes. I was in no mood for her company, or anyone's company for that matter. I hadn't been in much of a mood for any sort of social activity at all over the past week, ever since I had realised that I would be spending at least a few more months trapped in Middle Earth. I had no sense of dates, and my best guess was just that - a guess. I had never regretted something as much as putting down the _Two Towers_ before finishing the trilogy. Mentally kicking myself, I tried to figure out for the thousandth time what date Frodo destroyed the Ring. Was it March? No, April maybe? Crap, was it _May_? On top of that, I wasn't even sure yet that that was how long I was going to have to stay here.

Scrunching up my face in frustration, I rolled over, suppressing the urge to scream as soon as I remembered that Raina was standing outside of my door. She had probably already heard me, but I instantly froze, scarcely daring to breathe. Another soft knock sounded at the door, and I bit my lip, hoping that she wouldn't just come in.

"Christa, mellon, are you all right?" came Raina's melodic voice through the thick wood. _She's probably worried about me. It_ is _past noon and I'm still in bed._ Electing to pretend to be sleeping, I quietly rolled away from the door and snuggled up into my pillow, keeping my eyes open as I listened.

True to her character, I soon heard the door creak almost indistinctively as Raina opened it and entered the room. I quickly closed my eyes and breathed deeply, hoping that she would not question me any further. To my annoyance, I felt a gentle hand caress my forehead.

"Christa, child, you must wake," she murmured gently, and my insides twisted as I felt a surge of homesickness at her motherly display. Opening my eyes reluctantly, I pretended to wake, stretching and yawning. "It is past mid day," she continued with a warm smile once I had stilled. "and Haldir has requested to see you."

"Haldir has returned? He is early!" I exclaimed, my gloom forgotten at mention of my friend. Raina laughed heartily as I sat up and sprang from my bed.

"Aye, mellon. He said that he would be heading to the archery range. I know not if he is indeed early in returning as you say, but I do know that he expressed a concern for your haste to join him," Raina replied, the corners of her mouth upturned in a hint of a mischievous smile.

Ignoring her expression, I rushed across the room to my closet and opened it, peering inside. Raina quickly told me that she had brought me up my fresh clothes, and I eagerly picked out my favourite tunic and pulled it on, along with a pair of breeches. I would have bathed, but I was in too much of a rush, and figured that I was probably clean enough anyways since I hadn't really done anything since last week. I spent little time on my hair, brushing it smooth and not bothering to put it up, all the while being careful to hide my ears from the keen eyes of Raina. My bow and quiver were waiting for me by the door. With a nod of thanks to Raina, I pulled on my shoes and the grey cloak and departed, much to the elf maiden's dismay.

"Christa, you have not eaten!"

"I'll eat later!" I called from across the platform as I slung my quiver over my shoulder and hurried off down the stairs.

I had butterflies in my stomach, excited to see my friend again after three weeks of being on my own. I had so much that I needed to tell Haldir. My improvements on the archery range had been significant, and I could only hope that I had not lost my newfound skills due to my week of slacking off. My ears too, needed to be discussed. I had decided to tell Haldir after little debate. I could find no significant reason to hide the new development from him, as he already knew of my transformation. What Galadriel had told me the other day, however, crossed way too far over the boundary that I had set up, and I would not be able to get that off my chest. No way was I about to tell Haldir that I was from a completely different dimension, never mind that my soul had been split from my body and planted in an identical one here. Shaking my head, I jumped off the stairs and rushed across the grass.

I made my way straight to the archery range, running quickly through the streets. A week of doing nothing had left me with more energy than I had realised, and now that I was out and about, I welcomed the activity.

It didn't take me long to arrive at the clearing, and I spotted Haldir's form not too far away, standing at the centre of the range. Beside him were several other elves, standing beside one another, each holding bows. Despite it being obvious that he was in the middle of giving the younger elves some advice, I dashed across the grass and pounced on him, enveloping him in a giant hug from behind. To my surprise, the blond elf jumped in surprise at my action and turned around, swinging me around with him as I swore not to let go.

"Christa!" He guessed easily as he laughed off his surprise. I released him and dropped to the ground, a huge grin on my face as I joined him in his laughter.

"Yep!"

"You will have to excuse us," Haldir said, turning to the other archers who were now regarding us with amused expressions. "Come, I sense you have much to tell me." Lightly setting a hand behind my back, he steered me away from the group.

"Three weeks has never felt so long!" I exclaimed, glancing up at my friend, my grin beginning to make my cheeks sore. The past three weeks had been so trying, and I had not even realised how much I had missed Haldir until today.

We walked over to the edge of the forest and sat down side-by-side in the grass. Leaning back against the cool grey trunk of one of the smaller trees, I allowed myself a moment to collect my thoughts before throwing myself into the conversation. Before I could start, however, Haldir has caught on to my expression and spoke first.

"You are weary, mellon," he said, watching me carefully as my shoulders sagged into the smooth bark. I nodded my head, closing my eyes briefly before opening them. I met his gaze and noticed how concerned he looked.

"So much has happened to me, I am not quite sure what to think anymore," I explained, lowering my gaze and watching the puffs of steam from my breath. I hadn't meant to put it like that, and hoped that he wouldn't question me further than I wished him to.

"If you feel comfortable in doing so, you may speak to me of whatever troubles you," Haldir said softly as he inched closer. I leaned into his warm embrace as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and sighed.

"My body is changing," I said plainly, breathing into his chest. "I feel less and less like myself with each passing day. I miss my home, and… I worry about my family," I explained, lifting my chin to look up at him.

"My scars have disappeared. I am more fit than I have ever been. I can see farther, shoot better," I rambled into his chest, pausing for a moment before ending the list. "and now my ears have changed."

Gently, Haldir raised a hand to brush back the hair, revealing the pointed tip of my ear.

"I still cannot comprehend how this is possible," he breathed as he looked at my ear. Despite being relatively alone, I didn't feel comfortable with my ear so exposed, and promptly reached up to cover it back up with my hair.

"I am sorry," Haldir said quickly. I smiled and straightened, looking at him as I leaned back against the tree.

"No, it's not your fault. I just don't want anyone else to see them. You're the only one I trust, Haldir," I explained, my voice hushed.

Nodding his head in understanding, Haldir met my gaze and we smiled at each other in silence for a moment. I quickly became aware that we were staring at each other, and felt my cheeks flush. Haldir seemed to notice at the same moment, for he quickly broke away and made to stand up. Taking the hand that he offered me, I stood up, chuckling somewhat awkwardly as he pulled from off the ground. Giving my hand a quick squeeze before letting go, he gestured to my bow which lay beside me.

"Why don't you show me how much you have improved?"

Much to my delight, my abilities had become pretty consistent. Though I was the first to admit that I had far from perfected the art, I was quite happy with my accomplishments, and, to my delight, so was Haldir.

As I nailed my fifth bull's-eye with the last arrow is my quiver, I turned to my friend, beaming. He gave me a firm pat on my shoulder, looking across the range at the target which was littered with arrows.

"I need to get quicker," I said, wanting to be the first to point out what needed improving. Haldir nodded.

"Yes. Also, pay attention to your breathing. If you hold your breath for so long in a battle, you will tire quickly," he added, turning to me. I nodded briskly. I still found it funny how quickly Haldir could change. _One moment, we're having some weird googly-eyes moment, and the next he's gone full Marchwarden again._ I felt my cheeks grow warm as I remembered the awkward moment from earlier.

"I believe that is enough for today. It is apparent to me that you practiced often while I was gone," Haldir's voice pulled me from my thoughts and I turned to see him smiling. My cheeks still flushed, I smiled back, hoping that it wasn't obvious what I had been thinking about.

"I'm glad that I didn't disappoint you," I chuckled, slinging my bow into it's holster. Haldir grinned and gave my shoulder a squeeze.

After retrieving my arrows from the target, I did a head count. Several had broken since I had last counted, and now I was at a measly 17 arrows, down from my last count of 20. Tucking the last one into my quiver, I grimaced as they moved around inside of it. Haldir laughed.

"Worry not. They are easy to replace."

"Can we get some today? I don't like having a half-empty quiver," I asked, turning to follow the elf from the range.

"Of course. How about we head over to the market now? I will show you where to acquire some. If you would like, it might be a good idea to purchase an extra bundle of arrows for when you break one," he suggested. I nodded eagerly. I had been searching for something to spend the last of my money on. I didn't have a whole lot left after buying the hair clip, but hopefully it would be enough to buy some new arrows.

It didn't take long for the two of us to get to the marketplace. It was now early evening, and the streets were buzzing with activity. As the days grew shorter, the sun had begun to set earlier, but the city was alive with the glow of the soft blue lights. They twinkled in the trees, dancing in the twilight as they swayed in the breeze. I smiled as we walked through the rows of shops, thinking about how I had grown so comfortable within Lothlórien.

With that thought came the terrible reminder of my family back home. I had tried my best not to think about it, I really had. But the fact that my parents were weeping over an empty body was pretty hard to push aside. I let out a deep sigh, and Haldir looked my way, forehead furrowed in concern.

"Is there something that you are not telling me, Christa?" He asked me, gently pulling me to a stop on the side of the road. I shook my head slowly before looking up at him.

"No. I'm all right, Haldir," I replied, putting on my best smile. Haldir didn't look convinced, but he didn't push the matter any further. _Thank goodness._ "Come on."

As we came to the far end of the market, Haldir gestured to a large stand to our right. "Here we are, the armoury." He led the way inside, holding the door for me as we entered.

I stepped inside the building and pulled off my hood, taking in the room. The walls were stocked from floor to ceiling with weaponry and armour, the polished metals gleaming in the light of the lanterns that hung about the shop. It was far bigger than I had anticipated and stocked full. Among the many swords, bows and knives were weapons that I had no idea what they were. Turning my attention from the walls, I smiled warmly as an elf emerged from a door at the back of the room, holding a helmet. Setting it down on the counter, he looked up at us and smiled in return.

"Good evening, Haldir, Lady Tawariell. How may I help you?"

I felt myself flushing at the still unfamiliar name. It seemed that all of the elves besides the ones that I knew personally had decided to address me using my adopted name. I definitely didn't mind, in fact, it made me feel not to foreign, but part of me still preferred to be called Christa. Not really knowing what to say, I let Haldir do the talking.

"It is nice to see you, Tûrin!" Haldir said, leading the way up to the counter. _Haldir must come here often._ Leaning casually against the wooden surface, he gestured to me. "Lady Tawariell is in need of some new arrows, and I had hoped that you would have some available."

Tûrin nodded and smiled at me. "An archer, are you?"

"I'm learning," I replied with a shy smile. "Haldir is helping me."

"She's improved a lot. A quick learner," Haldir added, laying a hand on my shoulder. I beamed at the compliment.

"Well then, I do believe I can find some arrows in the back," Tûrin said with a wink. "One moment."

He reappeared from the back room a few moments later with a couple of thick bundles of arrows, each wrapped in a pale linen and tied together with thin yellow cords. Laying them down carefully on the counter, he glanced up at us.

"Three dozen should suffice," Haldir spoke up before Tûrin even had a chance to ask me how many I wanted. Startled, I shot Haldir a stunned look before shoving my hand into my tunic to pull out the small pouch of change.

"I don't think that I can afford that many," I whispered to Haldir as I untied the drawstring and emptied the contents into my palm. Haldir simply chuckled and pulled out some change from his own pocket. He promptly paid for the arrows and I watched as Tûrin counted the coins. Huffing in annoyance, I gathered the bundles of arrows in my arms as Haldir nodded his thanks again to Tûrin. The elf nodded back before turning to me, offering me a mischievous smile before turning back to his work.

"Thanks," I said to him as I turned to follow Haldir out of the shop.

Back outside, I marched ahead of Haldir and stopped him, shifting the arrows under my armpits to place my hands on my hips. Trying to supress a grin, Haldir stopped and looked down at me, waiting for me to complain like he knew I would. I shot him a dirty look.

"Why did you do that?"

"Why did I do what, exactly?" Haldir replied, his eyebrows knit in fake confusion. I sighed, dropping my arms to my sides.

"I could have paid for my arrows myself."

"No you could not have. You said so yourself that you did not think that you could afford it."

"I said that I couldn't afford _that many._ I never intended on buying so many arrows."

"I thought that it would be kind of me to get them for you," Haldir dropped the act, his face softening into a smile. I narrowed my eyes, still not pleased that he had paid for my arrows with his own money.

"You really didn't have to," I said after a moment of brooding, realising that he had done a nice thing for me and that I should just be grateful for it. A smile crept its way onto my lips and I dropped my shoulders. "Thank you, though. I appreciate it. I really do."

"It is my pleasure," Haldir assured me. "Hang on to your gold lest you should need it. It is always wise to not have empty pockets." I grinned in thanks and tucked the arrows tighter under my arm.

We left the glow of the market behind us, making our way back down the quiet paths towards the heart of the city. We walked quietly, content to listen to nothing but the nearly silent sound of our footfalls on the aged cobblestone pavers. Night had fallen and the forest was bathed in a shimmering blue. Thinking back once again to how welcome I now felt in Caras Galadhon, I couldn't help but smile, despite the painful homesickness that constantly gnawed at my heart. Unconsciously, I shuddered in the chilly night air, and I felt Haldir reach over to adjust my cloak about my shoulders.

"I wish that I did not have the need to tell you this, but I will be returning to the border once again in a week's time," he broke the silence, cutting through my thoughts. I looked up, welcoming the distraction from the painful imagery that haunted my mind.

"Why so soon?" I asked, furrowing my brow. Haldir had been gone an awful lot lately. At least, that's how it seemed to me. Learning that I would only have a week with him before he was running back off to the border did not ease the heaviness of my thoughts.

"The watch has been tightened," he replied, his voice tense. I turned to look up at him, trying not to look too concerned. Were there orcs nearby? Surely if the guard was being increased, there was reason to believe that something dangerous lurked in the woods beyond Caras Galadhon. Sensing my worry, Haldir lay a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Fear not. The Lady Galadriel has received news that we are to be on the lookout for any activity that we find strange, no matter how insignificant it may seem. But we have not heard tell of any evil lurking in the woods of Lothlórien."

I nodded my head slowly, pushing my fear away. I had nothing to worry about. I had concrete evidence that I would be safe in Caras Galadhon, at least for the time being. Nothing could reach me in the city. And nothing would happen to Haldir, either. That much was guaranteed, as he had a part to play yet in the story of the Fellowship.

"And yet my heart is heavy," Haldir spoke up again, his voice full of sorrow. I felt my heart pain for him.

"There is a war coming, Haldir. You do not need to hide this from me, I already know," I said quietly, not sure if there might be anyone else around. _Don't need to be spreading word around the city about Sauron._ To my surprise, Haldir didn't seem to be shocked that I knew this at all. He actually didn't say anything is response to my statement. Instead, we continued to walk in silence, both now caught in our own thoughts.

As the bright lights of the city centre began to prick through the trees ahead of us, I felt Haldir's gaze on me. Shifting from my thoughts, I smiled and turned to meet his eyes.

"You are not all right," he said simply, his eyes searching mine for any clues.

"I told you, I'm fine," I shrugged uncomfortably, trying to brush it off. I knew that he was not convinced, and after a short moment, I sighed. I could practically feel his eyes piercing me, wishing to know, to help me. "It's… I wish I could tell you, Haldir, but I'd rather not talk about it." As I said those last words, I turned from him and stared at my feet as we walked the last few steps into the city.

It had been a long day, despite having slept most of it away, and I wearily made for the stairs, wanting nothing more than to collapse onto my bed and be alone with my thoughts. Haldir stuck by my side, following me up the steps in silence. It didn't take us long to reach the top of the steps. Stepping onto the wooden platform, I found myself smiling, despite the emotional strain that I was currently being faced with.

I knew that Haldir had only my best interests in mind. He was certainly not blind to the fact that I was dealing with something worse than what I had already told him. It pained me to have to tell myself that I couldn't explain to him what was going on, but I knew without a doubt that that was what I had to do. I had to hide it.

I quickly found myself at the entrance to my room. Turning to face Haldir, I wrapped my arms around him in a hug, squeezing him close to me. "I would tell you if I could," I whispered into his chest.

"I know," he replied quietly, his breath tickling me as it ruffled my hair. Pulling away from me, he leaned down so that our foreheads were touching, his eyes searching mine. A pleasant shiver ran down my spine as he gently clasped my head in one of his hands. "Just know that I will be here for you, if you ever need to talk about it. About anything," he said softly, his fingers gently caressing my hair. I nodded my head, unable to come up with anything to say in response, stunned by his intimate gestures.

After a moment, he removed his hand from my head and straightened, looking slightly flustered. I imagined that I probably shared this expression, and laughed lightly.

"Have a good night, Christa," Haldir said with a grin. I smiled back, my heart fluttering as I held his gaze.

"Good night, Haldir," I replied, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks as I realised that we were both staring at each other for the second time that day. "Thank you," I said, trying to break the awkward silence that had fallen between us. Haldir nodded, and, still wearing his lopsided grin, turned and made his way from my door.

Quickly, I turned and pulled open the door to my flet. Stepping inside, I pulled the door shut and leaned against it before slowly sliding down to sit on the floor, my head pressed against the cool wooden planks.

"What the hell?" I whispered to the darkness, still smiling, though I wasn't really even sure if I felt happy. Of course, there was no response to my question, and I sat staring into the darkness of my room for quite some time. My heart beat has slowed back to its normal pace, and the butterflies has long since departed, but I still felt… off.

Pulling myself up off of the floor, I made my way slowly over to the bed and sat down, pulling off my boots and my socks as I ran back through the experience outside of my door. _That feeing… Down at the range, and then again, just a few minutes ago! But, Rúmil was only teasing!_ I paused in my actions, my sock half pulled off. Haldir couldn't have feelings for me! _I can't have feelings for Haldir!_ At that thought, I felt the faintest flutter in the pit of my stomach.

Flinging my sock across the room, I removed my cloak and tunic and flopped backwards onto my pillows. Pulling the covers up to my chin, I stared up at the ceiling. Swallowing hard, I pushed the tingly feeling from my stomach, annoyed that the thought was even crossing my mind. _Sure, he's handsome. And kind. And smart… But I can't stay here! I'm going to get home._

Huffing in frustration, I rolled over onto my side and bit my lip. How could this be happening? Better question, when did this happen? I had never thought of Haldir as anything more than a friend. _And I never will. I was just caught up in the moment._ I would beat that into my brain, drill it into my very being. Shaking my head in determination, I took a deep breath. _I can't let this affect me._

I won't.

* * *

 _Yay! Sorry for my tardiness. I hope that this chapter will be enjoyable, despite the wait. I hope that the ending is not too weird. I couldn't think of a better time to end the chapter, especially since I don't want to make it seem like the romance between Haldir and Christa is just going to poof out of thin air haha…_

 _Once again, I hope that you all enjoyed reading this! Please remember to leave a review and let me know what you liked (or didn't like so much) about the chapter and the story so far. New reviewers are very much appreciated!_

 _-Eru_


	14. Chapter 14

_There is one small instance of coarse language in this chapter, just a heads-up. Enjoy!_

* * *

 **Chapter 14:**

Faenelin snorted and stretched her neck, her ears flopped sideways in bliss as I scratched the underside of her neck with a stiff brush. Laughing, I leaned against her shoulder, putting all of my strength into giving her a good scratch. Despite the chilly air outside, the grey mare had managed to work up a sweat during our workout, thanks to her winter coat. I had seen much worse, of course. The horses back home practically turned into woolly mammoths when November rolled around. I smiled, thinking about how I used to come in from a winter ride cold, hairy, and smelling of horse sweat.

At the thought, I felt my heart ache. I missed Eclipse so much that sometimes it was a physical pain, my lungs restricted and my eyes stinging. Tired, I stopped brushing Faenelin's neck, much to her disappointment, and stepped back to look at the mare. Age had been kind to her, and despite her slightly hollowed back and thinning tail, she was still a sight to behold. She had been a light in the darkness since arriving in Middle Earth, and I was unable to forget how grateful I was to be able to spend time with her.

Picking up a soft brush, I began to run it along her neck, smoothing down the sweaty hair that I had ruffled up with the hard brush. While I brushed, I allowed my thoughts to wander. While Faenelin had helped me in every way that she had to offer, there were still many things that I longed to do. None of the horses here had been trained to jump anything bigger than a log, and as I would ride through the fields where the hay grew in the summer, I wanted nothing more than to jump as I had back home, so many years ago. It was strange to feel this way, as I had never even wanted to ride all that much since Eclipse's death.

"Eclipse," I murmured to myself as I pulled the brush away from Faenelin's smooth coat. The mare cocked an ear back, curious as to who I was talking to. Despite the years, the name rolled off my tongue easily, and I smiled sadly. "I miss you."

The pinto gelding had been much more than a horse to me. He had been my best friend, and often, my only friend. I had been quiet and reclusive all throughout middle school, slowing going separate ways with my childhood friends. It wasn't that I wanted to be rid of them, it was that I suddenly felt the need to be alone, away from the gossip and often accidentally hurtful comments that my friends made. They meant well, but I chose to leave them nonetheless. Eclipse become the one whom I could share all of my secrets with. But all that has changed when he had died.

I choked back a sob as I realised that I had begun to cry, silent tears trickling down my cheeks. Wiping them away in annoyance, I took a deep breath to compose myself and started to tidy up the grooming supplies. Giving Faenelin an affectionate pat on my way out, I closed the stall door behind me and made my way to the tack room. After leaving the grooming kit on the shelf in the tack room, I glanced out the window.

"Shoot!" I hissed as I took note of where the sun was in the sky. Turning, I darted from the room, and jogged through the barn, not wanting the startle any of the horses by running. As soon as I was out the stable doors, I broke into a sprint.

I had spent far more time with Faenelin than I had originally allowed for. It was already nearing 6 o'clock, and as I ran through the streets I hoped that I wouldn't be too late. I was blind to the curious looks that I got as I raced through the city as fast as my legs could carry me, thankful that the streets were not busy. I would have pushed past elves if I had needed to, but I was glad that I didn't have to. I arrived at the clearing a few minutes later and came to a stop, leaning forward with my hands on my knees as I caught my breath. My eyes scanned space, hoping that I had made it on time. The area was not empty, and I searched each blond head until I found the one that I was looking for.

"Ah! There you are!"

I jumped and spun around as I felt a hand clasp my shoulder. Clenching my fists, I stared up at Haldir.

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop sneaking up on me like that?" I exclaimed, my heart racing. Haldir chuckled and removed his hand from my shoulder. Unable to be mad at him, I reached up and wrapped him in a hug, squeezing him until I heard him gasp slightly through his laughing.

"I was beginning to fear that you had forgotten," he teased as I released him from my grip. I looked away sheepishly, raising a hand to the back of my neck.

"I lost track of the time. I was at the stables," I explained, looking back up at him, hoping that he would not be sad to hear this. To my relief, he simply chuckled.

"You made it, nonetheless, and that is what matters."

I nodded, glad that he seemed to be back to his usual lighthearted self. The past week had been… odd. Ever since the moment we had shared outside of my flet, our conversations had been somewhat awkward. Not so much in an uncomfortable way, but in a way that made me feel like there was maybe something going on between us that neither one of us was ready to admit. Today, though, the tension was gone.

"So, I suppose that I've already made you late," I said with a half-hearted grin. I really didn't want him to leave again, especially after he had only been back for a week.

"Well, yes, I suppose that you have," Haldir said with a grin, before glancing over my shoulder across the clearing.

"I wouldn't want to make you any later than I already have. I'll see you in three weeks," I replied with my best smile as I wrapped him in another hug, this one shorter and less tight. Pulling away, Haldir smiled.

"See you soon, mellon-nin," he nodded, turning away with a smile. I nodded in return and watched until his grey form has disappeared amongst the trunks of the mallorn trees.

It was going to be another long three weeks.

* * *

After seeing Haldir off, I decided that it was way past time that I grabbed a bit to eat. I arrived at the dining hall right on time for dinner, and the grand room was packed full with elves. The atmosphere was cheerful, and I welcomed the sounds of friendly chatter as I got my supper.

Knowing that it would probably be pretty difficult to find a table to sit at by myself, I began to search for Rúmil and Orophin, the two faces that I felt comfortable sitting with. If Raina had not been working, I would have gladly hunted her down, but I knew that she was busy during dinner. Furrowing my brows, I scanned the tables, pursing my lips as I realised that they weren't in the room. _That's kind of weird. They're always here at dinner time._

Shrugging my shoulders as I recognised a few of the other guards sitting together at a table near the edge of the hall, I figured that they would be better company than a stranger and made my way over to join them.

"Hello, may I join you?" I asked as I stepped up to the table. One of the elves, who I recognised from the feast, looked up at me and smiled.

"Of course, Lady Christa. Please, do have a seat," he said, pulling the chair beside him out and gesturing for me to sit down. I took the seat gladly, placing my plate down on the table and pulling the chair in.

"Forgive me, but I cannot seem to recall your name," I said guiltily, glancing to my left at the elf. He chuckled before replying.

"Imrathon, my lady," he replied warmly. I nodded, trying to file the name away in my brain in hopes that I would remember it.

We exchanged some small talk before I dove into my meal, only now realising how hungry I had been. After I had finished, I placed my utensils on my plate and turned to face Imrathon, electing to ask the question that had been on my mind since sitting down.

"Have you any idea where Rúmil and Orophin might be?"

"They have left for the border. Haldir did not tell you that he was to join them? His brothers have been on patrol for a week already."

"Oh. No, he didn't tell me that," I nodded in understanding as I thought about his words. _Great, now I know next to no one here._ I felt guilty about the thought, sitting next to a perfectly good meal buddy, but despite his friendliness, Imrathon had a way to go yet before I could consider him a friend. "Thank you, Imrathon. It was lovely talking with you," I smiled as I stood up and gathered my plate.

"You're welcome to dine with me whenever you like," he replied with a bright smile.

As I walked back to my flet, I allowed myself to brood over the fact that I was going to be lonely for a little while. _Oh calm down, there are so many worse things that could be happening to you right now, but you complain that you're going to be lonely._ With a huff, I began to climb the stairs to my room. _Why did all three of them have to go at the same time? I wouldn't even have minded if it was just Orophin here._

With that thought, I slowed in the middle of the flight, furrowing my brow pensively. It was terribly unusual for all three of the brothers to be deployed to the border at the same time. Haldir had told me that, since they were all in separate patrols, their shifts did not often intercept. And to make the matter even more interesting, Imrathon had said that they were all at the border _together._

"Wait a minute…" I mumbled to myself as my thoughts wandered. "No way."

The pieces fell together perfectly. The time of year, and the three brothers all leaving for the border, added to the heaviness that Haldir had expressed he was feeling on his heart. _The Fellowship will be arriving soon!_ I couldn't help but grin at the thought. Haldir would be accompanying them back. Maybe I would get to meet them! Picking up my pace again, I hurried to my flet. I had already been anxious to get into the warmth of my tub and relax, but now I was giddy with excitement as well.

* * *

The days dragged by, each feeling like it would never end. I slept in late most of these days, electing to go for my runs in the afternoons. The few mornings that I did manage to get myself out of bed before midmorning were spent with Faenelin at the stables. The rest of my time was spent at the archery range, practicing at increasingly farther distances. I had managed to get past the temporary roadblock that had been causing me trouble, and had progressed another 30 paces backwards since then. Though still nowhere as talented or as capable as the other elves at the range, I always left the range feeling proud of myself.

The days had grown too short to do much during the evenings, so I took to retreating to my room for some relaxation time every night after having dinner. Imrathon proved to be good company, but still I longed for the more familiar friendships of Haldir and his brothers. A long and toasty soak in the bath would help to draw out the stress that liked to settle of my shoulders during the day, but still not a moment passed that I wasn't thinking about my family back home.

I had tried my best to see the positives of the situation, and though they were few and far between, I found that they helped a little.

"At least I'm alive," I said to myself as I finished washing up one night. Pouring a basin of warm water over my hair, I wrung it out and stepped out of the tub. Warding off the chilly air with a towel that I had placed near the fire, I smiled. _Yes, it could be worse._ I had a way back, I just had to be patient. If I could just wait it out, and figure out what the heck was meant by the "Quest" that I supposedly had to accomplish, I would be just fine.

After I had patted myself dry and dressed in my nightgown, I sat down at the vanity and picked up my hairbrush. As I combed through my damp tresses, an odd sensation came over me. Stopping mid brushstroke, I glanced out the window to my right, staring into the night. Trying to ignore the strange feeling, I finished detangling my hair and set the brush back down on the vanity. And then the feeling was back again, nagging at my conscience. I couldn't help but feel that something was amiss, so I stood and wandered over to the window.

Tentatively, I opened it up and peered downwards, clinging to the window sill as I stared down through the bows. I knew there was something down there. I couldn't see it, but I knew that I wasn't on edge for nothing. Suddenly, my eyes widened in excitement, and I found myself rushing towards the door. Yanking on my boots and cloak over my nightgown, I hurried out the door and made my way as quietly as I could along the wooden surface. _The Fellowship is here! I know it!_

I couldn't hide the grin that was plastered to my face, but my legs felt like jelly with nerves at the same time. I tried to tell myself not to be silly. I certainly wasn't going to be meeting them tonight! Not in my nightgown, at all costs. No, tonight I was going to have to be sneaky. With a mischievous glint in my eyes, I hatched a plan. Tiptoeing down the flight of stairs that led to Lady Galadriel's and Lord Celeborn's chambers, I stopped about halfway down and peered up the the smooth trunk of the great tree. That wouldn't do. Scanning the branches above my head, I turned and ran back up the stairs and back to my room. Flinging open my window, I swore to myself that I wasn't losing my mind. Unable to convince myself, I took a deep breath and pulled myself onto the window sill, swinging my legs around so that they were dangling outside.

"Oh, what am I doing?" I asked myself, trying to not look down. Gathering all of my courage, I reached down with my foot until I felt it touch the branch that I was aiming for. _Okay, here we go._ Sliding slowly to the edge of the sill, I grasped the window tightly as I came to stand on the thick branch. Taking a steadying breath, I let go of the window and took a tentative step forwards.

The branch was thankfully a good two feet wide, but its bark was extremely smooth and I feared with every step that I would go plummeting to the ground. After getting the hang of where to place my feet, I picked up my pace bit by bit, until I was quickly making my way across the branch. My next challenge came when I reached the end of the branch. I knew which way I had to go, and looked at the next branch a few feet below the one that I was standing on.

Now, I will admit that in hindsight, this was probably the stupidest risk that I ever could have taken. Had I been a smart, sensible person, I would have turned back then and there and just gone to bed. The Fellowship could have waited until morning. But, as it were, I was not about to be sensible. I jumped.

My foot slipped as it landed on the branch, and my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach as I felt my body fall towards the ground. Instincts kicked in just in time, and I was able to close my arms around the branch. Groaning, I clung to the branch for dear life as it bounced up and down slightly before stilling.

"Holy shit!" I hissed into the night, my heart beating a mile a minute. _Good job, you idiot. You've nearly killed yourself!_ I allowed myself a moment to catch my breath and calm down, before mustering all of my strength to pull myself back onto the top of the branch. Not daring to try and stand up without a support, I shimmied all the way to the tree's trunk and used that to pull myself back up into a standing position.

I continued on at a slower pace, electing to climb down and up, rather than attempting to jump again. When at last I saw the shimmering lights of the Lord and Lady's lodgings, I felt like singing. I treaded even lighter now, afraid that I would be heard by one of the many keen pairs of ears below me. Hardly daring to breath, I tiptoed to the trunk of the tree and clutched it tightly as I lowered my gaze. I nearly passed out.

There, standing in the mystical blue lights, I counted 8 figures of different heights and builds. _There they are! The actual Fellowship of the Ring!_ I was over the moon. Crouching down, I watched as they were approached by Galadriel and Celeborn.

Though the Fellowship had their backs to me, it was easy to tell who each figure belonged to. To the far left stood Boromir, his build solid and his locks a deep red-brown. Next to the Lord of Gondor stood two small figures, one dirty blond and one brunet. Easily, these were Pippin and Merry, respectively. Two more small figures stood next to them, Frodo with the dark hair, and Sam, with the light brown hair. A slightly taller yet far stouter Gimli stood next to the Hobbits, and beside him, Aragorn. He stood proudly and held a regal air, though it was not hard to tell that he was weary. Finally, there was Legolas, tall and lithe, with silvery blond hair that reached his mid-back. _So he_ is _blond. I_ was immediately drawn to his bow, which was fastened to his back. Though simple in design, it stirred excitement within me. Here I was looking at quite possibly the best archer in all of Middle Earth! And the future King of Gondor! The One Ring is down there, in the hands of a tiny hobbit! And Boromir… I shivered, trying not to dwell on his imminent death.

As I settled myself down, I tried to listen to the conversation that was taking place below me, but as I did, the gathering began to break up. _Aw man, I have the movie's script down for this scene! That was supposed to be my big break!_ Standing up as silently as I could, I watched with curiosity as the Fellowship was led back down the stairs, until they were out of my sight.

 _And now we have to go back…_ I turned carefully and peered at the branches before me in the darkness. Now that I lacked the same encouragement for haste, I picked my way carefully through the trees. Once I was sure that I was out of sight, I decided to stop risking my neck and jumped down as quietly as possible onto the nearest platform. I landed with a soft _thud,_ but overall was pretty pleased so far with my sneaking ability.

Smiling proudly, I started to make my way back towards my flet, more than ready now for a good night's rest. My positive demeanor didn't last long. I nearly jumped out of my skin as I heard footfalls right behind me and felt a hand on my arm. Spinning around, I resisted the urge to scream in fear as I took in the form standing before me. Thankfully, I quickly recognised the person as Haldir, and covered my mouth with my hand.

"Just what might you be doing out here?"

I lowered my hand and giggled shakily, catching my breath before I answered him.

"I thought that I had been caught," I laughed, running a hand through my damp hair. Haldir raised an eyebrow, asking for further explanation. "I… uh…" I didn't really know what to say, since I couldn't exactly let on that I had know about the arrival of the Ring all along. Suddenly remembering that I was wearing my sleeping clothes. I pulled my cloak tighter around me, hoping that he hadn't noticed my lack of decent clothes.

"I saw you, you know," Haldir said with a grin. I blanched before realising that he somehow wasn't angry with me.

"And… You're not mad?" I squeaked, still unsure that he had really seen me up in that tree, or if he was just teasing me because I wouldn't tell him why I was out here. Haldir shook his head.

"Nay. I will admit, I was quite worried when I noticed you perched in that tree. I did not know that you knew how to climb," he replied, cocking an eyebrow.

"Well, actually that's a funny story," I started cautiously, rubbing the back of my neck with one of my hands. Haldir continued to look at me, waiting for me to explain. "I've never climbed before, I just, ah… I didn't want anyone to know that I was watching." I cringed internally. That was quite possibly the worse explanation that I could have given him, but it was the best that I could come up with on the spot.

"And so you decided to attempt this feat at such a perilous height?"

I steered my gaze downwards to stare at my feet. _I know it was stupid, but no one was supposed to know!_ I bit my lip. I had nothing to say in response, nothing to say in my defense, because I knew that I had done something worth being scolded for, and I wasn't about to deny it.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into my chest, cheeks burning in shame. I felt Haldir rest his hands on my shoulders and I dared to risk a glance at him. His face was stern and yet not unkind. In his eyes I could see that he had truly been afraid for my safety. It was almost as bad as when I had awoken in the healing wards to see him sitting beside my bed. Unable to see him in such a state, I stepped forward and hugged him tightly, burying my face into his cloak. He hugged me back for a moment before breaking away.

"You are forgiven. However, you must promise me that you will stop making these irresponsible decisions."

I nodded stiffly, my throat dry. Only now that I was being berated did the gravity of what I had just done hit me. I had made a rash decision out of pure selfishness, and had very nearly died. _I almost died._ I swallowed, trying to get rid of the scratchiness in my throat.

"Now, care to explain to me why you were wishing to spy?"

I could have died right then and there as his piercing stare pinned me down. I had no choice, I couldn't say nothing. Haldir knew me too well, he would almost certainly be able to tell if I was lying.

"I couldn't sleep, and so I went for a walk. I noticed those… strangers and was curious." I hoped with all my might that Haldir would believe my sad excuse for an explanation. To my relief, he nodded when I had finished, seemingly believing my fib.

"Very well," he said simply.

I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, unsure if I should say something else or not. The chilly night air had begun to bite at my skin, and though the cloak was helping to ward off the cold, it was not meant to be worn over nothing but sleeping garments. I shivered involuntarily, unable to hide it any longer. This seemed to break through Haldir's icy wall of silence, and he immediately softened in expression.

"Mellon, you should have dressed warmer," he said as he wrapped an arm around me and offered me a warm smile. I smiled in return through my chattering teeth as he pulled me close and started to usher me back towards my flet. I still felt terrible that I had worried him so, but I was happy to see him smiling once again also.

"I will admit that I did not intend on being outside for so long," I replied, leaning deeper into his embrace, the warmth of his body helping to calm me down.

As we walked in the direction of my lodgings, I reflected on what I had just seen. The Fellowship had arrived in Lothlórien, and Haldir had left his post on the border to escort them into Caras Galadhon. I wondered if they had been blindfolded as they had in the book, or if they had simply been allowed to walk into the city. I knew I couldn't ask such bold questions, but I just couldn't help but wonder. I also allowed myself a moment to think about my relationship with the Marchwarden who was presently walking me back to my flet. When had we become so close? I couldn't pin a date to it; our friendship had been evolving ever since I had arrived and he had shown me around. But now, as I wore the cloak he had given me, and walked wrapped in his warmth, I couldn't help but feel like there really was something more growing between us. I realised that I was smiling at the thought, and regrettably had to bit my lip and force it away, reminding myself that if I was to leave, I couldn't be falling for Haldir.

To my relief, we arrived at my flet a few paces later. Opening the door for me, Haldir ushered me inside before closing the door behind him. I lit the lantern that hung by my bed and sat down, offering my friend another apologetic smile. Haldir smiled back more genuinely before deciding that the fire needed poking.

"Haldir, who were those people?" I asked, deciding that it was probably best that I ask about the travellers. After all, I had been spying on them, and it would probably seem strange if I wasn't at all curious about the strange group. "You told me when I first arrived that it is rare to allow travellers into Caras Galadhon."

"They have come to seek refuge from the dangers of the road. The Lady says that one one them carries a heavy burden. I know not what this burden is, but their presence brings unease to my heart. It is probable that they will be staying here for a while, several weeks, though of this I am not sure."

I nodded, debating internally whether or not to question him further on the delicate topic. After thorough thought, I spoke up again.

"It would seem that I am no longer the only mortal in Caras Galadhon."

Despite my heavy consideration before opening my mouth, I realised as soon as I had spoken that my observation was actually pretty false. Haldir caught this immediately and laughed, leaning back into his seat. I turned away and sighed at my own forgetfulness, though a smile was on my face.

"Though you are more belonging the race of the elves now than that of man, I suppose your observation is still correct," Haldir smiled, his eyes twinkling in the blue light of the lantern.

"They aren't all men, though. There are shorter ones…" I remarked innocently. Despite knowing that they were going to be short, the hobbits had been remarkably smaller than even I had expected. Gimli had been roughly as tall as I had guessed, but the hobbits really did seem to be nothing more than small children.

"Aye, there are four hobbits. Halflings, they are called by most." He paused before adding, "and a dwarf."

I couldn't resist a chuckle at Haldir's genuine distaste for Gimli. Haldir did not seem to appreciate my finding it funny, and gave me a cool look.

"We do not welcome the dwarves here in Lothlórien, nor are they welcome in any of the elven realms in Middle Earth."

I thought briefly about questioning him for the backstory on the matter of Durin's Bane, but thought better of it as I realised that Haldir's hatred of the dwarves was strong. Feeling that it would be better if we just dropped the topic of conversation completely, I quickly searched for something else to say.

"There is also an elf with them, is there not?" I asked, leaning forward to prop myself up, my elbows on my knees. Haldir nodded and relaxed slightly.

"Prince Legolas of the Woodland Realm. Though none will speak of their errand, I know that it must be of heavy import if Thranduil of Mirkwood has appointed his son to represent the elven race."

 _Oh if only you knew._ It was harder than I thought to resist the urge to fill him in on the information that he didn't know, and I had to think carefully of my words before speaking. I was now beginning to grow tired of this talk, and chose my last question carefully. My eyelids had begun to feel heavy and I was trying my best not to yawn, but I felt that I needed to question Haldir on every member of the Fellowship.

"Who are the men?"

"Aragorn, son of Arathorn, of the Dúnedain Rangers, who is known to the elves of Lothlórien, and Boromir of Gondor. In Aragorn I see a noble man, and yet this man of Gondor I feel is ill news. His eyes reveal a haunted soul, and though I fear no immediate threat from him, I do not doubt that his future will be dark."

I marvelled at his words, truly amazed in this moment at the wisdom of the elves. I knew exactly what was in store for Boromir, and the fact that Haldir has all but predicted his death based on a look in the man's eyes was pretty hard for me to comprehend. Deciding that I was getting too tired to discuss the Fellowship any longer, I shifted and sat up straight on my bed and allowed myself a yawn. It was much larger than I had anticipated, and when I was finished, I chuckled.

"I think that I'm ready to sleep, mellon," I said, rubbing my eyes as sleepiness hit me hard. I heard Haldir chuckle softly before raising from the chair.

Flopping down onto my back, I yawned again, watching as Haldir quietly pulled the chair back over to its corner before coming over to my bedside to pull the covers up over top of me. The gesture caught me off guard, but I didn't object. I was too sleepy, and besides, I didn't dislike the fact that he was tucking me in. In fact, the thought kind of made me feel warm and fuzzy. I smiled sleepily up at Haldir, eyelids half closed.

"All right. Good night, Christa," he said softly, tucking the covers in up under my chin. Then, before I could even reply, he leaned in a planted a gentle kiss on my forehead. I felt my cheeks flush and my heart flutter as he pulled away, before silently slipping from the room, closing the door behind him.

I drifted off to sleep within a matter of moments, listening to the crackling of the fireplace and with a smile on my face.

* * *

 _Ooooh things are really starting to heat up with Christa and Haldir! I know that a lot of you have expressed your concerns for poor old Haldir, but rest assured that I have a plan that will have everything working out for the best! I hope that you all enjoyed reading this chapter. I would love to see your opinions and hear what you thought, so please leave me a review! Thanks for reading, we'll be meeting the Fellowship in the next chapter, so be on the lookout for that as I will have it up as soon as I find the time to write it ;) I'm also trying to get into a more consistent posting schedule, I'm thinking Thursdays or Fridays._

 _-Eru_


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15:**

I paused to catch my breath as I rounded the last corner before the city centre, leaning heavily against a nearby mallorn. I watched my breath cloud in the chilly morning air, swirling upwards until vanishing from my gaze. My legs quivered and my lungs were burning, but I had a smile on my face. I felt better than I had ever felt before, filled with a newfound strength. Never had I imagined that I would be successful in achieving such a high level of fitness, and yet here I was, panting as my body begged for mercy after running five laps of the city.

 _I almost feel motivated enough to lift some weights!_ I laughed inwardly as I straightened and began slowly making my way back towards my lodgings. _Not sure how easy it would be to find a weight room around here though._ My grin widened slightly at my own lame humour. Pulling my water pouch from the belt at my waist, I raised it to my lips and let the last of its contents drip into my mouth. Screwing the cap back on in annoyance, I quickly pulled out my other pouch and drank, sighing as the water soothed the fire in my throat.

The night before has passed in the blink of an eye. A dreamless sleep had engulfed me, one that I much welcomed. I had awoken feeling refreshed and somewhat restless, so no sooner had I gotten myself out of bed and dressed, had I jogged out the door for my run.

I was giddy with a giddy excitement, one that I was finding quite impossible to contain. _The Fellowship is here!_ I almost hated myself for getting so worked up about it. After all, after living in Middle Earth amongst some of its most magical beings, shouldn't I be used to running into the characters from what I had rightfully thought to be a fictional story? I shook my head briskly, refusing to let my thoughts put a damper on my excitement. This was different, totally not the same as running into Haldir, or even Galadriel. These were the main characters, the people that I held so dear to my heart!

I lifted my water pouch up again, tilting it back to get the last of the water out. _Haldir will definitely have to introduce me to them! Well, if he wants to. Does he even get to stay in the city, or does he have to go back to the border now, I wonder? Oh, I hope that I get to meet the Fellowship! The cute little hobbits! Merry and Pippin, I wonder if they're as foolish as they are in the movies? And of course the other two hobbits, and Gimli, and Aragorn, and Lego-_

I nearly choked on the last mouthful of water as I ran into something. Startled out of my thoughts, I dropped my water pouch and coughed rather violently. I nearly jumped out of my skin as I felt a hand on my back. Turning around quickly, I blinked back the tears that her were pricking the corners of my eyes and took a deep breath. My eyes were able to focus on a golden blond head before I sneezed. _God this is embarrassing._ The hand left my back now. Apparently whoever it belonged to was reassured enough that I wasn't choking to death anymore. I sneezed a second time before I was able to gather myself. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I chuckled awkwardly and sniffled.

"Are you all right?"

I nodded my head in response, making sure that I had taken care of the tears before raising my head to greet the stranger. It was Legolas.

I stood there, mortified, as I turned the brightest shade of red. This was not how I had intended on meeting one of my favourite characters! Pulling myself from my state, I reached up to fix my hair quickly, and cleared my throat. _Do I say something?_

"Thank you, Legolas," I said nervously. I saw the look of confusion cross his features and I instantly knew that I had made my first mistake.

"I do not think that we have met before, yet it would seem that you know me," Legolas replied, one eyebrow raised slightly. It was not a challenge, not an unfriendly gesture in the slightest, but it made me feel faint with nervousness.

"No, we haven't met, but I have heard about you," I replied, gathering my wits about me the best that I could. "I am a friend of Haldir's," I added, feeling that that information would help.

As I waited for his response, I took a couple of seconds to look the woodland prince over. The blonde elf was just as tall as Haldir, if not slightly taller. Though not the spitting image of Orlando Bloom, the resemblance was uncanny, as I had instantly recognised him. Legolas' hair was more of a golden blonde than Haldir's silver, and he was built leaner, though it was evident that he was just as strong. Most startling of all were his eyes, as blue as a clear summer sky. For an elf, his eyes did not seem to hold as much wisdom as others that I had seen during my stay in Lothlórien. Legolas' eyes seemed almost childish in comparison, though saying that the prince himself was childlike couldn't be farther from the wore a silver tunic, and it seemed almost strange to me that I was seeing him in the absence of his bow and quiver, but I figured that he didn't really need to be carting them around the city.

"I see," Legolas nodded, a friendly smile appearing on his face. "Do you live in Lothlórien? I had not thought to find a mortal dwelling within the Goldenwood."

I pursed my lips. What exactly was my story again? I honestly couldn't remember what I had told everyone upon arriving here, besides the fact that I was lost and had no idea where I was.

"I've been living as a guest of the Lady Galadriel for several months," I supplied, hesitant to disclose more information than that. Even so, I had perhaps already spilled too much. Anyone would be curious as to why the Lady of Light would hold a mortal in high enough honour to have them as a guest, much less for such a long duration of time. Thankfully, the elf did not press the matter any further.

"My name is Christa, by the way," I offered after a moment of silence that probably only seemed long to me. I smiled, trying to push aside the fact that I probably looked like a mess.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Christa," Legolas smiled in return, tipping his head slightly in a gesture of greeting before turning away to look across the woods. "I do hope that you will pardon me, for I must take my leave."

"Of course," I said right away, not wanting to keep him from whatever he needed to go off and do. He offered me another polite smile before heading off in the direction that I had come from.

I stood there for a moment, looking down at the ground. _Well, that just happened._ I took a deep breath to steady myself as I realised that my legs were shaking. I hoped that I had not been noticeably nervous. I didn't want him to think that I was nervous of him or anything. I rolled my eyes at my ridiculous behaviour before continuing on my way to my flet.

After running back to grab my forgotten water pouch, I made it back to my flet, thankfully without running into anyone else. I had made sure to take an extra wide berth around the main tree, for if my memory served me correctly, that was were the Fellowship would be camping out for the duration of their stay. I didn't even see the pavilion that was supposedly set up for the guests as I made my way up the winding stairs, but I supposed that it must have been around somewhere.

A bath worked wonders to calm me down. I had filled the tub with more hot water than usual, and was now enjoying an almost hot tub-like experience, enhanced by the relaxing aromas of the bath balms and soaps that were lined up beside the tub. As much as I wished to remain there in the steamy water for the duration of the day, my stomach was quick to remind me that I had not yet eaten.

Once I had reluctantly pulled myself from the warm comforts of the bath, I quickly dressed in several layers of clothes and headed out in search of food.

* * *

"I was wondering when you would show up," I said as I looked down the shaft of my arrow at the target at the far end of the range. Haldir stepped up beside me as I took my shot. It wasn't my best, and landed in the second innermost ring of the target, but he didn't seem to notice.

"You are getting quite perceptive, aren't you?" Haldir chuckled.

I shrugged my shoulders as I nocked another arrow before raising my bow to take aim again.

"Yeah, I guess it's just all a part of the whole becoming an elf thing…" I said, my voice low. I wasn't sure if there was anyone standing near enough to hear us speaking, so I figured that I had better err on the side of caution. I saw Haldir nod out of the corner of my eye.

My next arrow also missed the center, and I huffed. The hot bath had obviously not been enough to clear my mind of my less than ideal meeting with Legolas this morning. _It's just not fair, none of them were supposed to see me like that._ I pouted.

"What is on your mind?" Haldir asked me, a hint of humour in his voice as he noticed my facial expression. I quickly wiped it off and turned to him.

"Oh, nothing." I said as casually as possible. I knew that Haldir wouldn't take that as a final answer, but I had no idea how to explain to him that I had embarrassed myself in front of one of my favourite characters. _Just tell the truth, you're not getting out of this._ My thoughts were confirmed by my friend, one eyebrow lifted as he waited expectantly for an explanation.

"I ran into Legolas this morning, quite literally," I laughed in embarrassment as Haldir's eyes widened. "It wasn't as bad as it sounds… I was only walking," I added, watching as Haldir's expression changed to one of humour.

"It's really not that funny," I exclaimed as he started to chuckle. "I was all sweaty from my run!"

"I find your obvious chagrin quite amusing," he admitted. He was no longer chuckling, but instead wore a large grin. In response, I dropped my bow and took a step forward, giving him quite the two-handed shove across the chest. Caught off guard, Haldir tumbled backwards and landed in the grass.

Satisfied that he would not be laughing at my expense any longer, I dusted my hands off dramatically and picked up my bow. As I drew another arrow from my quiver, I caught movement out of the corner of my eye.

Turning too late to react, my eyes widened and I felt the wind get knocked out of me as I was tackled to the ground. Landing in the cold grass with a _thud_ , I tried to regain my breath as Haldir rolled away from me and made to stand up. I tried unsuccessfully to grab for his ankle as he made his escape, but upon realising that I had been too slow, I dropped my head back onto the ground and lay there, heaving as my breath returned to me.

"Uncalled for!" I gasped as soon as I could speak, too shaken to move my head to look for the culprit. As if on cue, Haldir's face popped into my vision, blocking the afternoon sun as he looked down at me, smirking.

"Next time, perhaps you will think twice before assaulting the Marchwarden of Lorien," he stated matter-of-factly. Normally, this would have alarmed me, but not this time. This time, I knew he was just trying to frighten me as a jest.

"Oh, stop trying to scare me," I laughed as I sat up slowly, grimacing slightly through my smile as I felt my body object to the movement. "Seriously, was that really necessary?" I looked up at him, one of my eyebrows lifted. He shrugged, and I could tell that he was trying his hardest not to crack a smile.

"Here," he said after a moment, offering me a hand up. I contemplated just dragging him down with me, but thought better of it. I didn't need to be tackled again, and my body probably wouldn't agree with me putting all my strength into bringing Haldir down anyways. Taking the hand that he held out to me, I clasped it and groaned as I stood.

"My apologies," Haldir said once I was on my feet, rubbing the tender spot below my ribs where his shoulder had caught me. I looked up at him and saw that he had dropped his jest and was offering me a sincerely sorry smile. I smiled too, despite my aches.

"I guess my hand-to-hand skills are getting a little rusty," I said as I bent over slowly to pick up my discarded bow.

"If you wish, we can practice," Haldir suggested.

"I'd like that, but not today," I laughed as I grabbed my bow and straightened up, grinning. "and probably not tomorrow either. I'll probably be pretty sore for the next few days," I added, shooting him a playfully accusing look.

"Well, in that case, whenever you are feeling up to it," Haldir said with a smile.

Deciding that I had had enough of the archery range, I packed up my stuff and Haldir and I made our way back towards the city. We walked at a leisurely pace, in no rush to get anywhere, since we didn't really have a destination in mind. After a few moments of comfortable silence, I decided to ask him about the Fellowship.

"Do you think I will be able to meet them?" I asked out of the silence, turning towards my friend, who met my gaze.

"Meet who?" he asked in return. I sighed.

"The… Visitors," I offered, unsure of what exactly to call them, as I didn't think that Haldir had introduced them to me as the Fellowship.

"I am not sure that I am in any place to introduce you, Christa. I know not much more than you do concerning them, and I feel that they would prefer to be left in peace for the time being."

I furrowed my brow as I turned my gaze back down to the path at my feet. "All right," I said after a moment, electing to just let it go. I could see no real reason to leave the Fellowship alone, but if Haldir didn't want to introduce me, then so be it. It wasn't like I was going to listen to him this time anyways.

* * *

I rose early the next morning, not because I had intended on doing so, but because I had been unable to sleep any longer due to anticipation. As I decided to roll out of bed and draw my bath, I had one thought on my mind: today I was going to introduce myself to the Fellowship, and there was nothing that anyone could do to get in my way.

Perhaps it all seemed a little bit too dramatic in my mind, but I still felt as if I was going against some unspoken rule as I went about my morning routine. Haldir had never told me outright to not go seeking the travellers out, but then again, I hadn't told him my plans. Whether or not he suspected me of going down to meet them or not, I couldn't help but feel like I was being watched, and the thought only made me more excited to get out my door.

I spent longer than usual in the bath, and instead of melting away comfortably in the warm waters, I set right to work cleaning myself up. I washed my hair twice, taking the time to work all the way down to my roots with my fingertips. After rinsing my hair for the second time, I scrubbed myself over meticulously, making sure that every last speck of dirt had been removed from my skin. I paused for a moment, fingers running along the porcelain skin on my legs where my stretch marks had been, but didn't allow myself any time to get lost in the turmoil of emotions. I rinsed myself off and climbed out of the tub, quickly wrapping myself in a towel and rubbing myself dry. I then brushed through my hair and pulled it into a quick half-up half-down style, taking care to place some of my hair overtop of my pointed ears. I fastened my silver clip at the back of my head and smiled at my reflection in the mirror. Wandering over to the fireplace, I prodded at it with the poker, urging it into a bright flame once more, before scurrying out of the bathroom to get dressed.

I glanced out through the window in my bedroom and noted with glee that the sun had finally begun to rise above the trees. It seemed that I had been awake forever in the darkness, waiting for the day's light to seep through the thick golden foliage. It was now safe to say that it was a reasonable hour for those who needed rest to be waking. I quickly dressed in one of my newer tunics and a dark grey pair of leggings, and pulled on my grey leather boots. The thick grey cloak that Haldir had given me was pulled on last.

I paused as I reached for the doorknob, doubt suddenly settling on my shoulders. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. What if Haldir found out that I had disturbed the Fellowship? _Nothing, that's what. Since when do I worry about what Haldir thinks of my decisions?_ Shoving the nagging feeling of guilt from my mind, I opened up my door and stepped out into the brisk morning air.

The chilly breeze nipped at my nose and cheeks, painting them a bright red. As I made my way down the main set of winding stairs, I watched as my breath clouded before drifting away. _It's already January,_ I thought wistfully to myself. _I've been here for nearly half a year._ The thought struck a cord in my heart and I nearly came to a stop in the middle of the stairs. Had the same amount of time passed back home? Surely not… My family couldn't possibly have left me to my own devices for so long with so little hope of my ever waking up. Suddenly, a horrifying though came to mind. _What if they pull the cord on me?_ This time, I did falter in my steps. Taking a moment to calm my thoughts, I leaned on one of the pillars closest to the trunk of the great tree and closed my eyes. _Would I even know? Surely I'm not already stuck here…_ I clenched my fists and opened my eyes, shaking my head resolutely. I would know. Somehow, I would know it if I was already dead. _The Valar would have told me if my body back home had been killed._

Though I couldn't quite shake the fear that now gnawed at the back of my mind, I forced myself not to dwell on it. Continuing on my way, I allowed my excitement to make its return as I neared the lower levels of the tree. By the time that my boots touched the grass at the foot of the stairs, I was practically weak with excitement.

Now that I was on the ground, my eyes scanned the forest around me, searching for the Fellowship's camp. _On a lawn…_ I reminded myself, hoping that my knowledge was indeed correct. Hanging a right, I walked quickly along the grass in the direction of the nearest clearing that I knew of.

Not a minute later, my keen eyes caught a glimpse of shimmering white through the trees. I crept through the forest as my legs turned to jello, ignoring myself as I begged to turn back. I could just wait to be introduced later under other circumstances. I kept walking, however, knowing that if I didn't do this now, I would be too chicken to ever try again on my own.

I could hear voices now above the gentle rustling of the leaves over my head. Leaning up against a tree trunk, I stopped to listen in on the conversation to make sure that I wasn't about to intrude on anything private.

"Why can't I have another?"

I had to resist the urge to chuckle at the first thing that I heard, and guessed that it was either Merry or Pippin who had asked.

"Because there are some of us who have yet to eat," came the reply. My best guess for that one was Sam, though I wasn't sure.

"Just one more?" the first voice piped up with an accent that sounded quite Scottish. I smiled to myself.

 _Well, I suppose now is a good a time as ever!_ Taking a deep breath, I stood up, hoping that it wouldn't seem like I had been spying on the group. I hesitated. _Go, go go! Come on… Go!_ I was just about to step out from behind the tree when movement in front of me made me jump. I gasped and stumbled backwards to hide farther around the tree, startled.

"Hello," I heard a small voice remark casually from the other side of the tree. My heart was racing as I gathered myself and watched as a hobbit took another stepped around the tree to face me.

"Hello," I stuttered, the word feeling strange on my tongue as I stared wide-eyed at the tiny figure standing in front of me. "Forgive me, I did not mean to spy." It had been a long while since I had last spoken the Common Tongue, and I had needed to think for a moment before speaking.

"What, if I may ask, where you doing then?" the hobbit inquired with furrowed brows, his curly brown hair bouncing as he tilted his head.

"Well, I was actually going to introduce myself." I replied after taking a short moment to calm myself down. Glad that I had managed to speak without stuttering for once, I offered the hobbit a friendly smile.

"Perhaps then you should not be hiding?" came the small figure's reply. I couldn't help but chuckle at his words.

"Perhaps you are right," I smiled down at him, pleased when the hobbit grinned back. "My name is Tawariell." It was probably best if I used my adopted name for introductions from now on, as I had begun to grow tired of explaining my true name's origins.

"I'm Merry," the hobbit replied, confirming my guess. "Pleased to meet you, lady Tawariell."

"Tawariell will do," I laughed easily, my nerves forgotten in the presence of the Halfling.

"Well, now that I know your name, and you know mine, let's go meet the others," Merry said, grinning up at me through his brown locks. He then grabbed my hand and led me out from behind the tree.

I could see the pavilion now, its white panels blowing gently in the soft breeze. The knot in my stomach started to twist itself back together, but I smiled through it, hoping that everything would workout okay. The smell of sausages made my stomach rumble, and I hoped that Merry hadn't heard. _Should have eaten first._

The hobbit seemed to take no notice, and soon we had rounded the pavilion and were walking towards the group. Seven figures of varying shapes and sizes were sitting around a campfire, and I saw several of their faces for the first time. My hands trembled.

"Don't be nervous, Lady Tawariell. My friends are all very kind," Merry leaned in and whispered up to me, smiling encouragingly. I returned the smile. _I'm nervous for nothing._

A couple of heads were lifted at the sound of our feet, and I put on my most confident smile as I felt their eyes on me.

"Ah, master Merry. We had begun to wonder where about you had gone," a man spoke up at our approach. "Who might this be?"

I lifted my eyes to see who had spoken and met the intent gaze of a dark-haired man. He sat on a log beside Legolas and another man, who could only have been Boromir, judging by the white tree that adorned his garments. He was leaning forward, casually resting his elbows on his knees as he waited for an answer. _Aragorn._

"This is Tawariell. She wanted to introduce herself," Merry supplied matter-of-factly as I opened my mouth to reply. I smiled politely, shifting my gaze to the other members of the Fellowship.

"Why, Merry, you've found an elf maiden!" One of the hobbits exclaimed at my introduction, before getting a dirty look from the stouter Halfling who was seated beside him.

"Oh, I'm actually not an elf," I said quickly, watching as the young hobbit's face fell at my words, before he looked up again and smiled warmly.

"Well, I suppose that's all right. You've got an elf name, and you dress like an elf," Pippin said quickly as he stood up. "My name's Peregrin Took."

"But we call him Pippin," Merry finished for his cousin, looking up at me. I smiled, holding back a giggle.

"It's nice to meet you, Pippin," I said, smiling genuinely. Pippin seemed pleased and sat down again beside Sam, who rolled his eyes subtly. Before anyone else could do their own introductions, Merry was talking again.

"Beside him is Sam, who does most of the work cooking. Makes some good food, he does, but we're starting to run low on sausages," he said, brow furrowing in concern. I hid a grin as he continued.

"Boromir is seated on that log over there, and beside him is Strider… Aragorn." Both men gave me a nod of acknowledgment, though the latter's seemed a bit more sincere. I tried not to hold eye contact with the Lord of Gondor for longer than I had to, afraid that my troubled thoughts regarding his future would become apparent.

"Then there's Legolas, the elf of Mirkwood, and Gimli, a dwarf." Both men offered me a warm smile, and Legolas gave a nod of familiarity. I nodded back, before turning to look for the last little hobbit, who was nowhere to be seen.

"And Frodo, where's he gone?" Merry asked, suddenly realising that the most important member of the Fellowship appeared to be absent. This matter didn't bother me. I was sure that he was around somewhere, brooding over his own troubles. I felt pity for the young hobbit, but was silently relieved that he was not around. The matter of the Ring of Power had not crossed my mind much before, but now that I was standing in the presence of the Fellowship, I was glad that I didn't have to worry about the Ring being so near.

"Frodo wished for some time to himself," Aragorn supplied, his expression calm as he straightened up. Merry nodded in understanding.

"Tawariell and I made our acquaintance yesterday morning," Legolas spoke up once the matter of Frodo had been taken care of. "though I do believe you introduced yourself by another name." He turned towards me, curious. _I did, didn't I? Oops._

"Oh, yes. I suppose I have told a lie," I started, reaching up to rub the back of my neck nervously. "My real name is actually Christa. Tawariell was a name given to me by the elves of Lothlórien upon my arrival," I explained.

"You are an elf-friend, then?" Aragorn asked me, his interest piqued. I shook my head quickly with a chuckle.

"No, no. I have done nothing spectacular enough to deserve such a title. It is simply an alias that I was given since none knew my real name."

"I like the name Christa. It's quite hobbit-like, though I can't say as I've ever heard it before." Pippin piped up again, and I laughed at his words. The blonde hobbit was certainly living up to my expectations, and I was pleased with his curious and friendly nature.

"Tawariell, daughter of the forest." Legolas said pensively to no one in particular. I turned my gaze back to him, waiting as I anticipated what he was going to say next. "You say there is no meaning behind this adopted name, but I would have to disagree. The elves take great care in naming, and I do not think that your name is an exception. From where do you hail, Lady Christa? If I may address you as such."

I nodded. "Of course, I would prefer it, actually." I paused then, scrambling to decide what to tell them. "I awoke one day in Lothlórien, confused and unsure as to where I was. I was discovered by the Galadhrim and brought back to Caras Galadhon, where I was granted a room to stay. I come from a land that appears to be unknown, even to the elves, as the Lady Galadriel has no knowledge of it." I hoped that that would suffice as an explanation, as I didn't want to discuss my past any longer.

If Legolas was shocked by this information, he did not show it. For the first time since my arrival, the two who had not yet spoken voiced their concerns.

"She knows nothing; you say?" Boromir said doubtfully. I furrowed my brows slightly, and was about to speak, but another voice beat me to it.

"The Lady can penetrate the minds of others. Surely she has some knowledge of your lands?" Gimli said gruffly from beside Legolas. I shook my head slowly.

"She knows nothing of my home, but I wish that she did."

The Fellowship was quiet then, and I shifted uncomfortably as I stood next to Merry. Thankfully, sensing my unease, the hobbit clasped my hand again and I was led to a log where he plopped down and patted the empty space beside him.

"We were just about to eat," Merry said, grinning in anticipation as I sat down.

"Some of us already have," Sam said, turning towards Pippin, who shrugged his shoulders.

"I was hungry!" Pippin exclaimed. I laughed then, a smile returning to my lips.

"I'd offer some breakfast to you, Lady Christa, but I'm afraid that I only made enough for the seven of us," Same looked up at me, brown eyes shining with sympathy. I was already shaking my head before he had finished his sentence.

"No, don't worry about it, Sam. It would have been wiser of me to wait until after breakfast to visit," I said, sincerely wishing that I had not make the hobbit feel bad for not having enough food for me. Sam smiled thankfully before turning back to the fire to remove the sausages from the frying pan.

"I'll leave you all to your breakfast," I offered as Sam removed the food and pan and began to divvy it out onto a set of plate.

"You can't stay?" Merry asked from my side. I laughed before patting him gently on the shoulder.

"I'm sure that we will be seeing one another again soon, Merry," I said with a friendly smile. The hobbit smiled too, though I could tell that he was disappointed that I was leaving.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Christa," Aragorn said as I stood to leave.

"Please, visit any time," Legolas added from beside him. I grinned my thanks.

"Thank you, I will be sure to return soon," I replied, bowing my head in thanks before turning to look at Merry with a smile. With another quick nod, I turned and left the Fellowship to their breakfast.

I had not walked far when my stomach rumbled angrily, and I laughed quietly to myself. _Yeah, yeah, we're going to eat now._ My heart was cheerful and my step light as I made my way to the Dining Hall for some much anticipated breakfast.

* * *

 _Eeep! Finally! I've been eagerly anticipating this chapter for a long time, and it's finally finished! I hope that you all enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. I hope that my introduction of the Fellowship was good enough. I didn't really go into much detail for the characters themselves, and not all of them got a chance to say much of importance, but I still had fun with it._

 _No promises as to when the next chapter will be up, as I have a big paper due next Wednesday, among other assignments, but I will hopefully be able to start it soon._

 _Thanks for reading, please leave me a review and let me know what your thoughts are so far on the Fellowship! As I said, there's still some more detailed information to be taken care of, but I will be elaborating on important stuff in the next couple of chapters._

 _Get ready for a bumpy ride! Heehee._

 _-Eru_


	16. Chapter 16

_Hey everyone! Sorry for the long wait for this chapter, I've been really busy with university as well as dealing with some slight writer's block. I hope that you all enjoy this next chapter._

 _Also, I have put together a_ _ **tumblr blog**_ _for this story! It is called_ _ **Waking-Dreams-Fanfic**_ _. I encourage everyone to go and check it out, and follow it if you have a tumblr account (or create one if you don't already! ;) ). I will be posting periodically about important events going on in the story, updating Christa's location and skills, etc. So I hope that you will all go and take a peek!_

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ _There is a lot of book dialogue in this chapter, which of course I do not own and take no credit for. Enjoy!_

* * *

 **Chapter 16**

"Good morning, Haldir," I smiled as I put my plate down on the table and settled myself slowly into the empty seat beside him. "And good morning, Rúmil, Orophin," I added, giving them each a friendly nod.

"You seem to be rather jovial this morning," Rúmil remarked casually.

"She does appear to be quite… exuberant," Haldir said in response before I could reply. "Despite yesterday," he added with a smirk. I raised an eyebrow playfully.

"Is there something wrong with being happy?" I asked, grinning at them. Haldir shook his head, a smile playing on his lips.

"No, of course not," he chuckled, waving a hand as he dismissed my teasing.

"What transpired yesterday that I have not heard about?" Orophin asked Haldir, brows raised in curiosity.

"I offended him," I said with a sheepish grin that I was unable to hold back. That was all I said, as I was unwilling to offer any more information about my failed attempt at revenge.

"And I promptly reminded her that she should not have," Haldir finished, giving me a mischievous grin. I felt my cheeks get hot as Rúmil and Orophin turned towards me, amused expressions on their faces.

"I knocked him over," I explained, knowing that they would want to know exactly what had happened. "And then he, well, did the same to me, only much more effectively." As I spoke, I reached down to touch the tender spot below my ribs and ran my fingers over it gently, wincing slightly as I did.

"She was quite winded," Haldir teased me. I was tempted to stick my tongue out at him, but I resisted the childish urge. Instead, I rolled my eyes as the three of them started to laugh.

Despite being somewhat embarrassed from the whole ordeal, I couldn't help but join in. The four of us enjoyed a moment of pure, unrestrained laughter, and I suddenly felt myself get lost in it. In those few seconds, my thoughts trained on the elves around me, the sounds of their laughter. It all felt so surreal, though it was no different from any of the other times that I had sat here at this very table with these four people. But for whatever reason, I found myself taking in their faces, their expressions of pure mirth, and I found myself wondering what would become of them. _What will become of us?_ I had no idea what to expect. Over the next couple of months, my life was going to be flipped upside-down. My very fate was in the hands of the Valar, the guardians of Middle Earth, and there was nothing that I could do about it.

" _That is not true, you know this."_

My laughter died on my lips, my smile frozen at Lady Galadriel's words. If any of my companions noticed my sudden change in demeanor, they said nothing. I played it off with a chuckle, settling down to eat as the others did the same, still wearing their smiles.

" _I don't know what I'm supposed to think anymore."_ I thought, hoping that Galadriel was still listening. I waited for a moment, but got no reply from the Lady of Light. Shaking my head to myself, I finished up my eggs and potatoes and emptied my glass before standing up.

"I'm sorry, I need to go," I said with an apologetic smile as I picked up my dishes. The three of them looked up at me from my meals. Haldir looked concerned. _Great, I suck at playing it cool._

"You have only just arrived," he pointed out, eyes searching my own. I looked down quickly, too anxious to hold his gaze in such a public place.

"I told Hérion that I would help out with chores this morning," I lied, looking back up at my friend with my most sincere smile, hoping that he would buy it. Haldir nodded slowly before meeting my gaze again.

"Very well. Will I be seeing you at the range this afternoon?"

I nodded. "Of course, I wouldn't skip archery practice," I said, tugging the corners of my mouth up quickly before turning to the other two brothers. "Enjoy the rest of your day."

With one last farewell nod, I turned and quickly made my exit, dropping my dishes off on my way out. The dining hall had quickly started to feel stuffy, despite its open airiness, and I took a deep breath to steady myself as I pushed through the doors into the chilly morning air. Leaning up against the building, I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, listening to the sound of my own heartbeat as it mingled with the wind in the trees.

" _You have questions, child."_ Lady Galadriel's deep voice slipped into my thoughts. I opened my eyes slowly, not startled but still slightly unsettled that she could hear my every thought. I straightened and took a few steps away from the hall, stopping when I reached the edge of the platform.

" _Yes,"_ I replied, staring down at the forest below me. My heartbeat had begun to pick up at her words, and I was now growing anxious with every passing second as I waited for her reply. I waited for a few moments, but heard nothing, felt no voice tickling my mind. Concerned, I stepped back from the edge and began walking away slowly, no destination in mind.

Whether it was completely coincidental, or something in my subconscious had guided me, I soon found myself climbing up into the tree branches and perching against a trunk. My mind strayed as I shut my eyes, wanting nothing more than a moment's peace.

I jolted awake some hours later, and thankfully I immediately remembered that I was in a tree. Placing my hands on the branch that I was sitting on, I looked around, wondering what had woken me up so suddenly. Sure that something must have disturbed me, I sat still, listening to the rustling of the leaves until my ears caught the faintest of voices from below.

Curious, I shifted my body so that I was able to look down at the forest floor, and began searching for whoever was speaking. I knew that I was eavesdropping, but I didn't really care. It wasn't like anyone was likely to notice me up here listening to them.

A movement caught my eye and I immediately focused in on the small figure.

"Frodo and Sam," I breathed, not taking my eyes off of the tiny brunet hobbit. He had not spoken to me this morning, and despite knowing of his burden, I was still worried about him. He and Sam soon disappeared from my sight, and I pursed my lips before deciding to follow them. They weren't likely to get into any trouble in Caras Galadhon, but I was curious to find out where they were going.

After making my way out from the tree, I quickly crept across the wooden platform, my footfalls barely audible. I smiled to myself as I walked, enjoying the thought of how sneaky I had become over the last few days. Or at least, how sneaky I liked to _think_ I had become. Every couple of minutes, I would glance over the edge to make sure that I hadn't lost the two hobbits, but they were fairly easy to keep track of. Despite not being able to make out what they were saying, I could hear the gentle hum of their voices from below. Soon I realised that they had stopped moving, and had to backtrack a few steps. Taking to the trees once again, I peered down through the golden foliage and realised immediately where Sam and Frodo had wound up.

From my vantage point in the trees at the edge of the clearing, I could make out the Mirror of Galadriel, standing alone in the last of sun's light. Frodo and Sam had descended the long flight of stone steps at the closest end of the clearing, and were now peering over at the mirror nervously. I couldn't see her, but I knew that Galadriel must have been standing there.

My eyes snapped back over to the mirror, and I watched in awe as Lady Galadriel stepped out, silver pitcher in hand, and filled the basin to the brim. I shuddered as I watched her breath ripple across the water. The water soon stilled, smooth as glass, and I looked to the elven lady expectantly.

"Here is the Mirror of Galadriel. I have brought you here so that you may look in it, if you will."

The hobbits appeared visibly shaken, but Frodo spoke up, his voice strangely confident despite his wary expression. "What shall we look for, and what shall we see?"

"Many things I can command the Mirror to reveal, and to some I can show what they desire to see. But the Mirror will also show things unbidden, and those are often stranger and more profitable than things which we wish to behold. What you will see, if you leave the Mirror free to work, I cannot tell. For it shows things that were, and things that are, things that yet may be. But which it is that he sees, even the wisest cannot always tell. Do you wish to look?"

I sat in the tree, awed at Galadriel's words. Frodo stood silently now, unwilling to answer her question. I watched as Sam, however, looked at the mirror intently. Galadriel must have noticed this, for she turned to him.

"And you? This is what your folk would call magic. I believe; though I do not understand clearly what they mean; and they seem also to use the same word of the deceits of the Enemy. But this, if you will, is the magic of Galadriel. Did you not say that you wished to see Elf-magic?"

"I'll have a peep, Lady, if you're willing." Sam replied. I could see from my perch that his hands were trembling, and I could hear it in his voice. He turned to Frodo and spoke, but I was not listening.

Was it right for me to be eavesdropping like this? _Should I even be here?_ I knew the answer was 'no', and yet I couldn't bring myself to leave. I was about to witness one of the most critical scenes of _The Lord of the Rings_! Though I feel uneasy about spying on them, I couldn't help but feel excitement rising in my chest as Sam stepped forward, climbing up onto the base of the pedestal.

I was thankful that I could not see the imagery that was being projected onto the water's surface. I would have liked the refresher, as I couldn't quite remember exactly what it was that Sam had seen, but I figured that I had no business needing to know anyways. _I need to stop thinking about this in the past now, I guess. Barely anything has happened yet! The Ring still exists, Boromir is still alive, and Middle Earth is still in danger._

 _Nobody except me knows what is going to happen over the course of the next few months._ The weight of that thought suddenly dropped onto my shoulders, and I was amazed to think that I had not been more concerned about the idea sooner. Sure, it had crossed my mind, but now it was actually happening, right before my very eyes. _And I can't tell a soul._

I was pulled from my thoughts as Sam began yelling. I turned my gaze back down towards the mirror to see him leaping away, his hands clutching the sides of his head, his eyes wild with fear.

"I can't stay here! I must go home. They've dug up Bagshot Row, and there's the poor old gaffer going down the Hill with his bits of things on a barrow. I must go home!"

I watched the poor Halfling as Galadriel quickly told him that he couldn't leave Frodo alone. Sam sank to the ground, holding his hand in his hands and looking like he was about to cry. My heart ached for him.

"Remember that the Mirror shows many things, and not all have yet come to pass. Some never come to be, unless those that behold the visions turn aside from their path to prevent them. The Mirror is dangerous as a guide of deeds," Galadriel finished, eyes watching the hobbit intently.

"I wish I had never come here, and I don't want to see no more magic," Sam sniffled, and I could tell that he was trying his hardest not to let the tears fall. _Oh Sam, if only you knew how important you are going to be to the success of this quest!_

"Do you now wish to look, Frodo? You did not wish to see Elf-magic and were content."

I turned my attention away from Sam and watched Frodo as he stared skeptically at the mirror.

"Do you advise me to look?" He asked, taking a small step towards Galadriel, who shook her head.

'No. I do not counsel you one way or the other. I am not a counsellor. You may learn something, and whether what you see be fair or evil, that may be profitable, and yet it may not. Seeing is both good and perilous. Yet I think, Frodo, that you have courage and wisdom enough for the venture, or I would not have brought you here. Do as you will!"

"I will look, Frodo said after a moment of thinking. I leaned forward on my branch, wondering if I might be able to see the mirror's surface from a different vantage point, but quickly decided to stay where I was. The dark haired hobbit stepped up onto the base of the pedestal, just as Sam had and peered down at the smooth, dark surface.

I could see nothing but colours on the water's surface, shimmering first in hues of blue, then red, and afterwards white. The surface faded to grey, and Frodo sighed. He began to pull away from the mirror, but suddenly appeared to be drawn back towards it. The mirror had lost all light and was nothing more than a black abyss, but then began to flicker with fire. I gasped, unable to stop myself, and quickly turned away, fearing the Eye that I knew was staring at Frodo through the mirror. Terror clutched at my heart and I took a deep breath, willing myself to stay calm and quite. I gripped the tree tighter, swallowing my fear, and turned to look back at Frodo as Galadriel's voice filled the late evening air.

"Do not touch the water!" Her voice was soft, almost soothing, and yet it held the commanding air that pulled Frodo from the clutches of the Ring. Visibly shaken, the dark-haired hobbit stepped quickly down from the mirror and stared at Lady Galadriel, afraid.

"I know what it was that you last saw, for that is also in my mind. Do not be afraid! But do not think that only by singing amid the trees, nor even by the slender arrows of elven-bows, is this land of Lothlórien maintained and defended against its Enemy. I say to you, Frodo, that even as I speak to you, I perceive the Dark Lord and know his mind, or all of his mind that concerns the Elves. And he gropes ever to see me and my thought. But still the door is closed!"

In a dramatic display, the elven lady raised both of her arms as the stars shone down on her figure. I drew a breath in awe as my eyes caught the silver glow of Nenya on her finger, glimmering in the starlight.

"Yes," Galadriel spoke up again. Frodo was staring in awe and understanding at the silver ring. "It is not permitted to speak of it, and Elrond could not do so. But it cannot be hidden from the Ring-bearer, and one who has seen the Eye. Verily it is in the land of Lórien upon the finger of Galadriel that one of the Three remains. This is Nenya, the Ring of Adamant, and I am its keeper."

"He suspects, but he does not know - not yet. Do you not see now wherefore your coming is to us as the footstep of Doom? For if you fail, then we are laid bare to the Enemy. Yet if you succeed, then our power is diminished, and Lothlórien will fade, and the tides of Time will sweep it away. We must depart into the West, or dwindle to a rustic folk of dell and cave, slowly to forget and to be forgotten."

Galadriel's speech had always made me sad, but now that I had been dwelling here in the Goldenwood amongst the elven people, it made me feel hollow to think that someday the forest would lose its magic, and the city would be no more. Her words were not weary ones, and yet I could feel the sorrow in her voice as she thought about the inevitability of Lothlórien's last days. I frowned deeply as I pictured the forest, its once magnificent mallorn trees bare and broken, the city nothing but a crumbling whisper of what it had once been.

"And what do you wish?" Frodo asked her then, after a long moment of thoughtful silence.

"That what should be shall be,' she answered. `The love of the Elves for their land and their works is deeper than the deeps of the Sea, and their regret is undying and cannot ever wholly be assuaged. Yet they will cast all away rather than submit to Sauron: for they know him now. For the fate of Lothlórien you are not answerable but only for the doing of your own task. Yet I could wish, were it of any avail, that the One Ring had never been wrought, or had remained for ever lost," Galadriel replied, and I could see in her eyes the sorrow which she felt for her beautiful forest and its people.

"You are wise and fearless and fair, Lady Galadriel. I will give you the One Ring, if you ask for it. It is too great a matter for me."

At Frodo's words, I tensed, gripping the tree trunk tightly again. I knew what was about to happen next, and I wasn't entirely sure that I was ready to witness it. But curiosity won me over before I could even think about leaving, and I sat, hardly daring to breath, as I waited for her response.

"Wise the Lady Galadriel may be, yet here she has met her match in courtesy. Gently are you revenged for my testing of your heart at our first meeting. You begin to see with a keen eye. I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired to ask what you offer. For many long years I had pondered what I might do, should the Great Ring come into my hands, and behold! it was brought within my grasp. The evil that was devised long ago works on in many ways, whether Sauron himself stands or falls. Would not that have been a noble deed to set to the credit of his Ring, if I had taken it by force or fear from my guest?"

The very air around Galadriel seemed to change in that moment. The ring on her finger shone brightly, bathing the elven lady in an eerie white glow. I quickly raised a hand to shield my eyes, caught off guard by the overwhelming brightness of her illuminated figure, which now to me seemed far taller than normal. Her hair cascaded around her, whipping around in a flurry of silver gold, and her eyes shone bright and beautiful. Despite her beauty, I felt my own hands begin to tremble, even as I looked down upon her.

"And now at last it comes. You will give me the Ring freely! In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!"

As soon as she had finished speaking, Nenya's light vanished, and Galadriel stood, her eyes wide and her face flushed. I shook off the fear that I had felt and watched in bemusement as Lady Galadriel caught her breath, looking at the ground at her feet in disbelief. Frodo was now clutching the ring tightly, and quickly tucked it back under his shirt.

"I pass the test," she said between breaths. "I will diminish, and go into the West and remain Galadriel."

I found myself grinning as I watched her turn to the two hobbits.

"Let us return!" She said to them, having regained her composure. I watched as the three figures disappeared up the stairs, and knew then that already something had been changed. Frodo had looked into the mirror much earlier than I had expected. I wasn't too disturbed by this, but still the thought clung to the back of my mind as I clambered from the tree, being careful to not rustle the leaves as I hoped back onto the wooden platform.

" _Come to my halls. I have not seen you, but I know what you have witnessed. That Frodo carries the ring does not seem to come as a surprise to you. I would suggest something to you, child."_ I had not walked 10 paces when I heard Galadriel's deep voice in my mind.

" _Okay,"_ was all I was able to think in reply, and I quickly started to make my way towards the Lord and Lady's halls.

The sky was black by the time I reached the building, but the twinkling of the silvery blue lights in the trees lit up the space as well as the sun did during the day. As I approached the huge doors, the two armed guards gave me a nod before swinging the doors open for me. Putting on my bravest face, I stepped through and walked into the large hall.

Galadriel was waiting for me at the end of the room, standing beside her seat. Bowing my head as I approached her, I felt myself growing nervous. What did she have to tell me?

"Christa, it is wonderful to see you, child." Galadriel started as I lifted my head to face her, avoiding her eyes. She stepped down the stairs then, coming to stand in front of me. "There is much that we must discuss. Come, we shall do so in private."

I nodded my head quickly, swallowing hard before following her into the room off the main hall. _The room where you learned that you're becoming an elf._ I took a seat at the table at the centre of the room, and Galadriel did the same, sitting across from me just as she had done the last time we had been here. I took a deep breath, willing myself to be brave, to be calm this time. No matter what Galadriel had to say to me this time, I was going to try to keep my cool and think rationally.

"' _You know of many of the perils that are to come.'_ This is what Irmo said to you in my dream, as you surely remember." I nodded, brows furrowing at her choice of starting words.

"You knew about the Ring of power."

I nodded again at her blunt statement, a knot growing in the pit of my stomach. Galadriel looked at me pensively, as if reading into thoughts that I myself couldn't even make sense of.

"If what Irmo has said is true, then you know about all that is to come," she said gently, watching me. I nodded again.

"I know… a great deal about everything that has not yet happened," I said carefully. I certainly wasn't all-knowing, as my knowledge of the third book was all but non-existent. _Thank goodness for movies._ I heard Galadriel chuckle then, and I looked up quickly before realising that she had been listening to my thoughts. She didn't bother to ask me what a movie was, and for that I was thankful.

"I suggest then, that you depart Lothlórien in the company of the Fellowship."

I blanched. "Sorry?"

Galadriel regarded me calmly. "I believe that it is the best course of action, Christa."

I shook my head continuously as my eyes dropped to the table, lips parted as I struggled to find words to argue her suggestion. _I can't leave! I can't. I wouldn't last a day out in the wilderness! I can't go. It's not canon!_ My thoughts became borderline nonsensical as my eyes darted about the room before landing once again on Lady Galadriel.

"I can't leave Lothlórien," I whispered as my thoughts calmed down, probably thanks to Galadriel's presence in my mind. Galadriel smiled slightly at my insistent words, and I was sure that I saw a hint of sadness in her eyes. But perhaps that was just me hoping to convince her that she was wrong.

"I fear Lothlórien has given you all that it has to offer, my child. Its people have welcomed you with open arms, but it is time that you move on. You have not found happiness within the golden branches of Lorien."

I couldn't even shake my head anymore. I simply stared at her, my vision hazy as her words spun around in my head.

"Estë wished for you to find happiness in Middle Earth. I do not believe that you will find it here," Galadriel added, prompting me to focus as my eyes met hers. For once, they were not piercing, and I was able to hold her gaze with ease. My lips parted and I suddenly let out a sob as I looked at her across the table.

The memories of my time in Caras Galadhon flickered across my mind. The friendly faces of the elves that I had come to recognise, and the places that I had become so comfortable in. I thought about my time spent at the stables with Faenelin and Hérion, and all the days that I was get up early to go for runs around the city. The Dining hall, where I almost always saw the warm smiles of Rúmil and Orophin, and my flet, where Raina had been such a huge help getting me settled. Then all of my thoughts focused on the one person that I couldn't bare to think about leaving behind: Haldir. Fond memories of our time spent in each other's company flooded my mind. All the time we had spent practicing on the archery range, the horseback rides we had taken through the woods, and the night we had danced as best friends at the Feast. Rúmil had hinted then that Haldir regarded me as more than just a friend, and with that thought, my heart seized.

"You do not love him."

At those words, I snapped from my reverie and stared at Galadriel, my gaze cold and hard. How could she say such a thing? Even if I didn't love him, who was she to say that with such bluntness? I gripped the edge of my seat, my knuckles turning white as I gritted my teeth. I knew it wasn't my place to voice my anger, and despite being able to keep my tongue in check, I couldn't control my body language.

"You do not love Haldir," Galadriel said again, her voice softer this time, but her words still felt like daggers in my heart. "Though you wish that you could have."

"How can you say this?" I said after taking a moment to compose myself mentally. My gaze did not waver as I held her eyes, still clenching my teeth.

"I know it in my heart," she replied, and this time I was sure that I heard the sadness in her voice. "He believes that he loves you," she added.

I furrowed my brows, taken aback by her choice of words. I didn't have a chance to question her, however, as she quickly spoke up again.

"The Fellowship shall not be leaving for nearly a month. I suggest that you acquaint yourself with the company, and that you do not make this decision lightly, my dear." Lady Galadriel said as she rose from her seat. I did the same, reluctantly letting go of the edges of my chair.

"So… I have a choice, then? I don't have to leave?" I asked hesitantly, my voice wavering slightly. She nodded, but turned away from me.

"I suppose that I am no counsellor," she said quietly, paraphrasing her own words from earlier, and I knew that she would no longer try to convince me to leave. I bit my lip, relief flooding through me. I said nothing in reply, but followed her out of the room. She bowed her head to me, and I knew then that I was excused. Bowing in return, I turned and made my way out of the chamber, feeling as if my heart was about to beat out of my chest.

How could I leave behind what I had come to know as my life on Middle Earth? Galadriel's words echoed in my head, making me dizzy. It was with great relief that I finally stepped through the doors and back into the cool night air. I walked away from the Hall, desperate for solitude. As soon as I had wandered far from the building, I crumpled against the trunk of the great tree and stared out into the darkness before me.

Unbidden, memories as my last time at the Mirror of Galadriel came rushing back. _"Should you wish to return home at the end of your quest, you may do so, and regain your human form."_ Irmo's words pushed their way to the front of my mind, and suddenly, all of the pieces of the puzzle seemed to fall into place. For months, I had been attempting to figure out the riddle, but now that everything suddenly made sense, I didn't want to understand. I didn't want to know the answer to my getting home anymore, not if it meant what I thought that it did. As hard as I tried to come up with another solution, any other possible way to solve the puzzle, I couldn't. My returning home now depended on my leaving everything that I had come to love behind. I needed to leave Lothlórien.

As soon as the realisation donned on me, I began to cry. I cried like I had not cried in a very long time, sobs wracking my body and tears streaming down my cheeks, burning my eyes. I cried until no more tears came, until my eyes were red and stinging. Only then did I suddenly remember something else.

"Crap," I said through a sob, rubbing my runny nose on my sleeve. I immediately stood up and took off across the platform, headed towards Haldir's quarters. I had forgotten about my archery lessons.

I had only been to Haldir's flet once, but I found it easily enough. Though it was only slightly larger than the other homes in the same area, what made it easy to find was the fact that it was at the very top of the circle. Sniffling, I knocked on the door and waited as I wiped away my tears, hoping that Haldir would be there to answer.

The door opened quickly and Haldir looked out, smiling when he noticed who it was. His smile instantly disappeared, however, when he noticed my red eyes and flushed cheeks. I sighed deeply, not even wishing to hide the fact that I was distraught. Haldir didn't say a word, but instead ushered me inside and sat me down at the table.

"Christa, what is wrong?" he asked me gently once he had offered me a blanket. I wrapped it around my shoulders and sank down into the chair, closing my eyes.

"I don't really want to talk about it," I said quietly, sniffling again. I heard Haldir pull his own chair over before he sat down beside me, pulling me into his arms.

"You don't have to talk about it if you do not wish to," he whispered into my hair, leaning in close.

My first instinct, surprisingly, was not to shy away from his embrace, but to lean into it. I knew that I would eventually have to tell Haldir that I was leaving, but I didn't feel ready to do that just yet. _Not tonight._

"I'm sorry that I missed practice," I said into his chest, my voice muffled by the blanket. Haldir laughed softly.

"Do not trouble yourself with matters so small. It is obvious to me that whatever is on your mind is much more important now."

I smiled sadly, wrapping my own arms around his waist. Was it right to behave like this, now that I knew that I would have to leave him behind? I knew that it wasn't, but I was too selfish to resist the warm feeling that accompanied Haldir's closeness. I felt his hand reach up to brush my hair, stroking the back of my head, and I melted into his embrace. I would tell him soon enough, but this evening I was going to push the guilt aside and accept Haldir's affection for me with open arms. That was all I wanted to do.

"I wish that I could tell you," I whispered, my voice barely making any sound in the silence of the room.

Haldir didn't respond, but continued to play with my hair. I was glad that he didn't answer me. I knew that he wanted to know what was bothering me so much, and I really did wish that I could tell him everything that was going on, but I knew that I was going to have to deal with this on my own.

 _Why do I even care about having to leave Haldir so much? You're going home anyways._ The thought struck me hard, and I realised that it was true. Why was I having such a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I was going to have to leave Lothlórien and Haldir, when that had been the plan all along? Had I been expecting some miracle that would enable me to jump back and forth between worlds? No, I hadn't been expecting anything like that. Now that I thought about it, I hadn't really given the whole returning-to-Earth thing a lot of thought at all, besides how and when I was going to be doing it. The thought made me sick, and I held Haldir tighter, never wanting to let go.

"Haldir… Can I stay?" I murmured after a long moment of silence. It was one of the boldest things I had ever asked of Haldir, and I pulled away from his chest to look up at him. He was smiling wistfully down at me and I couldn't help but smile slightly as well. "I'm really tired and-"

"Of course, Christa. I would worry less if you stayed close," Haldir replied, his eyes searching mine. I blushed at his words.

"Thank you," I whispered, my smile increasing as my fears of leaving melted away, having been forgotten.

We stayed seated at the table for a long while, intertwined. I drifted off once of twice as I listened to Haldir's steady heartbeat, breathing in his woodsy scent. I was woken up gently as Haldir straightened, and I whimpered as the warmth of his body pulled away. Haldir softly silenced me and soon I was being picked up from the chair. I sighed, content to once again be in his arms, and nestled into his chest. I heard Haldir chuckle softly as he carried me across the room.

The bed was cool, and I opened my eyes as I was laid down upon it. After pulling off my boots, Haldir quickly pulled the covers up to my chin and whispered that he was be right back. I was barely conscious enough to tell what exactly was going on, so I closed my eyes again.

Haldir's light footsteps woke me again several minutes later, and I opened my eyes to the soft red glow of the fire. Blinking several times, I remembered where I was, and smiled sleepily.

"It should warm up now, Christa," Haldir's voice made me open my eyes again and I saw him gazing down at me. I smiled up at him as my eyelids started to droop again, the warmth from the newly lit fire seeping into my bones. As I closed them, I felt Haldir lean down and plant a gentle kiss upon my forehead. It was something that I had almost grown used to, despite the fact that he had only done it a couple of times, but this time was different.

As he stood back up, I placed my hands behind his head and pulled it down again, weaving my fingers in his hair. I lifted my own head from the pillows and heard him gasp as my lips met his. I was woken up instantly by the shiver that went rippling down my spine.

Timidly, I held his head close, our noses brushing as time stood still. Split seconds seemed to drag on as I started to panic, hoping that I had not gone too far. But before I could pull away, mortified, I felt Haldir relax and lean into the kiss. I was almost too shocked to move, but quickly snapped back to the moment.

My fingers tangled in Haldir's silver hair as he kissed me back. I heard nothing but the drumming of my heartbeat, racing away in my chest, smelled nothing but the familiar forest scent of Haldir's clothes, tasted nothing but Haldir's lips. I sat up, eager to be closer to him as we kissed. My skin tingled as Haldir reached down, placing one of his hands at the back of my neck, and the other on my back.

A gentle moan escaped my lips, and instead of feeling embarrassed about it, I let it break the silence of the room. I was breathing heavily now, warmed by more than just the heat of the fireplace, and impulsively deepened the kiss. I could feel Haldir's breath tickling my nose now as his own heartbeat quickened.

All too soon, I felt Haldir pull away, our lips parting. I sighed, reluctantly letting go of the fistfuls of his hair before slumping back into the pillows. My breathing was ragged and I felt lightheaded, but it was not an unpleasant sensation. Almost afraid to see Haldir's expression, I kept my eyes closed and rolled over onto my side, trying to gather myself. My mind was numb, all of my focus on the kiss that I had just shared with Haldir.

The bed dipped slightly and I opened my eyes, my breathing halted.

"Christa," Haldir's voice made my heart flutter. _I just kissed him!_

I rolled over, tentatively, and looked across the pillows at the blond elf. My heart fluttered in relief as I saw that he was smiling coyly. His hair was disheveled, and I couldn't help but feel pleased that I had been successful in displacing an elf's hair. My eyes quickly traveled to Haldir's, and I felt my cheeks flush, stomach turning in excitement.

"Haldir," I replied, grinning shyly as I pulled the covers back up to my chin, not caring if he saw me blushing.

"Come here," he whispered to me, and I shuffled over with no hesitation or second thoughts. Nuzzling up against his chest, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Haldir wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. Elated, I lay there until I began to feel sleep creeping back into my body. My thoughts dimmed, and I smiled softly as I listened to Haldir's heartbeat.

"I love you," Haldir murmured, the warmth of his breath in my hair as I drifted off.

Still dressed in all of my clothes, I fell asleep in Haldir's embrace. My heart was warm as I replayed Haldir's confession over and over again in my head, my brain fuzzy with the memory of Haldir's lips. My thoughts were no longer, however, on leaving Haldir's love behind. I was too lost in the moment for my troubles, and needed no convincing to ignore them. They could wait.

* * *

 _EEEEEP! I know that A lot of you guys have been waiting for this to happen, and I am so excited to be able to say that it has finally happened! It was really hard to write, and I hope that you all enjoyed reading it!_

 _As always, I would love it if you could leave me a review and tell me what you thought! I love hearing from you guys, it makes me so happy! Thanks so much for reading!_

 _And don't forget to check out the tumblr page!_

 _-Eru_


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17:**

" _Be calm._

 _I know you feel like you are breaking down._

 _I know that it gets so hard sometimes._

 _Be calm."_

Fun., _Be Calm_

 _Haldir_

Christa's gentle snoring was the only sound that I could hear in the early morning stillness, and the only one that I wanted to hear. I lay with my head on my pillows, an arm draped lightly around her shoulders, watching as she slept soundly. She had not stirred since she had fallen asleep the night before, her face nuzzled deeply into my chest. Had she not have been snoring, I would have feared for her ability to breath, but as it was, I had not worried.

I smiled sadly, wondering just what had driven Christa to seek me out so late at night. It had not been surprising for me to see her so shaken, and that thought brought me great sorrow. Absent mindedly, I moved my arm up and began to play with her hair. It was apparent to me that she was going through an ordeal, and as much as I did not like being omitted from her troubles, I was willing to give her the privacy that she needed to figure them out herself. Had I not been so close to her, I would have been more persistent with her, but I knew her well enough to know that she preferred to keep her worries to herself. She would disclose her struggles to me when she felt ready to do so, and if that day never came, then I would honour that, albeit begrudgingly.

I paused in my thoughts as Christa stirred beneath my touch, the first time she had moved all night. To my relief, she did not fully wake. The dawn was only barely upon us, and I had no desire for Christa to wake so early. Settling back down into the pillows, she soon stilled and began to snore softly once again. I chuckled softly to myself, glad that I could now see her face, and shifted my own body slightly into a more comfortable position. Propping myself up on my elbow, I smiled, taking in her features.

I had never seen her like this before, relaxed and completely disconnected from the troubles of her mind, the goings on of the world around her. It was refreshing for me to see her this way, her mouth curled up ever so slightly at the corners, her eyelids closed lightly, dark eyelashes brushing against her cheeks. Her chestnut hair fell in waves over her forehead, somewhat messy from yesterday's events. Never before had I shared my bed with another, and despite the implications of wrongdoing that would surely be projected if anyone caught wind of our actions, I regretted nothing. There was nothing to regret, after all. We had done nothing wrong.

When Christa had asked if she could stay, there had not been a moment of hesitation in my mind, for before me had been a soul in need of gentle company. And that soul happened to have been a beautiful one that had caught my eye.

 _When did it happen?_ I really couldn't answer that question. I had asked myself countless times when my feelings for the strange girl from the forest had blossomed, and every time I had come up empty handed. How was one supposed to pin-point the exact moment in time that they realised they loved someone? I didn't know, and I was sure that it was not possible for me to do, but still I tried.

For weeks I had worried that Christa did not share the feelings that I had for her. I had begun to fear that my advances were going unnoticed, or that she was simply not interested in returning them. The _Enderi_ Feast had finally offered me a glimmer of hope. It had shocked me at first, how beautiful she had looked in her dress. She had behaved so casually that night, but the simple fact that she had allowed me to escort her had given me great joy. Whether it had been the wine or her own heart talking, she had enjoyed herself thoroughly, I knew. I had longed to voice my feelings for her during our time dancing together, but my courage had failed. _Perhaps it was for the better._

The fire had been reduced to embers by the time dawn arrived. The day's first light wafted in through the windows, and I smiled as Christa stirred, the rays shining on her face.

 _Christa_

" _Give me love like never before,_

 _'Cause lately I've been craving more,_

 _And it's been a while but I still feel the same,_

 _Maybe I should let you go"_

-Ed Sheeran, _Give Me Love_

I woke rather abruptly as the sun shone on my face, warm in contrast to the slight chilliness of the room. Reaching for one of my pillows, I groaned and pulled it over my face, blocking out the light. I wasn't ready to wake up yet. I felt light-headed and I could tell that my eyes were still rather puffy from crying the night before. I sighed deeply, wanting nothing more than to sleep and ignore all of the problems that I knew I would be forced to deal with sooner rather than later.

"Good morning, Christa."

My breathing hitched and my troubles were all momentarily forgotten as I remembered where I was. Removing the pillow from my face, I battled the brightness and tilted my head up to meet Haldir's gaze. He smiled at me and I felt my cheeks go pink.

"I'm probably a mess," I laughed as I reached up to rub the sleep from my eyes.

"I think you look beautiful," Haldir replied, reaching over to cup my face with his hand, running his thumb along my cheek. I smiled and tried to hide the fact that my heart was shattering into a million pieces. I saw it in his eyes in that moment, the worry that he was trying to hide from me. I knew that he could tell that there was something wrong, and I wished with all of my heart that I could tell him everything. But I knew that I couldn't do that.

How long would I have to play this game? I had been reckless, I knew that. I had shoved my problems aside, blatantly opening my heart up to Haldir. I had known last night that what I was doing was wrong, but I had done it anyways. And now I was going to have to deal with the consequences. But how long did I have to clean up the mess that I had made? I stared into Haldir's eyes as we silently searched each other's souls, and knew that I couldn't do it now.

"Haldir, I… I should be going," I said, breaking the silence as I slowly moved to sit up on the bed. Haldir sat up too and wrapped his arms around me. We sat there on the bed for a few moments, neither one of us willing to break the embrace. Countless emotions clashed inside of me, but I held them in. When Haldir finally broke the embrace, I offered him a smile. He smiled back, and even though it looked genuine, I knew that it wasn't.

Rising from the bed, I pulled on my boots before running my fingers through my hair. Haldir stood also, and watched me silently as I pulled on my cloak over top of yesterday's clothes. I paused, offering him another smile.

"Thank you," I said softly, trying to supress the lump that I could feel rising in my throat.

"There is no need to thank me," Haldir replied, his eyes offering a hint of brightness. I felt my heart flutter momentarily, glad to see this small hint of happiness. Unable to stand the distance between us, I stepped forward and wrapped him in another hug.

"You put up with so much. I'm thankful to have you," I whispered, fighting back the tears. Now was not the time for them. I felt Haldir take a deep breath before he spoke up.

"And I am thankful to have you, Christa," he replied. I wondered what he thought of my behaviour, and I tightened my grip around his waist. "Whenever you need me, I will be there for you."

Fearful that either one of us could break at any moment, I pulled away from the embrace. With one last smile, I quietly left the flet. As I swallowed my tears, I hoped that I didn't look as broken as I felt.

* * *

A hot bath helped to melt away my sorrows, and by the time the water had cooled down and I was forced to climb out, I felt much better. Though I hadn't needed it, I had spent a long while scrubbing myself down. It had felt therapeutic, almost symbolic, as if I was ridding myself of everything that was troubling me.

After wrapping myself in a warm towel, I grabbed my hairbrush and curled up on the bed to comb through my hair. It had been months before I even arrived in Middle Earth since I had last had my hair trimmed, and I was starting to notice an increasing number of split ends. As I pulled my brush through my hair, I couldn't believe just how long it had gotten. I never grown my hair past my shoulder blades, but now it was nearly down to my waist. The length of my chestnut tresses reminded me of how long I had been here every time I saw them, and the thought brought a rush of emotions along with it.

Unwilling to be subject to my emotions again so soon after calming down, I set my brush down and set to work pulling my hair back to cover my ears. As my fingers brushed the pointed tips, I wondered if I would be able to get through to the end without revealing that I was not really a human anymore. _What a strange thought._ Though they still kind of freaked me out, I had become quite fond of them. _I'm not going to have them forever, might as well enjoy the elven aesthetic while I can._ That, too, was a weird thought. The thought that someday not too far away, I would be waking up back on Earth, leaving Middle Earth and all of its characters behind.

"That's enough deep thinking for now," I breathed as I rolled off of my bed, satisfied with my hair. Pulling on a simple grey tunic and a pair of breeches, I decided that it had been too long since I had visited Hérion and Faenelin. I quickly laced on my boots and grabbed my cloak, before heading to the stables.

The barn was quiet, with only a couple of elves doing chores as I passed through the aisle. A couple of them smiled at me as I walked past. The familiar smells of hay and horse masked all of my worries, and my steps felt lighter. _Yes, this is what I needed._

The horses had been turned out for the day, so I left the barn with Faenelin's lead to fetch her from her pasture.

"Good morning, Christa," Hérion greeted me as I crested the shallow hill along the pastures. I lifted my hand in greeting, smiling warmly.

"To you too, Hérion. You don't mind if I take Fae for a ride, do you?" I asked, pausing to whistle to the mare, who was grazing at the far end of the pasture. At the sound, she raised her head, ears pricked, before trotting across the field towards the gate. Hérion shook his head.

"Of course not, you know that you do not need to ask," he replied with a chuckle.

Unlatching the gate and entering the field, I laughed shortly, "I know, I just like asking I guess."

Faenelin pulled up in front of me and snorted, shoving her muzzle against my chest. Laughing as I stumbled, I scolded her gently before tying the lead to her halter.

"You seem happy to see me," I cooed, scratching her forehead. The grey mare snorted again.

"Enjoy your ride, Christa. I must be getting back to work," Hérion said, glancing back towards the stables.

"See you later," I replied as I combed a small knot out of Fae's mane with my fingers. Once I had worked that out, I glanced over the rest of her. Surprised that the mare was, for once, pretty clean, I decided that she didn't need a brush. Leading her through the gate and back over to the fence, I tied the end of the lead to the other side of her halter and used the fence boards to spring lightly onto the old mare's back.

"Let's just take it easy today, mellon. It's been a while since I've ridden bareback," I whispered to Faenelin in English, grabbing the lead rope, as well as a chunk of her silver mane. The mare flicked an ear in my direction at the unfamiliar language, and I couldn't help but laugh. "You're smart, you'll figure out what I mean." With a nudge against her sides, we set off at a leisurely trot down the path towards the woods.

"I should probably get used to speaking English again," I said out loud as I did my best to post to Fae's smooth trot. "Well, the Common Tongue, I guess. Fae, do I have an accent?"

The mare stretched out her neck and snorted, shaking her head slightly. I laughed at her response, clutching her mane so as not to get dragged off over her neck.

The mare was the only one I was really able to talk with in the Common Tongue, and I knew that it would probably be best if I got used to considering it my main language again. After speaking nothing but Sindarin for so many months, it had embedded itself in my mind as my first language, even though it definitely wasn't. There was still so much about the language that I didn't know, but I had pretty much nailed the pronunciation aspect, and as such, had developed a hint of an accent. The realisation made me proud, and I smiled.

"So, you don't know English then, Fae. Comprends-tu le français, mon amie?" I asked her jokingly. The mare exhaled dramatically, and I couldn't help but laugh at the coincidence of her timing.

* * *

The rest of the week passed by uneventfully, and I spent most of my time at the stables with Faenelin. The atmosphere and being alone with the grey mare were probably the only things keeping me sane. I also made an effort each day to practice my archery, making sure to maintain the skills that I had already obtained.

At night, however, I would lie awake, my mind a turmoil of everything that I was going to have to take care of soon. Too soon. I had no idea how I was going to tell Haldir that I had to leave him behind. How could I make him understand that I needed to go? That it was the only way that I was going to be able to get back home, where I belonged? I couldn't. It wasn't possible, not without explaining everything. I was starting to worry that I wasn't going to be able to tell him, but the idea of leaving Haldir with no explanation made me sick to my stomach every time it crossed my mind.

And on top of those worries was the fear of leaving the safety of Caras Galadhon. I had grown so accustomed to the city, and couldn't imagine life outside of it's walls. I hadn't seen any part of Middle Earth except Lothlórien, and I knew that no matter what I had seen in the movies or read in the books, nothing could prepare me for the shock of being exposed to the elements of the wild. I knew that I was going to have to find someone to practice my self-defence with, be it Haldir or one of the other members of the Fellowship, but I really didn't want to approach anyone about it. Before, it had been a precautionary measure, just in case, but now, I knew that fighting wasn't going to be optional any more. I knew well enough that we were going to run into our fair share of danger.

I hadn't seen the Fellowship at all since our first meeting, and I really wanted to get myself acquainted with them. Galadriel had suggested that I get to know them, and on top of that, I wanted to spend time with them. I would have done it days ago, but every time I contemplated going down to visit, I chickened out. Maybe it was the fact that I associated them with having to leave Haldir, or maybe it was just because I was shy, but it had to be done.

"It won't be so scary once you get to know them better," I said to myself as I pulled on my boots one morning. With one last peek at myself in the mirror to make sure that my hair was in place, I started off out the door.

I found the Fellowship in the same spot outside of their pavilion. With their backs to me, the group was watching Merry and Pippin as they practiced their sword skills with Aragorn. As I approached, the two young hobbits stopped their swings and turned to face me.

"Miss Christa!" Pippin's face lit up, and he dropped his tiny sword to rush over to me. Merry did the same, following after his friend. I laughed as their curly heads bobbed towards me.

"Pippin, Merry," I said with a grin, acknowledging each as they reached me and took my hands in theirs to lead me back towards where the others were sitting.

"We were worried that you wouldn't come to visit us again," Merry said, looking up at me.

"Why wouldn't I have come back?" I replied, smiling more than I had all week at the sight of the cheery hobbits.

"Perhaps we were too overwhelming?" Pippin said, concerned as he glanced up at me.

"Never," I replied with a chuckle, looking up to acknowledge the others. "Good morning," I smiled as Merry and Pippin dragged me over towards the campfire.

"Lady Christa," Aragorn was the first to greet me as I was ushered towards an empty seat. Merry and Pippin sat themselves down on either side of me.

"Please, just Christa is fine," I said with a smile, my nerves gone in the company of the two hobbits seated beside me.

"Do you always dress like this?" Pippin spoke up again, and I turned to him, curious as to what he meant. "I mean, do you ever wear dresses? I've never seen a woman dress like you are now."

"Pippin!" Merry exclaimed, leaning in front of me to scold his friend. I laughed, raising a hand slightly to calm him.

"It's quite all right! It's a perfectly acceptable question," I grinned, before turning back to Pippin. "I am used to dressing in this manner, though I do also wear dresses. I find them quite cumbersome, and I can't imagine ever wearing one to ride in or with my quiver. I think that would look quite silly."

"You have skill with a bow, then?" Aragorn asked me, interested at my mention of archery. I nodded.

"Haldir taught me," I replied, trying not to chuckle as I heard Gimli grumble under his breath. "And I already knew how to ride before I arrived in Lothlórien," I added.

"It is not uncommon for the ellith of Mirkwood to be practiced in these arts," Legolas spoke up then, and I shifted my gaze to look at him. "It is almost strange to me that the none of the Galadhrim are female, since there are several ellith in our guard in Mirkwood."

"I never really gave it much thought, but you are right. The women here seem content managing the domestic side of things."

"That is how it is with most cultures," Aragorn offered. "It is the same in Rivendell, yet the choice is offered should any choose to take the path of warrior instead of handmaiden."

"Us hobbits have no cause for fighting," Sam piped up. "'Least we didn't, 'til we went running off on this quest." I smiled as I caught his gaze, noticing that the stout hobbit had only lifted his chin to speak, before looking back down again at his hands. I knew what the cause for his concern was, and I wished that I could help him. _You've got your own problems to worry about._ I swallowed, pushing out the reminder and turning my attention back to the Fellowship.

"Dwarf-women are cherished and are therefore guarded within our mountains," Gimli supplied. I was about to ask why, when I noticed Boromir open his mouth to speak.

"There are no female warriors in Gondor," Boromir spoke up for the first time since my arrival. My gaze turned to him, hesitantly, curious as to what he had to say on the topic. "War has ever been the province of men, and I believe that it should remain so. Women serve their cities in other important ways, and would only be a burden on the battlefield."

I didn't know what to say in response to his statement, and bit my tongue. I supposed that I was lucky that I had woken up in an elven domain, as opposed to a human one. Middle Earth was far from achieving gender-equality, and I needed to remember that. The lord of Gondor wasn't being intentionally rude, but as much as I reminded myself of that fact, it still angered me to hear him say that when I was in his company.

"Is Frodo around today?" I said after a moment of silence, looking around. I had noticed that he hadn't been there the moment that I had set foot in the clearing, but now I just needed an excuse to change the topic.

"He's gone off again," Sam said, fiddling with a button on his coat.

"He'll be back soon, Sam. Don't you worry," Aragorn said quietly to the Halfling.

"That's too bad, I was looking forward to meeting him," I said. As much as I was anticipating meeting the young hobbit, a large part of me was relieved that he wasn't around. I wanted to avoid the Ring at all costs, especially if I was going to be traveling in its presence in a couple of weeks' time. I shuddered at the thought. I would delay my exposure to it for as long as I could.

I stayed a bit longer with the Fellowship, talking about all sorts of unimportant things. What I really wished to discuss was their venture so far, but I knew that that was most certainly off limits for now. As much as I wished to learn all about the Ring Wraiths and Gandalf's fight with the Balrog, it would definitely be a long time before I would be able to question them about their journey. It would be a sensitive topic to address, seeing as no one except Galadriel knew of my knowledge of the Ring and of the Fellowship's quest to destroy it.

 _How am I supposed to tell them that I will be leaving with them?_ My thoughts about their quest begged the question, and I definitely didn't have an answer for it yet. Was I even supposed to tell them? Or would Galadriel simply inform them?

As the hour drew to a close, I decided that it was time for me to take my leave. Standing up from the log, I stretched out, stiff from sitting on the hard surface for such a prolonged period of time.

"I'm afraid that I must be going," I said to the group as I straightened out.

"It was nice having you here, Christa," Aragorn said with a smile, and I nodded my thanks.

"Aye, it is nice to have a fresh face around," Gimli added, and my grin widened at his words.

"I'm glad that my visits are not seen as annoying," I laughed.

"I shall have to put your skills to the test soon, Legolas said, and I raised an eyebrow at his statement, before understanding what he meant.

"Of course! I would love the challenge, though I am sure that I am no match for you," I replied, knowing that he would definitely best me, but who would I have been to pass up the opportunity to have an archery contest with the Prince of Mirkwood?

At the thought, I suddenly remembered that I was supposed to be meeting Haldir today for practice. The thought made my chest tighten, and I quickly took a deep breath the steady myself.

"Actually, I just realised that I am going to be late to practice," I said quickly. "I will see you all again soon. Tell Frodo that I am anxious to meet him."

"Certainly," Aragorn nodded his farewell, as did Legolas. The hobbits grinned and waved as I turned and headed back quickly towards the stairs.

I was going to be late. Sighing, I started up the long climb, taking the stairs two at a time. There was no sense in dilly-dallying and making myself even more tardy than I needed to be. I didn't stop to do anything at my flet, except to grab my bow and quiver from the corner of my room. As soon as I had slung them over my shoulder, I was out the door again, making my way down the stairs. I was in such a hurry that I didn't notice the amused looks that I was getting from the elves as I passed by, too eager to make it to the range and see Haldir.

 _Is that the right word? Eager?_ The butterflies in my stomach said that I was nervous, and my heart fluttering in my chest indicated that I was looking forward to seeing Haldir, but there was also a nervous knot inside of me, warning me to be careful. I was going to get hurt either way, I knew it, but what made me think twice whenever the memory of our kiss popped into my mind was the fact that I was going to hurt Haldir. Nevertheless, I continued on, my breathing heavy by the time I reached the range.

Haldir was standing in the usual spot, stringing his bow. I slowed to a jog as I neared him, only now becoming tentative to approach. I knew that he already knew that I was there. No matter how light I had become on my feet, there was no hiding the sound of my breathing. Or my heartbeat, for that matter.

"Sorry I'm late," I said quietly as I stopped beside him, pulling my bow from my shoulder to string it.

"I was worried that you had forgotten," Haldir said, turning to face me, a soft smile on his lips. I paused in my efforts to string my bow with trembling hands, my heart fluttering in my chest at the sound of his voice. _What's wrong with you? Get a grip._

"I would never forget twice in a row," I lied, chuckling nervously as I looked up at him. Haldir nodded slowly at my terrible lie, smiling.

"I have missed you," he said quietly, reaching up to lay a hand on my shoulder lightly. A shiver ran down my spine at the simple touch. Not too long ago, such a gesture would have gone unnoticed, a simple act of friendship. Now, however, it made my cheeks grow warm and I looked down at my bow, blushing.

"I'm sorry I've been so busy," I said, not sure what else to say, watching as my fingers traced with the wood grain. I hadn't really been busy at all, of course. I had been keeping to myself. _Avoiding you._

For once, Haldir was oblivious to my false words, and we got down to business at once. It struck me as odd, that even after all that had changed between us, Haldir could still instantaneously switch back to his old self. A Marchwarden, my instructor. For that, I was relieved. I could focus all of my attention on my shooting, instead of worrying about my feelings.

To my relief, I hadn't lost any of the skills that I had learned. I hadn't improved, either, but that didn't matter to me. As long as I was still able to hit the middle of the target at least half of the time, I was pleased. We focused our time on working on my quickness, an aspect that I still hadn't been able to improve much through my own practice. By the end of the lesson, I was drawing much faster, and despite losing some of the accuracy that I was able to achieve with time, I was shooting at a pace that Haldir was happy with.

"From now on, I want you to practice at that pace," Haldir said to me as I plucked my arrows from the target at the end of the afternoon. I nodded my head as I pulled the last arrow from the tree and returned it to my quiver. "In time, your accuracy will improve."

I huffed. "At this point, I feel like the extra second or two is more beneficial that quickly releasing and hoping for the best."

"In a life or death situation, ever second you take to fire is a second that could cost you your life," Haldir replied bluntly. I shuddered, knowing that he was right.

"I guess," I mumbled, loosening the string on my bow before slinging it over my shoulder. We started off across the range, back towards the city centre.

"If you are hungry, we can go for dinner," Haldir said as we reached the edge of the clearing. I turned to face him.

"You really understand me," I said with a chuckle. "I am quite hungry."

"Excellent," Haldir replied with a smile.

A few steps later, my stomach growled and I just grinned, knowing full well that Haldir had heard it as well. It was amazing how a little fresh air could clear away all of my problems, even if it was only for a little while.

* * *

 _First off, I would like to say sorry for how long it took me to update this! I have been drowning in homework ever since the second semester of my university started at the beginning of the month. I thought that I would have more time for writing, but with getting used to my new classes, on top of my bad time-management skills, I have been pretty strapped for time. Hopefully things start getting better this week (I have sworn to not procrastinate anymore, but we'll see how that goes!)_

 _This was not really a monumental chapter by any means, but I hope that you all enjoyed it anyways! Please leave a review and let me know how you are liking the story! We're almost to the big day, guys! I'm getting so pumped, and I'm itching to get Christa out with the Fellowship, but I don't want to rush this important part of Christa and Haldir's relationship._

 _Thanks for reading, guys! I will do my best to update again soon._

 _Also, I really encourage you all to check out the tumblr that I made for this story and give it a follow! For now, there's not much going on, but when the Fellowship leaves, I will be posting location updates, skill updates, quotes, etc. Waking-dreams-fanfic .tumblr .com is the link! If you have any suggestions for the tumblr blog, I will gladly take them too!_

 _-Eru_


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18:**

The dining hall was busier than normal, and we actually had to wait in a short line before we were able to get our supper. We had no trouble finding a table despite the populated area, since Rúmil and Orophin were already seated and waiting for us to join them. Orophin pulled out a seat for me as we neared, and I smiled my thanks as I sat my plate down before sitting down beside him. I slung my quiver and bow across the back of my chair as Haldir sat down on my other side, nodding to both of his brothers in greeting.

"You have all been back for quite a while now. When do you head back to the borders?" I asked no one in particular, after a few minutes of small talk. I was genuinely curious as to why the three brothers had been able to spend so much time back in Caras Galadhon. It had briefly been a worry to me that Haldir would be returning before I was to leave with the Fellowship, but I remembered distinctly that Haldir had been present to escort the company to the Silverlode.

"Orophin and I are to return tomorrow, actually, for three weeks," Rúmil answered first, after swallowing the food that he had in his mouth. My heart sank at his words, realising that I wouldn't get a chance to tell them about my leaving. _I won't get to say goodbye._ "You will miss me," Rúmil added, noticing my expression.

I quickly worked to cover up my frown. "Of course, I will miss you both," I replied with a half-hearted smile.

"I'm afraid that I, too, have been asked to return to the border," Haldir spoke up then, and my heart stopped.

"When?" I asked, a little bit too quickly for my own comfort.

"Two days from now," Haldir replied, the corners of his lips lifting in a masked smile at my clear disappointment. I blushed as I searched for the words to was no way that I was leaving without telling Haldir, it just couldn't happen that way. My thoughts swirled and I thought for a brief moment that I might pass out, right there at the table, but thankfully the sensation passed.

"She will miss you more, brother," Orophin said, cheekily, and Rúmil laughed at his brother's comment. I was too worried about what I was going to do to react to his playful remark, and watched without seeing as Haldir raised an eyebrow at his younger brothers.

"When will you be back?" I asked quietly, clinging desperately to some small hope that he would be back before I would have to leave, and that my memory of the books had not failed me.

"I will only be gone for 10 days. The Lady Galadriel has insisted that I return to escort our guests from the city," Haldir answered me with a reassuring smile, and I instantly felt my mind clear. My shoulders sagged, and I found myself able to smile genuinely at his reply.

"That's good," I said, trying not to make my relief too obvious. "I always get bored without anyone to spend time with." My response made Haldir smile wider, and I noticed Rúmil grinning also. Satisfied that they all saw my worry as nothing more than affection for Haldir, I turned back to my supper and finished it quietly

Despite my brief high, I was soon back down to where I had been a few moments ago. Nothing had changed, except now I really had to decided what I was going to do, and now the timeframe that I had to tell Haldir that I was leaving had narrowed significantly.

"When exactly will the Fellowship be leaving?" I asked, breaking the peaceful silence that had followed my earlier words. Haldir looked up from his own food and raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"The 16th was the date that I was given," he answered me. "Why?"

"Oh, I was just curious," I lied with a smile. Haldir's eyebrow rose higher and he tilted his head, not satisfied with my reasoning. Trying not to panic, I figured now was a good a time as any to tell him that I had gotten acquainted with them.

"Well, I've gotten to know them, actually. I was just wondering when they would be leaving." My last words were hard to say, as I couldn't help but picture myself leaving the Goldenwood in their company, leaving Haldir behind.

To my surprised, Haldir didn't seem shocked to hear that I had done the opposite of what he had told me to do. I offered him a sheepish smile and shrugged as he looked at me.

"I cannot say that I am surprised. You are far too curious, Christa," Haldir said, a hint of a smile on his lips.

"I can't argue with that, Haldir," I replied with a smile, relieved that he was not mad at me. It was weird, actually. He had seemed so adamant that I leave the Fellowship alone, but then again, perhaps he had known from that moment that I would not listen to him. Either way, it didn't matter.

"They are a fascinating ensemble. I can't say as I blame you, mellon," Rúmil said to me then, and turned to meet his gaze. "Two men, an elf, four hobbits, and a… dwarf," he mused. A could hear the distaste on his tongue as he spoke the last word, and I resisted the urge to chuckle. I didn't need to get into the discussion of elves and dwarves right now.

"They are on an errand of secrecy," Orophin said, "and the fact that the Lady Galadriel has given them leave to stay in our city gives me reason to believe that it must be an errand of great importance."

"Have you not felt the darkness that they have brought with them?" Haldir spoke up, and I turned back to him, surprised at the dark tone he had taken on so suddenly. Rúmil and Orophin met their older brother's gaze with silence, waiting for an explanation.

"I have not noticed anything out of the ordinary," I offered, wondering if this was really an appropriate topic for dinner table discussion. If Haldir had anything to say in response that my input, he didn't voice it. Instead, he continued to survey his brothers.

"One of the halflings carries great evil with him," he said carefully, and I watched as Rúmil and Orophin worked out Haldir's words in their heads. "Word has reached my ears that they travel to Mordor," he added, voice barely a whisper.

"Mordor?" Orophin repeated incredulously, being careful to whisper. Haldir nodded, and I watched as the realisation sank into both of the younger elves' eyes.

"The Ring of Power has been found, then?" Rúmil said, eyes narrowed. "This is ill news."

"It is my belief that they go to destroy it," Haldir supplied then, and I raised my eyebrows, pretending to also seem concerned at the news.

"That is no small task," Orophin said, doubtfully. "They seem an odd company for such a quest."

"I would have to agree with you, brother. But they come from Imladris, which means that this quest is of Lord Elrond's doing, and I am in no position to question his decisions."

"Lord Elrond would not sanction such a venture unless there were no other options," Rúmil said, brows creased.

"What other options could there have been? Destroying it is the only solution, and only a fool would be so bold as to offer up their life to complete such a task."

"Brave fools," I said, feeling left out of the conversation. Haldir nodded.

"I do not hold much hope for them," he said, pursing his lips. Rúmil and Orophin nodded in sombre agreement.

The rest of dinner passed silently, the thought of the fate of the Ring of Power weighing heavy on everyone's mind. Well, everyone except mine. I had my own worries to think about. I had lost my appetite, thanks to the less than cheerful conversation, and had taken to pushing around what remained of my pashed potatoes with my fork. From just a quick glance around the table, it was obvious that no one was really in the mood for chit chat anymore, and I decided that I was finished with my supper.

"There's always hope," I offered with a small smile as I placed my utensils across my plate. Pushing my seat out, I stood up and slung my quiver and bow over my shoulder before collecting my dishes. "I'd best be going. I have a few personal things to attend to this evening." I didn't really have anything planned, but I wanted some alone time, and I knew that none of the men would question such an excuse.

The three brothers looked pensive as I stood up, and Haldir met my gaze. "Perhaps you are right to have hope. Have a good night, Christa," he said, a smile growing as he looked up at me.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Haldir," I said, smiling back. "Safe travels, Rúmil, Orophin." I said, turning my gaze to the younger brothers. The two silver heads nodded in thanks, hesitant smiles upon their normally jovial faces. It hit me than that this would be the last time that I saw them, and I suddenly felt frozen in place. I didn't want to leave without a proper good bye, but what could I say without giving it away?

 _Nothing._ Swallowing, I looked at their faces one last time, before nodding quickly in farewell, and turning on my heels to leave. Tears pricked in the corners of my eyes, but I did not let them fall. I couldn't cry, not yet.

Dropping my dishes off, I made my way quickly from the crowded dinner hall and climbed the stairs to my flet, my breathing ragged from my emotions. The silver lanterns twinkled in my watery vision, and unbidden a tear rolled down my cheek. Sniffling in frustration, I dashed up the rest of the stairs and walked as quickly as I could to my flet.

Closing the door behind me quietly with the last remaining bit of my self control, I discarded my things and sank down onto my bed. I stared up at the ceiling as the lanterns turned on, illuminating the room in a soft blue glow as I let myself go. Clutching one of my pillows to my chest, I sobbed into it, too tired to hold back my emotions any longer.

After a few moments of quiet crying, my hands clenched into fists and I punched the bed angrily, mad at myself for crying again.

"I don't understand!" I wailed, not caring if anyone in any of the nearby flets could hear me. "How is this supposed to be making me any happier?"

Why did Irmo have to come along into my life and turn it upside down? I had never wished for any of this to be real, and yet here I was, literally living a dream. A dream that I had been trapped in far too long. The problem wasn't getting home anymore. I knew that I could do that, if I could just make it to the end of the story. The problem was that I wasn't sure if I wanted to go home at all. In my head, I knew that I needed to, but my heart was begging me to stay.

"It's too confusing," I sobbed, crumpling back down into the sheets, closing my eyes and hugging the pillow tight again. I knew that I had to go home, but I didn't want to leave my friends. _I don't want to leave Haldir…_

" _All will be right in the end, dear child,"_ Galadriel's voice soothed. I was not alarmed by the intrusion into my most personal thoughts, and for once, not annoyed by her persistent reassurances. _"Go to sleep."_

As if bidden by the voice in my head, my body relaxed and I loosened my death grip on the pillow, my head sinking in to one of the many others that were scattered about my bed. Eyelids drooping, I took a deep breath to steady my breathing, sobbing gently as I closed my eyes. I drifted off to sleep, my mind soothed by the invisible presence of the Lady of Light.

* * *

I woke in the morning to the sound of the breeze rustling the mallorn leaves against my window. Rolling over, I knocked several of my pillows off the bed as I stretched. The bed sheets were wadded up on the other side of the bed, where I had thrown them the morning before. Rubbing my eyes, I remembered the strange experience the night before, and was thankful that it hadn't been a very cold night. Pulling myself out of bed, I groggily dressed in my running pants and cotton undershirt before pulling my hair into a ponytail.

Fresh air proved to be just the thing that I needed to bring me back to life. My feet padded lightly along the gravel path, my breathing measured as I jogged my way around the city. Watching as my breath clouded and whipped past my face, I smiled, truly understanding for once why some people enjoyed getting up early to exercise.

The city was quiet, with most of the elves still resting or minding to their own matters inside of their flets. The shops at ground level were deserted, and the only elves that I noticed during my first loops around were a couple of younger elves training with their swords at the range. I stopped to watch there for a few moments, intrigued by their dance. I had seen very little combat during my stay in Caras Galadhon, and suspected that sword training usually happened somewhere farther from the city centre. _You'll be seeing plenty of it soon enough._

I continued on after a couple of minutes, having caught my breath. As I jogged away from the range, I decided to turn off onto one of the paths that I had only used a couple of times. I generally stuck to the main paths, only opting the run on the others when I ran during the busier times of day, but I felt like a change of scenery would do me well.

The trees shimmered in the early morning sunlight, golden leaves dancing in the breeze. Breathing in the fresh scent of the forest that I had grown so fond of, I felt perfectly at ease. It had always struck me as odd just how quiet Lothlórien was. I had seen very few animals in the woods, save for the songbirds that populated the branches, and the occasional squirrel as it scampered along the forest floor. As I listened now, however, I realised just how lively the Goldenwood actually was. The wind sang through the grey branches of the mallorn trees, and even the dew drops as they rolled off of the leaves seemed like music to my ears. I could not see it, but I thought that I heard a woodpecker knocking on a nearby tree trunk as I jogged past.

I was so lost as I listened to the sounds of the forest waking up, that I didn't notice that I was no longer alone. I ran into the back of the person before me, gasping as my breathing hitched and I slammed to a halt. _For Pete's sake, not again._

I looked up as the figure turned around to see who had assaulted him. To my surprise, my eyes met those of Rúmil, and I let out a breath of relief.

"Rúmil," I said with a sheepish smile, glad that I had not embarrassed myself in front of a total stranger once again. "Sorry about that, I was not paying attention," I chuckled, panting as I tried to steady my breath.

"Good morning, Christa," Rúmil laughed, and I realised that he was probably on his way to leave for the border.

"I won't keep you if you are in a hurry," I said quickly between breaths, not wanting him to feel obligated to apologize.

"Actually, I am quite happy to see you," he said, sobering up. Though his smile remained, I furrowed my brows, sensing that he had something important to tell me. "You are leaving," he said simply, eyes never leaving mine. I stared back, dumbfounded.

"What?" How could he have guessed? Was I that obvious?

"You will be leaving with the Fellowship," he said with a sad smile as I dropped my eyes, unable to hold his gaze as I tried to figure out what to say.

"Rúmil, I.."

"I have said nothing to Haldir," Rúmil said, laying a hand on my shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"How did you know?" I asked quietly, suddenly feeling very ashamed that I had not told him.

"I suspected it yesterday at dinner. You were not yourself, and then when you heard that we would be returning to the borders, I saw it in your eyes that you were deeply troubled. Do not feel guilty, Christa," he said, placing a hand on my cheek and tilting my chin up gently so that I was looking at him once again. Leaning in, he touched his forehead to my own, and I closed my eyes briefly, worried that my emotions would win over again.

"I'm going to miss you so much," I murmured, sniffling as his silver hair tickled my nose. "You were the first person who made me feel welcome here, even though you didn't speak my language," I said with a smile as I opened my eyes, remembering the day I had first spoken with him. Rúmil chuckled as he held my gaze.

"I'm glad that I was able to be a friend to you, Christa," he said, and I felt myself begin to break down as his smile melted away my fears.

"Tell Orophin that I will miss him greatly, as well," I said, my voice breaking as I fought back a sob. Rúmil pulled away and nodded.

"Tell Haldir," he said, his hand falling back to my shoulder. "Before he leaves."

I took a deep breath, knowing that Rúmil knew better than I did what would make it easiest for Haldir. Nodding my head slowly, I silently promised that I would tell him.

Moving his hand to the back of my head, Rúmil leaned in again and kissed the top of my head softly, lingering for a moment before straightening.

"Be safe, Christa," he said softly as he took a step backwards.

Fighting back the tears, I nodded again. "You too, Rúmil."

He smiled broadly then, his eyes holding the sadness that I knew he was doing his best to hide. "You never did learn to pronounce it correctly."

"Pronounce what?" I said, choking back my tears.

"My name," he said with a soft chuckle. I couldn't help but smile then, vowing that if I ever did get the chance to see my friend again, I would be able to say his name correctly.

Our final goodbye was silent. No more words were needed, and I was thankful for that. If I had needed to speak again, I knew that my walls would shatter and I would break down, and I didn't want Rúmil to see me like that. We placed our hands over our hearts simultaneously, bowing our heads.

I did not look up until I was sure that Rúmil had left, the sound of his footsteps vanishing into the forest. Only then did the tears come, silently rolling down my cheeks.

I turned around a while later, wiping the tears from my face gently so that I wouldn't get puffy eyes. Sniffling to stop my nose from running, I started off slowly back towards the city centre, in no rush to leave the solitude that I had found.

* * *

I stared at my shadow in the grass, watching as the seconds ticked by and my silhouette stretched farther and farther across the clearing. It was late afternoon, and the range was all but deserted, which I found somewhat odd. It was normally fairly busy, especially at this time of the day, but today there were only a couple of other elves there. My eyes wandered from my shadow to watch them practice as I strung my bow, fingers working methodically after so much practice.

"Good afternoon, Lady Christa," Legolas' voice interrupted my absent thoughts and I turned to face him with a warm smile.

"Legolas," I nodded in welcome as I finished with my bow.

"Are you ready for our contest?" he said, taking his already strung bow from his shoulder. He met my eyes with a smile, one eyebrow raised. A challenge. I laughed.

"No, I've never done this before. A contest, I mean."

"I would have hoped that you had done this before," he said with a chuckle, lifting his bow and gesturing to the range and the targets at the other side of the clearing. I chuckled nervously and followed Legolas across the range.

"Shall we start here?" he asked me as we came to a stop. _Oh, right. It's not natural for a human to be able to see that far._ We were much closer to the targets than I normally practiced, but I wasn't about to argue about that. I knew I wasn't going to be able to come anywhere close to the skills of the Woodland prince, but I was definitely not going to give up any chance that I had to do as good as I possibly could.

"Sure, sounds good," I replied, surveying the target.

"The first to miss their target is the loser," Legolas explained with a friendly smirk. If it had been Haldir, I would have rolled my eyes, but I didn't want to seem rude to my new friend, so instead I just ignored it. "Ten paces backwards after each arrow."

"Shall I go first?" I asked, drawing an arrow from my quiver and nocking it. Legolas nodded and I exhaled before taking a deep breath.

Raising my bow, I looked down the shaft of the arrow, taking my time. This was not practice, and I could take as long as I wished to take my shot, because Haldir wasn't here to tell me otherwise. It didn't take me long before I was sure of my aim, and let my arrow fly. It landed with a satisfying thud at the centre of the target, and I couldn't help but grin.

"You have a good eye," Legolas said as he quickly drew an arrow and took aim. The arrow was flying a split second later, and hit the target dead centre. _No surprise there._

"Thank you," I said as we each took ten steps back. Bidding my hands to stop trembling from the thrill of hitting the bulls-eye, I drew my second arrow and stared at the target. As soon as my fingers had stilled, I loosened them and watched with glee as my arrow again hit the middle centre of the target.

It continued in much the same manner for a while, and with each shot, I found myself able to relax and just enjoy the game. After five or six rounds, I was no longer worried about making a good impression on the elf. At about seventy paces backwards, I started to struggle.

Willing myself to take my time, I focused all of my attention on the tiny red dot at the far end of the range. The distance was farther away than I was used to practicing at, and the last two shots had just narrowly missed straying from the target. I took several slow, deep breaths before I even raised my bow, taking care to run through everything that Haldir had taught me. It seemed like an age had passed before I finally felt confident with my shot, and let my arrow fly.

I let out the breath that I had been holding as I watched my arrow catch the out ring of the target, and couldn't help but laugh in relief.

"I'm not out yet," I chuckled, knowing that I wasn't going to last much longer.

"No, it would seem you are not," he agreed as he took his shot. I couldn't resist being amazed as his arrow hit dead centre of the target again.

"Do you ever miss?" I asked, grinning as we stepped backwards again, counting out our paces.

"Of course," he replied. "But not often," he added. I laughed, cheeks hurting from smiling.

"So humble," I said sarcastically as I lined up my next shot. Unsurprisingly, my preparation was in vain and the arrow went sailing past the wooden target and into the trees.

"Damn!" I said, dropping my bow into the grass and puffing my cheeks in a childish display of disappointment. "You still have to take your shot," I said to the elf, who was watching me with an amused smirk.

Legolas nodded before quickly nocking an arrow. A split second later, it was embedded in the target's innermost ring.

"At least you missed the bulls-eye," I pointed out, and Legolas chuckled, giving me a pat on the back.

"I must admit that you have a very keen eye," he said, looking down at me curiously. I shrugged and offered him a smile. "Haldir has taught you well."

"Yes, he definitely has. I couldn't even hold a bow correctly three months ago," I laughed, watching as Legolas' eye's widened in surprise.

"It only took you three months to learn?"

 _Oops._ Again, I gave a small shrug. "Like I said, Haldir was an excellent instructor. And I practiced nearly every day."

"For a mortal to have such a level of skill is extraordinary," he said. "I was surprised enough that you made it as far as you did, but learning in three months is quite… baffling."

 _If you knew that I wasn't exactly a mortal anymore, you probably wouldn't be so impressed._ I knew that the elves in Lothlórien learned the art faster than I had, but I still took Legolas' words as a compliment.

"Thank you," I said after a moment, trying not to look too proud. "I'm still quite slow, I spent more time practicing my aim than my quickness."

"Perhaps that is why," Legolas said with a smile and a nod. His gaze then shifted and I watched his eyes as they followed something over my shoulder.

I turned as Haldir approached us, smiling curiously as he took in our strung bows. I waved as he neared, and the gestured dramatically to the area where I was standing.

"You missed," Haldir said with a smirk, not even letting me rub it in for a moment that I had hit that target at a record distance.

"Not the last time," I huffed, tempted to cross my arms. "I've never hit it from that far before."

"She did quite remarkably," Legolas supplied, nodding his head in greeting as the Marchwarden stopped in front of us.

"I was watching," Haldir said, smile widening then. He laid a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. "Good job, Christa."

"Thanks," I grinned before turning to Legolas. "I really enjoyed that, Legolas. I had a lot of fun."

"As did I. If you ever wish for a companion for practicing, do not hesitate to ask me," the prince replied. Slinging his bow over his shoulder, he nodded his farewell to both me and Haldir before wandering off to retrieve his arrows.

"I see you are fairly well acquainted with Legolas," Haldir said to me once Legolas was a good distance away. Cocking an eyebrow, I looked up at him.

"I wouldn't say that. I've only known him for two weeks," I said with a chuckle. "He challenged me to a contest when I told him that I knew how to shoot."

"You held up very well," Haldir said, praising me again, squeezing my shoulders in congratulations. At the touch, my mood shifted, and my eyes dropped. Sensing that something was amiss, Haldir leaned in closer and loosened his grip on my shoulders. "Is everything all right, Christa?"

I hesitated, staring straight forward at his grey tunic. After a brief moment, I slowly shook my head, lifting my gaze back up to meet his. It was now or never. If I didn't tell Haldir about my situation today, there was a good chance that I wouldn't be able to tell him until the very day that I was going to have to leave him, and I didn't want to have to do that. _I can't hold all of this inside of me anymore._

"Haldir, there's something that I need to tell you."

* * *

 _Yay! Another update!_

 _I never intended on leaving you guys with a cliff-hanger, but I couple of the scenes in this chapter were thought-up as I wrote and I couldn't help but include them! The scene with Rúmil is actually so far one of my favourites that I've written for this story, and I hope that you guys like it as much as I do!_

 _As always, let me know what you guys think! I didn't get all that many reviews for the last chapter, so I hope that I have no lost any of you because of the hiatus that I took over the Holidays!_

 _I will try to update again soon! Thanks for reading, I hope that you enjoyed it._

 _-Eru_


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19:**

" _Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in_

 _Take a bow, play the part of a lonely lonely heart_

 _Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in"_

MIKA, _Any Other World_

Haldir's eyes never left mine as I took a deep breath. I saw him swallow, brow furrowing in concern as he searched my eyes. The words were out, and now I had to explain myself. Even so, I was tempted to lie my way around the truth.

"What is it, Christa?" Haldir's voice was low, and though he maintained a strong composure, I could tell that he was nervous about what I had to say. Fiddling nervously with my thumbs, I stared into his eyes, willing myself to speak. _Tell him. You have to tell him._

"I… I don't know how to say this without hurting you," I started as my hands began to tremble.

"Say what you must, please," Haldir replied, reaching out to grab hold of my hands, messaging my palms gently.

"Lady Galadriel, she… I've spoken with Lady Galadriel," I started, my voice shaky as I struggled to piece my words together in an understandable sentence. How was I supposed to even explain what was going on? I hadn't given it much thought, I had been too afraid to even think about what I was going to tell Haldir. Haldir gave a slow nod of encouragement, eyes still melting into mine.

"She has suggested that I depart with the Fellowship," I finally spat out, my eyes immediately dropping so that I would not have to watch as Haldir's face fell. I didn't need to see his face to know that he was confused and hurt. He tensed, his hands briefly clutching mine tighter before loosening again, though his fingers had stilled.

"Why?"

I had expected this question, but still I did not know how to respond. I shook my head, still to ashamed to look him in the eye. "I wish that I could tell you, Haldir."

My friend said nothing, and I did not offer anymore of an explanation. What else could I have said? I couldn't tell him why I was being asked to leave. Not only would Haldir not understand, but it was crossing over the line and I knew that no matter what, I couldn't tell anyone how I had gotten here.

After several long moments of silence, I dared to lift my gaze. Haldir's face was unreadable, shadowed as the sun began to set behind the trees, but his eyes were reflecting the last of the light and I could tell that he was struggling to understand what I had told him. I gave his hand a squeeze, pained by the empty expression on his face.

"And you will go," he said simply, avoiding my gaze though I was desperately willing him to meet my eyes. I nodded, biting my lip.

"I must."

The moments ticked by, and with each one my despair grew, gnawing at my heart. Haldir was gazing at the ground beyond my shoulder, his eyes unreadable. I had not seen him like this even when I had first met him. Though he wore an almost identical expression, this was not the strict, hard Marchwarden who had escorted me to see the Lord and Lady of Caras Galadhon. This was not the archery instructor with high expectations and a low tolerance for improper technique. This was not the battle-hardened warrior that I knew he was. This was Haldir, torn apart by words that had come from my own lips.

I opened my mouth to speak, to apologize, to somehow fill his eyes with joy once again, but before I could say anything, Haldir had leaned in and was kissing me. One of his hands held my head, and the other was placed on my upper back, gently holding me tightly against him as his lips met mine. Surprised, I gasped before quickly melting into his embrace, my eyes closing as we kissed.

This kiss was different than our first. The kiss in my flet, though just as impulsive, had been slow and timid. Now, as Haldir tasted my lips and I breathed in his, I knew that this was a far more desperate, a last-ditch effort to persuade me to stay. I felt my heart ache despite the pleasant shiver that ran down my spine. My fingers clutched at the fabric of his cloak, never wanting to let him go, and his fingers ran through my hair, holding me close.

Just as suddenly as it had begun, Haldir drew away, leaving me gasping for breath. I met Haldir's eyes for a brief moment as I opened mine, and before either one of us could say anything, he bowed his head and turned. He left me standing in the growing twilight, and I didn't try to go after him.

He left the next morning without saying goodbye. As much as it hurt, I wasn't at all angry with him. We both knew that we would be seeing each other again soon, and as far as I was concerned, we both needed some time alone to process what had happened the day before.

Faenelin proved a strong shoulder to cry on, and I welcomed her soft nudges and gentle snuffles of concern. No words could comfort me now. I just needed to get over one more bump in the road now, and then I could be on my way home. Though I knew that this way of thinking was skewed, I took comfort in the idea of seeing my parents again. Soon, I would wake up in a hospital bed feeling who knows how crappy. I would be able to see the looks on my parents' faces when they saw me open my eyes. _And I will never see Haldir again._

As much as I anticipated returning home, my joy at the prospect of going back had been clouded by the idea of leaving my friend behind. _Friend._ Was that even the correct term anymore?

"Of course it is," I whispered angrily into Faenelin's mane. "We were never anything more than that." We had kissed, that was all. Despite the feeling that there had been more between us than simple friendship, Lady Galadriel's words echoed in my mind whenever I thought about it. _"You do not love Haldir, though you wish that you could have."_ Her words still made me angry, but who was I to argue with Galadriel? She was the one who possessed the power of foresight, after all. I didn't matter how much I tried to reason with myself, however. I was upset and there was no avoiding it.

Pulling my face from Faenelin's warm neck, I gave her a pat of gratitude before wiping my face. The stables were dark, with only a single lantern at the end of the aisle lighting the large space. I had spent the whole day at the stables, grooming and talking to the old mare. I hadn't broken down until Hérion had departed, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I wasn't sure how long I had been crying, but judging by the fact that it was past dusk, it had been way longer than I had anticipated.

Leaving a gentle kiss on Faenelin's nose, I crept from the stables, doing my best not to wake the horses who had already drifted off to sleep. Once the doors had closed behind me with a gentle groan, I started off quickly back towards my flet.

The forest was quiet, but thankfully I had travelled the path enough times to not be afraid of the eerie silence. I could already see the lights of the city up ahead, twinkling in the deep blue of the night. It was funny to think about the fears that I had brought with me to Caras Galadhon. My fear of heights had been conquered, and despite the fact that I would still rather be on solid ground that in a tree, I no longer feared falling as much. Dark forests had never been a problem in Lothlórien, for some reason. Perhaps it was simply because of the magic that protected the city, or because I had grown used to being out at night.

 _The rest of Middle Earth isn't safe, you know._ I shuddered as I thought about the adventure that I was going to be diving headfirst into. In just two weeks' time, I would be leaving the safety of the elven forest behind. _And you get bet your ass there's going to be lots of dark forests out there._

Hurrying along now, I walked with long strides, making short work of the rest of the trip back to my flet. I slowed once I reached the stairs, taking one step at a time with heavy feet. I had not felt so tired in a long while, and welcomed the peaceful darkness of my flet. Closing the door behind me, I lit the fire and sat down in the chair in the corner of the room.

I had not slept well the night before, and now I was feeling it. Eyeing my bed, I sighed, sinking deeper into the chair as I debated whether or not I actually wanted to go to bed. As exhausted as I was, I knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep, not with all of the thoughts inside of my head.

With that thought, I reached over the armrest and pulled open the drawer in the table beside me. Taking out several sheets of parchment, a bottle of ink, and a quill, I pulled myself from the chair and wandered over to the table by the window. Wiping the thin layer of dust from the wooden surface, I laid my things down and pulled out one of the chairs for myself. The other chair on the opposite side of the table glared at me, unoccupied, as I thought about how long it had been since I had sat here. I hadn't used the table since Haldir and I had wrapped up my Sindarin lessons.

Biting my lip, I picked up the quill and dipped it into the bottle of ink, tapping it lightly on the edge of the bottle absentmindedly as I pondered what I should write. I knew that I needed to get all of my thoughts out of my head, and writing them down seemed like the best solution.

Pulling the quill from the bottle, I wrote the first words that came to mind, deciding that it would just be best to say whatever I was thinking. I wrote without stopping to read my own words, only pausing to dip the quill into the ink bottle. When I was done, I set the quill down and stared at the parchment, gaze unfocused as tears tickled my cheeks. Sniffling, I carefully folded the parchment after making sure that the ink was dry. Picking up the quill again, I dipped it into the bottle one more time, my hand hovering over the paper briefly, before I wrote one last word in shaky handwriting.

"Haldir," I murmured, reading it aloud as I picked up the folded parchment. An apology letter to Haldir, because I was too cowardly to say how I truly felt to his face.

Tucking the letter under a book so that it wouldn't get misplaced, I stood from the table and made my way over to my bed. After undressing, I crawled under the covers and closed my eyes, hoping that sleep would find me quickly.

Over the next couple of days, I found myself able to breath a little easier. My mind felt clearer, and even if it was only a slight change, I welcomed it. I opened the letter several times, adding onto it and taking away from it as best as I could. I did not want to leave out any of my thoughts. I wanted to make sure that Haldir knew everything that was going on in my head, every emotion that I was battling. Several times I caught myself scribbling about home, about my family and about how I hoped that everything would work out all right in the end. These writings were promptly crumpled up and thrown into the fire as soon as I came to realise what I was doing. As much as it pained me, I would never be able to tell Haldir about why I had to leave him.

I had also been doing my best to spend as much time as I could with the Fellowship. I had finally been introduced to Frodo, and had been relieved to find that the ring hadn't been a bother at all. I wondered if it perhaps had something to do with the fact that I was turning into an elf, or if maybe it was just because the ring had been hidden. I wasn't sure if that was really a factor or not, but I wasn't concerned about it, since it hadn't tempted me anyways. He was a kind and quiet hobbit, and I I hadn't figured out how I was going to break the news that I would be travelling with them. Honestly, I was hoping that the Lord and Lady would inform them so that I wouldn't have to.

I was leaving my flet one morning when I noticed Legolas' familiar form walking down the stairs. Curious as to what the elven prince was doing around here, I picked up a jog and crossed the platform lightly.

"Legolas! Good morning," I said as he turned at the sound of my footsteps, smiling as he noticed who I was.

"Good morning, Christa," he replied, halting momentarily so that I could fall into step beside him before we continued down the stairs.

"If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing up here?" I asked, glancing at him as we walked. Legolas laughed, and I looked at him again, the corners of my mouth curled into a curious smile.

"I have been spending my nights in a flet much like your own," he answered smoothly.

"Oh. You haven't been staying with the rest of the Fellowship?" I asked, my brows raised slightly at his response. Legolas shook his head.

"Nay, I prefer the company of my kindred," he said. "Long has it been since I last shared word with my people. The company of hobbits, men and dwarves has proven interesting, yet to speak in my own tongue after so many weeks is a delight. How long have you spoken Sindarin? I did not know that you knew the language, though I suppose there are not many in Lorien who speak the Common Tongue. You speak it well."

I smiled, bowing my head in humble thanks. "Thank you. Haldir began teaching me to speak it several months ago, after I asked. I suppose when you have no choice but to speak a new language, you are inclined to learn it rather quickly," I chuckled. "I have not had a chance to speak in the Common Tongue for many months, so it feels quite strange, to say the least. Sindarin seems more natural for me now."

Legolas smiled warmly. "You seem to have earned the favour of the Marchwarden, you speak of him as a close friend. Forgive me if I pry; your tale intrigues me, for you live so comfortably among a people that are not your own."

I blushed at his comment, tilting my head away slightly in hopes of hiding the colour that had risen to my cheeks. I chose not to comment on my friendship with Haldir, and my smile faded as quickly as it had appeared as I chastised myself for allowing my feelings to show. "I don't mind; I can understand why you would be so curious. Lothlórien is not my home, as I recall telling you when we first met, yet I have grown very fond of it."

"I have been here less than a month and already I feel at home beneath the branches of the Mallorn trees," Legolas said, glancing up at the golden canopy above us. "Though I am elf-kind, and I already have a love of trees that runs deep," he added, lowering his gaze again, a soft smile on his lips.

We descended the rest of the stairs in silence, our footsteps quiet until we stepped onto the crisp morning grass, the thin covering of frost crinkling beneath our feet. Legolas had taken a right at the bottom of the stairs and was headed for the Fellowship's pavilion, so I decided to tag along, knowing that if they had any important business to attend to, Legolas would let me know.

 _You've got some urgent business of your own that you need to take care of._ I bit my bottom lip as I followed Legolas. With just over a week until we were to depart, I was starting to wonder if I was ever going to be able to tell them.

"Legolas," I said suddenly, reaching out to lay a hand on his upper arm. He stopped and I quickly removed my hand, regretting my actions. I gaped slightly as he turned to look at me, eyebrow raised curiously.

I had never been a very impulsive person. Every single one of my actions was well thought-out and all of the possible scenarios were weighed in my head beforehand. Middle Earth had changed me in that sense, and I didn't like it one bit. Now I stood in front of Legolas, my mind reeling as I realised that now was my chance. Split seconds felt like hours as I hoped that time wasn't actually moving as slowly as I thought it was.

"I have a problem," I finally said, rubbing my wrist nervously. "And I was hoping that you could help me."

Legolas' forehead creased at my words, and I hoped that he didn't mind that I was asking for his help. I had only known him for a couple of weeks, and I didn't want him to feel like I was taking advantage of him, but I was going to need to ask this favour of him.

"Of course. I will do what I can," he replied wholeheartedly. I smiled slightly in relief, before pursing my lips again nervously. "But you must tell me what it is that you need help with," he added, the corners of his mouth lifting in a small smile.

 _There's something that I need to tell you. Tell the Fellowship… I'm not sure how I'm going to tell the Fellowship this, and I'm asking for your help… I've been thinking about what to say to you all and I haven't been able to bring myself to do it…_ Words ran through my head as I fiddled with my fingers.

"It has been suggested that I leave Lothlórien with the Fellowship," I finally squeaked out bluntly. When Legolas said nothing in response, I raised my eyes to his, fearing the worst. The reaction that I was most afraid of seeing on his face was amused disbelief. As much as I had doubted myself, the last thing that I wanted was to be doubted by my comrades.

I was relieved to see that Legolas was straight-faced when I lifted my gaze. In my book, that was better than a smirk, or a concerned smile.

"The Lady Galadriel has suggested this to you?" he asked, almost incredulously. I nodded my head, still somewhat in disbelief that I had managed to get the words out.

"It was not a decision that I made lightly," I said quickly, shifting my gaze back down to my feet. "I have spent many hours practicing my skills with a bow, and have also learned some hand-to-hand skill. I do not want to leave Caras Galadhon. I am afraid, for I know that the quest you have embarked upon is by no means safe."

"You know of our quest?"

I looked up as Legolas interrupted my spiel. "Yes."

"Then you know that this quest will most certainly cost you your life."

 _Whoa. Way to put it gently._ I nodded my head again, holding his gaze. I was scared shitless, I will not lie. This was single-handedly one of the most intimidating moments of my life. Legolas had seen me shoot and had even told me that he was pretty impressed, but I knew that I had more to prove now than the fact that I could hit a stationary target in a field, and I willed myself not to drop his gaze.

"I know."

"You wish for me to offer you support when you tell my companions," Legolas said after a short silence, a small smile playing on his lips.

"If it not any trouble," I replied with a sheepish smile of my own. Legolas surveyed me for a moment, his expression thoughtful, before nodding.

"All right. If this is indeed the will of the Lady, then I have no right to argue. I will see to it that the rest of the Fellowship accepts your offer."

I could have hugged him, but instead I opted to simply breath a huge sigh of relief. I still had to tell the rest of the Fellowship, but the fact that Legolas knew and supported my decision was enough to give me the boost that I knew I was going to need.

"Thank you," I said, realising that my legs had turned to jelly. Shaking off my nerves the best that I can, I lifted my chin, turning to look past the elf at the white pavilion across the lawn.

"Do not fret. They cannot turn down your request so long as they know that it is Galadriel's wish," Legolas said as we turned and continued on our way towards the campsite. I swallowed, knowing that he was right.

"I'm not afraid of being denied the right to accompany you all. I'm simply worried of being ridiculed," I said quietly, feeling the colour rise to my cheeks. Legolas gave me a quick pat on the shoulder before we emerged from the trees.

On the other side of the lawn, we were greeted by Aragorn, who gave us each a friendly nod of welcome. The hobbits, for once, were nowhere to be found, and I assumed they were still sleeping. Gimli gave a nod as well, and Boromir lifted his pipe as Legolas and I each took a seat around the fire.

None of us were particularly talkative, as per usual, and I was okay with that. Despite the fact that the suspense was making me nervous, I was going over what exactly I was going to say to them. I wanted to sound as confident as possible when I made the announcement. The last thing that I wanted to come across as was unsure of my decision, for this was surely not a choice that was to be made lightly.

As the fire crackled and I watched the embers flicker from red to orange, I heard the flaps of the tent ruffle and looked over to see Merry emerge.

"Miss Christa," the hobbit grinned drowsily as he let the tent flap fall behind him.

"Good morning," I smiled in reply as the other three halflings followed behind him, each yawning and stretching. They each took a seat around the fire, Merry and Pippin on either side of me. Sam has been waved back towards a seat at Aragorn's insistence, who offered to make breakfast.

As the smell of eggs and ham wafted through the small campsite, I glanced towards Legolas, who met my gaze with a reassuring smile. I swallowed the knot that had risen in my throat and continued to stare into the fire as I tried to convince myself that now was the time.

"Now that everyone is awake, I have something important that I would like to share with you all," I said suddenly, breaking the peaceful silence that had settled upon the camp. Heads turned my way and I cleared my throat nervously before smiling awkwardly. I saw Legolas nod encouragingly out of the corner of my eyes and gathered up the courage to speak.

"I am to travel with you all when you depart Lothlórien."

My announcement was met with raised eyebrows and surprised stares. I shifted uncomfortably on the log, waiting for one of them to speak up.

"You will be joining the Fellowship?"

I was surprised to hear Gimli speak up first, and I nodded as confidently as I could. "It is the recommendation of the Lady Galadriel," I explained, hoping that he wouldn't need anymore convincing. The dwarf gave a nod.

"Are you sure that you are adequately prepared for such a venture?" Boromir was the next to speak up, and I turned to him and met his gaze, for the first time actually feeling confident in myself.

"I believe that I am. I have trained hard during my time with the elves," I replied with a firm nod.

"I take it then, that you have a certain degree of understanding as to what this quest entitles," Aragorn questioned me, speaking up for the first time in a while. He had appeared to have been lost in his own thoughts for the better part of the morning.

"The Lady has told me all that I need to know," I lied. I already knew everything that I needed to know, and then some, and Galadriel had known that. She didn't need to fill me in on anything.

"I know that this quest in dangerous, you do not need to remind me," I added, knowing that someone was bound to mention the very obvious fact that I might not make it out alive.

"I can vouch for Christa's abilities," Legolas said seriously after I had finished talking. I turned to him and smiled my thanks before he continued. "She has some skill with a bow. I do not know her well, though I feel that she has just as much cause to join us on this quest as the rest of us."

Legolas' words were met with silence, and I turned my eyes back to the fire again. After a few moments, Pippin piped up.

"Miss Christa will be coming with us?" he said, clearly surprised at the news. I looked up at Aragorn, knowing that he was acting as the leader of the company.

"Very well," he said after a short pause. "Though I cannot stress enough that this will be no easy journey." I smiled in relief and nodded in understanding.

"I promise that I will not be a burden," I said, hoping that I would be able to stay true to my word.

At Aragorn's words, Merry and Pippin both grabbed a hold of my arms and squeezed them excitedly. I couldn't help but smile and laugh lightly at their glee. I smiled determinedly across the fire at Aragorn, who gave me a tired smile of his own.

"Welcome to the Fellowship, Christa."

 _So it's finally official, Christa's now a member of the Fellowship of the Ring. This next chapter is going to be a huge one, I'm so excited to get to work on it that I'm actually going to start right away! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter, please let me know what you thought of it. If I've gotten any new readers, or if you haven't left a review in a while please leave me one, even just a short one, and tell me what you think! I'll answer every review, so long as you have an account and have your PMs enabled! I LOVE hearing from my readers._

 _Sorry for the wait for this chapter! Since I'm currently on a study break from University, I thought that I would have loads of time for writing but instead I've just gotten tied-up in doing other things! The next chapter will be up as soon as I can finish it._

Also, don't forget to check out the **Tumblr at Waking-Dreams-Fanfic**!

 _-Eru_


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20:**

 _"We're falling apart and coming together again and again_

 _We're growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again_

 _Don't let me go_

 _Don't let me go"_

The Fray _, Never Say Never_

I couldn't believe it. For weeks, I had tried to come to terms with the idea of leaving Lothlórien, but now that I was officially a member of the Fellowship, I was having a hard time wrapping my head around it. Me, your average girl, joining the Fellowship on their quest to save Middle Earth from the Dark Lord Sauron.

 _Except you're far from average,_ I reminded myself. No, it wasn't everyday that you got dragged into a different dimension, not to mention to fact that I wasn't entirely mortal anymore. And besides, I would have been perfectly happy to stay behind in Caras Galadhon, where it was safe and comfortable. It just so happened that the only way that I was going to be getting home was if I embarked on this quest.

I pulled myself up into a sitting position on my bed and stared out the window pensively. It had been a whole week since I had informed the Fellowship of my decision, and two days since Haldir had told me he was due to return. I hadn't been worried when he had failed to pay me a visit the day before, but now as the sun dropped below the trees, I was worried.

I knew that he had taken a pretty hard blow when I had told him that I would be leaving him, but a part of me was angry that he was opting to avoid me. Ordinarily, I would have been content to give him some distance and time to think about it, but Haldir had already had plenty of both of those things while he had been on patrol at the border. I saw no reason why he shouldn't have been seeking me out today. But alas, he hadn't.

 _Two days from now, I will be walking out of this flet for the last time._ The thought made me nauseous, and I quickly shifted my thoughts back to Haldir. The change didn't particularly help calm my stomach, but leaving was the last thing that I wanted to think about right now.

What if he didn't even come to say goodbye? What if he showed up to escort the Fellowship to the river and that was it? Or worse, what if he completely bailed on being our escort? I gave my head a firm shake at this thought, positive that that was something that Haldir would never do. He was no coward. He would show up at some point to say goodbye, even if it was brief.

I tried not to let my worries bother me as I fell back into bed. I hadn't gotten much accomplished today, besides a visit to the stables. Faenelin had been on my mind for the better part of the week as well. Saying goodbye to the silver mare was going to be difficult as well, but at least I could rest easy knowing that she would be in good hands. Though she wouldn't understand where I had gone or why I had stopped paying her visits, she wouldn't take it the wrong way. She would miss me, but I knew that she was not capable to being angry with me for leaving.

Was Haldir angry with me? I really didn't know anymore. I had figured at first that I had just hurt him. I still knew that I had definitely hurt him, but now that he was ignoring me, I was starting to worry that I had made him mad. Letting out a tense sigh as the room darkened, I closed my eyes and willed myself to get some rest.

* * *

I awoke the next morning to a gentle knock on my door. Immediately, I jumped up from the bed and pulled yesterday's clothes, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. I took a deep breath to calm myself as I smoothed my slightly wrinkled tunic, telling myself not to get too excited. There was no telling how Haldir would react when I opened that door. After quickly fixing my hair, I walked over to the door and pulled it open. My heart dropped.

"Oh, good morning, Raina," I said, the excitement wiped from my face. Slowly, the smile dropped from Raina's face as well, and I instantly felt awful.

"Is something the matter, Christa?" Raina asked me before I could explain myself. I sighed.

"I'm sorry, that was incredibly rude of me. It's just that I was expecting someone else," I replied guiltily, putting an apologetic smile on my face. Raina nodded her head in understanding, and I gestured for her to enter.

"Haldir has not been to see you?" she said once I had shut the door behind us. I shook my head, half in frustration and half in sadness.

"No. I've hurt him quite badly, I fear."

"I take it that he was quite distraught to learn that you will be leaving Caras Galadhon," Raina asked, and I looked at her in surprise. "The Lady Galadriel informed me a few days ago," she supplied. I bit my lip.

"I should have told you sooner, Raina. I'm sorry," I said, once again feeling like I had not treated her with the respect that she deserved.

"There is no need for apologies, Christa. I know how much pressure you have been under lately," she replied with a soft smile. "On the topic of your venture, I have brought you these," she continued, holding out a rather large bundle the was wrapped in a dark grey linen. I took it from her in surprise.

"I hope that you like them," she added as I placed the bundle on my bed and untied to cord that was holding it together. Unfolding the linen, I revealed a bundle of clothes. Pulling the first item out, I held it up to look at it. The soft grey suede fell and I found myself holding what appeared to be a tunic of sorts. The sleeveless garment had a slight bluish hue that changed in different lighting, and was embroidered with silver threat on the bodice. It had laces running up the front, made of silk. I laid it down on my bed and pulled out the rest of the items, laying them flat on my bed.

"I had everything made specially for you. They should fit you rather well," she said as I admired the pair of breeches that I had just unfolded. They too were a shade of grey, though slightly darker than the tunic, and where made of soft suede for grip.

The last thing in the bundle was a pair of dark grey leather boots, with laces running up the inside of the calf. They were already supple and soft between my fingers. Laying them out on the bed alongside the rest of the garments, I looked over at Raina appreciatively. "I love them," I said with a large smile.

"I'm glad to hear it," she replied with a smile of her own. "Tomorrow morning before you leave, I will be bringing you a few more things that I think you will be glad to have with you," she added as I handed her the piece of linen and the cord. I nodded, grasping her forearm lightly in farewell before she excused herself from my flet.

Turning back to the items that covered my bed, I pursed my lips as I tried to figure out in my mind what was what and how I was supposed to wear it all. There were the obvious necessities, several pairs of undergarments and socks, both thick and thin for whatever weather we would be encountering on our journey south. Then there was what appeared to be a plain white short-sleeved undershirt made of cotton. Next I assumed would be the silver-blue shirt. It was made of silk, with suede of a slightly lighter colour running along the arms. It also had some silver thread work on the front near the buttons. Over that I assumed would go the long tunic that I had unfolded first.

The breeches were self-explanatory, as were the boots. There were a couple of other items that had me slightly baffled, and I picked them up to examine them. One was obviously a corset of sorts, but I was unsure if it was supposed to go under my clothes or over them. Running my fingers along the lather, I admired the detail that had been put into it. It was a supple leather, but not as soft and slightly thicker than the boots. This was meant to be armor of sorts. I decided that it wasn't meant to be hidden completely, and that I would wear it between the silk shirt and the outer tunic.

The next items were a set, made from the same dark leather as the corset. It didn't take me long to figure out that they were bracers for my forearms, and I quickly fastened them over top of my tunic to try them on. They fit like a glove, and I took a moment to admire the patterns that were sewn onto the leather. None of my other clothes had ever had this much detail put into them. I wondered how much these garments had cost to make, and I marveled at the fact that they were mine to keep.

The leather straps they I picked up next was by far the most confusing item. I did finally figure out that it was meant to be a holster of sort for my quiver, more secure than the one I used now. It had a belt that was buckled around my waist, as well as one that wrapped over my left shoulder and a small strap that fastened under my left arm.

The final item was a simple glove, with the fingers cut off halfway. It was fitted for neither of my hands specifically, but I knew that I would want to wear it on my right hand to prevent me from getting sores from the bowstring.

Once I had figured out what everything was, I folded it all back up as neatly as I could and placed it on the table. Tomorrow when I woke, I would be dressing in those clothes. The thought both excited me and scared me at the same time. As I stepped back from the table, my eyes shifted to the stack of letters that sat beside the clothes, and I sighed. I was going to have to go and find Haldir for myself.

I planned to bathe quickly, but I found myself taking twice as long to do everything in an effort to procrastinate. I was being stubborn, that was the truth. I didn't want to give Haldir the satisfaction of going out of my way to hunt him down. Then again, he was probably thinking in the same mindset as me, as stubborn as he was. When I did finally finish up in the bath, I wrapped myself up in a towel and took a seat at the vanity to brush my hair.

What was I going to say to Haldir anyways? I had said everything that needed to be said. _Well, everything that you_ can _say._ There was so much to say that I was too afraid to tell him. _It's all in the letters._ I just had to keep reminding myself that everything Haldir could know was written down on those pieces of parchment.

My finger brushed against the tip of my ear as I started a braid, and I smiled. It was still a strange feeling, and yet somehow I had gotten used to them. They seemed natural now, but not like they were mine. It was a difficult feeling to describe, almost as though I was used to seeing them and feeling them there, but that I didn't feel like they belonged to me. I finished off the braids quickly and stood up, only to be startled back into sitting down by a knock on the door. This time, my heart raced and there was no controlling it.

"One minute!" I called as I hurried to get dressed. Opting for a dress simply due to time, I pulled one on and tied it up before hurrying to the door. Turning around before I reached the door, I quickly grabbed the letters and hid them beneath the stack of clothes. My hands trembled as grasped the door handle, and I took a deep breath to calm myself before pulling it open. Just as I had suspected, Haldir was standing outside of my door. I smiled, unsure as to what to expect from him emotionally.

"Haldir, I'm so glad to see you," I said wholeheartedly. I was relieved to see him offer me a sad smile as I ushered him through the door. I turned to face him after I closed the door, looking up at him.

"I must apologize for my behaviour," he said, the smile disappearing from his lips. His brow creased and his eyes melted into mine. I felt my own smile fade and I grasped his hands in my own.

"You don't need to apologize," I replied, giving his hands a squeeze. "Really. I understand how much I must have hurt you. Just know that that was the last thing that I ever wanted to do, hurt you, I mean." My voice grew weak as it began to tremble.

"I know that this has been bothering you for some time. It was never my intention to make you feel guilty for your decision, but I failed," Haldir explained quickly, losing his composure slightly. I gripped his hands tighter, not wanting to see him fall apart. "It is hard for me to see why you must leave, but I realise that there is a larger problem here that I cannot be privy to. In the end, I wish only for you to be happy, and if this is what you must do to find your happiness, then I would not hold you back."

I swallowed the lump that was rising in my throat and held back the tears that I felt pricking my eyes. "I am sorry, Haldir. I wish that I could stay. I want nothing more than to stay here, but I must leave." _That's not true, and you know it. You want to go home, more than anything. That's why you have to leave._ _You haven't found happiness yet._ That's what I had to keep reminding myself. If I was truly happy, the Valar would have returned and offered me the choice to return home. Right?

"I know," he replied with a hint of a smile. I reflected the expression before letting go of his hands. "I brought you a gift."

I watched in curiosity as he reached over his shoulder and removed his bow, holding it out to me. I quickly shook my head, my lips parted in disbelief. "Haldir, I can't."

"Please, Christa. I want you to have it," Haldir held it out to me again, insisting. Hesitantly, I reached out to grasp it lightly, still not entirely wanting him to let it go.

"Haldir, I have my own bow," I said in an attempt to persuade him to keep it. He smiled and chuckled softly before letting go of the bow.

"Your bow was never meant for combat. This one has already been put through many tests, and has weathered them with ease. I can acquire another bow easily; I want you to have this one."

After holding his gaze for a few moments, I could tell that he really did want nothing more than for me to take it with me. I held the bow up and looked at it closely, my fingers tracing the golden designs that adorned it. It was longer than my bow, and it would take some getting used to, but I felt honoured to just be holding it. Looking back up at Haldir, I smiled.

"Okay," I said finally, clutching the bow gently. Haldir nodded, and I could see the sadness in his eyes. On impulse, I reached up and wrapped both of my arms around Haldir's neck, careful not to hit him with the bow. Pressing my cheek into his chest, I squeezed him tightly and took a deep breath before I let go and stepped back with a smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning," Haldir said after a moment, smiling despite the sadness in his eyes.

"See you," I replied with a sad smile of my own, watching as he turned and left, closing the door silently behind him.

I did not linger in my flet for long. I had too many things to do to waste my time brooding over what tomorrow would bring. Soon after Haldir had left, I decided that it was time to head down to the stables to say my goodbyes to the horses.

The air was crisp as I made my way along the path to the stables, watching as my breath formed clouds in front of me. The air was still, with barely a whisper from the breeze in the trees. I soon arrived at the stables and ventured inside, walking along the cobblestone aisle until I came to Faenelin's stall.

Hearing my footsteps, the grey mare poked her head out over her stall door and let out a gentle nicker. I laughed as I reached into my tunic and pulled out the carrot that I had brought along with me. I rubbed the old mare behind her ears as I listened to her crunching on the treat. When she had finished up the carrot, I opened the door and slipped inside of her stall, enveloping her in a big hug around her neck. Faenelin nuzzled my back gently, sniffing for more treats.

"That's all I brought, sweet girl," I replied softly, closing my eyes as I leaned into her warmth. Breathing in deeply, I took in the wonderful horsey smell that I treasured and tried to lock it away someplace safe in my memory. I would hold it close if I ever needed something to calm myself down during the journey.

Deciding that I had enough time to take the mare out for a ride, I slipped the mare's halter over her ears and led her outside. I hopped on bareback and we started off around the fields, both content to simply walk and enjoy each other's company.

I didn't say anything as we walked by the forest's edge, my thoughts wandering as I swayed to the mare's steps. Faenelin kept her head out in front of her, one ear pricked forward attentively while her other ear was directed back casually in my direction. She was probably wondering why I was being so quiet, since I usually chatted away on our rides alone. I gave her neck a reassuring pat, smiling to myself.

We didn't stay out too long. After one lap around the fields I decided that I had best be getting on with my day. When I halted Faenelin outside of the stables, I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around her neck, reluctant to dismount. I knew that this was the last time that I would ever see the mare, and I wanted to linger in this moment forever. The silver mare blew through her nose gently, bringing her head around to lip at the toe of my boot playfully, and I laughed. Sliding off, I landed on the ground and gave the mare a pat before leading her inside.

Though she didn't need a brushing, I spent a short while making her shine. Faenelin appreciated the grooming, and munched on her hay in contentment as I ran the soft brush over her silver coat until it gleamed in the sunlight that beamed down through the skylights. Tossing the brush back in the grooming tote, I leaned on the stall wall and sighed, smiling across the box at the mare. Picking up her head, Faenelin glanced over at me and nickered quietly.

Crossing the stall, I held her head to my chest, pushing my nose into her forelock. "I'm going to miss you so much, old girl."

Faenelin butted me playfully with her forehead and I laughed despite my sadness. I knew that she wouldn't want me to cry, so I held back my tears and rubbed her behind her ears. Animals had always been a weak point for me, and knowing that this mare had been one of the major reasons why I had been able to survive my time in Lothlórien made it that much harder to let her go. But I knew that I had to.

Shutting my eyes tightly, I planted a long, lingering kiss on her forehead, holding her close. After pulling away, I kissed her again a few times on her nose, before chuckling sadly.

"Thank you, Fae," I said as I straightened up. The mare looked at me through her chocolate brown eyes and I smiled, feeling truly blessed that I had met her. I turned and stepped out of her stall, latching the door behind me. Blowing one last kiss in her direction, I turned and started off down the aisle.

"Hérion?" I called as I neared the office at the end of the aisle. I heard the ruffling of papers and decided to poke my head in, hoping that I wasn't disturbing him.

"Christa, how are you?" came his reply as I peeked in. He was sitting at his desk, sifting through several stacks of parchment. I smiled as he glanced up at me.

"I'm well, thanks," I replied, taking the liberty of stepping into the small space. "I came to say goodbye." I watched as Hérion paused what he was doing and looked up at me again.

"You are leaving?" he asked, brows furrowed slightly. I nodded with a sad smile.

"Yes. I depart in the morning."

Hérion stood from her chair and walked over, stopping in front of me. Extending my hand, we clasped each other's forearm and squeezed. "I'm so glad to have met you, Hérion. Thank you for letting me ride Faenelin."

"Thank you for your help, Christa. I am glad to have met you," he replied with a wide smile. "Safe travels, mellon."

I smiled broadly and let go of his arm, bowing my head in farewell before dipping back out of his office. _I think that does it for goodbyes, then. I will be seeing Raina in the morning, and Haldir as well. Galadriel and Celeborn will be present to see us off._

I soon found myself back at my flet, sitting by myself on my bed. I was pretty much all set for the morning, now. All I had left to do was run through the very short list of things that I wanted to bring along with me. I had only a small bag for carrying supplies, but I didn't have much to bring along anyways. I would wear my hair clip, and everything else that I owned could be worn on my person. I had a few other small trinkets that I had picked up recently at the market: a small pocket knife, a tinderbox, a new hairbrush, some leather for tying my hair, and some extra bowstring. I also had some extra packets of arrows that I was going to want to bring along with me.

Scanning the room, I debated going down to spend some time with the Fellowship, but decided against it. I had spent enough time with them lately getting to know them, and I didn't want to be in their hair while they decided what our next course of action would be. _You are a member of the Fellowship now. You're allowed to be there for such talks._ I just didn't feel comfortable enough yet to take part in those discussions, or help make decisions.

 _Well, you're going to have to get used to it._

What I needed right now was some time alone, and this was going to be the last opportunity to be by myself for a while.

* * *

Morning came too soon. I squinted as the sunlight hit my eyes, blinking hard as I stirred. Rolling over onto my side, I stared across the room at the pile of clothes that lay on the table, and instantly felt sick to my stomach. Today was the day.

It took all of my effort to not roll back over and go back to sleep. Maybe if I overslept, the Fellowship would just leave without me. _No. You have to go. If you don't go, you don't get home._ With that thought, I heaved myself out of bed and trudged over pick up the bundle of clothes, before heading to the bathroom.

I bathed quickly but efficiently, making sure that I was as clean as possible. I didn't know when I would be able to bathe again, so I made the most of it. I dried off and combed through my hair before pulling it into my customary braids, before deciding to add them to a full braid down the back of my head. I didn't need lose hair flying all over the place and getting in my face.

"Time to see if these fit," I murmured as I eyed the garments. That would be an unpleasant surprise. I slipped into the undergarments first, opting for one of the thicker pairs of socks. The simple undershirt was really comfortable, with a fair amount of stretch. It offered some support as well, which I was grateful for.

I pulled the breeches on next. They were thicker and slightly stiffer than the cotton breeches that I had grown accustomed to, but they fit me like a glove and I knew that I would love them once I was used to them. The silver followed, and I did up the buttons near the collar with nervous fingers.

The I put on the corset next, making sure that there were no wrinkles under the leather that would bother me later. I tied it up on the side before taking a quick walk around the room to see if it was tied tight enough. I ended up retying it a couple of times before it felt right, but once it was tight, it felt almost like a second skin.

The outer tunic went on next, and I laced up the front quickly, tying it off with a small knot at the bottom. I pulled on the last few items, fiddling with the buckles and ties until everything felt comfortable, before I looked in the mirror. It was a startling sight, seeing myself dressed in such a manner. It all looked too fancy, but at the same time, I felt amazing. I admired the outfit in the mirror for a few moments longer, until I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in!" I called, knowing that it was Raina. Sure enough, I ventured out of the bathroom to see her placing a with a few small packets on the bed.

"Good morning, Christa. I would have brought your breakfast, but it appears that you will be fed before you depart," she said as I walked over to greet her.

"Thank you, Raina," I replied, actually thankful that she hadn't brought breakfast. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to keep it down later, if I even managed to eat it at all. I was far too nervous.

"I brought these though," she added, gesturing the the packets that she had set down. "They are for your moon," she explained as I picked one up to examine it. I turned to her, an eyebrow raised in confusion.

"My moon?"

"Yes. It was my understanding that mortals received their moon in accordance with the cycles of the moon, yet you have not expressed a need for such items. Elves receive them during _Echuir,_ which began a short while ago, so I figured that you may yet need them on your travels."

I continued to look at the package in confusion, before Raina's explanation finally made sense. "Oh!" I exclaimed, looking at Raina as I stifled a laugh. "That's very thoughtful of you, but I won't be needing these," I laid the package back down on the bed. Raina eyed me, perplexed.

"Do mortals of your land not bleed?" she asked me, struggling to comprehend why I didn't need the elvish feminine hygiene products. I couldn't help but laugh now, feeling slightly bad and hoping that I wasn't embarrassing her.

"No, no, it's nothing like that," I said, wondering how I was going to explain this to her. "I actually can't have children," I said simply. I was met with wide eyes that quickly dropped to the floor.

"I am so sorry. I did not know," she said quickly, colour rising to her cheeks. I stepped forward quickly and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Actually, as odd as this may sound, I never wanted any children anyway," I said, hoping this would calm her down. "There's no need to apologise, it doesn't bother me." Raina looked back up at me.

"You never cease to surprise me," she replied after a moment, and we shared a laugh.

I helped her pick up the packets before she offered one back to me. "This one contains a small farewell gift," she explained.

"You didn't have to get me anything. Besides, you already brought me these clothes," I said with a smile.

"I am glad to see that they fit well. I insist, however, that you take this gift as well," Raina replied softly.

Unfolding the linen, I pulled out a silver chain. Dangling from the bottom was a tiny silver horse head, mane flying in the wind. My lips parted and I looked back up at Raina, who was already smiling.

"You know me well," I said with a grin. "I love it. Thank you, Raina." I immediately unclasped it and put it around my neck. "Thank you for everything that you have done for me during my stay here. I honestly don't think that I would have been able to survive a day in this city without your guidance and assistance!"

"It was a pleasure and an honour," she replied, her eyes shining.

I knew that it was not the elven custom, but I couldn't help but wrap the elleth in a warm embrace. If she was surprised, she played it off well, even wrapping her own arms around my back lightly. When I let her go, there were tears brimming her eyes.

"Don't cry, you'll make me cry!" I laughed, though I felt my own eyes watering over at the sight. She laughed and wiped them away, stifling a sob as she smiled.

"Stay safe, Christa."

"Thank you, Raina," I replied, letting a tear roll down my cheek. I was unashamed to cry in front of Raina. She had seen me at both my best and my worst, and I loved her for caring for me so unconditionally. With a final smile, we nodded in farewell and I saw her out the door.

Then I was alone again. Tucking the pendant safely beneath my shirt, I did one final sweep of my room as I munched on my breakfast. It was strange, knowing that this was the last time that I would be in the space. Despite the slim odds of ever using it, I grabbed a bar of soap from the bathroom and tossed it into my bag. Fearing that I had already lingered in my flet for too long, I fastened my quiver to its holster and grabbed Haldir's bow and my extra arrows. I was going to grab Haldir's cloak, but realised with excitement that I was going to be getting my own later on.

 _This is it._ I hoisted my bag over my shoulders and opened the door, the brisk February air hitting me as I walked through, never to return.

The climb down the stairs passed much too quickly for my liking, and I soon found myself striding across the lawn towards the Fellowship's pavilion.

"Good morning," I said to the group as I approached. They had begun to pack up their things, which were few. Legolas looked up as I neared the camp and smiled warmly.

"Hello, Christa," he said, eyeing the bow in my hand curiously. He looked away before I could comment, perhaps sensing a touchy subject. The other members seemed pretty down in spirits, but Legolas kept a positive demeanor, true to his book character. I was thankful for this.

"You were not present last night," Legolas added as I glanced around the camp, taking note of the hobbits, who looked particularly forlorn. Aragorn, also, was not his usual charismatic self, offering me only a quick nod in greeting as he helped the hobbits to pack up their bedrolls.

I looked up at him, realising that the meeting with Celeborn and Galadriel had slipped my mind. "I actually forgot," I said sheepishly, looking back up at the elf.

"It has been decided that we will journey down the river Anduin. Lord Celeborn has gifted us with several boats."

"That was very gracious of him," I replied, doing my best to seem thankful at this news. It was going to be harder than I had originally thought, playing along as if I didn't already know the story. However, I knew that it would be advantageous for me. I didn't think that I would have stood a chance at surviving the journey if I didn't know of the perils ahead.

I soon noticed a group of elves crossing the lawn, their arms laden with many things. They greeted us as they approached, speaking in the Common Tongue. Taking a closer look at the items that they were carrying, my heart skipped a beat in excitement. While some elves were holding packs that surely contained food, the others were bearing bundles of grey cloth, which could only have been the cloaks.

"We bring you gifts of food and clothing," one elf said with a warm smile.

"Cram," Gimli muttered quietly as he opened up one of the packages and broke off a small piece of bread. The bread was wrapped in a green mallorn leaf, and I smirked as I watched his expression change to one of surprise as he tasted it. He quickly devoured the rest of the bread, and I held back a chuckle.

"No more, no more!" the elves said as they watched Gimli eat the lembas, laughing. "You have eaten enough already for a long day's march."

"I thought it was only a kind of _cram_ , such as the Dale-men make for journeys in the wild," Gimli replied, sheepishly. I grinned at the dwarf.

"So it is, but we call it _lembas_ or waybread, and it is more strengthening than any food made by Men, and it is more pleasant than _cram_ , by all accounts."

"Indeed it is," Gimli replied, looking down at the empty wrapping in his hands. "Why it is better than the honey-cakes of the Beornings, and that is great praise, for the Beornings are the best bakers that I know of; but they are none too willing to deal out their cakes to travelers in these days. You are kindly hosts!"

"All the same, we bid you spare the food," the elf replied, smiling broadly at Gimli's words. "Eat little at a time, and only at need. For these things are given to serve you when all else fails. The cakes will keep sweet for many many days, if they are unbroken and left in their leaf-wrappings, as we have brought them. One will keep a traveler on his feet for a day of long labour, even if he be one of the tall Men of Minas Tirith."

Next, the elves each unfolded the cloaks they were holding in their arms. Stepping forward, they clasped them around our necks, fastening them each with a brooch. My heart beat rapidly in my chest as mine was fastened, in disbelief that this was actually happening to me.

"Are these magic cloaks?" asked Pippin from beside me, looking down at his cloak in amazement.

"I do not know what you mean by that," the elf replied with a confused smile. "They are fair garments, and the web is good, for it was made in this land. They are elvish robes certainly, if that is what you mean. Leaf and branch, water and stone: they have the hue and beauty of all these things under the twilight of Lórien that we love; for we put the thought of all that we love into all that we make. Yet they are garments, not armour, and they will not turn shaft or blade. But they should serve you well: they are light to wear, and warm enough or cool enough at need. And you will find them a great aid in keeping out of the sight of unfriendly eyes, whether you walk among the stones or the trees. You are indeed high in the favour of the Lady! For she herself and her maidens wove this stuff; and never before have we clad strangers in the garb of our own people."

I listened intently as the elf talked about the cloaks, my fingers running across the smooth fabric in awe. _I have my own Fellowship cloak!_

Breakfast was brought to us next, and I forced myself to eat a few bites. My stomach threatened to turn itself upside down at any moment, and I stopped eating for fear of throwing up. It was a magnificent meal, but I looked upon the food with contempt. I knew that I would regret not eating a full meal later on, but I just couldn't bring myself to eat anymore.

I was distracted from the meal as I noticed another figure striding across the lawn. Haldir was clad in grey, his face somber. I met his gaze briefly as he approached, managing a small smile. He smiled also, though I could tell that it was not sincere.

'I have returned from the Northern Fences,' Haldir spoke as he came to stand in front of us. "and I am sent now to be your guide again. The Dimrill Dale is full of vapour and clouds of smoke, and the mountains are troubled. There are noises in the deeps of the earth. If any of you had thought of returning northwards to your homes, you would not have been able to pass that way. But come! Your path now goes south." He turned to me as he finished speaking, and my heart ached.

I picked up my bow and quiver, fastening them overtop of my cloak. Following Haldir across the lawn, we started off along the main road. I walked behind Haldir, Merry and Pippin at my side. We followed the path through the woods, passing the market and the archery range. With each memory that sprang into my mind, I felt my stomach lurch. I was leaving all of them behind, but what choice did I have?

It didn't take us too long to leave the city centre behind. The ground felt familiar beneath my feet, and I knew that this would have been the same path that I had been led along when I had first arrived in Middle Earth. I was glad to be able to see the ground before me this time, as well as the forest around me.

As we continued on, I noticed the changes that were happening to the woods around me. The golden leaves had begun to drop from their branches, and in their place were leaves of green and silver. Golden flowers blossomed among them as the forest floor was blanketed in the fallen leaves, the trees never bare. I was leaving this beautiful place just as Spring rolled around, and it gave me a strange feeling.

We soon came to a large gate, which was opened as we approached. Passing through, we crossed over a bridge before leaving the stone road behind. The pathway narrowed as it weaved downhill through the trees, which were growing smaller with each step. The walk was easy, but my feet dragged nonetheless, for I had left Caras Galadhon behind me forever.

It must have been almost noon by the time we reached the edge of the forest. Passing through a tall hedge wall, I saw suddenly the glimmer of the water not far away. Between us and the water was a lawn, the grass bright green in the sunlight. There were a few trees that I did not recognise dotting the lawn, but otherwise the lawn was clear. To our right, the Silverlode flowed swift to meet the Great River on our left. The Goldenwood reached out behind us, tall and regal, while across the river the banks were bare. Beyond the banks the trees grew thick again, but they were dark and menacing. I shivered.

We walked across the lawn, stopping when we arrived at a small harbour were several boats were docked. Among them were three grey boats, where the elves that had traveled with us placed our supplies. Sam picked up a coil of rope that way lying in the grass, looking at it intently as the other coils were placed in the boats.

"What are these?" he asked no one in particular.

"Ropes indeed!" one of the elves replied as he packed the boats "Never travel far without a rope! And one that is long and strong and light. Such are these. They may be a help in many needs."

"You don't need to tell me that! I came without any and I've been worried ever since. But I was wondering what these were made of, knowing a bit about rope-making: it's in the family as you might say," Sam replied enthusiastically.

"They are made of hithlain," the elf replied. "but there is no time now to instruct you in the art of their making. Had we known that this craft delighted you, we could have taught you much. But now alas! unless you should at some time return hither, you must be content with our gift. May it serve you well!"

"Come!" Haldir spoke up as the last of our goods were placed into the boats. "All is now ready for you. Enter the boats! But take care at first!"

"Heed the words!" the other elves cautioned. "These boats are light-built, and they are crafty and unlike the boats of other folk. They will not sink, lade them as you will; but they are wayward if mishandled. It would be wise if you accustomed yourselves to stepping in and out, here where there is a landing-place, before you set off downstream."

With those words, the hobbits took the advice as began to acquaint themselves with the boats. I stood on the docks, content to wait until the hobbits had gotten used to the rocking of the boats. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned my chin to see Haldir looking down at me.

"Would you join me for a moment?" he asked, his voice soft. I nodded wordlessly and followed him back towards the woods. Once we were away from the others, he turned to me. I looked at his chest, knowing that this was goodbye. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I didn't want to look into his eyes knowing that it would be the last time. I was only vaguely aware of his hands as they played with my hair, pulling it from its braid. He swiftly added a small braid down the side of my head, running along behind my ear.

"This is my last gift to you. You are headed off to fight for Middle Earth, you are a warrior now." I reached up to feel the thin braid, not knowing what to say in response, before making sure to cover up my ears again.

"Goodbye, Haldir," I said quietly after a long moment, knowing that the clock was ticking. The Fellowship would be waiting for me. Haldir grasped my hands.

"This is not goodbye," he said firmly, his eyes piercing mine. I took a shaky breath, unable to believe his words. "I promise you, I will see you again. After this is all over…" he trailed off, his eyes never leaving mine. I nodded.

"Okay," I said simply, my hands trembling. After a moment, I fell into his chest, wrapping my arms around his torso, holding him tightly. Haldir embraced me too, burying his nose into my hair and taking a deep breath. I closed my eyes, never wanting to let him go. Time lingered on, and it felt like an age had passed by the time I felt Haldir loosen his arms. I clung to him a few seconds longer before forcing myself to let go.

I looked up at him, offering him one last smile. Haldir returned the gesture, his eyes filled with sorrow. No more words were needed; there was nothing left to say. Taking a deep breath, I turned and strode back off towards the docks, the smile falling from my lips.

 _Goodbye, Haldir._

* * *

 _Nooooo poor Haldir! Poor Christa! I'm SO happy with this chapter, and I hope that you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I had originally intended on taking this chapter until they sailed away on the boats, but it just felt right to end it here, plus the chapter was getting long._

 _Please leave me a review and let me know what you thought! We are almost to 150 reviews and that makes me feel so incredibly honoured. I still can't believe how successful this story has become, and I have all of you readers to thank for that!_

 _Remember to check out the_ _ **tumblr blog**_ _,_ _ **Waking-Dreams-Fanfic**_ _! I will be posting neat things like location updates, clothing and weapon designs, music, and other things as soon as the journey kicks off!_

 _Thank you for reading!_

 _-Eru_


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21:

" _How heavy are my hands?_

 _They're heavier than blood_

 _That rushes to my head_

 _As I will walk away from here again"_

I made my way back towards the docks with heavy feet. Even now that I knew it was too late, I was still weighing the option of turning around and running all the way back to my flet. _I could just turn around_ , I told myself, but quickly reminded myself that this was my only chance at getting home. So I bit my lip and trudged on, emerging from the trees to see the rest of the Fellowship settling into the boats.

Though I knew that there was certainly no expectation of me to look happy, I still tried my best not to let my sorrows show. Aragorn and Boromir were helping the hobbits into their boats, while Legolas waited for Gimli to be seated in theirs. Before I could ask where I would be sitting, Gimli noticed me and waved me over.

"You're stuck with us, lassie," he said gruffly as he shifted into his seat. I smiled, wishing that I could have been in a better mood.

Legolas was seated at the back, and Gimli at the front. Seated between the two, my pack and a few other supplies placed at my feet, I found myself holding a paddle. I looked down at it skeptically, fingers trailing across the smooth grey wood. Legolas had another paddle, which he already had in the water, anticipating Aragorn's orders to start off.

"I can't remember the last time I used one of these," I mused as I placed my own paddle into the clear water, watching the ripples travel across the smooth surface, floating lazily along with the current. Legolas chuckled.

"You will have time enough to get accustomed to it," he answered easily. I found it both a comfort and an annoyance that the elf seemed to not be so bothered about leaving Lothlórien behind. I knew that he must have surely been feeling sad, but it irked me that he hid it so well.

We soon pulled away from the docks, making our way slowly up the stream. The water was bright, the morning sun glinting off the surface, and I stared straight ahead, watching the two other boats in front of us. I saw Sam clutching at the sides of his boat, looking across the water at the shore, and was thankful then that I wasn't fearful of the boats like he was. _Poor Sam._

As we carried on, I listened to the sound of our paddles in the water. All else was quiet, apart from some birdsong from the shores. A few golden mallorn leaves floated along beside us, and I reached down to scoop one up absentmindedly.

We had not traveled very far when my eyes shifted to something not far up the stream. A large white boat was making its way towards us swiftly, the current carrying it easily. I saw quickly that it was shaped like a swan, its wings half-spread as if it had just landed on the water. Two elves in white stood with black paddles, steering the boat down the stream. In the middle were Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel, the latter wearing a crown of golden flowers from the spring mallyrn. She sang as they neared our boats, fingers dancing upon the harp at her side. Her words were lost to me, my ears too focused on the sounds of the strings.

"We have come to bid you our last farewell," Galadriel said as she finished her song. Aragorn's boat had drawn up next to the swan, and he halted it to speak with her. "and to speed you with blessings from our land."

"You have not yet eaten with us, and we bid you, therefore, to a parting feast, here between the flowing waters that will bear you far from Lórien," Celeborn added as their boat drifted on past Aragorn's.

I helped Legolas to turn the boat around, and we followed the Lord and Lady's vessel back towards the hythe. We docked and climbed from the boats, joining Celeborn and Galadriel on the green lawn. Already the two accompanying elves had laid out a multitude of dishes, but I barely glanced at them as I sat down on the grass with the others. Breakfast had been hard enough to keep down. Knowing, however, that this would be the last time that I would get to eat anything this good, I convinced myself to eat something small.

As I finished nibbling on a pastry, Celeborn raised his hand and pointed across the water to the forest on the far shore.

"As you go down the water, you will find that the trees will fail, and you will come to a barren country. There the River flows in stony vale amid high moors, until at last after many leagues it comes to the tall island of the Tindrock, that we call Tol Brandir. There it casts its arms about the steep shores of the isle, and falls then with a great noise and smoke over the cataracts of Rauros down into the Nindalf, the Wetwang as it is called in your tongue. That is a wide region of sluggish fen where the stream becomes tortuous and much divided. There the Entwash flows in by many mouths from the Forest of Fangorn in the west. About that stream, on this side of the Great River, lies Rohan. On the further side are the bleak hills of the Emyn Muil. The wind blows from the East there, for they look out over the Dead Marshes and the Noman-lands to Cirith Gorgor and the black gates of Mordor."

I listened intently, able to piece together some of the things that he was saying. It was not often that I had heard the Lord of Lothlórien speak, but he spoke in the same manner as Lady Galadriel. Musical and poetic, but somewhat hard to follow, I found. I recognised few of the places that he had named, but that was it. Mordor, of course, was one of the names that I knew well, and I shivered at the thought of it. Rohan, too, was etched vividly in my mind, and I hoped that my path would take me there as expected, and not to the fiery peaks of Mount Doom.

"Boromir, and any that go with him seeking Minas Tirith, will do well to leave the Great River above Rauros and cross the Entwash before it finds the marshes. Yet they should not go too far up that stream, nor risk becoming entangled in the Forest of Fangorn. That is a strange land, and is now little known. But Boromir and Aragorn doubtless do not need this warning."

 _Fangorn Forest._ I wondered if it was as it was depicted in the movies, dark and threatening. Yet it had seemed magical and wonderful to Legolas. _I wonder if he could really hear the trees talking._

I was pulled from my thoughts as Galadriel rose from the grass, taking a cup from one of the elf maidens at her side. Offering it to her husband, she looked at each of us as she spoke.

"Now it is time to drink the cup of farewell. Drink, Lord of the Galadhrim! And let not your heart be sad though night must follow noon, and already our evening draweth nigh."

Once Celeborn had drank, we were each given a cup of our own. I didn't know what was inside of it, but I drank nonetheless when bid to. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was sweet, and I drank it easily. We were promptly told to take a seat once again on the grass, the Lord and Lady taking seats that were brought to them.

"We have drunk the cup of parting," Galadriel said once she and her husband were settled, "and the shadows fall between us. But before you go, I have brought in my ship gifts which the Lord and Lady of the Galadhrim now offer you in memory of Lothlórien."

I watched eagerly as each member of the Fellowship was called before Celeborn and Galadriel. Aragorn was first, and was presented with a sheath for his sword. It was made of a rich, brown leather, and decorated with flowers and leaves of silver and gold. I was surprised to see the name of Andúril etched on the side, and realised that he must have been given the sword prior to leaving Rivendell.

"The blade that is drawn from this sheath shall not be stained or broken even in defeat," Galadriel said as he admired it. "But is there aught else that you desire of me at our parting? For darkness will flow between us, and it may be that we shall not meet again, unless it be far hence upon a road that has no returning."

"Lady, you know all my desire, and long held in keeping the only treasure that I seek. Yet it is not yours to give me, even if you would; and only through darkness shall I come to it," Aragorn answered grimly. I knew that he must have been speaking of Arwen. Funny, I had almost forgotten all about her. I was so busy worrying about my own troubles, that I had failed to remember that every other member of the Fellowship had left something behind, whether it was a lover, and family, or simply a home. They had chosen to depart on this quest for the greater good of their world, while I was going for no reason but my own. I knew that this quest did not need me, but still, I felt selfish at the thought.

I turned my attention back to Galadriel as she presented the Ranger with another gift. A silver brooch with a small green stone, which sparkled in the sunlight. "This stone I gave to Celebrían my daughter, and she to hers; and now it comes to you as a token of hope. In this hour take the name that was foretold for you, Elessar, the Elfstone of the house of Elendil!"

I watched as Aragorn took the brooch and pinned it to his tunic. He stood proudly before Galadriel, his gratitude showing. "For the gifts that you have given me I thank you. O Lady of Lórien of whom were sprung Celebrían and Arwen Evenstar. What praise could I say more?"

Galadriel smiled as Aragorn turned and sat down once again on the grass with the rest of us.

One by one, the rest of the fellowship was called before the Lord and Lady and presented with their own parting gift. It was interesting to watch, comparing the gifts to what each member had been given in the movies. Boromir was given a golden belt, and Merry and Pippin silver belts with golden buckles. _Very different from 'nice shiny daggers.'_ I had to keep from chuckling as I recalled the scene where Sam had been given rope. He had been overjoyed to see the rope by the boats earlier.

I gaped as Legolas received his new bow. It was longer than his old bow, and seemed stouter too. Beautifully crafted yet not at all like Haldir's, it was a light grey colour and had intricate designs carved into it. With it he received a matching quiver of arrows.

Sam was given a small box, and I had to listen carefully to hear what exactly was inside. Magical dirt for his garden in the Shire was what I figured it to be, from the sounds of Galadriel's words. I smiled, watching as Sam blushed at her words and bowed, holding the already treasured box tightly.

"And what gift would a Dwarf ask of the Elves?" Galadriel said once Sam was seated, turning to Gimli. I glanced over at him as he stood, trying to hide my smile.

"None, Lady," Gimli said as he stood before her. "It is enough for me to have seen the Lady of the Galadhrim, and to have heard her gentle words."

"Hear all ye Elves!" Galadriel laughed, grinning broadly at the dwarf's words. "Let none say again that Dwarves are grasping and ungracious! Yet surely, Gimli son of Glóin, you desire something that I could give? Name it, I bid you! You shall not be the only guest without a gift."

"There is nothing, Lady Galadriel," Gimli replied, stumbling over his words. "Nothing, unless it might be - unless it is permitted to ask, nay, to name a single strand of your hair, which surpasses the gold of the earth as the stars surpass the gems of the mine. I do not ask for such a gift. But you commanded me to name my desire."

I heard the almost inaudible murmur of the elves around us, and noticed Celeborn raise his eyebrows in wonder. Galadriel simply continued to smile.

"It is said that the skill of the Dwarves is in their hands rather than in their tongues, yet that is not true of Gimli. For none have ever made to me a request so bold and yet so courteous. And how shall I refuse, since I commanded him to speak? But tell me, what would you do with such a gift?"

"Treasure it, Lady," he answered, regaining some of his composure, "in memory of your words to me at our first meeting. And if ever I return to the smithies of my home, it shall be set in imperishable crystal to be an heirloom of my house, and a pledge of good will between the Mountain and the Wood until the end of days."

I was sure that in that moment, there was not one person who was not touched by his words. I couldn't help but smile again as I watched Galadriel cut three of her hairs and lay them into Gimli's palm.

"These words shall go with the gift," Galadriel spoke again as Gimli closed his hand around the strands protectively. "I do not foretell, for all foretelling is now vain: on the one hand lies darkness, and on the other only hope. But if hope should not fail, then I say to you, Gimli son of Glóin, that your hands shall flow with gold, and yet over you gold shall have no dominion."

Frodo was the last to receive his gift. I watched in awe as she passed him a small phial, the light of Eärendil glowing bright despite the sunlight.

"May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out. Remember Galadriel and her Mirror!" Galadriel concluded as Frodo stepped back, admiring his gift.

I shifted on the grass, waiting for Aragorn to stand and lead us back towards the boats, but he did not move. I looked back towards Galadriel, waiting for a final farewell, but instead met her gaze.

"Christa," she said, watching me expectantly. Shocked, I stood quickly from the grass and stepped forward. "You, too, have been our guest. I would not have you leave without a parting gift," Galadriel explained, smiling as she watched my expression.

"May these blades protect you on your journey home," she said simply, extending her arms to offer me a sheath. Unbuckling one of the pouches, I pulled out an elvish fighting knife, unable to find my words. The handle was made of grey wood and in it were carved a number of beautiful embellishments. I wrapped my fingers around the handle and drew the weapon, admiring the steel as it caught the sun's light.

"I cannot thank you enough," I said simply, staring down at the gift in awe. Though I had no idea how to use them, they were beautiful. _Not to mention sharp. Not for decoration._ I heard the Lady chuckle lightly and blushed slightly, returning the blade to its sheath.

"I wish you all the best," she replied with a final smile. Bowing my head in gratitude, I turned back to my companions and joined them as they rose to stand with the Lord and Lady. We made our way back towards the boats, climbing back into them and taking our seats again. As I waited for everyone to be ready, I tucked away my gift into one of the packs at my feet and stared down at the water to my right.

When the hobbits were seated, I Legolas and I picked up our paddles. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes as we were pushed off into the stream. I heard the water ripple around the boats and the farewell cries of the elves as we began to drift off down the stream. I turned my gaze back towards the banks, hoping for one last glimpse of Haldir, but I knew in my heart that he would not be there. I would not see him again, and perhaps it was for the best. I knew that I would break down if I was made to watch as I left him behind, and I needed to be strong now.

As the Silverlode flowed into the River Anduin, we passed Galadriel as she stood upon the bank. We all turned to watch as we drifted on down the river. Lothlórien was slipping away, and soon both it and Galadriel were small and distant, but my eyes saw well as she raised her arms in a final farewell, and my ears caught her distant song.

Though she sung in Quenya, and I did not understand many of the words, I found comfort in her voice. I watched as everything that I had grown to know and love shrank and eventually vanished around a bend in the river.

" _Farewell, Child. By the grace of the Valar, may you find true happiness."_ Galadriel's voice whispered in my mind, urging me to relax.

I heard Gimli weeping in front of me, and knew that all of the company must have felt deeply saddened, yet there were no tears in my eyes. For the first time since my arrival in Middle Earth, I willed myself to cry with my companions, but no tears came. So I sat in silence.

"I have looked the last upon that which was fairest," Gimli said suddenly, breaking the silence in the boat. "Henceforward I will call nothing fair, unless it be her gift." He paused before continuing.

"Tell me, Legolas, why did I come on this Quest? Little did I know where the chief peril lay! Truly Elrond spoke, saying that we could not foresee what we might meet upon our road. Torment in the dark was the danger that I feared, and it did not hold me back. But I would not have come, had I known the danger of light and joy. Now I have taken my worst wound in this parting, even if I were to go this night straight to the Dark Lord. Alas for Gimli son of Glóin!"

My heart ached for him as I listened to him speak, his emotions running deep in his words.

"Nay!" Legolas said in reply. "Alas for us all! And for all that walk the world in these after-days. For such is the way of it: to find and lose, as it seems to those whose boat is on the running stream. But I count you blessed, Gimli son of Glóin: for your loss you suffer of your own free will, and you might have chosen otherwise. But you have not forsaken your companions, and the least reward that you shall have is that the memory of Lothlórien shall remain ever clear and unstained in your heart, and shall neither fade nor grow stale."

"Maybe," Gimli said, quietly. "and I thank you for your words. True words doubtless; yet all such comfort is cold. Memory is not what the heart desires. That is only a mirror, be it clear as Kheled-zâram. Or so says the heart of Gimli the Dwarf. Elves may see things otherwise. Indeed, I have heard that for them memory is more like to the waking world than to a dream. Not so for Dwarves."

I contemplated Legolas' and Gimli's words as we drifted on in silence for a moment. I would never forget Lothlórien, no matter what. I could not forget it.

"But let us talk no more of it," the dwarf spoke up after a pause. "Look to the boat! She is too low in the water with all of our weight, and the Great River is swift. I do not wish to drown my grief in cold water."

I kept my paddle across my lap as Legolas steered our boat towards the middle of the river, following behind Aragorn and Boromir. I was lost in thought, my mind wandering to times spent galloping through the golden woods with Faenelin, strolling through the city with Haldir at my side. I was lost to memories of the smallest things: stringing my bow on a brisk morning as the sun rose, the sound of Raina knocking on my door, watching as the sun set behind golden boughs, enjoying dinner with Haldir and his brothers…

That was when I realised that I had forgotten about the letters. My heart stopped, breath hitching. Instinctively, I turned around quickly to look back again at the forest, even though I knew that it was long gone. _No!_ How could I have forgotten about something so important? There were so many words that I had written that I had never been able to say, and now Haldir might never read them. My knuckles quickly turned white as I clutched the paddle, until my hands began to tremble. Then, finally, the tears came.

* * *

" _How heavy are these words?_

 _Heavier than time_

 _That rushes past your face_

 _As you would turn to walk away again"_

Richard Walters _, Elephant in the Room_

Haldir:

I walked back to Caras Galadhon in my own company, desperate for some solitude. I was to return to my post at the eastern borders of the forest, but instead I found myself back at the great gates of the city. I passed through silently, hoping that my patrol would not react negatively to my late arrival. I wished to delay my return to them until the dawn. I would give them a valid excuse, and they would accept it as the truth, I knew this.

The city had fallen into shadow by the time I had returned, and though the silver lights lit the way, I saw only darkness. What was I to think of all of this? Christa had slipped through my fingers, and I was unsure as to what more I could have done to prevent it. In my heart, I knew that I had done all that I could have, yet it had happened all the same.

I found myself climbing the stairs of the great mallorn tree at the center of the city. Flight after flight I wound my way upwards until I reached the wide flet. Following the bridge across to the next tree over, I wandered across the next flet. My footsteps were silent in the night, and I walked lightly, despite knowing that now none of the lodgings were occupied.

I came to what had been Christa's flet and stood before the door, raising my hand on impulse to knock. I swallowed the knot that rose in my throat before lowering my arm and pushing the door open.

Stepping inside, I lit the lamp that sat on the table, my eyes straying to some scattered pieces of parchment that were laying on the table. Each was folded neatly in half. One in particular caught my eye as I noticed that my name was written carefully on the outside. Tentatively, I reached down to pick it up. It was clearly addressed to me, why had she not given it to me? Unfolding the parchment, I read through it carefully, fingers following the words along the page.

" _Haldir,_

 _I'm writing to you because I have many things to tell you. I wish that I could have spoken these words to you, but I was not brave enough._

 _I wish that I did not have to leave. I wish that I could tell you why exactly I needed to leave, but I'm afraid that I must keep that to myself. Since the day I set foot in Caras Galadhon, you have been there for me. You became my friend, my mentor, and (though I would rather forget about it) my saviour. You were always supportive of me. I felt comfortable sharing my secrets with you._

 _I have been selfish, Haldir, and I'm sorry. I know that you wished for more than friendship between us, and I would be lying to say that I did not wish for the same. For the longest time, I willed my heart to ignore your words, your glances... And I gave in. I was happy, I was happier than I had been in a long time._ _But there are certain things in this world that are not meant to be, I suppose. You made me feel alive, you pulled me from a dark despair that had been weighing me down for years. You made me feel loved again, and that was more than I could have ever hoped for. But I know that it is time for me to leave Lothlórien. There is more for me to learn, and Caras Galadhon has given me all that it has to offer._

 _I did not make this decision lightly, nor did I come to this decision by myself, as you already know._

 _I would tell you to not worry about me, but I know that saying that is pointless. You will worry about me, no matter what I write to comfort you. I will not try to convince you that I am by any means going to be safe, for I am leaving on a trip that I know will put me in great danger._

 _You have taught me well, and so long as Lady_ _Galadriel feels confident in my abilities, I believe that I am making the right choice in joining the Fellowship. Still, I will not say that I am not afraid. I am very afraid, but I suppose that I should be._

 _I do not know what else to say to you that might comfort you. I feel a hole in my heart when I think about leaving you tomorrow when the sun rises, and I wish that I could stay._

 _I wish that I could have loved you, Haldir. But I cannot be with you. It's tearing me apart to think that tomorrow will be the last time that I see you, that I hear your voice. Know that I won't ever forget you, nor all that you have taught me. You will always be in my heart. I will be strong._

 _I'm sorry. Stay safe, my friend._

 _Christa"_

I clung to the final piece of parchment, staring at her name as if it was a part of her. Unable to form coherent thoughts, I simply stared at the words that no longer made any sense. My fingers creased the paper before they loosened, letting the letters fall from my hands. They floated down to the floor, landing silently as I turned to leave her flet, eager to leave behind the ghost that loomed over my shoulder.

* * *

Christa:

Night soon fell, and the river became impossibly quiet. The sky was dark, and the river was black without the moonlight. Mist came along with the starless night, and I pulled my cloak tighter around myself as I looked to the banks. Large, dreary trees reached their roots down into the water, and we guided our boats beneath them, staying hidden in their shadows.

We paddled slowly well into the night, and I soon found that I was having a hard time sitting up straight. Pulling my paddle from the water, I sat with it on my lap, staring at Boromir's boat ahead of ours, trying my best to stay awake.

To my immense relief, Aragorn soon gave the word to make for the west bank. Legolas steered the boat behind the other two, guiding it up onto the shore. Stifling a yawn, I stood slowly, finding my legs weak from sitting for so long. The earth beneath my feet felt strange, and it took me a moment to properly find my balance. I helped Legolas pull the boat up further onto the shore, before grabbing my bedroll and wandering over to where the rest of the Fellowship had begun to settle down for the night.

Frodo was already asleep, and I had seen Aragorn carry him from their boat. Sam laid down beside him and pulled his bedroll up to his chin, shivering beneath the blankets. As tired as I was, I was not overly eager to go to sleep on the cold, hard ground. I laid my own bedroll down near the middle of the group, unwilling the sleep on the outside of the camp. I allowed myself a brief look into the bleak forest that sheltered us, before turning away, trying not to think of all the evil that could be lurking in the darkness.

If anyone was uncomfortable with my proximity to their own beds, they were too tired to mention it. I didn't even take the time to see who I was laying next to as I curled up under my blankets and closed my eyes. I was asleep within a matter of moments.

* * *

I woke too early for my liking, the sunlight hitting my eyes as it rose above the trees. Groaning, I opened my eyes and rolled over onto my back. I had slept on several rocks, judging by the rather sore spots on my right side. Pulling myself into a sitting position, I looked around at the other beds, noticing that some where empty.

"Ah, you are awake."

I turned the other way and saw Legolas as he stepped from the trees, his bow in one hand and two hares in his other. I resisted the urge to grimace as I caught sight of the dead animals, knowing that they would be breakfast. Aragorn followed behind him, holding a rabbit of his own. The ranger looked past me and nodded.

"It's time to wake them up, Sam," he said. I looked behind me to see Sam sitting up behind me. The hobbit had been so quiet that I hadn't even noticed him there. He leaned over and gently shook Frodo awake.

We ate quickly and packed up, moving most of the supplies from our boat to the other two, at Gimli's request. Despite Legolas' reassurances that the boat would not sink, the dwarf insisted on lightening it. Aragorn seemed to be in no rush to get anywhere too fast, but he insisted nonetheless that we get started early on in the day. I knew that I was certainly in no rush either, despite how much I hated sitting in the boats all day. I knew that when we reached the Falls of Rauros, I would have my first real taste of fighting, and that was definitely not something that I was looking forward to.

The day passed on uneventfully, our paddles barely pushing us along at all. We stopped briefly twice during the day to stretch our legs, and I was thankful for these stops. I had refrained from drinking an awful lot for fear of needing to relieve myself at inconvenient times, and so far it was working well. I was starting to feel a little lightheaded because of it, but it didn't bother me too much since I was only sitting. We let the river carry us along, and I even dozed a few times during the morning, and as the night fell. The next day was the same, stopping late at night to sleep on the shores beneath the trees.

During our third day on the river, the trees dwindled and then disappeared altogether. The Eastern bank was brown, with long, sloping hills rising up, crowding us. In shocking contrast to the dead lands to our left, the shore to our right was green and flat, and in most places masked by thick clusters of reeds. In this empty land, I found myself staring at the quiet waters ahead of us, my thoughts wandering back to the Goldenwood.

I wondered if Haldir had found my letters, and how he had reacted to my words. Had they helped him to better understand my leaving, or had they only made him angry with me? I knew that I would never know how he now felt about me, or if he would ever even have the chance to read them. Perhaps my letters had already been cleaned away and lost forever in the flames of the fireplace.

I also couldn't help but wonder, now that I had left, what might have happened if I had decided to stay behind in Lothlórien. Could I have ever found happiness in Caras Galadhon? No one seemed to think so, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I had made the wrong choice. I had felt happy with Haldir, but I wanted to go home. Maybe that was the wrong kind of happiness, or maybe I just hadn't been happy… enough? I shook my head and sighed. I honestly had no idea what to think anymore.

"Swans!" I heard Sam's voice pierce the silence of the afternoon and followed his gaze as I heard the flutter of wings above. A large flock of dark birds flew overhead. "And mighty big ones too!"

"Yes, and they are black swans." Aragorn replied, his voice carrying easily across the water.

"How wide and empty and mournful all this country looks!" Frodo said, and I looked forwards again, happy to hear the hobbit speaking. "I always imagined that as one journeyed south it got warmer and merrier, until winter was left behind for ever."

"But we have not journeyed far south yet," Aragorn said in response, before lapsing into a long-winded explanation of where exactly we were along the Anduin. I looked around as he described the lands that were on either side of us and hoped that we would not see any snow, as he was suggesting that we might. He concluded with mention of the orcs daring to cross the river and that they had been raiding Rohan's smaller settlements, stealing their horses. With those words, a shiver ran down my spine. I would take snow over orcs any day.

The days wore on, and with each day I felt less and less safe on the open river. The whole Fellowship felt the same, and we barely spoke. On one of these days, it was decided without any discussion that we would no longer allow the river to dictate our pace. Picking up our paddles, we traveled on at a faster speed, eager to move on.

On the fifth day, I was alerted that Gollum had been spotted, but I shrugged it off. I had no desire to lay eyes on him, and so I kept my eyes forward while the rest of the company kept their eyes peeled for him. I knew that he was of no threat to us, so I wasn't bothered by him. The days began to run together, a blur that I was growing too weary to keep track of. It was only through the others' talk that I knew how many days it had been since we had left Lothlórien.

On the eighth day, the lands around us again changed dramatically, rising up in stony ridges and sharp peaks. Atop the cliffs that rose on either side of the river stood tall fir trees, bent by the wind. And birds, there were birds everywhere.

"What is that, Legolas?" Aragorn asked, approaching our boat as we pulled up on the bank near sunset. Legolas looked up and I followed his gaze, searching the sky. "Is it, as I think, an eagle?"

"Yes," Legolas replied. "It is an eagle, a hunting eagle. I wonder what that forebodes. It is far from the mountains." I found it as he spoke, watching as it circled, far off. _Like, a giant eagle?_ I didn't ask, just in case it was a foolish question.

We didn't set off again until the sun had set, at Aragorn's discretion. For the first time since we had left Lothlórien, the sky was clear, and though there was no moon, the night was brighter than it had been.

"Come!" Aragorn said as we climbed back into the boats. Legolas pushed ours out into the river and we held it there while the others joined us on the water. "We will venture one more journey by night. We are coming to reaches of the River that I do not know well: for I have never journeyed by water in these parts before, not between here and the rapids of Sarn Gebir. But if I am right in my reckoning, those are still many miles ahead. Still there are dangerous places even before we come there: rocks and stony eyots in the stream. We must keep a sharp watch and not try to paddle swiftly."

Taking Aragorn's advice, I rested with my paddle on my lap. Legolas didn't need any help to keep up with the two boats ahead, and I was content to watch the night sky as we slipped quietly along the river. As the night went on, stars began to light up the sky, and I found myself getting lost within them. I wondered if there were any constellations that the peoples of Middle Earth had identified, and for a long while I traced my own.

It was late in the night when I heard the sound of rushing water, and felt Legolas trying to still the boat. Not a moment later, I heard Sam shout from up ahead and tensed, gripping my paddle tightly. I heard the thud of Aragorn and Boromir's boats as they bumped into each other, and braced as our own joined the huddle. I could see the sharp outlines of the rocks before us now, jutting out from the river. We were being pulled towards them.

"Hoy there, Aragorn!" Boromir yelled above the sound of the rapids. "This is madness! We cannot dare the Rapids by night! But no boat can live in Sarn Gebir, be it night or day."

"Back, back!" Aragorn called out to us all. "Turn if you can!"

"All together, paddle!" Boromir shouted, too. "Paddle! Or we shall be driven on the shoals!"

Legolas jammed his paddle into the water as I swung my own around to help. In the same instant, my ears caught the twang of bowstrings and the sound of arrows whizzing through the air. By some miracle, Frodo was the only one who was struck. He cried out but I quickly remembered his hidden mithril shirt. Several arrows sunk themselves into the sides of our boat, and I felt my pulse quicken as my adrenaline spiked.

"Yrch!" Legolas cried from behind me. _Orcs._ Gimli voiced my thoughts as I risked a look behind us at the eastern shore. My eyes widened as I heard more arrows come whistling towards us.

Throwing myself sideways instinctively to avoid being struck as an arrow whizzed by my head, the boat rocked dangerously and I felt myself falling sideways. My paddle fell from my hands and I grasped wildly for the side of the boat as I felt it tipping. My fingers grabbed the smooth surface of the wood, but I could not stop the boat from following me in my descent. I heard Gimli shout as I plunged into the river.

Everything went dark as I hit the icy water, my senses going numb all at once. I had no concept of up or down, and thrashed about in a panic. I quickly surfaced, coughing violently, and caught sight of the boat not far from me. Somehow, it had remained upright, and I briefly saw Gimli and Legolas as they searched for me in the water. Kicking madly, I tried to make my way towards them, but the current was too strong and I felt it dragging me away.

I had never been a very good swimmer, despite taking lessons when I was a child. My mother had nearly drowned as a teenager, and her frequent warnings and worryings had instilled in me a fear of water. Now, I held my breath and watched in horror as the river dragged me towards Sarn Gebir, my legs kicking and my arms working hard to keep me afloat.

I latched onto the first rock that I could, my arms wrapping around the cold stone. My boots dragged along the bottom of the river, but I could not stand. I did not trust myself to let go of the rock, so I clung to it with all of my strength.

The rush of the water drowned out all other noise, and soon the sounds seemed to die altogether. I felt my limbs tingling, my fingers and toes beginning to burn from the icy water. As the minutes passed without any signs of aid, I whimpered, unable to stop myself, and closed my eyes tightly.

 _So this is how I am going to die. Not on the edge of a sword, or by the tip of an arrow, but from hypothermia._ I would have laughed bitterly had I had the energy to do so, but instead I shivered violently and willed my fingers to not let go of their grip on the stone.

I was only vaguely aware of the sound of soft footsteps on the rocks behind me. My mind worked slowly, and I briefly feared that it was an orc, but even my sluggish mind was able to reason that no orc could ever move so quietly.

"Christa!" a voice whispered harshly. I was barely able to discern my own name above the noise of the water. Turning my head slowly, I pried open my eyes and looked up, seeing Legolas' figure against the night. Relief coursed through me.

"Legolas," I said through clenched teeth, watching as he kneeled down on the rock that he was perched on and reached out his hand.

"Take my hand," he insisted. "You must hurry; the orcs are still near."

Mustering my strength and my courage, I stared at his palm. In one quick movement, I released my grip on the rock and reached for Legolas' hand. My heart leapt in fear as the current threatened to drag me further down the river, but my hand found Legolas' safely. I clung to it for dear life as he pulled me towards him.

I clambered up onto the rock, the night air feeling even colder than the water had. The rock was slippery, and my leather boots offered me little traction on the smooth surface. I clung to Legolas tightly, terrified that I would slip and wind up back in the river. We slowly made our way towards the western shore, skipping from one rock to another.

By the time my feet touched the ground, I was sure that I was going to lose my toes to the cold. Letting go of Legolas, I tucked my hands under my arms and shivered as he steered me towards where the rest of the Fellowship was huddled in the darkness.

My clothes were dripping and weighing me down. I sat down as soon as I could and removed my cloak and outer tunic. The wind bit at me through my remaining clothes, and I was relieved when I felt a dry cloak being placed over my shoulders.

"Thank you," I said quietly, coming to my senses. I looked up sheepishly to see who had given me their cloak. Aragorn looked down at me, concerned.

"You are incredibly lucky," the Ranger said as he kneeled down, placing a hand on my forehead to feel my temperature. I had no response for him, so I sat quietly, ashamed at my rash actions. We were only a week into the venture and already I had made a fool of myself. He then motioned to take a look at my hands, which were red and felt as if they were burning. They must not have been as badly frozen as they felt, for he pulled away after a brief examination.

"We cannot linger," Aragorn said as he stood up, turning the to the rest of the company. I knew that he was talking to me more than anyone else, as they all seemed eager to get moving. Quickly and silently, we all got back into the boats and made our way carefully along the western banks until we found a safe spot to rest.

We stayed in the boats that night, too fearful of the orcs to set up camp and light a fire. I lay huddled at one end of the boat, with Legolas and Gimli farther towards the other end. We all were munching on a corner of lembas, staring up at the stars.

"Praised be the bow of Galadriel, and the hand and eye of Legolas!" Gimli said as he finished his wafer. "That was a mighty shot in the dark, my friend."

I glanced over, curious as to what he was talking about. Legolas looked over too. "But who can say what it hit?" he replied, obviously bothered.

"I cannot," Gimli added. "But I am glad that the shadow came no nearer. I liked it not at all. Too much it reminded me of the shadow in Moria - the shadow of the Balrog." His voice trailed off in a whisper.

"What shadow?" I asked quietly. The others continued to talk in their own boats, but Legolas turned to face me.

"A winged shadow, that is all I know. I shot it and it fell somewhere beyond the river," he replied, his brows furrowed.

I had a hunch that the 'winged shadow' was probably one of the winged steeds of the Ring Wraiths, but did not mention it. The conversation carried on, shifting from the beast and on to different matters. I knew not what they were discussing, and I didn't really care, to be honest. I curled up in the corner of the boat, hugging my knees to my chest, and tried to get some rest.

All through the night, I couldn't seem to fall asleep. Even after the others had drifted off, save Aragorn, who had offered to take the watch, my mind wandered. My clothes were still wet and clung to my skin, and I wished more than ever that Haldir was at by side. I longed to be in his arms, warm and out of harm's way. But I faced the cold reality of the night alone.

* * *

 _Yay! Next chapter is up! Kind of a not-so-great ending in my opinion, but I'm pretty happy with the rest of the chapter. It was a difficult chapter for me to write, as it is mostly just them paddling down the Anduin, but I did really enjoy writing from Haldir's perspective._

 _I'm interested to hear from you all, so please let me know what you thought of this chapter! I am trying not to include all of the book dialogue, but most of it seems too necessary to be taken out, so I hope that you guys don't mind having to read it all! I guess it's a good refresher for those of you who haven't read the books in a while!_

 _Remember to check out the Tumblr blog, **Waking-Dreams-Fanfic**! Now that Christa's left Lothlórien, things should be picking up on the blog. I've already posted a bunch of stuff, including an illustration of her clothing designs! I'll also be posting the designs for her knives, and other things as well!_

 _ **One final note** : I will be dividing this story up into at least two parts, probably three. I will give you all plenty of warning before this part of the story is over, and of course the next books will be able to be found on my profile. They will most likely simply be called **Waking Dreams: Part 1/2/3** , so they will be easy to find once they are up._

 _As always, thanks for reading!_

 _-Eru_


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22:**

The morning brought with it a warm fog. The dampness hung heavy in the air, and despite the long night, my clothes would not dry. I gave Aragorn back his cloak and pulled my tunic over my head. I tied my own cloak back around my neck, hating the way it weighed me down.

"I can't abide fog," Sam said once everyone had crawled from their boats, "but this seems to be a lucky one. Now perhaps we can get away without those cursed goblins seeing us."

"Perhaps so," said Aragorn, fastening his cloak. "But it will be hard to find the path unless the fog lifts a little later on. And we must find the path, if we are to pass Sarn Gebir and come to the Emyn Muil."

"I do not see why we should pass the Rapids or follow the River any further," Boromir spoke up. "If the Emyn Muil lie before us, then we can abandon these cockle-boats, and strike westward and southward, until we come to the Entwash and cross into my own land."

I looked reluctantly towards the boats, unsure if I would resent leaving them behind or not. In the boats, I could save my energy, but they left me feeling so exposed. But I knew that whatever Aragorn said was what I was going to agree with.

"We can, if we are making for Minas Tirith," said Aragorn in reply. I glanced up at him, knowing that he didn't wish to go to Minas Tirith, "but that is not yet agreed. And such a course may be more perilous than it sounds. The vale of Entwash is flat and fenny, and fog is a deadly peril there for those on foot and laden. I would not abandon our boats until we must. The River is at least a path that cannot be missed."

"But the Enemy holds the eastern bank," Boromir argued. "And even if you pass the Gates of Argonath and come unmolested to the Tindrock, what will you do then? Leap down the Falls and land in the marshes?"

"No!" Aragorn bit back, unappreciative of Boromir's sarcastic remark. "Say rather that we will bear our boats by the ancient way to Rauros-foot, and there take to the water again. Do you not know, Boromir, or do you choose to forget the North Stair, and the high seat upon Amon Hen, that were made in the days of the great kings? I at least have a mind to stand in that high place again, before I decide my further course. There, maybe, we shall see some sign that will guide us."

There was a long silence, and I shifted awkwardly on my feet, my socks squishing in my boots.

"It is not the way of the Men of Minas Tirith to desert their friends at need," Boromir said, finally, "and you will need my strength, if ever you are to reach the Tindrock. To the tall isle I will go, but no further. There I shall turn to my home, alone if my help has not earned the reward of any companionship."

His last words made me feel sick, and I tried not to let my grief show. Boromir had not been particularly amicable with me, but after his initial reluctance to let me join the Fellowship, he had stayed out of my way. He seemed like a kind man, and it pained me to think about what the Ring was doing to him. We would need him at Amon Hen, more than he could ever know. I pushed the thoughts from my mind, doing my best to forget that Amon Hen was only days away.

As noon approached, the fog began to lift, and the air became less humid. As we sat around the boats, finishing our breakfast, Aragorn and Legolas stood.

"Legolas and I will venture along the banks. It is my hope to find some way by which we can carry the boats and our baggage, for I dare not risk the rapids," Aragorn said. "Boats of the Elves would not sink, maybe, but that does not say that we should come through Sarn Gebir alive. None have ever done so yet. No road was made by the Men of Gondor in this region, for even in their great days their realm did not reach up Anduin beyond the Emyn Muil; but there is a portage-way somewhere on the western shore, if I can find it. It cannot yet have perished; for light boats used to journey out of Wilderland down to Osgiliath, and still did so until a few years ago, when the Orcs of Mordor began to multiply."

"Seldom in my life has any boat come out of the North, and the Orcs prowl on the east-shore," Boromir started again. He was beginning to get on my nerves. "If you go forward, peril will grow with every mile, even if you find a path."

He was right, of course, but his persistence in arguing with Aragorn was getting old.

"Peril lies ahead on every southward road," answered Aragorn. "Wait for us one day. If we do not return in that time, you will know that evil has indeed befallen us. Then you must take a new leader and follow him as best you can."

'Him'. His words struck me heavier than they should have. _Don't be silly. You wouldn't know the first thing about leading this group._ My irritation vanished quicker than it had appeared, knowing that the ranger had not meant it as an insult. I watched in silence as the pair left. Legolas offered me a reassuring smile, but I didn't need it. I knew they'd be back.

Sure enough, only a few hours later, they returned. The two slid easily down the steep hill around us and joined us by the boats.

"All is well," Aragorn said as we all stood to greet them. "There is a track, and it leads to a good landing that is still serviceable. The distance is not great: the head of the Rapids is but half a mile below us, and they are little more than a mile long. Not far beyond them the stream becomes clear and smooth again, though it runs swiftly. Our hardest task will be to get our boats and baggage to the old portage-way. We have found it, but it lies well back from the water-side here, and runs under the lee of a rock-wall, a furlong or more from the shore. We did not find where the northward landing lies. If it still remains, we must have passed it yesterday night. We might labour far upstream and yet miss it in the fog. I fear we must leave the River now, and make for the portage-way as best we can from here."

I listened intently, not liking the sounds of the journey to come. Boromir did not agree with Aragorn's plan, either, complaining that it would be a difficult task to complete, even if we were all Men.

"The legs of Men will lag on a rough road, while a Dwarf goes on, be the burden twice his own weight, Master Boromir!" Gimli retorted, up for the challenge.

Though the boats were surprisingly lightweight, the ground was too challenging for any save Boromir and Aragorn to carry them. As much as I longed to prove my worth now by helping to carry a boat with Legolas, I knew that the task would most likely be too hard for me. So the rest of us tagged behind on each trip, hauling the baggage along with us.

The walk was difficult, and I was glad that I had not been entrusted with a boat. Brambles scraped me through my breeches, and though the fabric protected me from cuts, my legs had begun to itch. The hobbits had a difficult time avoiding the holes that lay hidden beneath the weeds, and on several occasions they tripped in them. Thankfully, once we reached the portage way, the going got easier.

"I can help carry one of the boats with Legolas," I offered as we prepared to make the first trip down the pathway. "If the path is not too difficult, then we should have little trouble."

"It should not be too difficult," Legolas replied. Together, we hoisted one of the boats up onto our shoulders and started off with the others. Despite being easier to travel on then the previous walk, I found myself tiring quicker than I would have liked. I was relieved when we finally reached the landing and laid the boat down by the shore. We made the trip once again, carrying the rest of the supplies while Aragorn and Boromir carried the third boat. It was almost dark by the time that we all collapsed down by the river, exhausted.

"Well, here we are, and here we must pass another night," Boromir muttered. "We need sleep, and even if Aragorn had a mind to pass the Gates of Argonath by night, we are all too tired-except, no doubt, our sturdy dwarf."

I noticed that Gimli was nodding off and exhaled abruptly through my nose, not having the energy to chuckle but finding the sight funny nonetheless.

Before we settled down for the night, it was decided that we would set off again on the river as early as possible in the morning. Legolas and Aragorn took alternating watches, and I quickly nodded off.

* * *

I woke up in the morning even more damp than I had been the night before. A quick glance around me confirmed that we had had rain over night, and I was surprised that I had slept through it. We packed up our camp after a quick breakfast, and took to the river as soon as the sun was up.

Sometime before noon, it began to rain. I helped to unroll the covers over our knees to prevent the boat from flooding, and then sat there, feeling as though I could have cried. It was cold, and I was soaking wet once again. It came down so heavily that it became difficult to see the banks to our right. Thankfully, the rain soon stopped, and the sky lightened until all traces of the clouds and the fog had faded away.

"Now we all are wet," Legolas said to me, attempting to lighten the mood. I huffed, wishing that I was in the mood for laughter.

The river picked up speed as it narrowed, and the banks on either side of us rose steeply, dotted by a few trees here and there. Up ahead, far in the distance, I could see two large pillars of rock which stood on either side of the river. I soon realised that these were carved in the form of men. _The Argonath._

"Behold the Argonath, the Pillars of the Kings!" Aragorn said proudly as we approached, speeding down the river. "We shall pass them soon. Keep the boats in line, and as far apart as you can! Hold the middle of the stream!"

I dipped my paddle into the water on the opposite side as Legolas', and helped him to keep the boat in line. I watched in awe, eyes wide, as we passed through the figures, my eyes following them up to the sky. They were huge, far more enormous than I ever could have imagined, and it amazed me that they had been crafted by hand.

I had not expected the long chasm that we now passed through. The cliffs towered over our boats. They were so tall that the sun's light struggled to reach the river between them, and I shivered in the cold beneath my wet clothes. Fortunately, the river was swift and we soon emerged into a wide lake. My eyes traveled to the far end of the oval, falling on the tall peak at the centre of the water, and my heart raced nervously. We had reached Rauros.

"Behold Tol Brandir!" Aragorn's voice carried back over the thundering of the falls ahead. "Upon the left stands Amon Lhaw, and upon the right is Amon Hen the Hills of Hearing and of Sight. In the days of the great kings there were high seats upon them, and watch was kept there. But it is said that no foot of man or beast has ever been set upon Tol Brandir. Ere the shade of night falls we shall come to them. I hear the endless voice of Rauros calling."

The lake was longer than I had originally thought, and we took the opportunity to have a bite to eat, letting the strong current carry us out into the middle of the water. As the sun began to set behind the hills to the west, we took up our paddles again and hurried on our way to the western shore. Rauros was rumbling loud, and I found myself fearing that we would be dragged towards it and over the edge as we made our way South. It was dark by the time we reached the shore. The boats slid up onto the sand and we climbed out into the darkness.

I found it incredibly difficult to sleep that night, unable to calm my nerves. Rauros thundered nearby, and I stared out into the darkness of the woods around us. I had been surprised at the pleasant appearance of Amon Hen. The grass that we camped on was greener than anything that I had seen in many days, and a small stream trickled down the slope behind us. Parth Galen, Aragorn had called the lawn. I could hear him as he turned in his bed, restless. Eventually, exhaustion won over, and I fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

I was woken up by the sun as its rays beamed down from above Tol Brandir. Opening my eyes, I watched in silence as it rose above the dark clouds along the horizon, painting the sky red and gold. As beautiful as it was, a heavy dread had settled on my shoulders and would not leave.

"The day has come at last," Aragorn broke the heavy silence as we ate. "The day of choice which we have long delayed. What shall now become of our Company that has travelled so far in fellowship? Shall we turn west with Boromir and go to the wars of Gondor; or turn east to the Fear and Shadow; or shall we break our fellowship and go this way and that as each may choose? Whatever we do must be done soon. We cannot long halt here. The enemy is on the eastern shore, we know; but I fear that the Orcs may already be on this side of the water."

A long silence followed the ranger's heavy words, and I surveyed each member's face, trying to read them. Anything to keep my mind off of the events that were about to occur. _The Fellowship will break,_ I muttered to myself in my mind, my eyes landing on Boromir. They then travelled to Merry and Pippin, who sat beside the Gondorian. It broke my heart to see the two little hobbits so quiet. They had barely spoken a word since we had left Lothlórien.

When no one replied, Aragorn spoke up again. "Well, Frodo, I fear that the burden is laid upon you. You are the Bearer appointed by the Council. Your own way you alone can choose. In this matter I cannot advise you. I am not Gandalf, and though I have tried to bear his part, I do not know what design or hope he had for this hour, if indeed he had any. Most likely it seems that if he were here now the choice would still wait on you. Such is your fate."

"I know that haste is needed, yet I cannot choose," Frodo said after a moment of silence. "The burden is heavy. Give me an hour longer, and I will speak. Let me be alone!"

 _A whole hour?_ Aragorn agreed to give him some time alone, andI watched as Frodo stood and wandered into the woods behind us. Uncertainty tugged at the corners of my mind. I knew little of the book events, and so far, that was how things seemed to be proceeding. At least, I hoped that that was how they were proceeding. _What if you've already messed things up by tagging along?_ I silenced the voice quickly. What could my presence alone have messed up so far?

After a little while, the rest of us all sat down by the water and struck up a conversation to distract ourselves. I paid little attention as Aragorn discussed the vast histories of Gondor, instead staring off into the woods, ever fearful of them.

"It is now more hopeless than ever for the Company to go east, since we have been tracked by Gollum, and must fear that the secret of our journey is already betrayed. But Minas Tirith is no nearer to the Fire and the destruction of the Burden."

The conversation had shifted since I had zoned out, and I quickly tuned myself back in, sensing an important topic had come up. Aragorn continued.

"We may remain there for a while and make a brave stand; but the Lord Denethor and all his men cannot hope to do what even Elrond said was beyond his power: either to keep the Burden secret, or to hold off the full might of the Enemy when he comes to take it. Which way would any of us choose in Frodo's place? I do not know. Now indeed we miss Gandalf most."

"Grievous is our loss," Legolas spoke up, "we must needs make up our minds without his aid. Why cannot we decide, and so help Frodo? Let us call him back and then vote! I should vote for Minas Tirith."

His words surprised me. Everyone here knew that Frodo needed to eventually get to Mordor. Surely they would not abandon him so easily? I listened as Gimli agreed.

"We, of course, were only sent to help the Bearer along the road, to go no further than we wished; and none of us is under any oath or command to seek Mount Doom."

"We cannot leave Frodo," I interjected, furrowing my brows in concern.

"Well of course not," Gimli replied. I swallowed, unsure if I had upset him or not. "I would choose Minas Tirith, but if Frodo does not, then I follow him."

"And I too will go with him," Legolas agreed, glancing between me and Gimli. "It would be faithless now to say farewell."

"It would indeed be a betrayal, if we all left him," Aragorn added. "But if he goes east, then all need not go with him; nor do I think that all should. That venture is desperate: as much so for nine as for three or two, or one alone. If you would let me choose, then I should appoint three companions: Sam, who could not bear it otherwise; and Gimli; and myself. Boromir will return to his own city, where his father and his people need him; and with him the others should go, or at least Christa, Meriadoc and Peregrin, if Legolas is not willing to leave us."

I kept my mouth shut this time, despite the sting his words had on my ego. I knew full well that I wouldn't want to travel to Mordor if I was given the choice. Thankfully, I knew that I wasn't going to have to decide on my own. Merry and Pippin, however, were not so silent.

"That won't do at all!" Merry complained. "We can't leave Frodo! Pippin and I always intended to go wherever he went, and we still do. But we did not realize what that would mean. It seemed different so far away, in the Shire or in Rivendell. It would be mad and cruel to let Frodo go to Mordor. Why can't we stop him?"

"We must stop him," Pippin piped up. "And that is what he is worrying about, I am sure. He knows we shan't agree to his going east. And he doesn't like to ask anyone to go with him, poor old fellow. Imagine it: going off to Mordor alone! But the dear silly old hobbit, he ought to know that he hasn't got to ask. He ought to know that if we can't stop him, we shan't leave him."

"Begging your pardon," said Sam. "I don't think you understand my master at all. He isn't hesitating about which way to go. Of course not! What's the good of Minas Tirith anyway? To him, I mean, begging your pardon, Master Boromir."

When no reply came, we all turned and quickly discovered that he was nowhere to be found. His shield sat against the rock where he had been sitting, along with his pack. _Oh God._

"Now where's he got to?" Sam added, clearly worried. "He's been a bit queer lately, to my mind. But anyway he's not in this business. He's off to his home, as he always said; and no blame to him. But Mr. Frodo, he knows he's got to find the Cracks of Doom, if he can. But he's afraid. Now it's come to the point, he's just plain terrified."

Sam rambled on, but I couldn't be bothered to listen to him. My hands tightened on my bow by my side, trying to keep my nerves in check. When would it all begin? In my mind I had pictured everyone jumping up, springing to action the moment Boromir had been discovered missing. But instead, we sat here, discussing where Frodo had gotten to and what he would choose to do.

"The hour is long passed. The morning is wearing away. We must call for him." Aragorn said, making to stand. In that moment, a rustling in the trees behind us made me jump. I tensed, turning around quickly to see Boromir emerge from the woods.

"Where have you been, Boromir?" Aragorn said as Boromir sat down without a word. "Have you seen Frodo?"

"Yes, and no," Boromir answered, after a hesitation. "Yes: I found him some way up the hill, and I spoke to him. I urged him to come to Minas Tirith and not to go east. I grew angry and he left me. He vanished. I have never seen such a thing happen before, though I have heard of it in tales. He must have put the Ring on. I could not find him again. I thought he would return to you."

I watched Boromir's eyes trail along the ground, my heart racing nervously. Aragorn stepped towards Boromir, eyes narrowed.

"Is that all that you have to say?" He asked sternly.

"Yes," he replied, before shaking his head. "I will say no more yet."

Sam jumped up then, brow creased with concern. "This is bad! I don't know what this Man has been up to. Why should Mr. Frodo put the thing on? He didn't ought to have; and if he has, goodness knows what may have happened!"

"But he wouldn't keep it on" Merry said, trying to calm Sam. "Not when he had escaped the unwelcome visitor, like Bilbo used to."

Pippin jumped up as well to join Sam. "But where did he go? Where is he? He's been away ages now!"

My pulse began to race as I watched Aragorn take another step towards Boromir, who looked up wearily as the ranger approached.

"How long is it since you saw Frodo last, Boromir?" Aragorn asked. I could hear the edge of fear in his voice, no matter how well he was trying to conceal it.

"Half an hour, maybe," he said quickly. "Or it might be an hour. I have wandered for some time since. I do not know! I do not know!" His head fell into his hands and I looked up at Aragorn, genuinely scared about how things were playing out.

"An hour since he vanished!" Sam cried out as he looked towards the forest. "We must try and find him at once. Come on!"

"Wait a moment!"

Aragorn's plea was ignored, and I watched as Sam leapt into the trees, Merry and Pippin in tow. "We must divide up into pairs, and arrange-here, hold on! Wait!"

"Frodo! Frodo!" the hobbits called as they disappeared, drowning out Aragorn's voice as the camp erupted into chaos. I watched in dismay as Legolas and Gimli jumped up next and run into the woods in a different direction. In a panic, I sat there, fingers clamped around my bow, and stared at Aragorn, wide-eyed.

"We shall all be scattered and lost!" Aragorn said as he watched everyone go their own ways. "

"Boromir!" He said, turning back to the other man. "I do not know what part you have played in this mischief, but help now! Go after those two young hobbits, and guard them at the least, even if you cannot find Frodo. Come back to this spot, if you find him, or any traces of him. Christa, go with him. I shall return soon."

I stood up quickly as he left, turning to Boromir. Nope, no way was I going with Boromir. "I'm going to go after Legolas and Gimli," I said. I didn't wait for his reply before turning and dashing into the forest. I had no idea where the two had gone, but I could hear their voices not too far ahead as they called out for Frodo.

The forest rose up and down in sloping hills, and the trees were tall and winding, their branches masking my vision across the woods. Ran for several minutes, trying my best to follow the voices, but soon I stopped hearing them. The forest around me fell silent as I halted at the top of a slope, eyes scanning the trees around me. I quickly grew anxious as no sound reached my ears other than the faint sound of Rauros behind me.

Suddenly, out of the silence, I caught to distinctive sound of metal on metal. My breathing hitched and I tensed, slinking back against the nearest tree. The noise quickly grew louder, and soon I found myself turning and running back in the direction that I had come from in hopes of running into someone from the company. My blood pumped in my ears, blocking out all other sound as I ran.

As I crested the next hill, however, I was greeted by the exact opposite of what I wanted to see. Running below me were the Uruk-hai, broadswords in hand, metal armor clanging. They were huge, even bigger than I had been expecting. My eyes focused on the white hand that adorned their armour. I quickly stepped backwards in an effort to hide, but I had been spotted.

I didn't turn to look, but I heard several pairs of iron boots pounding the earth behind me. My fingers tightened on my bow, and I reached over my shoulder as I ran to pull an arrow from my quiver. I nocked it, my fingers trembling. When I reached the top of the next hill, I turned around and looked down the shaft of my arrow quickly, before letting it go. It sank itself into the throat of one of the beasts, and I nocked another arrow as quickly as I could. I let it fly as two more Uruk-hai ran towards me, and watched in disbelief as it hit its mark as well. The third was approaching quickly, but I drew another arrow in hopes of being quick enough to take care of it. I wasn't.

I let the arrow go, but it missed completely as the beast charged towards me. I dropped my bow and jumped to the side as it swung its sword in my direction. I landed on my shoulder, rolling over and standing up quickly as Haldir had taught me, before reaching over my shoulders and pulling out my knives. They felt good in my hands, but I held them awkwardly out in front of me, eyes wide as the Uruk turned to face me again. It sniggered at the sight of me, and my eyes narrowed despite my terror.

After a short pause, the beast attacked again, it's sword swinging dangerously close to my face as I jumped out of the way. I landed hard on the ground, springing up as quickly as I could as I heard the Uruk's sword swing again. I tried to spin out of the way, raised my blades as I eyed the back of the Uruk's neck, but I knew I had been too slow. I felt the jagged edge of the sword rip through the side of my thigh as I leapt towards the beast, sinking both of my blades into the thick flesh at the base of its neck. It roared as it fell, and I cried out in pain as I hit the ground.

I lay there for a moment, my pulse racing as I reached for my leg. I dared not look at it, but I could already feel the warmth of my blood as it soaked my breeches. _Get up!_ I screamed at myself in my head, knowing that I could be spotted at any moment. I dragged myself to my feet, limping to the nearest tree before leaning against it, fingers clutching the rough bark. I could hear the sounds of battle not too far away, and looked up at the branches, making up my mind. As the clangs drew nearer, I mustered up every ounce of my strength and sprang up, pulling myself into the tree. I climbed up as high as I dared, only stopping when I was sure that I wouldn't be spotted.

Clinging to the tree's trunk, I winced and gritted my teeth together in pain. As my adrenaline died away, the true extent of the pain was hitting me. The world around me grew fuzzy, and I held on tighter to the tree as everything began to spin.

Through the trees, I could see several forms as they rushed along a dip in the hills. _Merry and Pippin._ My focused on the sounds of their voices, and my eyes followed them as they dashed between the trees, fleeing from the Uruk-hai that followed them. I heard the clang of Boromir's sword as he engaged the beasts, and it wasn't long before I caught sight of him.

Time seemed irrelevant as I sat in the tree, my eyes dropping to the ground where my bow sat, useless, and suddenly I contemplated climbing back down to help Boromir. _Are you stupid? You will die._ I hated myself for leaving it down there in the dirt. The sound of the horn of Gondor tore me from my thoughts, and as I watched the first arrow pierce Boromir's chest, I hated myself for not being able to help him. My head began to spin again as another wave of pain swept over me. My eyes shut tightly as I heard the second arrow tear through Boromir's tunic, but still he did not fall. I only looked down at him when I heard the bowstring twang again, and watched as the man finally fell.

Blackness gripped my senses, and the last thing that I heard before I fell from the tree was Merry and Pippin as they cried out for help.

I was jolted back to consciousness as my hip hit the ground, the rest of my body following it with a thud. I moaned and lay there, tears springing from my eyes. I could feel the blood from my wound saturating my breeches, my whole upper leg now covered in it.

"There she is!"

Voices penetrated my clouded mind, but I didn't react. I lay there, teeth ground together, as I tried not to black-out again. The trees above me all melded together, a smear of green and brown.

"Christa!" Legolas' voice cut through my hazy mind as his and a pair of heavier footsteps approached.

"Lass, are ye all right?"

"I'm not sure, Master Dwarf, what you would consider to be 'all right'," Legolas said as he kneeled down beside me. "For she certainly is not. Christa, can you hear me?" he asked again, pulling aside my tunic to look at my wound.

"I can hear you, Legolas," I managed after a moment as I opened my eyes, swallowing a cry as he gently pulled aside the torn fabric of my breeches.

"Can you walk?" he asked me, looking down at me. I must not have looked as bad as I felt, if he was even considering the idea of me on my feet. I bit my lip and shook my head weakly. Without a moment's hesitation, he scooped me up in his arms. I cried out, unable to restrain it this time. "We must find Aragorn," he said as he started off through the forest, Gimli at his side. A quick glance back at the tree confirmed that we were headed in the direction that I thought to be correct, so I shut my eyes again.

"Try to stay awake, mellon," Legolas said firmly to me, and I opened my eyes as wide as I could, suddenly afraid of what might happen if I did drift off again.

Legolas soon stopped and I peered into the glade, my eyes traveling to where Aragorn was bowed over Boromir's still form.

"Alas!" Legolas said softly as he stepped forward. "We have hunted and slain many Orcs in the woods, but we should have been of more use here. We came when we heard the horn – but too late, it seems. I fear you have taken deadly hurt."

"'Boromir is dead,' said Aragorn. 'I am unscathed, for I was not here with him. I fear Christa may have fallen as well, for I sent her with him," he said, still holding Boromir's hand.

"Nay, she is here," Legolas said, laying me down as gently as he could on the earth. Aragorn quickly turned to me, relief washing over his face. "However she has not escaped unscathed."

"This wound is long," Aragorn said, turning to examine the cut in my leg. I winced as his fingers ran along the wound. "But not deep. You have lost a lot of blood, Christa."

I was quickly offered a canteen, and drank eagerly. Aragorn was already pouring water from his own canteen over the wound, rinsing it. "I will need some Athelas, Legolas," he said, not bothering to look up. Legolas disappeared quickly into the trees, and came back a moment later with the plant. _That stuff must grow everywhere,_ I mused as my mind cleared slowly.

Aragorn quickly set to work mashing the plant up, before he smeared it carefully into the wound. I bit back a scream, wishing that I wasn't acting like such a wimp, but quickly relaxed as the plant worked magic on the pain.

"This should be sewn," Aragorn said to me, looking at me calmly. I quickly shook my head.

"Can't it just be bandaged?" I asked, sure that I wouldn't be able to handle to process. Aragorn looked at me sceptically.

"It would heal much faster if you let me sew it," he replied, sighing when I didn't drop my gaze. Pulling a cloth from a pouch at his side, he wrapped it tightly around my breeches. He then turned back to Boromir and looked at him pensively.

"He fell defending the hobbits, while I was away upon the hill."

"The hobbits!' cried Gimli "Where are they then? Where is Frodo?"

"I do not know," Aragorn answered wearily. "Before he died Boromir told me that the Orcs had bound them; he did not think that they were dead. I sent him to follow Merry and Pippin; but I did not ask him if Frodo or Sam were with him: not until it was too late."

"I saw it all," I spoke up quietly as I looked at Boromir's body. "Neither Frodo nor Sam were with them. I could have helped, but I was a coward and hid," I added at a whisper.

"You would have surely been killed as well," Aragorn said quickly. "It is well that you hid."

I knew that he was right, but I couldn't shake the guilt. What if I had taken down a few of the Uruk—hai from afar? I might have been able to hold them off long enough for Aragorn to arrive and help. _But then Aragorn might have died. And what would you have done then?_

"All that I have done today has gone amiss. What is to be done now?" Aragorn continued after a moment of solemn silence.

"'First we must tend the fallen," said Legolas, turning to look at Boromir. "We cannot leave him lying like carrion among these foul Orcs."

He was leaning back against one of the trees, his eyes closed. If it hadn't been for the arrows that protruded from his chest, I might have believed him to be sleeping. The blood the soaked his tunic said otherwise, and I looked away as my stomach churned. Just a short while ago, he had been alive. The idea was stranger than I had anticipated, and my heart seized.

"But we must be swift," Gimli said. "He would not wish us to linger. We must follow the Orcs, if there is hope that any of our Company are living prisoners."

"But we do not know where the Ring-bearer is," Aragorn said. "Are we to abandon him? Must we not seek him first? An evil choice is now before us!"

"Then let us do first what we must do," Legolas said quickly, clearly eager to be moving on. "We have not the time or the tools to bury our comrade fitly, or to raise a mound over him. A cairn we might build."

"The labour would be hard and long: there are no stones that we could use nearer than the water-side," Gimli pointed out.

"Then let us lay him in a boat with his weapons, and the weapons of his vanquished foes," Aragorn decided. "We will send him to the Falls of Rauros and give him to Anduin. The River of Gondor will take care at least that no evil creature dishonours his bones."

The others worked quickly, piling up all of the Uruk's weapons while I rested. My strength returned quickly, aided by the Athelas, and I was soon able to stand up. As they rummaged through the carnage, Aragorn picked up two knives and held them up, looking them over. They were Merry and Pippin's knives, and as he looked around, he also found their sheaths.

"Well, now, if they still live, our friends are weaponless. I will take these things, hoping against hope, to give them back." Aragorn said, packing them away in his bag.

Legolas too, was scouring the bodies, pulling out all of the arrows that he could find that weren't broken. He held one up, looking over it closely, eyes narrowing curiously.

"'Here lie many that are not folk of Mordor. Some are from the North, from the Misty Mountains, if I know anything of Orcs and their kinds. And here are others strange to me. Their gear is not after the manner of Orcs at all!"

As Aragorn spoke up, I walked over slowly to join them. Looking closer, I noticed for the first time that not all of the beasts were Uruk-hai. Some were smaller, their faces more beastly than their taller companions.

"'I have not seen these tokens before. What do they mean?" The Ranger said again as he kneeled down to get a closer look at one of the Uruk.

The three of them pondered over the mystery of the white hand and 'S' markings, before finally deciding that they must have been for Saruman.

"Well, we have no time to ponder riddles," Gimli said, after Aragorn had puzzled over Saruman for a moment. "Let us bear Boromir away!"

On a stretcher made from branches, the three of them carried Boromir to the river side, where I waited with Aragorn while Legolas and Gimli went to retrieve the boats farther up the lake.

"Do not blame yourself for the loss of Boromir," Aragorn broke the silence as we sat by the river. I looked out over the water at the other shore, wondering where Frodo and Sam had wound up. "There was nothing that you could have done."

I nodded my head, knowing that he was right. As guilty as I felt, I suddenly realised how much I could have messed things up if I had somehow been able to save Boromir. If everyone had escaped the ordeal alive, Boromir's being alive might have jeopardised the whole plot. I kicked at a rock by my feet, wishing to rid myself of the image of Boromir as he fell.

"How is your leg?"

I turned to the ranger this time. "It is fine," I said simply, managing a small smile in thanks before turning my eyes back to the lake. Neither one of us spoke again, thoughts wandering, until Legolas and Gimli returned. I heard their paddles on the water and looked up as they came around the bend.

"There is a strange tale to tell!" Legolas called to us as they made their way towards the bank. "There are only two boats upon the bank. We could find no trace of the other."

"Have Orcs been there?" Aragorn asked, standing up as the boats slid onto the rocks.

"We saw no signs of them," Gimli said, shaking his head. "And Orcs would have taken or

destroyed all the boats, and the baggage as well."

"I will look at the ground when we come there," Aragorn said, looking down the shore curiously.

Legolas and Gimli stepped from the boats and together the four of us placed Boromir into one of them. We arranged his cloak beneath his head, and placed as many of the enemy's weapons as we could fit beneath his feet. His own sword was placed on his chest, along with his horn, which had been cloven in two.

Silently, we then all climbed into the last boat and towed him out to the middle of the lake. I held the boat still along with Legolas and Gimli as Aragorn cut Boromir's boat loose, and we watched as it floated swiftly along with the current. Rauros thundered as the sun shone gold upon it, and soon Boromir disappeared over the edge. We sat in silence.

"They will look for him from the White Tower," Aragorn said sadly after a long moment. "but he will not return from mountain or from sea." He then started to sing.

"Through Rohan over fen and field where the long grass grows,

The West Wind comes walking, and about the walls it goes.

'What news from the West, O wandering wind, do you bring to me tonight?

Have you seen Boromir the Tall by moon or by starlight?'

'I saw him ride over seven streams, over waters wide and grey;

I saw him walk in empty lands, until he passed away

Into the shadows of the North. I saw him then no more.

The North Wind may have heard the horn of the son of Denethor.'

'O Boromir! From the high walls westward I looked afar,

But you came not from the empty lands where no men are.'"

I was struck by the emotion in his voice, and felt tears prick my eyes as I stared at the edge of the water. Legolas sang next.

"From the mouths of the Sea the South Wind flies, from the sandhills and the stones;

The wailing of the gulls it bears, and at the gate it moans.

'What news from the South, O sighing wind, do you bring to me at eve?

Where now is Boromir the Fair? He tarries and I grieve.'

'Ask not of me where he doth dwell – so many bones there lie

On the white shores and the dark shores under the stormy sky;

So many have passed down Anduin to find the flowing Sea.

Ask of the North Wind news of them the North Wind sends to me!'

'O Boromir! Beyond the gate the seaward road runs south,

But you came not with the wailing gulls from the grey sea's mouth.'"

Aragorn finished off the song, his sad words following the water down over the falls.

"From the Gate of Kings the North Wind rides, and past the roaring falls;

And clear and cold about the tower its loud horn calls.

'What news from the North, O mighty wind, do you bring to me today?

What news of Boromir the Bold? For he is long away.'

'Beneath Amon Hen I heard his cry. There many foes he fought.

His cloven shield, his broken sword, they to the water brought.

His head so proud, his face so fair, his limbs they laid to rest;

And Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, bore him upon its breast.'

'O Boromir! The Tower of Guard shall ever northward gaze

To Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, until the end of days.'"

As he finished, I gave in, letting the tears stream down my cheeks. I hadn't been expecting myself to cry, but the song had broken me. We started back towards the shore as I cried quietly, unashamed. We soon reached Parth Galen, and stepped out onto the lawn.

"The Orcs have been on this ground," Aragorn said, stooping down to look at the prints in the grass. "Otherwise nothing can be made out for certain. All our footprints are here, crossing and re-crossing. I cannot tell whether any of the hobbits have come back since the search for Frodo began."

Wandering back to the bank, he pointed out to us that a hobbit had been into the water and back, but nothing else in the ground was clear enough to read.

"How then do you read this riddle?" Gimli asked the ranger.

"Two packs are missing, and one is certainly Sam's: it was rather large and heavy." Aragorn replied, walking back up to where we had made camp this morning. "This then is the answer: Frodo has gone by boat, and his servant has gone with him. Frodo must have returned while we were all away. I met Sam going up the hill and told him to follow me; but plainly he did not do so. He guessed his master's mind and came back here before Frodo had gone. He did not find it easy to leave Sam behind!"

"But why should he leave us behind, and without a word?" Gimli asked gruffly. "That was a strange deed!"

"And a brave deed," Aragorn said to the dwarf. "Sam was right, I think. Frodo did not wish to lead any friend to death with him in Mordor. But he knew that he must go himself. Something happened after he left us that overcame his fear and doubt."

"Maybe hunting Orcs came on him and he fled," Legolas said, and I shook my head involuntarily, getting tired that it was taking so long.

"He fled, certainly," Aragorn agreed, "but not, I think, from Orcs."

"Well," Legolas spoke again, "so much at least is now clear, Frodo is no longer on this side of the River: only he can have taken the boat. And Sam is with him; only he would have taken his pack."

"Our choice then," Gimli said "is either to take the remaining boat and follow Frodo, or else to follow the Orcs on foot. There is little hope either way. We have already lost precious hours."

"If Frodo did not wish for us to follow him, I don't think that we should," I offered, wishing to contribute something to the conversation.

"Let me think!" Aragorn said, brow creasing. "And now may I make a right choice and change the evil fate of this unhappy day!"

I watched as he ran through the options in his mind, feeling pity for the Ranger. I found myself wishing again that I could reassure him, all of them, that everything would work out, but it was out of the question. It would be foolish of me to jeopardise the story like that.

"I will follow the Orcs," Aragorn said suddenly, turning back to face us. "I would have guided Frodo to Mordor and gone with him to the end; but if I seek him now in the wilderness, I must abandon the captives to torment and death. My heart speaks clearly at last: the fate of the Bearer is in my hands no longer. The Company has played its part. Yet we that remain cannot forsake our companions while we have strength left. Come! We will go now. Leave all that can be spared behind! We will press on by day and dark!"

Hastily, we pulled the last boat from the water and hid it in the trees, piling all of the gear that we didn't need underneath of it. I grabbed my pack and helped to pack the food, before hoisting it onto my shoulders. We left Parth Galen as quickly as we could, making our way back through the woods to where Boromir had fallen. Though it was nearing dusk, it wasn't hard to pick up the trail of the Uruk-hai.

"No other folk make such a trampling," Legolas pointed out as we began to follow it through the trees. "It seems their delight to slash and beat down growing things that are not even in their way."

"But they go with a great speed for all that, and they do not tire. And later we may have to search for our path in hard bare lands," Aragorn said wearily.

"Well, after them!" said Gimli. "Dwarves too can go swiftly, and they do not tire sooner than Orcs. But it will be a long chase: they have a long start."

I laughed to myself at his words, and turned to Aragorn as he spoke.

"Yes, we shall all need the endurance of Dwarves. But come! With hope or without hope we will follow the trail of our enemies. And woe to them, if we prove the swifter! We will make such a chase as shall be accounted a marvel among the Three Kindreds – Elves, Dwarves, and Men. Forth the Four Hunters!"

My heart skipped a beat as Aragorn took off through the trees. _The Four Hunters._ It struck me then that I really had become a part of the story, and I felt a shiver run down my spine. I could only hope that I would not interfere with anything.

"Let's hunt some Orc," I said, unable to help myself as I followed after him. I heard Gimli grunt enthusiastically from beside me, and smiled despite the situation. Pain shot up my leg with each step, but I was determined to not let it get the better of me. I needed to keep up with the others.

As the sun set, we left the woods behind us, coming to long sloping hills of rock. They rose up in jagged peaks around us, silhouetted against the red sky. The sun soon fell behind us, and in the darkness, we carried on, making our way along the rocks. Both Lothlórien and the River Anduin were behind me now, and I couldn't look back.

End of Book 1

* * *

 _I will be continuing the second book of this story as "Waking Dreams: Book 2", so please be on the lookout for that! I cannot tell you when I will have the first chapter of Book 2 up, but when I do get the second story posted, I will post an Author's Note here in this story to let you all know!_

 _Thank you to everyone who has joined me on this adventure! I would not have been able to get this far without all of your support. The readers who followed and favourited this story, and who left me reviews, are the only reason that I was able to carry on with this work! I am still in disbelief that my fic managed to round up this much support, and I have all of you to thank for that! I hope that all of you will return for the next installment of the story, and that I will continue to hear from you all!_

 _Thanks again, for reading, and I hoped that you enjoyed this chapter!_

 _-Eru_


	23. Chapter 1 of Book 2 is LIVE!

_Hello everyone! This is just a heads-up that the first chapter of Book 2 is LIVE! If you haven't already been over to follow/favourite it, you can find Book 2 on my profile. I hope that you all enjoy the first chapter!_

 _-Eru_


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